One Step at a Time - March 2015

[paulywogg]

Hey all, Mama hope that casual drinking environment doesn't get to you,back in the day we used to drink at work just to get a little buzz at the end of the day, luckily that's changed or I would be in a pickle Bird,so sorry about Pouncer, Dots,glad your dad only needed stitches could've been a lot worse, Liz,I can get hair color free at work but things I do with my hair are spur of the moment, reds fade so fast it'll need to be done in a week anyways, tired this afternoon, took a 30 minute nap,feels like 2 hours groggy city! Hi Rusty and Sunni,Nora

[Nursie]

Hi loves,
Lazy day today. Chemo yesterday and the steroids keep me up alllll night so I slept all day today. So tired! Love to all.

[Dottie Belle]

Nursing home called this afternoon to tell me the cut wouldn't stop bleeding so back to the ER for me. They put some surgical glue on it so he couldn't pick at it....whole day lost....I am so tired and hungry. Got the flowers planted at church so that is the only plus to the day.
I know I am strong...always have been but with hubbs I didn't have to be strong all the time. He took some of the heat off me now I am back to doing it all...I can do it I just dont want to.....

[paulywogg]

Don't blame you Dots, you must be exhausted try and rest,hi Nursie dead here tonight, I always think MWO would be hopping on a Saturday night but I guess everyone is living life, I'm too tired to go do anything today, me and Kell are just being bums

[sunshinedaisies]

Morning everyone ! Well - the eyelashes and eyebrows went well - except I was really disappointed with the lashes - I did not realise that mascara actually builds more lash - I always thought that mine were just so blonde that they couldn't be seen - so was disappointed in that - still need to use mascara but LOVE the eyebrows! It makes a HUGE difference in my face ! Quite amazing and yes Liz - it is temporary as, as they grow out the dye will too I suppose so will have to re do them then - but I will keep up with it.

I am feeling a tad better - felt good yesterday except for a few hours in the afternoon - still do not want to drink - this is so weird !! Just really weird ...... Rusty - I am not sure if it is the Nal having worked or if it is 'cos I was feeling poorly - whatever it is, it is weird !!! I mean, I keep thinking about having a drink - but just cannot make myself have one ! The habit is still there but the craving isn't ....if that makes sense?

Dottie - so sorry with what is going on with you and your dad - hope that the superglue works !! It just never stops for you does it ? ((((hugs))))

MB - I agree with Pauly in that I hope the drinking environment doesn't get to you .... please be careful .... and yes Naltrexone is a prescription - but if you even think about trying it, you really need to read the book first - I can send you a link to a PDF copy if you want ....and I had mild nausea as a SE when I first started it but as long as I took it after eating I was fine - but other than that I have had NO SE's at all ..... and the way I see it is that all it is, is taking a pill an hour before you drink EVERY TIME - that is so important - and even if it takes a couple of years, so what - things would not change anyway if I wasn't taking it which is why I am continuing with it .... I really have faith in it !! Some people will say it isn't working and stop it - but what harm does it take to take it anyway - one person on the TSM site has just reached 'cured' but it took 2 years - they thought they were one of those for whom it didn't work - but kept taking the pill anyway - and guess what? They are cured now - can take or leave a drink!! Sorry MB - but you asked !! LOL.....:happy2:

I am working today - so need to get going. Hope everyone has a great day .....

Hugs, Sun XXX

[bird]

Hi all,
Sun, did you get your hair cut too? Glad you like the eyebrows..am a bit intrigued by the nal even though it made me sick before. The only time I haven't wanted to drink is when I was pregnant...........MB, sounds like your work crew might be the wildbunch haha. We all used to drink and smoke pot at work in our 20s, but now we are all old or dead.....Nursie:hug:.....Dottie, glad your Dad got back to the ER. .......Rust, S.C. should be beautiful this time of year....the kids are on spring break..already going through tv dinners like crazy and have hidden all the forks in their beds or somewhere....made a nice flower bed over Pouncer yest. Sure missed her curled up next to me in bed...

[Lizann]

Morning guys. Painted all day yesterday at Erin's. Got a lot done but more to do. Stopped on my way home last night and yes got a bottle. The boys are quite upset with me again. Biggest mistake in the book, I was just so darn tired. Anyway hubs is insisting on coming with me again to the meeting. Any suggestions guys on how he can help me? I just want to try this meeting thing alone so I can open up.Ugh!
Dots, so sorry about your dad. Hubby had to have the head glued too, it works.
Mama, you working today?
Off to lick my wounds people. Wish me luck!

