International Army October 2020

[brit]

Re: International Army October 2020

Mr A much the same still hanging on. I am very tired but so lucky I have three great daughters who remember all we did for them as parents and are paying it back in spades.
One daughter is a great nurse and hopefully here until Christmas. Youngest daughter doing all our cleaning etc. Oldest daughter doing nice food.
Glad to be sober through this difficult time. If he went back into hospital there would be no visiting and he would maybe die alone. I will try my best to stay strong!

[JackieClaire]

Re: International Army October 2020

[MENTION=22839]brit[/MENTION].......good to see you, our Whizzy. :hug: S0 glad you've got your girls there.

[MENTION=15758]rustop59[/MENTION].........a mop head, you extravangent woman.



Nighty night lovellies. :hug:

[IamMary]

Re: International Army October 2020

[MENTION=22839]brit[/MENTION], you have both raised 3 wonderful women and they have an amazing Mam :hug:

How are things [MENTION=24564]Anjicia[/MENTION]? the weekend can be a bit challenging just cos its called the weekend.

I do remember Mario [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION] - he came across as a lovely man, your lucky to have met him.
What do you think you'll do with Bess's ashes? Hold onto them or scatter them somewhere?

Meeting my folks for a walk tomorrow - its too busy in skerries for them, so they'll come here. But technically we cant all go, its a max of 6 from 2 households, but I can still run in a group of 15 :hmms:

Just finished watching The trial of the Chicago 7 on Netflix. Really good.

[fickle]

Re: International Army October 2020

Hello Army,

Apologies in advance for long post as have not said much in a while.

Sending a belated condolences to dear [MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION] for the loss of her darling Bess and hope your grief is easing a little :hug:

[MENTION=22839]brit[/MENTION] you are amazing to have done the marathon in the midst of everything. You are truly an inspiration to me :hug: I hope your dear MrA is bearing up and I'm so glad you have your wonderful daughters with you. It is hard to come to terms with our own mortality. I don’t want to be morbid but our modern western attitude towards death is all wrong. We could learn from the Japanese philosophy of wabi sabi which is all about appreciation of impermanence. Sooner or later everyone goes, the advantage of terminal illness is having time to reflect with gratitude on our lives and plan a good death, as opposed to a sudden demise leaving loved ones shocked and traumatised. I went through the latter with my brother who died very young from cancer related brain hemmorage and in hindsight I realise how unprepared we all were, in spite of the fact he had cancer for some time. I wish we had done things differently to prepare our younger family members for his passing so they could look back on that time with peace in their hearts.

[MENTION=11089]techie[/MENTION] prayers for you dear friend :hug: October is also a favourite month for me as it brings the rain and Spring begins bursting forth here. I can relate to your sock sorting as I am about to go through all my old clothes which I put in a ‘safe place’ years ago. I’ve lost so much weight I need a new wardrobe. Am finding things I put aside 20 years ago that are beautiful, still with the tags on that I had long since given up ever fitting in-to. Gosh I was a terrible shopper, buying things in sales dreaming I would fit when I got thinner. Sad I can’t give my fat clothes away now - due to Covid restrictions they’ve taken away all the Opportunity Shop donation bins.

[MENTION=9170]byebyebridgetjones[/MENTION] I can relate to your family dramas. While away I caught up with my brother, SIL turning 60 and my niece. 2 days of partying where everyone was drinking non stop to the point of apologizing following day for not remembering anything. It was a very interesting experience for me because for example at boozy lunch I kept almost picking up the wine glass from habit, but I felt no desire whatever for the wine due to my having quit sugar. Just had to keep reminding myself that’s not my glass haha. Fortunately, after checking with the waitress there would be no sugar in it, I was able to order fancy mocktail instead and had a lovely time.

