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    #31
    female - need male perspective

    Guitarista;1206309 wrote: Sorry to hear that Lilly.

    Onward and upward as best you can friend.

    Take care of yourself.

    G-bloke.
    Thanks G. It's sucky that's for sure but better to know now than later I guess. Life's too short to waste with people who lack integrity. Onward to stronger, better, wiser, healthier.

    Comment

      #32
      female - need male perspective

      I guess I am very lucky I have a great lady who doesn't mind me looking at porn sites on the internet, we also watch x movies together, and you know what? I am tired of it, LOL. It is like, ok , lets do it and get it out of your system, but keep in mind that you have to take care of his sexual needs ! I truely love my lady, so it isn't that difficult, although we both have to work on it. Email me for any questions, Love!!!

      Comment

        #33
        female - need male perspective

        spiderweb;1207059 wrote: I guess I am very lucky I have a great lady who doesn't mind me looking at porn sites on the internet, we also watch x movies together, and you know what? I am tired of it, LOL. It is like, ok , lets do it and get it out of your system, but keep in mind that you have to take care of his sexual needs ! I truely love my lady, so it isn't that difficult, although we both have to work on it. Email me for any questions, Love!!!
        Serious?? LOL
        Psalms 119:45


        ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

        St. Francis of Assisi



        I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

        :rays:

        Comment

          #34
          female - need male perspective

          Hey All,

          Its been nearly 4 weeks on our own, myself and my babies! Lil bambino is doing great and my 5 1/2 year old is good although doesn't understand why my partner had to leave - he is so sad :upset:

          I am happier 90% of the time. It's just hard that my ex made his choices, he'd prefer his hand and computer than a real life relationship with me and my son and be a ft dad to our baby daughter. He also knows this.
          And when he comes to see the little one it is a constant reminder of the cold reality of it all.

          Lilly - Your situation is so sad, with your recent guy - though he chose to do that, he chose to lie - you are not to blame. How long had you managed AF?
          Your ex husband also sounds vile - and although i agree that where we are, gives you more insight and empathy, it doesnt make it any easier. How long were you married?

          RC - how is modding going? have you been managing ok?

          Spiderweb - you are indeed lucky - neither you or your partner have a porn/sex addiction
          To see a world in a grain of sand
          And a heaven in a wildflower.
          Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
          And eternity in an hour.

          Comment

            #35
            female - need male perspective

            Hey LS, thanks for checking in and asking about me too. Sounds like you are doing really well under the circumstances. It takes time for any relationship to really wind down. I think it is especially hard when there has been intense drama. Those neurorecptors get activated just like with addiction and the brain has to realize it's not going to get the fuel it was getting. I'm really sorry you've had this experience, but you seem to be moving on quite well. Good for you and your children. xo

            As for moi--still holding to my goals--once or twice a week and I am still pouring out 1 glass from the bottle. One night I was extremely stressed and was kinda cursing myself for pouring it out but was happy in the morning and I remind myself of that if I waiver when I open a bottle.
            Psalms 119:45


            ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

            St. Francis of Assisi



            I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

            :rays:

            Comment

              #36
              female - need male perspective

              Thats great news RC, it is great feeling that you are gaining control of your relationship with AL, recognising feeling stressed as a trigger and overcoming it then feeling happy with the outcome!
              I think you will do just fine!
              To see a world in a grain of sand
              And a heaven in a wildflower.
              Hold infinity in the palm of your hand,
              And eternity in an hour.

              Comment

                #37
                female - need male perspective

                Ta LS. My troubles are far from over though. Just got notice to appear in court in May of 2012. The papers were to be filed by ex porn addict by mid August. I thought it was all over but 4 months later I find out it isn't. I'm so sick of assholes....but I will do this without reverting to drinking myself into oblivion! They'll have to take me down some other way.
                Psalms 119:45


                ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

                St. Francis of Assisi



                I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

                :rays:

                Comment

                  #38
                  female - need male perspective

                  spiderweb;1207059 wrote: I guess I am very lucky I have a great lady who doesn't mind me looking at porn sites on the internet, we also watch x movies together, and you know what? I am tired of it, LOL. It is like, ok , lets do it and get it out of your system, but keep in mind that you have to take care of his sexual needs ! I truely love my lady, so it isn't that difficult, although we both have to work on it. Email me for any questions, Love!!!
                  Kid Rock FTW!!! Sorry to threadjack this thing, but saw him in concert a few months ago......the man is a true entertainer, as well as one hell of a musician. He can play any instrument on his stage.......One of my top 10 bands/acts


                  I wont comment on the Pr0n because I dont wanna lose any friendships I have forged in here. :H
                  Living on Planet Sober since 05/02/11




                  DAREDEVIL COOKIE MONSTER

                  Comment

                    #39
                    female - need male perspective

                    Nelz;1210973 wrote: Kid Rock FTW!!! Sorry to threadjack this thing, but saw him in concert a few months ago......the man is a true entertainer, as well as one hell of a musician. He can play any instrument on his stage.......One of my top 10 bands/acts


                    I wont comment on the Pr0n because I dont wanna lose any friendships I have forged in here. :H
                    Is Spiderweb Kid Rock???? Comment on the porn you should, if you lose friendships, they weren't really friendships.
                    Psalms 119:45


                    ?Start by doing what is necessary, then what is possible, and suddenly you are doing the impossible.?

                    St. Francis of Assisi



                    I'm not perfect, never will be, but better than I was and not as good as I'm going to be.

                    :rays:

                    Comment

                      #40
                      female - need male perspective

                      Funny i should find this here. I haven't watched porn in almost a month. I tried to get away from all bad behavior, orgasm releases dopamine, and the intensity of your orgasm is based on how much gaba you have built up. So in order to heal my brain completely during my baclofen taper, I've been abstaining from all drugs and even porn.

                      Well for the past 3 or 4 days i've relapsed a bit, i ate a bunch of lortabs, didn't watch porn but been viewing myfreecams, which is a website of live girls you can talk to. I've been cussing and thinking negative thoughts, wanting to do bad things. I think the devil is after me sometimes and hates that i'm trying to do better.

                      I had cut down to masturbating only once a week to help balance my sex hormones and stop viewing every woman as a porn star. It's been a rough 6 months for me after my car wreck. I know god let me live and i want to do something positive with my life but bad habits and being bad is so much more fun to me.

                      I'm praying everyday, and while i only slipped for 3-4 days i don't feel so bad about it. I feel regretful and ashamed, but it's easier to correct than falling face first back into full blown stupidity. I would have killed myself with drugs and alcohol if i would've continued on the path i was following. I managed to only drink a 6 pack on a night of my addictive behavior relapse. Which thinking back on makes me smile, 6 months with only a 6 pack, hey it's almost seven months now, time flys.

                      I believe your boyfriend is bored because he has an addictive personality and wants the chemical release so he feels better, temporarily. Orgasm releases Dopamine, serotonin, oxytocin, norepinephrine and testosterone. Porn is like self medicating. Which we all know addicts love to do.

                      Everything in moderation as moderation is the key to everything. -- me
                      I hate to advocate drugs, alcohol, violence, or insanity to anyone, but they've always worked for me." - Hunter S. Thompson

                      Life affords no higher pleasure, than that of surmounting difficulties, passing from one step of success to another, forming new wishes, and seeing them gratified. He that labours in any great or laudable undertaking, has his fatigues first supported by hope, and afterwards rewarded by joy

                      Comment

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