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    I'm new here

    Today I have 6 days, the bad part is I would have had five years. I have no good explanation as to why I went back out last September, but I've really struggled to get back on track ever since. I just had this strange feeling like I needed to go a little crazy for awhile. I got tired of being good all the time. I got this crazy idea that I could stop because I'm older and wiser now. Besides, I only drink once a week these days so surely I could give it up whenever I chose. Nope, not the case. True, I do only drink once a week but I'm so off the hook crazy when I do it that I hate myself just as much as I did when I did drink everyday. And, I'm terrified I'll start to drink more frequently.
    I'm a bartender. Makes things a little tougher. But, I was a bartender for four years sober so that's not really a good excuse. But, Saturdays get me every week. I'm fine on all my other days so I'm a little worried about tommorow.
    So, I have six days, my supplements, a great therapist, extremely supportive friends and family. My life is actually pretty good on days when I take the time to be grateful for it. My stress level is minimal, I'm employed, and have a great husband, and many people who love me. And absolutely no reason to drink whatsoever...I just do it. For no reason at all.
    But, not anymore. I don't ever want to drink again because there's nothing worse than someone saying "do you remember what you said/did last night?" Oh, and hangovers. Hangovers suck. Going back to work at a bar with a hangover double sucks.
    Thanks for letting me share.
    Good luck to us all
    AF since 06/27/2011

    Of all vices, drinking in the most imcompatible with greatness. Sir Walter Scott

    #2
    I'm new here

    Hi Blues
    Thanks for sharing. Interesting story. My first thought was that I could never work in a Bar and maintain an AF lifestyle. The temptation all around you, as well as the fact you are serving the stuff to others....ugh! I can't help but think this has got to have an effect on you. Interesting that the night you binge is the biggest drinking night of the week for everyone else. Too much of a coincidence for me.

    Hope you find you answers. I can only encourage you to stay AF as it is a much better way to live from my experience.
    Kind regards
    Hazeleyes
    Allen Carr’s book changed everything for me. The easyway to control alcohol. Highly recommended

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      #3
      I'm new here

      Hi Blues Dancer and Welcome. Glad you found our community. I couldn't stand the smell of booze with a hangover. I can't imagine how tough it must of been for you to go to work. Well best of luck getting back to the AF lifestyle. Keep posting.
      Outside of a dog a book is mans best friend. Inside of a dog its too dark to read

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        #4
        I'm new here

        Hi blues Dancer
        I'm new here too, so hi!:welcome:

        It must be terribly difficult to be a bar tender - so I don't envy you that! I suppose one good thing is that you get to see all the other alcoholics make fools of themselves (like I do - hopefully wont do again) and get a little put off by the whole scene? (Hey, clutching at straws here...)
        Good luck with it!

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          #5
          I'm new here

          Have you tried finding work for Sat night. Can't drink if you are working.

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