Again, at party I observed the tiny little voice in my brain which kept saying ‘you should have a drink and join in the fun’ as if I wasn’t already enjoying myself. It was a little voice and I was able to treat it like a little anxious toddler with my more adult mind and just soothe it, not act on it. It was relentless however and I realised in the past I would have been worn down by it. That is because in the past I had the wrong belief that it was inevitable that one day I would pick up a drink so why not now. This time I patiently let the little voice go on, wondering at its persistence and thought now that I know about how the brain works I don’t need to act on it.

Following morning (un-hungover) I caught up with my niece who has got a new apartment, very tiny but hers alone which is so important. It also has a tiny balcony looking on to trees so I whisked off to Bunnings and bought her some lovely fast growing flowering vines and potted everything up in a big terracotta pot. We have had a bit of distance between us for some years due to some of her lifestyle choices and my wanting to protect my kids from that. It meant such a lot for us to spend that time together and re-connect. She is so precious to me and since then I have been following her Instagram as she adds to her garden and proudly posts pictures of latest acquisitions.

[MENTION=11158]stirly-girly[/MENTION] thank you for sharing your beautiful paintings which are also a wonderful inspiration to me. I spent some time doing colouring in on a yoga retreat recently and reflected on how discouraging were my art teachers in the past. Just the experience of putting colour on paper was so therapeutic I can’t imagine how long I have survived without doing it.

[MENTION=8529]mollyka[/MENTION] I am hoping you are feeling better. Have you tried magnesium? It is worth a shot – many of your symptoms sound like you might benefit from it.

[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION] Thank you for the Netflix suggestions I am putting My Octopus Teacher, The Social Dilemma and Chicago 7 on my watchlist.

[MENTION=21798]Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)[/MENTION] likewise thank you for the Monty Don article and I have found Imelda May’s Slip of the Tongue on Spotify

[MENTION=24564]Anjicia[/MENTION] AKA Foxy whether you are an oldie or a newbie welcome to this thread and Congratulations on your AF days. You are doing so well and I’m enjoying your posts on your progress. I found a lot of modern understanding about addiction introduced to me in a book by Catherine Gray called The Unexpected Joy of Being Sober which is available as an audiobook. It gave me new ways of thinking and the keys to success. I literally made a list of all the reading she suggested and it made all the difference to me.

[MENTION=9094]satz123[/MENTION] I have heard you talk before about those horrible people. I hope termination of the contract with the nursing home does not mean that lady will be returned to her abusive family. Is it possible you could find her an advocate to manage things for her best interests? I have heard about such people who specialise in elder abuse.

I just want to say to everyone that I love this thread and am extremely grateful for everyone’s input. As [MENTION=7261]Guitarista[/MENTION] has reminded me before "Before enlightenment, chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment, chop wood, carry water." The fact that we all talk about our every day lives is such a tonic to me, sharing in all the big and small triumphs and tribulations that our lives are made up of. Its so important to be able to chime in and out as our lives are busy, then not so busy. Much appreciation to you all.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: International Army October 2020

Hope you are all as well as can be expected. [MENTION=4040]fickle[/MENTION] I can relate to just about everything you've said there.

Brit I'm thinking of you, because sadly that's all I can do to help. Again, I am so glad that you have those girls of yours, and that they are the type to put others first when necessary.

It's Sunday morning and I've decided that I need to have a thinking day. Not a bad thing, nothing wrong, no drinking thoughts except that it is now too late for my friend Richard - his damage is permanent and he may as well drink himself to death now. God I hope there are some lurkers seeing this.

I've let other things take over from my regular thinking days and that's very dangerous for folk like us. We've got to be very proactive and mindful or we may be blind-sided.

I just toasted the bun JC!

[Tabbers (a.k.a. KTAB)]

Re: International Army October 2020

Morning all, any pearls of wisdom have abandoned me for now. Just to say I am glad we have each other here and can post when we need to 'hear' a friendly word, as has been the case over the past few days here with some of our friends.

KTAB how is the garden?

Maturing nicely Bridge, bit like myself harhar.

