Anyone in the First Week of Their Unpteenth Quit?

[paulywogg]

Hello friends, been having mild drinking thoughts lately, kind of the euphoric recall they talk about, kinda freaks me out and it's irritating as hell,I wonder if it's cuz I've stopped/started so many times my brain is confused, just thinking out loud, hello to all, hope we all have a good day

[Lizann]

I spoke to hubby this morning. He wants to continue going with me as he needs to "know" the 12 steps to help me. He agreed to let me go alone, if I share with him what happened afterward. I agreed. He is going to hold me to every step, which scares me some.
Thanks for your input guys, I appreciate it more than you know. Check back in later.

[Ginger999]

Hi Liz, I know nothing about AA but my common sense tells me that your hubby doesn't need to go with you to the meetings. I'd think the meeting leaders and other members wouldn't like having a non-member sitting in either. Seems like your hubby needs to learn how to deal with your drinking from his own angle by attending Alanon meetings and let you find your own sobriety. I know he's doing this from a place of love but it just seems off to me. His knowing the 12 steps won't/can't make you do them. Hope it works for the both of you though. I truly do.

Had bad news at Mom's doc appt yesterday for her shoulder. It's bothered her in the past but since starting therapy it's gotten pretty unbearable at times. Last week she had an MRI and we met with the doc yesterday only to find that the humerus bone has a closed fracture, the rotator cuff is torn and the labrium is torn. They think this damage was caused when she fell and broke her leg because she held on tight to the railing as she went down. Now she can't do any PT with that arm, which mean she won't be able to do much of anything and will probably lose a lot of what she's gained these past two months. I'm on a quest today to try and figure out what we can do to keep her strong. We were getting so close to getting the cast off that leg. Now I'm not sure what will happen.

Oh and did I mention that my hubby has to have rotator cuff surgery in the next couple of weeks? Yep! When it rains it pours! So glad I DON'T DRINK!! And so glad you are all here! Even when I don't post, I'm checking in and reading from my phone. Love you guys!!

[Chief]

Hi Everyone....just checking in. Today's my day off and wanted to work outside in my yard but it's cold and spitting snow. Tuesday it was in the 60's.....springtime in Ohio! Oh well, I have a lot of errands I can run. I need to buy a new riding lawnmower and have been researching on the internet. I'm looking at Husqvarna, John Deere, and Cub Cadet. They're all similar but I don't want to make a mistake. I'm going to go look at them all today.

I love reading the posts and seeing everyone living their lives, going through the ups and downs, and wanting to make the right decisions. That's what it's all about. Liz, I'm thinking about you and I'm glad you're posting and trying AA. We should explore all the options to find what works. We're all different. The important thing is you're in the game, wanting to fix this thing. Open Halo, ah the old "maybe I can have just a couple" scenario.....haven't we all been there? It never works. Drinking 0 or 12 is easy. Drinking 2 is impossible. That's just the way we're wired. Pauly, It's good to see you're thinking about your thinking. That's important to be successful in this journey. The Beast will always try and trick us by putting those "good thoughts" about drinking into our heads. When that happens to me I immediately think and say to myself, "Yea, but what about the nasty hangover, the nasty taste in my mouth the next morning, the guilt, the uneasy feeling because I know deep down I don't want to drink but I let myself down.....and on and on". When I do that it shuts The Beast right up because there is no rebuttal for that. BG, Cowboy... you guys are doing great. I'm glad. And Ginger, I think about you often....just know that. You're doing a good job with your mom. We're all giving you our support.

Well, time to go get some things done. Have a good day and enjoy your AFness!

Don

[Spiritfree]

Hi everyone. I have just now started reading this thread. After a year and a half, one would have thought that I would have at least creeped on at least once. Well, I have and did not and that is disappointing but its never too late to start. From what little I have read so far, this thread seems to be place where one can be openly honest with his/her opinions and be supported therein.

I am glad I started really 'reading' this support thread -today.

[Ginger999]

Hi SF, I've seen you around mwo. Welcome to our humble thread. Glad you are here.

[paulywogg]

Hi Spirit, yes our thread is humble kinda dead today, where is everyone? My mom text me yesterday, was gonna ignore it as I sometimes do but I text back and she told me she was sloshed, this was at 6:30 pm,I told her ass to go to bed that's the only reason I ignore her sometimes, she seems to only want to chat when drinking, I understand I did the same, but I don't want to deal with her like that, but she's mom and I love her regardless, sorry about your mom's shoulder problem Ginger, sheesh always something, hope everyone has a nice Friday

[Lizann]

Really Pauly? If I might be so bold to ask about your relationship with your mom? What was it like for you, would you be angry or embarrassed? I wonder my kids take on me sometimes. Scares the crap outta me, truth be told. Still at work, leaving in a few minutes. I'll check in later.

[Spiritfree]

So I'm back from the meeting. Hubby insisted on coming along. The people there were really nice. One guy came up to me afterward, while hubby was in the bathroom, he was very encouraging and is appreciated that. I am hoping hubby will let me go alone next week. Kinda doubt it though.
Ok so now that I have consumed the topic for the last 24 hours, how is everyone else?

Hi LizA - I know that I am new to this thread but I did want to comment on your AA situation. Please don't shoot me or throw stones at me, but I do not blame your husband one iota. However, if you were attending a women's only meeting, that would be different. The fact that you are attending an open AA meeting -where there exists -like it or not - many who are not there for the sole purpose of getting sober can be quite difficult. I spent almost 7 years in AA and I am very familiar with the process -unfortunately.

LizA -this is a very important topic. People need to know what they might be getting themselves into. There are a lot of good people in AA and there are a lot of people who attend whose motives don't coincide with sobriety. I am thankful that my wife does not drink and that she does not have to go to AA. With my experience in AA, AA would not be an option for her. But then again, all AA groups are not alike.

