I used to use this site quite a lot several years ago. I was trying to moderate my drinking, but never really succeeded. I was drinking at least a bottle of wine every day and sometimes a lot more than that. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I was diagnosed with throat cancer early in 2010 (probably caused by my heavy drinking and smoking for many years, although I had already quit smoking 4 years earlier). The treatment for the cancer forced me to stop drinking for a while. It took me 2 years to fully recover and, thankfully, the cancer seems to be gone. After I began recovering from the cancer treatment, I found I could just have a few drinks without any real desire to have more, which was great. However, the drinking has crept up over the years. I am now at the stage where I can go 3 days a week with no alcohol and just have a few drinks on the other nights, but about once a month or so I go on a complete binge on one night, particularly when I am stressed or have had a row with my husband. We have always had a volatile relationship, but generally get on well and I know that alcohol does not help anything. I did it again last night, got angry with hubby and drank far too much vodka. He is now very cross and threatening to leave me! I know I drink loads when I get angry and then I get even more angry and in a really destructive way. I want to stop this cycle of binging, but would like to continue to enjoy a few drinks on 3 or 4 nights a week. I am also worried that if I keep doing this, then my cancer might come back. I just don't know how to stop this binging and would be grateful for any advice.
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Back again after several years and desperate to stop binging
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Back again after several years and desperate to stop binging
Hi everyone
I used to use this site quite a lot several years ago. I was trying to moderate my drinking, but never really succeeded. I was drinking at least a bottle of wine every day and sometimes a lot more than that. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I was diagnosed with throat cancer early in 2010 (probably caused by my heavy drinking and smoking for many years, although I had already quit smoking 4 years earlier). The treatment for the cancer forced me to stop drinking for a while. It took me 2 years to fully recover and, thankfully, the cancer seems to be gone. After I began recovering from the cancer treatment, I found I could just have a few drinks without any real desire to have more, which was great. However, the drinking has crept up over the years. I am now at the stage where I can go 3 days a week with no alcohol and just have a few drinks on the other nights, but about once a month or so I go on a complete binge on one night, particularly when I am stressed or have had a row with my husband. We have always had a volatile relationship, but generally get on well and I know that alcohol does not help anything. I did it again last night, got angry with hubby and drank far too much vodka. He is now very cross and threatening to leave me! I know I drink loads when I get angry and then I get even more angry and in a really destructive way. I want to stop this cycle of binging, but would like to continue to enjoy a few drinks on 3 or 4 nights a week. I am also worried that if I keep doing this, then my cancer might come back. I just don't know how to stop this binging and would be grateful for any advice.Tags: None
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Back again after several years and desperate to stop binging
Leo Lady- You just gotta stop drinking. I know its hard but really, its not worth it. I am going to a meeting but just want you to know, I read your post and will come back.Narilly
"Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
"You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"
AF April 12, 2014
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Back again after several years and desperate to stop binging
Hi Leolady...
Welcome back. We sound similar. I too just returned here after taking a long break.
I started drinking heavily every night & just couldn't post here because I felt like I was an emotional mess. I too battle binge drinking. I can make it most all week but when the weekend comes around I feel I have permission to drink. I decided it was time to come back because loneliness contributes to my drinking. I need support I have found here before.
Getting things straightened out with your hubby will help too. My husband & I used to fight horribly all the time. We tried to blame alcohol but truth is we had some serious issues to work out. It was shocking to him that even when I/we didn't drink that the issues were still there. I found working on myself first helped. I tried to quit worrying about what he thought & started looking deeper into myself to see what my functions where with alcohol.
I am still working hard at it. Something I realized at first is that I didn't have much self appreciation or love. I am/was extremely judgemental of myself.
I have tried numerous things to stop drinking but I am giving Naltrexone another shot.
I think talking really helps.
Feel free to pm me if you want to talk.
welcome:
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Back again after several years and desperate to stop binging
Leo Lady,
I too have struggled with binging my whole life. Once I started drinking everynight it got even harder to stop. Eventually I hit bottom and just tried to keep it to weekends. This did not always work and I would see myself slipping into old ways.
I tried AA and I found MWO which really helps, I think. Just to hear other people's stories, that makes a big difference to me.
I now see alcohol as something I never want to have again. After fighting this for over 37 years I am finally able to say I won't drink.
It is nice to have conversations with people- especially my husband and remember them. Also, the drunk fights are just crazy and make no sense, I don't want to have them ever again.
Would you consider counselling? Maybe hypno would help. Something, anything to break the cycle. Can you talk to your husband? There may be some way you could help each other. Even if you could slow down a bit it would help.
Hang in there. I know it sucks but there is light at the end of the tunnel.Narilly
"Nothing in this World Can take the place of Persistence"
"You can have the life you want OR you can Drink"
AF April 12, 2014
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Back again after several years and desperate to stop binging
Welcome back Leo lady. In my experience moderation is just too hard and ultimately doesn't work. It does not seem an option for you either. Even having the vodka at hand sabotages moderation. binging and moderation seem opposites to me.
You have been AF in the past and it would seem that now is the time to recommit to this, throw out all the booze, make a plan, get support for being sober And then deal with the other issues in your life.
In fact moderation not only doesn't work for most of us but it's not even fun.
Look forward to your future posts
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Back again after several years and desperate to stop binging
Thank you so much narilly, bkyogagurl and treetops for your very thoughtful replies. I am still not sure that I want to stop drinking completely, but it may be the only way for me. Clearly, what I am doing at the moment is not working. I would consider counselling and might go down that route. I have tried it in the past, although not specifically for my problems with alcohol. However, I agree that I need a period of complete abstinence from alcohol before deciding whether or not to continue like that or to give moderation one last try. What you said about still having the problems without drinking really resonated with me. bkyogagurl. I do think that my husband finds it very difficult to discuss or address our difficulties and tends to blame me for everything! Of course, when I drink myself silly, I am just giving him even more reason to place the blame on that alone. I think I sometimes drink like that as a way of getting back at him when he has been confrontational and that is not a very grown up way to react. It is also doing my health no good at all. Thanks again to all of you and I will no doubt be posting again soon. I would be very interested to hear how you are all getting along from time to time as well.
Diana
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