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[JackieClaire]

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Hi PM,
I think we're just getting the storm up North now. It's hissing down. Yep you must be feeling very tired after going through your ordeal.I was thinking about a frined who went through the same thing and for some reason he saw Elvis. Trouble is my friend's still drinking.

Don't think your selfish at all Pompey for sharing , many people here are still struggling and it will be of real help to follow your journey.

We'll try and come up with a plan to help you with your last day at work, perhaps while you have the laptop you can have a look for any libraries or internet cafes where you can log on. here.
J x
:l

[pompeyman]

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lease:thanks everyone ..... went to a lunchtime AA meeting today ...... everyone really supportive .... met up with a fellow addict in town turns out he is doing a degree yet he has a severe difficulty with dyslexia ..... offered to support him with my ed psych background ...... an additional focus to add to my list of activities ...... no mama no chance of job back i resigned during a bad period last year ... they are grateful they didnt have to go down disciplinary route ...... + will be more positive when i am ready to apply for work again ..... have got all the benefit forms .... will fill in tom .... worked it out i will just be able to survive for a while as i focus on my recovery ...... it is time for me to make this the centre of my life ...... or for the first time i realise i will have no life to focus on ........ being locked in that hospital room on meds was the equivalent of the old timers in the bb being strapped down in sanatoriums ....... i truely believe i have reached a life or death situation in my drinking ...... i wouldnt wish some of those hallucinations on anyone .... putting your hands over your ears to stop the imaginary voices going on at you in the middle of the night ....... thinking you are being followed around all day .... coordination gone so you cant climb stairs even tho you havent had a drink for 48 hours ..... scaring nurses and fellow patients because of the things you are saying and doing rolling around on a hospital floor ...... vomiting green bile as there is nothing left in your body ..... not even being able to keep a mouthful of water down ........ not being able to see your children ..... a mother dying of liver cancer who refuses to see me before she dies .... abandoned by friends ....... dont get me wrong i am not feeling sorry for myself or blaming anyone but myself ...... it is down to me and AL ..... no guys ...... this has been no fun ....... no fun at all ..... those of you that havent reached this stage yet ........ get support/strength to stop now ..... please ........ PM ..... day 10 AF x

[spuddleduck]

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keep it up pompeyman. its great to hear your progress. payday..well as its your last one you should enjoy it.... NOT BY POISONING YOURSELF. could you treat yourself to a little something, something special to remind yourself of your commitment, or just something you can enjoy sober. i was actually thankful that i wasnt working while i was trying to get my head round being sober... it gave me time for ME. i could rest or sleep if i was tired and had no pressure to be anywhere at any particular time. for me it was what i needed, im now working part-time and things are working out. i just couldnt have coped with a new job at that time. im sure things will work out for you. be determined.. YOU CAN DO THIS. keep posting and fighting the fight. THIS IS YOUR TIME!

[pompeyman]

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Thankyou ..... spuddle ......... I am sure you are right this IS my time x

[pompeyman]

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lllllll

[pompeyman]

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Cant sleep tonight ........ having a nice "English" cup of tea!! There is a really good radio show called "Up all night" on BBC Radio 2 GMT 12 midnight until 4 am streamed on net if anyone is interested .... on each weekday ..... book reviews, world, sports, politics news etc etc if any one is interested/insomniac .... some funny items too ......... gives a good snapshot of life here in old Blighty and the world for e.g. article now on about brutal attacks occuring in Sudan ...... they interview BBC correspondants reporting from the world over ..... sleep tight PM x

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[rubywillow]

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Pompey, I'm so sorry how desparate your condition has fallen. It HAS to be a change, or you will die from this. I'm sorry it's not sugar-coated, but it's the truth.
Aside from being sober, every day, TRY very hard to see your mum. It's a big thing. I don't say this lightly. I was drinking when both my parents were sick and dying. One of my biggest regrets, but I don't dwell on regrets, just remember what I've done wrong, and move forward. But if there's ANY chance now, at the end, you can see her, it's worth it. I don't know your family dynamics, so I apologize for being intrusive. But there ARE no other parents. There IS no other chance. To show up sane, sober, may be what she needs now.
Again, I'm sorry for meddling. But I've spent 10 years with the regrets of what I did wrong when my parents were dying. I'd just like to save you from that. Here for you, no more preaching, I swear.

[Rags]

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Hang in there Pompey.

[Sunnyvalenting]

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I was finally able to recover with baclofen. Good luck on your recovery. I believe your will power is enhanced by the motivation of those frightening withdrawal hallucinations. Use every tool they give you. Medication, will power, meetings. I think meetings can be especially helpful when you live alone. It gives you a certain amount of social accountability. I hope you get into the intensive outpatient program soon.
Sunny

[pompeyman]

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again thankyou for all your latest advice .... regarding my mum ruby .... i am listenening to the advice of my sister at the moment .... i did go and just turn up and saw my mum unannounced in pompey a few weeks ago ..... she just ranted at me ... because of my past AL driven behaviour and my sister tells me it did her more harm than good ..... it is a hard call ...... but i think i need to think about my mums current needs and i will have to live with any consequences ..... i am in contact with my sister and it is a situation i /we continually review ..... enjoy today PM

[spuddleduck]

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pompey, maybe you could write a short letter to your mum..as an introduction to the new you. hope you have a good day

[pompeyman]

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thanks spud a good suggestion ...... will put it past my sis x

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

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How are you feeling today Pompy?

[pompeyman]

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hi ktab just had a nice cool shower its 6pm here and am off to a DAA meeting .... dont know why but many DAA (Drug Addicts Anon) fellows seem more approachable than some members whose only main focus is alcohol .... perhaps there is a wider base of addtictive behaviours and solutions to draw on ....... still ...... early days ....... there seems to be a focus on additicive behaviour generally with more generic soutions/tools which appear to cross over many types of addictive substances. Hope you are having a good day ...... have had a productive day have done and submitted all paperwork for housing benefit and job sekers allowance for when my last pay cheque runs out at end of sept ....... feeling much more serene and gone back to reading BB big time ..... have a fantastic evening ... PM .... we are playing palace tonight ....... PUP (play up pompey!!) x

[pompeyman]

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just returned from the DAA meeting mentioned in previous post ...... a wide range of people there with a range of drug addictions including alc, coke, heroin, speed ......... each person begins their share with .... "my name is .......... and im an addict ..." most the talked generically about their experiences and how they have recovered/are recovering ... some reveal their drug of use others choose not to .... i was made to feel incredibly welcome and there was a different "feel" to most AA meetings i have attended ...... my temp sponsor's main drug of choice has not been alc but he has no problem sponsoring me ...... an alcoholic ......... i really am going to give this group a go ....it is based on the AA 12 step programme ..... when reading from the BB the word alc is replaced by "drug" and "alcoholic" by "addict" ....... uk web site is

Drug]www.drugaddictsanonymous.org.uk/]Drug Addicts Anonymous U.K.

About DAA
Drug Addicts Anonymous is a fellowship of men and women who once suffered from a hopeless addiction to mood altering substances.

We have recovered by using the Alcoholics Anonymous basic text, and have found it so useful that we have decided to use it in our meetings. We are grateful to the AA fellowship for showing us the way to a new life and we follow the same path with a single exception: our identification as addicts includes any mood changing substance.

Drug Addicts Anonymous started in Sweden in 1997. The fellowship in the UK started around April of 2009. We currently have meetings in London and Plymouth, and have already had the pleasure of meeting together to establish our fellowship.

If you would like to start your own DAA meeting you are welcome to contact us for guidance.