Its eleven years today that I flew over to Belfast to meet up with Mario & Opal at the Europa hotel.

I would had added another two years at least to that JC, blimey I have been here on and off for a longgggg time, think the penny would have finally dropped...

Off to do something useful not like chop wood or some other manly activity.

[JackieClaire]

Re: International Army October 2020

Morning and waves to the undies and over the pond,
[MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION].............we;re holding on to the ashes. I've still got Dylan's............she'll go in the wardrobe beside him for now. The grand plan is to scatter them with mine and Mr. JC's ashes eventually................hopefully that's a way off. We haven't made up our minds where yet .............macabre stuff for a Sunday.

[MENTION=4040]fickle[/MENTION].............thank you.
Very early on I was given an eyeopener. A colleague of Mr. JC turned 60 about a three weeks into my sobriety. It was one of those can't avoid/get out of. Did the arrive late and leave early plan in place. Anyway got there the food was out and there was a woman about my age absolutely shit-faced ...........for wont of a better word......... on the dance floor by herself with her near full wine glass sloshing it all over the place. She then dropped the glass and continued to dance in the broken glass and wine sloshed all over...................it wasn't so much her it was her children begging her to sit down, her turning nasty and demanding her rights to do what she wanted. Tbh it made me think of my past behaviour. Looking at her grown up children's made me think of what I'd put mine through, how embarassed they were on my behalf............and I just thought I just can't do that to either of them ever again.
So I haven't.

Didn't sleep at all well last night. It was/is so cold. Winter duvet being put on as I type.

:hug::hug: where needed.

[mollyka]

Re: International Army October 2020

morning -- last night WAS cold -- having a bit of a duvet tussle at the moment -- unusually - I'm happy with the lighter one with a small wee quilt thrown over the piggies - but Joe wants the big heavy winter one -- I find it so heavy that it wakes me up when I try to turn over... so yeah - it IS that time of year alright.

Facing a potential national lockdown here -- figures in Norn Iron were/are horrendous -- same as our own down here but we have over 3 times their population - but it sure as hell isn't going in the right direction.

Gorgeous sunny autumn day here --- windows all open and did a wee wander in the garden -- parked now on couch -- decided that any christmas shopping that needs to be done is going to be done online -- end of.... just NOT going to get enraged by those muppets with their noses out in Swords again

Not much news here -- still cranky with my sprogs so for their own sakes I hope no one is 'dropping in' --- roast beef for dinner --- excited!!!

Tabbers -- doesn't matter whether it's a day or a decade -- it'll come if you want it badly enough -- and we are ALL but an elbow bend away from 'that' place... our pal on the plane to Spain -- jesus -- Joe met him yesterday coming out of Spar -- he said he looks about 80 (he's only in his 50's I think) -- and he's 'lost' his car --- it could be parked anywhere - it could be crashed - feck knows where it is or what he has done... I cannot emphasise how sensible sound fun and intelligent this man was -- it is tragic -- I would love to grab hold of him and beat some sense into him.... yeah -- that'd work:eek-new:

[stirly-girly]

Re: International Army October 2020

Hallo Army!

A quick fly-by from me to wish you all a great day!

[MENTION=22839]brit[/MENTION]- so glad your family has all come together to get through this difficult time. You are blessed to have such great girls but we all know that they wouldn't be that caring if they hadn't been raised with love and respect.

[MENTION=4040]fickle[/MENTION] - absolutely loved your post. So many great observations and comments. Really enjoyed it.

[MENTION=7008]JackieClaire[/MENTION] - I didn't realize that you had had a meet-up with Mario and Opal in Belfast in 2009. Somehow I thought the first meet-up was when you flew to Dublin in 2010. Can't believe so many years have passed. I'm sure you all have great memories of those meet ups. Starts, Oney, Molls, KTAB and others. I think Oney celebrated her birthday at one of the meet-ups. I remember calling her room and talking to everyone. It was wonderful to hear all of you. Time sure does go by quickly.

