monday 12 July af

[bear73]

Morning all - day 2 af here - went to the football bbq and didn't drink, wasn't even tempted due to hangover.

I re - read my old posts from when i was AF for 3 months last year,and also seeing the pattern of every few weeks when moderating my consumption getting high again, the anxiety of 'should I shouldn't I drink' posts

THE PLAN

*Keep up with exercise - it helps my mood and physically I am looking better.

*Stick with nicotine patches and call 'Quitline' to talk through my plan.

*Keep stocked up with my favourite af drinks ,diet 7up,sparkling elderflower.

*Challenge the thinking which gets me into trouble,when it happens.I often will be walking to the event where I am planning to be af/nf and will have thoughts of 'well i can just have one ' and 'I've not stuck to it so far it's too hard' and ' never drink again that's impossible'.

*This dilemma causes me stress which I then think I need alcohol to take me out of.
I also get nervous socially - but I forget that I do still get nervous with alcohol anyway,sometimes more so if I'm conscious of slurring.

*Get out of any events which will just be too challenging - looking at it there isn't anything too bad BUT if I am somewhere and it is too much - I will leave.

*F**k everyone else and what they may think of it - I'm not sharing my inention to be AF/NF as it's precious and I know from experience if I make big announcements I sabotage myself/freak out and fail. Maybe after a year - my excuse will be about getting in shape to be a better skater.

*Focusing on the now - today - refusing the first drink/cigarette.

*Reading - 'living sober' I may buy the allen carr book - much as I find him really patronising, the message is really strong and probably what I need to hear right now.

Have a good day all to come, and thanks for challenging me (in a good way) and pushing me to re-think what clearly isn't working.
Onwards and upwards.

[greeneyes]

monday 12 July af

Morning abbers!!

Good job bear!

DG and anyone else with a homeless 5 lb zucchini: :chef:

Zucchini Crust Pizza - 215506 - Recipezaar

Mollie Katzen Online

Zucchini-feta Pancakes Recipe

I have a yellow (or any kind) squash soup with basil recipe posted in recipes that is quite tasty.

My desk is a frightful pile of paperwork. :shocked: Sometimes I think back to the days of the black hole and almost shudder. It is frightening to see how AL can change you into someone entirely different and it happens in such insidious ways. So often here I see new people express that common feeling of "OMG, how did I get this way?" hummm... time to go stand outside barefoot in the damp grass and express my gratitude to the universe.

May the force be with you!

This is a telecast for tomorrow at 1 PM EST. There will be a 48 replay afterwards. It might be worth a look (marshy) Ann Taylor @ Inner Healing Compass

[Doggygirl]

monday 12 July af

Good morning from the iPhone and Mary Kay day at Curves! No sandwich posts today. Good for you bear day 2.

Greenie thanks for zuke links. My messes drive me nuts now too. They didn't used to bother me I lived like a piggy. More rain last night. Sun shining now. Perfect co ditions if you are a zuke. Curves ladies talking chocate zuke bread.

one thing is for sure there will be no al for me today!

[LVT25]

monday 12 July af

Hello friends

Bear I highly recommend Alan Carr's Easy Way to Stop Smoking, i haven't read the drinking one.

Have a great sober week everyone!

zoom zoom zoom

[momof3]

monday 12 July af

Good Morning from the Great Smoky Mountains,

I now know why they call them Smoky mountains. They go on in an endless hazy fashion. Quite beautiful. It's raining like crazy here today. Mother earth needs it.

Friends that we are sharing the house with are into wine. They don't drink much but love a good, expensive glass or two. These are my friends from NH that I have known for over 25 years. We have been around each other several times since I have stopped drinking. This time around, I am feeling a certain restlessness around them and thoughts of drinking have come up fleetingly. So my vigilance is up. I plan on lots of walks in the beautiful outdoors when I feel this way and to stick close to my kids. As DG says, One thing is for sure, there will be no al for me today.

Marshy, thinking of you and your mom and sending you lots of prayers and healing thoughts.

M3

[Lavande]

monday 12 July af

Morning Abbers,

Yes, I overslept but glad I did because I needed it

Congrats on day 2 bear - now stick with your plan!!!

Greenie, I've listened to all of the Inner Healing Compass telecasts so far.........very good!

Time to get some work done - wishing everyone a great AF day!
Lav

[Marshy]

monday 12 July af

Afternoon all,

Bear - work that plan!

Greenie - weird thing you reminded me of about the last telecast you posted. I got home from work late on the Friday before last and thought I'd listen to it. Opened it up and put it on pause while I went to get a cup of tea. As I was just sitting down again to listen to it, the phone rang and it was my dad saying mum had been diagnosed with cancer. Spooky timing eh? Now, should I listen to the new one or will I get more bad news

Momof3 - I googled Smoky Mountains. Heard of them but didn't know where they were. Gorgeous pix online. And apparently they are home to more species of salamander than anywhere in the world. So watch out for salamanders!

Helloooo DG, Lav & LVT.

Been for a really nice swim. Very calming. The weather has cooled off a bit so it wasn't as packed as it has been. No update on mum's prognosis yet until at least tomorrow. I hope at least the oncologists will be able to recommend treatment after she had another scan on Friday and get the ball rolling somehow. We'll see.

Oh, I emailed the woman I like who's leaving town to see if she fancies a farewell drink. No response. She's either:

a. Mid-move already and her computer is stored in a box somewhere.
b. On holiday up a mountain or on a beach that doesn't have internet access.
c. Not remotely interested in me.

Hmmm. I'm holding out for a or b.

[universal]

monday 12 July af

Hi everyone - bear I like you plan and your resolution. I myself have struggled for years and continue too.

