Hi I'm a Newbie
yet another newbie!!
Hi Everyone:
My father died on May 10, 2006. Going to the funeral stirred up layers of pain that years of therapy had mostly put to rest. Several of my sibs behaved outrageously (without alcohol). Their rage and pain was awesome. He was an emotionally detached man, soft spoken and with a talent for cutting sarcasm that was world class. I went to the funeral out of curiosity--he and my mother have been demented for at least four years now--and before that were involved with each other in a paranoid dance that left the kids neglected but possibly better off. So what does this have to do with drinking? I drank heavily (for me) while I was there. Probably no surprise, but once again I had to face what I have known for years--I can't control it. I don't drink a lot, but it's the pattern. I read this over and over in the book and in your comments. The cravings, the trigger for drinking, the blessed relief of the first and second drink, but the humiliation in the morning, the wondering if anyone could tell, and of course the shame that I had let myself down again. After I got home, the drinking continued, and last night in desperation I sat down at the computer intending to contact AA online. Which I did. But I also found this site, and downloaded the book. I have read most of it. Could this be true? You all are saying that it is, so I am going to try it.
I tried Campral, a year and a half ago. It is wonderful. The cravings stopped within two days, and I didn't care if I ever drank again. The relief! Unfortunately, I developed one of the rarest side effects--hypothyroidism. After six weeks or so on the drug, I abruptly fell off a cliff into massive exhaustion, depression, a weight gain of 20 pounds without the food to match, and anxiety. My internist said my thyroid tests were normal, but I could find no other explanation. Like Roberta Jewell, I research everything a lot. Reading used to forestall the drinking! Finally, in January, I saw an endocrinologist who confirmed my research, and I'm back to normal. But I'm afraid to take Campral again--though since I am taking thyroid medication, it probably would be okay.
This idea of drinking in moderation, and of being able to stop! To really say, "No thanks," to a drink and mean it? Wow!
Sorry to carry on so, but it has been a tough month. This site has made my day, though, and I'm definitely going to try this program.
Thanks.
yet another newbie!!
Hi Everyone:
My father died on May 10, 2006. Going to the funeral stirred up layers of pain that years of therapy had mostly put to rest. Several of my sibs behaved outrageously (without alcohol). Their rage and pain was awesome. He was an emotionally detached man, soft spoken and with a talent for cutting sarcasm that was world class. I went to the funeral out of curiosity--he and my mother have been demented for at least four years now--and before that were involved with each other in a paranoid dance that left the kids neglected but possibly better off. So what does this have to do with drinking? I drank heavily (for me) while I was there. Probably no surprise, but once again I had to face what I have known for years--I can't control it. I don't drink a lot, but it's the pattern. I read this over and over in the book and in your comments. The cravings, the trigger for drinking, the blessed relief of the first and second drink, but the humiliation in the morning, the wondering if anyone could tell, and of course the shame that I had let myself down again. After I got home, the drinking continued, and last night in desperation I sat down at the computer intending to contact AA online. Which I did. But I also found this site, and downloaded the book. I have read most of it. Could this be true? You all are saying that it is, so I am going to try it.
I tried Campral, a year and a half ago. It is wonderful. The cravings stopped within two days, and I didn't care if I ever drank again. The relief! Unfortunately, I developed one of the rarest side effects--hypothyroidism. After six weeks or so on the drug, I abruptly fell off a cliff into massive exhaustion, depression, a weight gain of 20 pounds without the food to match, and anxiety. My internist said my thyroid tests were normal, but I could find no other explanation. Like Roberta Jewell, I research everything a lot. Reading used to forestall the drinking! Finally, in January, I saw an endocrinologist who confirmed my research, and I'm back to normal. But I'm afraid to take Campral again--though since I am taking thyroid medication, it probably would be okay.
This idea of drinking in moderation, and of being able to stop! To really say, "No thanks," to a drink and mean it? Wow!
Sorry to carry on so, but it has been a tough month. This site has made my day, though, and I'm definitely going to try this program.
Thanks.
. even had a great, great day but, by evening, was reminded of a couple of incidents that "set me off" lately (very hurtful situation with a couple of friends...even as adults some times we can feel like we're in 7th grade again!) and, with my husband away, there really was no reason (so it seemed) not to drink. i listened to the hypnosis cd earlier in the day and felt confident i could stop at 2 but i didn't. i'm so ashamed, i drank more than i even usually do -- a whole bottle PLUS 2 glasses. i'm devastated and so mortified. clearly i still have so much work to do, i know that, and i'm really determined to get back on track. i'm really sad...and if it wasn't for this site, i'd feel TOTALLY alone...even though there are people all around me...i am praying for the courage and the strength to succeed on this program...for all of us.
I have reviewed the Topamax material and other stuff, and I am somewhat scared of the topa. My job requires that I remember at least most stuff and write reasonably well. I think that I am going to discuss with my doctor using naltrexone in place of the topa. If that doesn't help, I'll probably go on to try the topa.
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