Cool guy stuff thread
ATM Instructions
TO OUR VALUED CUSTOMERS:
HSBC Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new “Drive-thru” cash point machines where our customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable our customers to make full use of these new facilities, we have conducted intensive behavioral studies to come up with appropriate procedures for their use. Please read the procedures that apply to you (i.e. MALE or FEMALE) and remember them for when you use our new machines for the first time.
PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Wind down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Wind up window.
7. Drive off.
PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with cash machine.
3. Re-start the stalled engine.
4. Wind down the window.
5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
6. Turn the radio down.
7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
9. Insert card.
10. Re-insert card the right way up.
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
12. Enter PIN.
13. Press “Cancel” and re-enter correct PIN.
14. Enter amount of cash required.
15. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
16. Retrieve cash and receipt.
17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
18. Place receipt in back of cheque book.
19. Re-check make-up.
20. Drive forward 2 meters.
21. Reverse back to cash machine.
22. Retrieve card.
23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
26. Release handbrake
ATM Instructions
TO OUR VALUED CUSTOMERS:
HSBC Bank is very pleased to inform you that we are installing new “Drive-thru” cash point machines where our customers will be able to withdraw cash without leaving their vehicles. To enable our customers to make full use of these new facilities, we have conducted intensive behavioral studies to come up with appropriate procedures for their use. Please read the procedures that apply to you (i.e. MALE or FEMALE) and remember them for when you use our new machines for the first time.
PROCEDURES FOR OUR MALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to the cash machine.
2. Wind down your car window.
3. Insert card into machine and enter PIN.
4. Enter amount of cash required and withdraw.
5. Retrieve card, cash and receipt.
6. Wind up window.
7. Drive off.
PROCEDURES FOR OUR FEMALE CUSTOMERS:
1. Drive up to cash machine.
2. Reverse back the required amount to align car window with cash machine.
3. Re-start the stalled engine.
4. Wind down the window.
5. Find handbag, remove all contents on to passenger seat to locate card.
6. Turn the radio down.
7. Attempt to insert card into machine.
8. Open car door to allow easier access to cash machine due to its excessive distance from the car.
9. Insert card.
10. Re-insert card the right way up.
11. Re-enter handbag to find diary with your PIN written on the inside back page.
12. Enter PIN.
13. Press “Cancel” and re-enter correct PIN.
14. Enter amount of cash required.
15. Check make-up in rear view mirror.
16. Retrieve cash and receipt.
17. Empty handbag again to locate purse and place cash inside.
18. Place receipt in back of cheque book.
19. Re-check make-up.
20. Drive forward 2 meters.
21. Reverse back to cash machine.
22. Retrieve card.
23. Re-empty hand bag, locate card holder, and place card into the slot provided.
24. Restart stalled engine and pull off.
25. Drive for 2 to 3 miles.
26. Release handbrake
Lush my dear that ones for you :l 
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