I am still off work due to depression and anxiety and am about to leave for my weekly therapists appointment which always helps. The only crappy part is that even though she and my doctor both know I am an alcoholic, they in a way condone my drinkinig (not really as they know it is bad for me) but say that with my severe anxiety disorder it is an easy crutch that they understand and that although I shouldn't drink, until my medication is working at the point that it should be to not take the crutch away if I need it. They say it is like someone with a broken ankle throwing the crutch away too soon - heal the anxiety and then lose the crutch. Problem is sometimes the al deepens the anxiety - what came first, the chicken or the egg? aaaaaaauuuuuuuuggggggghhhhhh.

Anyway, doing okay in July - have drank 2 days out of 12 - not my goal but acceptable considering the severe emotional state that I am in right now. Just going to continue doing what I'm doing. i know I can't drink, it's just so damn easy when it makes the anxiety go away.

I am happy to be off work but at the same time it stresses me out. I am on an unemployment plan, so money is not an issue and I know I need to get my mental self better before I can go back. I don't think I can go back to where I was though - I am not able to handle the stress of that position. I guess I just need to put on my BGP and figure out what I need to do with my life.

Love you guys.
Uni

[universal]

monday 12 July af

Oh yeah, forgot to mention that in my area there is a free al and gaming addiction service and I have an appointment there tomorrow morning for an assessment and group faciliatation. It will be my first one and I am looking forward to it as I am hopeful that it can point me in the right direction for local resources which are not AA (sorry, I know that it is helpful to many but I just am not sure if I believe in the disease philosophy yet). I am hopeful they can help me find some local support! I'll let you know tomorrow how it goes.

[Marshy]

monday 12 July af

Uni - it sounds really unhelpful (to say the least) that your therapist and doc "allow" you to drink. Of course that's going to make you think that somehow it's OK. I've never suffered from anxiety but I noticed that I became much calmer when I stopped drinking. Alcohol exacerbates all these things - anxiety, depression etc - that people think it's helping.

I really hope you get some better help from the addiction service - they know what they are dealing with.

Oh, and I go to AA and don't believe the disease idea (and - don't tell anyone - but loads of other people who go don't believe all sorts of things either) but we like the face-to-face support.

[papmom3]

monday 12 July af

Hi Everyone from hot hot hot New England. I am soooo sick of being hot and sticky!! And running the AC 24/7. I did hold out yesterday until bedtime and then couldn't stand it anymore.

I've been extremely unmotivated today to do anything. I did take one of the dogs on the rail trail this morning but that has been it. I've been on this site, worked through one of my online assignments and watched TV. I should be cleaning out my shed, office, doing dishes, cleaning, laundry etc etc. I'm behaving the sameway I would have on vacation if I was drinking except at least I'm not sick and hungover. Just lazy.

I'm going to my first Smart Recovery meeting tonite to check it out. I signed up for their online forums but they are very weak in participation. I got 2 form letter welcomes from the facilitators and 2 regular welcomes. Very different in mood from here. Oh well-just goes to show you how unique MWO is!! I'll let you know how the meeting goes.

As promised, here are my before and after pond pics. I do love sitting by it in my chaise around 6pm when it's nice and shady. I put the hose onto stream and hook it up so it makes a big arc and then watch Devil Dog drive himself crazy trying to catch the water drops!!

BEFORE



COMPLETED!!

[Lavande]

monday 12 July af

WOW, nice job on the pond papmom

I love the plants too & miss them. When we bought our last house (1985) from an older couple they told us there was a concrete pond there but it had been filled in with dirt. Of course we dug it out & found a completely intact small pond about 4' long, 3' wide. We successfuly raised fish & all the plants until we left there 7 years ago. I've always wondered if the new owners kept it going.

I am a lifelong dog owner & have never owned a cat. Today as I walked down my driveway after emptying my mailbox I heard a kitten meowing his head off. I located him hiding in the hedgerow along the road. Not knowing what else to do I opened a can of tuna & coaxed him out. He looks to be about 6 weeks old but ate the entire can of tuna!!!! He ducked back in the hedgerow when he finished & is sleeping it off now. I can't get in there to reach him because of the thorny bushes & poison ivy. I'll try again tomorrow - better stock up on tuna I guess!

Another of my hens dropped dead today (they tend to just do that). That makes 3 hen deaths this summer.

This has been a strange day so far..........

[papmom3]

monday 12 July af

Hey Lav,
Thanks for the Kudos. It was a tough but fun job and I am sooooo glad it's finished!!
Sounds to me like you just got yourself a new pet. Do it and me a favor and go get some 9 lives or Friskies from the store and use that instead of tuna. People tuna lacks taurine which cats get from moms milk and need all their life. Plus it lacks a ton of nutrients. Better yet, if the kitten is that young, ask your vet what you should be feeding it now. good luck!!

Hens just drop dead? Wow, I never knew that. How odd!! I'm sorry you lost 3 so far but if it's part of the circle of life then I guess you get prepared for it. My friend has sheep and everyonce in a while will find one laying dead in the pasture. I don't know how she deals with it all. She's lost 4 border collies and 1 sheep just this year alone.

Well off to my meeting in a few. Sure wish this heat would go somewhere else. Really sick of it.

[greeneyes]

monday 12 July af

Lavande;909750 wrote: Another of my hens dropped dead today (they tend to just do that)

Does that mean you had chicken for dinner?
Hey you can have my cat to keep yours company!

Papmom!! I am so impressed with your pond!! Greenie wants one!! I really like those 2 shrubs/trees you have behind it.

[greeneyes]

monday 12 July af

M3, getting actively outdoors is always good for me to chase away any bad pookie. Especially the woods. Great plan! I'm envious of your location.

Uni, gee I just don't know what to say about the MDs and the booze. I'm glad you're going to the addiction place ~ look forward to hearing about it.