[Lizann]

Bird, I'm actually weepy about pouncer, Lucy is snuggled up against me right now!

[Dottie Belle]

Morning all,
I will call and check on my dad later today. Hope he is having a better day for my sake too.
I am going shopping with a friend later. There are 2 funerals at church this week. I will help shop for the food but I am not ready to do anything else. It is going to take me a while to get back to being active on that committee.
Cold here today. I thought it was supposed to be spring..it is 25 this morning....bbbrrrrrrr
Thanks for reading my rants and whining. Just cant process all this and have it make any sense to me at all.
Bird so sorry about pouncer...

[mama bear]

Bird - are you going to get another kitty? I would.
The drinking at work is so weird to me.....and I am very serious about my employment, so, right now, it's not something I would even consider.
Sun- I can imagine how awesome your eyebrows are....you are so blonde and eyebrows really make your eyes pop....I use a pencil on mine.
Lizz - uh oh.....I think you should be open and honest at meeting and let hubs listen.
The other thing you could check out is an IOP, or intensive outpatient program. There a private group sessions and there is also family night....
I don't really want to take another pill...but I will think about the NAL..
Hey Pauly and Dots

[paulywogg]

Hey all, sorry you drank Liz,how do you feel about that?went to 3 different stores to save some money, it went pretty good Dots, we love listening to you,I love how you're dealing with everything, Bird,some flowers growing over Pouncer is a beautiful way to memorialize, hi Sunni, Mama, the drinking is kinda weird, but whatevs, Winslow got groomed last night so now he's prancing around like a gay show dog haha,enjoy your Sunday peeps

[sunshinedaisies]

Oh Liz - I am so sorry about the bottle .... but feel even worse for you with the family obviously being really upset with you. I hate that they are like that - I so understand it but they just do not have any idea ! Have them walk a mile in your shoes before judging and getting angry - do they really think that you do it just to upset them ? I am so sorry .... as for hubs going to the meeting with you - ask him if he is an alcoholic - and if he says no, then tell him that he does not need to be at the meeting - this is for YOU not him! Something that you need to do on your own. They want you to succeed with this - then explain to them that you need to do it your way! And your way is going to meetings on your own.

Bird - no, I didn't end up having my hair cut - trying to make this short, my daughter said to me that I always cut my hair at times of great stress in my life (when I came to USA, when I had my first child, can't remember what else - two other times), and she said that she knows that I will regret it and that I should wait until life calms down and then in a few months, if I still want to do it, fine! I agree with her really - when other stuff is going on that I have no control over - one thing I CAN control is my hair !! So I have it cut off. LOL So I will leave it for now - I have had the eyebrows etc. done and also bought a lipstick - so that can be enough change for now !

LOVED the thought of the flower bed over Pouncer - lovely !!! And yes, get another cat but maybe not quite yet! Wait and see what turns up - you never know ! How are the girls handling the loss of Pouncer ?

MB - do you want me to send you the link for the Eskapa book re the Nal ? I made myself have a drink today - I took the Nal because I knew I was going to have a drink - and made myself have one. Didn't really want it - but the whole thing has been surreal so I decided that I was going to have one ! And have had one - and am not having another!

Pauly - you made me laugh saying about how Winslow is prancing round after being groomed ! Lovely !

Hugs to all, Sun XX

[Lizann]

Thanks guys you are the best. House is squeaky clean and I'm off to the blanket fort!

[mama bear]

Sun - I don't want the link just yet, but I may ask for it later.
The flowers on Pouncer sound sweet. I am so sorry for your loss.
Dottie - you are doing great. I just wish there was more we could do. I CAN tell you that you not drinking has inspired me....A LOT.
Hang in there Lizz....I know it's frustrating, but your family loves you.
Coffee, shower then off to work
Hope your gay doggie is happy Pauly! :-)

[bird]

Hi all
Gonna be late for work. Slept in since the kids are off. Had been off the ab a few and drank a lot of beer last night and was so tired from all the mess with Pouncer and working in the yard. Being tired is a huge trigger for me...Lizann it sounds like it is for you too. Maybe you could just tell hubs you want to go by yourself, that you know he is trying to help but you need to go alone.....Pauly, I guess Winslett likes to get groomed huh?....Dottie, you are holding up well. We are here to listen.....Sun, you are doing great on the Nal. How is the nausea?...good on keeping the hair....MB have fun at work....we are not getting another pet. I only have 1 more year of kids home and then I would like to move from this place and get out of this job and hopefully have some sobriety under my belt by then. We do have the 2 chickens but are not as attached and you can't even pick up the rooster....anyway