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    Not ready to quit altogether/ very confused

    Hello everyone. Have read some of the stories here and it seems that the only thing in common is that we either want to quit drinking or want to moderate. I have been drinking on a daily basis for the past 10 years, I am now 37. Before that I used to binge drink occasionally. I also started my restaurant 10 years ago and I partly blame this for my drinking. The local media says that we have the best margaritias and mojitos in town and I have also been called the best "mixologist" in the area. Yes my job entails coming up with seasonal cocktails hence I love tasting all the new flavored vodkas, infused rums, fruit liquers etc. I also have to come up with the wine lists which involves meeting w/ the wine vendors and tasting about 12 kinds of wines each time. (can't bring myself to taste and spit, unless its bad) so of course after this I am usually very buzzed. I realize I have a problem because when I drink at work I normally drive home somewhat buzzed. Never had a problem, but I know that this can be a ticking time bomb and feel bad every time I do it. As many of you know drinking daily is very common among restaruant workers, it's cheaper and easier for us.

    Everytime I have mentioned my drinking to my doctor (2 to 3 drinks on weekdays, 3-5 on weekends and on holidays) she does not think I have a problem. With my insistence she has sent me to 2 therapists, both who also dismissed my worries. One of them even told me that I was the first patient they saw that wasn't sent by the courts after a DUI. No one in my family thinks I have a problem, even when I ask them. I think that there is this stereotype of someone who has a problem, bad mood swings, aggressive behaviour, blackouts, etc. Normally people can't tell I am drunk, even my husband. O.K there is problem number two. I have managed to cut my days at the restarurant to 2 to 3 days a week. But my husband in a wine lover ( has a big wine cellar and everything) and we drink on average a bottle of wine a night with dinner. More on weekends when we might have a dessert wine or port especially when we go out. 100% of the people we know drink so every social gathering is cause for drinking as well. Also all of our holidays entail going to wine tasting regions or revolve around eating gourmet meals and drinking great wine. Sometimes I think if alcohol wern't so easily available to me I would not drink as much, but given my job and my wine loving husband it seems impossible. So I feel like my only realistic option is to seriously moderate and never drink and drive. I am healthy, I workout 4 times a week, eat really well and I feel that this is the only un-helathy thing I do. I thought that I could scare myself into not drinking by having my doctor test me for liver function, but is there anyway of knowing if there has been damage done to your body? Apparently liver tests only show damage when there is severe damage. Does anyone know if there is any way of knowing what kind of damage your body might have sustained from regular drinking? Thank you all for listening to my story. Ironcially I have known I have a problem for many years now and have even tried to seek help but I guess I have used other peoples perceptions about me to trump my inner instincts. ( and allow me to have a form of denial "hey they don't think I have a problem, so I probably don't") Other than that my life is pretty perfect.

    #2
    Not ready to quit altogether/ very confused

    Hi Mafalda and welcome!

    I really believe in trusting your gut - if you think you may have a problem, that's probably closer to the truth than what other people think. And, it may not be so much how MUCH you drink as it is WHY and HOW you drink. If you're drinking to get the buzz, or you change plans just so you won't miss the opportunity to drink, then that may be telling you something.

    And it's great that you want to do something about it now before it gets worse - I wish I had not waited so long.

    I can't help with the medical tests, sorry.

    Hope to 'see' you around.

    pixie
    AF since 6JUN2012

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      #3
      Not ready to quit altogether/ very confused

      Hi Mafalda,
      Once you feel you have a problem that feeling won't go away untill you do something about it. Even one day a week without drinking would help as would a good supplement regime. B vits and zinc are among those destroyed by alcohol so taking a sup whilst drinking will help. The Kudzu reduces cravings and you might find yourself drinking less on it. Have a look in the my way out shop and see the other recommended sups.
      Keep coming back here too.
      Suz
      Suz
      Happy to be sober since 07 Sept 09.

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        #4
        Not ready to quit altogether/ very confused

        Ah ... sweet pea... how big are those drinks?

        Know where you are~BTDT~ you KNOW you have a problem.... coming here... WELCOME!!!!!

        Skoots
        "I have not failed - I have just found 10,000 ways that won't work"- Thomas A Edison

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          #5
          Not ready to quit altogether/ very confused

          I agree.
          If you feel you have a problem, then you do.
          :welcome:

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            #6
            Not ready to quit altogether/ very confused

            Hi mafalda :welcome:

            Boy you are in a tough situation for wanting to quit. And I do agree with the others here- you know yourself the best. If you feel you are drinking too much or too often or for the wrong reasons and you have a problem - good chance it is a problem. Goingsobermum has a good suggestion and having one or two completely sober days a week is a great start.
            Stick around and let us know how you are doing- ok?
            Lisa

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              #7
              Not ready to quit altogether/ very confused

              Welcome Mafalda,
              Glad you are here and thanks for sharing your story. I agree with what everyone has said before me and that if you think you are drinking too much then you are. No one in my family thought I had a problem either because everyone else drinks, well except my husband who wouldn't say anything anyway. I just didn't like myself or where I saw myself heading.
              Stick around and keep posting and reading. I wish you all the best!
              "Keep your eyes and heart focused on the end goal at all times, and never settle for less."

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                #8
                Not ready to quit altogether/ very confused

                Hello and welcome here.
                This is a hard one. I did not get it very clear how you feel the day after your drinking. Because me I am like that, it does not matter how small I drink, it does affect my mood and I am sensitive for depression connect to alcohol.
                It does not sound that your drinking is affecting your life much though your life is pretty much around alcohol. For me it is though serious to drink and drive and in my country it is unlegal to drink more then one drink and drive. Then you loose your driving licience.
                But I am sure you write here because you dont feel good about this hole thing. One of my best friends have 3 big restaurants and he stopped to drink 4 years ago and just other people taste the drink and wine for him. So that is something is possible to change.
                I hope you find some street you are happy to drive and we are always here for you.
                Take care
                Ylfa

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