[abcowboy]

Hi everyone! I had a big long post done this morning, then the darn auto-logoff timed me out! When I signed back in and restored, only a third was there, so I figured I would just repost tonight...so here is the bit from this morning..

Howdy everyone, quite a day for me yesterday. Got to like the days when the good news is better than the bad news! I had my truck in for servicing yesterday morning and also to have them check the rear differential as it was starting to make a howling noise. Now you have to remember that my truck is my work, without it, I can't get to my jobs and all my tools are in it. It is a 2012, and it already has 180,000 km's on it (about 100,000 miles) and all of the driving is fairly heavy loads, trailers, etc. Turns out the differential needs about $2500.00 worth of repairs! So it had to stay in the truck hospital and they will hopefully have it ready to go by tonight. They gave me a loaner truck to use so I had to transfer a bunch of tools so that I could continue working. If this would have happened a year ago, I would have had some king of a hangover, got mad, traded in my old truck and bought a new one! Good thing I was clear headed and made the right decision. Now the good news is that our farm neighbour called and asked if I was busy today. I explained about not having a truck to work with, so he said perfect! You can help us sort cattle. Yippee-ki-yay I get to be a cowboy today!

There was a bunch more, but in hindsight, I got to read back and can go from here!

Liz, I had made the same comments Ginger and Spirit said! If it was an "open" AA meeting, then hubby has a right to be there, but he shouldn't be attending the "closed" meetings. He should be looking at Al-Anon as a way to help himself and you... I couldn't get into the whole sponsor and 12 step thing, and as a matter of fact, this mornings AA Daily Reflection stated that you are under no pressure to get a sponsor and work the Steps, take what you need and leave the rest!

Pauly, 17 days is great, now, you just keep pestering us to help you get past that 5 week mark! You can do it and we can help!

OH, how's things going? Back on track and smooth sailing?

BG, thanks for the sunshine! Things are finally starting to dry up!

Chief, a new jeep and riding lawnmower?? Putting that overtime money to good use! Bubba and I each have a Husqvarna 42", but when it comes time for us to replace them, I'll definitely go Cub Cadet!

Ginger, you need an umbrella to shed all the bad luck you're having! You are simply amazing to get through all this without thinking of drinking again! Sounds like you've had more than your share of family issues! On the bright side, it could be worse, you could be trying to cope with the problems while nursing a hangover!

Spirit, Welcome to the quitters! You are not accountable to any one of us, just to yourself. It is a smaller group here, but we never judge, just be here to support each other. I like that the thread doesn't move too fast, gives me lots of time to read back and absorb all the comments.

There, all caught up! My cowboy day was fantastic! Working with the cattle made me realize how much I missed it! I told Corey to give me a call whenever he needed a hand. And my truck is sitting back in the driveway all ready for Monday morning. Although my wallet sure feels light lol. Friday night, quiet night at home, just like most of my nights, and I LIKE IT! Tomorrow morning will find me at Café MWO, so join me if you want! Stay straight and strong my friends!

[Lizann]

Spirit, thanks for the FYI. I think I understand what you are eluding to. I feel a bit naive, to say the least. My family thinks this is important for me, it is affiliated with a church. I will rethink this whole 12 step thing. I have heard a lot more negative than positive about it and I didn't want to do it in the first place.
Cowboy, sorry about the truck but sounds like you had a good day! You'll sleep good tonight, I think.
Went shopping with hubby, and my son. He needs a new suitcase for his trip. It was a fun evening. My oldest came over for a bit too . Now CJ (the middle one ) is home and her boyfriend is here. Love my kids!
So I will try and be on in the morning. Going to our oldest daughters house to paint tomorrow. She still needs us!
Have a good night guys. Thanks for all the info/support! Another AF night for me!

[paulywogg]

There you are Cowboy sounds like a good day for you(except the light wallet) Liz,I guess I have a love/hate relationship with my mom,she is a funny person to be around most of the time but sometimes when she's drunk she gets mean, she'll never stop drinking, doesn't want to, says because we're Native American it's in the blood, I really don't care anymore and I think she'd be a miserable person if she quit, a dry drunk for sure,however I worry about her,she's 64 and thinks she's 19,you can only party like that for so long I dunno, her dad drank every day too lived to be 81,I just gave up on ever having a"normal"mom,just accept her for who she is and ignore her texts sometimes haha,were gonna go visit this summer and I'll do as I always do,get a motel room and leave when she starts getting crazy, also I wanted to say please don't get discouraged about going to the meetings, try it for a bit at least, please? Hope everyone has a lovely evening

[Chief]

Well, as some of you know, we have a 5 year old grandson. My son and DIL have been thinking about having another baby. Last Friday my DIL went to the doctor because she thought she was pregnant. They confirmed that she was about 10 weeks pregnant. We were all very happy. Today she went for her first ultrasound.......she's having TWINS!!!!!!

We're all just beside ourselves!.......although I'm not real sure how my grandson feels about this.....lol.

We better start stocking up on diapers.......

[abcowboy]

Congratulations Grandpa Don!

[Lizann]

Congratulations chief! How exciting is that! Have I mentioned I am a twin? I have an older sister and I'll be honest, I think it was difficult for her. Ellen and I always got the attention (oh how cute!) and we always were so much closer. Do you live close by?
Pauly, thanks for the post. Have you found the meetings to be helpful?
Off to paint at Erin's house in a bit. We are all going, should be a fun day. We always have a good time when the five of us are together.
Had some darn drinking dreams last night, woke up relieved that I hadn't drank, but nonetheless disturbing!
Happy Saturday!