who am i?

[Guitarista]

who am i?

Yo Pauly,

Just dropping in to say hiya.

All the best with Campral. Have a great week friend.

G.

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Thanks Mr.G

[treetops]

who am i?

Hi Pauly - well done on taking the Campral plunge. Sounds like Alky might be a good source of advice. Det mentioned some sort of rehab - but I don't know if it was IOP or IP. Since I live in a country where such rehab is pretty much non-existent I can't advise. But I have kept suggesting to you that a support group with face-to-face and/or counseling might really help esp when you get near your messy time. Even if its someone else to moan to or scream at -it can't hurt. I know $$$ are an issue - so I hope the devious minds on MWO have some suggestions.
We are all cheering you on - but sweetie this is for you, not for us (although we want you to be happy!).

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Thanks TT,the clinic i go to has an addiction counselor,maybe i'll get an appointment with him,tried AA but some of the men were overly friendly,if you get my drift,don't need that mess,i could try and find a meeting in a better part of town,but i'm lazy and hate driving far,i'll see what happens

[K9Lover]

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Hi Pauly!
How is the Campral going? I tried it years and years ago...it worked pretty well but it didn't scare me straight like Antabuse does!

[paulywogg]

who am i?

Hey K9,so far o.k,took 1 pill at breakfast and 2 pills at lunch,will take the other 2 here in a bit,it does deter me from drinking just because i read it makes hangovers 10 times worse,plus i know after it kicks in fully it makes it harder to get a buzz

[treetops]

who am i?

Glad all is well Pauly. Why don't you make an appointment with the counsellor.
Maybe try out a women's only AA meeting - there must be one in Vegas. Or is there a Women for Sobriety group? You might be better off with that kind of support because your female body cycle is also an issue for you I think. You could just try a meeting even if you have to drive a distance and then if you like it - you never know -you might be able to hook up with someone to share driving.
You have us but the face to face aspect can be crucial. If you find a good counsellor their job should also be to get you in contact with the right group.

And get your hubby sorted too about his health issue. He must see to this.

[treetops]

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I know what you mean about some of the predators that can frequent some AA meetings. That's so hypocritical. But there are lots of good people too. I am a great believer in women helping each other too

[Alky]

who am i?

The women's meetings are a good idea. I have a female friend who was starting to get stalked by someone from AA.

As far as an IOP goes, there's got to be tons in Vegas. Maybe your counselor can help you find one, then see if they take your insurance. Get a personal recommendation, though, so you end up at a good treatment center.

[paulywogg]

Wasn't sure if I should blow the dust off this thread or start a new one like Mr.G did with his comeback? Oh well, there's too many threads anyways so here I am,ok,on fucking day 7 AGAIN, how many more day 7's? How many more lies can I tell myself?and how many more excuses can I make? I'm incredulous that this is even happening, I thought my last quit was THE last,I felt so confident, then one day I wasn't, and I let one bad day pull me down for a few worse days,what an asshole! Then I got sick with a cold and what do I do?drink to try and feel better, that just sounds stupid, this last week has been the worst withdrawal feeling too,usually by day 5 I feel better, this time it's lingering, my new plan,defo exercise more,I ordered amoryn,continue EPO cuz even though it gives me mild anxiety, it helps me with cravings, figure out a way to sleep more hours, not take any cold/congestion meds,declutter my house, cut caffeine(waaaah!!!!)not all,but defo some cuz I tend to over do it,post on my threads I like at least twice a day, be aware of sober things that make me happy, such as hanging with hubs, Brady,sweet little Louie, write in my journal, use beer money to pay down bills, try to use e-cig instead of the real thing, when I have a bad day pop an antabuse and give Brady my car keys and go to my room!!!!!!!

[paulywogg]

Two things on my plan aren't going to work EPO makes me too anxious, don't know why? I've googled and read that some people get that reaction, some get it from flax too,meh,sleep sucks, need caffeine to get through my day,vicious cycle, was up at 1:30 and Brady and his buddies were playing poker in the garage, oh to be young hubs and I were laughing that the kids stay up all nite and we on the other hand cling to sleep, btw,did get an appointment with the addiction counselor for next Wednesday, ought to be interesting

[Alex27]

Welcome back pauly, hope everything's gonna be fine.

[paulywogg]

Thanks Alex

[paulywogg]

Day 20 something, too lazy to check, trying not to think about it cuz I know when I hit 30 my mind will play tricks on me anyways, I have been preoccupied with drinking thoughts this morning, a new liquor store is opening around the block,in Vegas that means nothing anyways but early this morning I was taking a walk and seen the sign up and I dunno, my mind started wandering, came home and laid down and was in a half awake/ half dream state and I dreamt I was drunk,it gave me the creeps! I seen the addiction counselor on Wednesday and I really like him,he acts like he gives a shit about helping me stay quit, he's one of us but has been sober for 22 years after 5 duis,2 wrecks and a 6 month blackout period that he remembers nothing( which his family is kind enough to remind him of stuff) I wish I would have gone sooner, but I heard the name Dan,and imagined some young,social drinker,looking down his nose at me telling me to "grow up" or "get it together dummy" I dunno, I was scared of being preached to, he's cool cuz he talks like a helpful friend, wants hubs to come to an appointment cuz he is an enabler, doesn't mean to be but he's a "normie" just don't get it counselor also thinks Michelle is a trigger, I agree, he also thinks I have some PTSD from being sexually abused at 7 by my biological father, asked if I've ever been suicidal, I said yes when drinking, but when I'm sober I'm happy for my life,I love my routine and getting things done, working a busy day,getting bills paid, organizing the house, watching Louie, hanging with hubs, everything just sort of flows how I want it to right now, he asked if I have friends, I said just co-workers, he asked if I hang with them out of the salon, I said no cuz we used to but they're partiers,he asked what percentage of them,I said 100%,stranstrange cuz he said "I don't think you know who you are" and I thought he's a mindreader cuz I don't!! To start drinking at 32,have a 6,10;11 and 13 year old and be a daily drinker,a HEAVY daily drinker(daily drunk) is a whole different life, now I have a 16-24 year kids,hubs has grey hair, I'm 41, I'm a GRANDMOTHER, it's a whole different world, I basically need to relearn how to live again I think?just feels weird and it feels like I've been trying for too long,making it too hard,meh,I wish I never would have started

[Spiritfree]

HI Pauly -wow, thanks for this post -I really needed to read this today. It is my guess that many of us here are needing or trying to 'learn how to live' (again). For me, I am trying how to learn to live -without thinking, acting, and knowing as I did in my former days. In others word, I want to build a life that is totally different than what existed in the past. None of this would have been possible had I still been drinking.

And day 20 something!!! Perfect. Day 20+/- is a day that you don't have to drink (but you certainly can -obviously). You already know the routine and you already know that your brain is out to get a piece of your arse. So hang in there Pauly. As you may remember, life gets so much better with each passing AL free day. Peace to ya.

SF