Back to my painting - happy Sunday to all!!!

[rustop59]

Re: International Army October 2020

Afternoon all. [MENTION=22839]brit[/MENTION], as the others said, you have wonderful daughters and it is lovely and I am sure a comfort to be able to help and be there for each other. Love the idea of scattering your ashes with your fur babies JC. None of us want to be that Mother, and thank Goodness that’s something we do not have to worry about. Very sad about Joes friend too.
[MENTION=4040]fickle[/MENTION] - enjoyed your post and your observations.
[MENTION=483]Mary[/MENTION] - thanks for the recommendation, watched Chicago 7 and really enjoyed it. Good to have you back on board Tabs. Enjoy your painting Stirly. Just had a long walk on the beach with doggies. Just what I needed.

[JackieClaire]

Re: International Army October 2020

[MENTION=11158]stirly-girly[/MENTION].......you joned that December..................I remember thinking you must be in the UK or Ireland as you were posting in our time zone.
Yep went charging over there with my new found sobriety all by myself. I usedto be half drunk to get on a plane even with Mr. JC............never stayed overnight by myself and I even ordered room service.Slpet with one eye open in case I missed my flight home on the Sunday.

The Febuary after to Dublin for Oney's birthday................she didn't half scream when you rang the hotel. Molly very kindly gave me a lift to my hotel that night.

Had a visit from our godson this morning........well he sat on his bike at the end of the drive while we shouted to each other......he's moved back up here from Brighton to be nearer family with his fiance after being in Brighton for donkeys years. They should married this year.

We may be looking at another wedding next year. Our Jenny's getting all these brochures from wedding venies and they're turning themselves insideout with deals.

[MENTION=8529]mollyka[/MENTION].............that's such a shame/tragic about your man there. Wet brain do you think and is it too late? Mind you at the D&A place I used to work/volunteer there was a lad we all thought was a goner...........met him a couple of years back and didn't recognise him at first................he'd gone into re-hab cleaned up, new teeth, not a resentment in him .......a different man. I've got him as a pal on FB. now.........before I would have crossed the road if I saw him outside work.


Night night everybody.:hug:

[IamMary]

Re: International Army October 2020

Evening,
Busy and brilliant posts from everyone today. Great to see you back [MENTION=4040]fickle[/MENTION] and well done on the sugar, you sound like your only half the woman you were!
Very sad to read about other Alkies, who havnt managed to find an escape route. It does serve as a great reminder for us - thats the reality, not the normies, that can take it or leave it.
Lovely idea JC about all your ashes.

Bridge, thats interesting about what you said about having a thinking day.. Im not great for analysing, Im a black or white person, but I do think its important to spend the time to figure things out. Already my head is telling me not to dwell on this too much

Lovely walk with my folks, all the kids came, just on our quite roads. Thats all the excitement here, until tomorrow when the government tell us to sit tight for another 4 weeks.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: International Army October 2020

Very early on I was given an eyeopener. A colleague of Mr. JC turned 60 about a three weeks into my sobriety. It was one of those can't avoid/get out of. Did the arrive late and leave early plan in place. Anyway got there the food was out and there was a woman about my age absolutely shit-faced ...........for wont of a better word......... on the dance floor by herself with her near full wine glass sloshing it all over the place. She then dropped the glass and continued to dance in the broken glass and wine sloshed all over...................it wasn't so much her it was her children begging her to sit down, her turning nasty and demanding her rights to do what she wanted. Tbh it made me think of my past behaviour. Looking at her grown up children's made me think of what I'd put mine through, how embarassed they were on my behalf............and I just thought I just can't do that to either of them ever again.
So I haven't.

Oh God that made me cringe JC. It doesn't hurt to remind ourselves on a regular basis about how it was. Rips those rose-coloured glasses off very quickly.

[byebyebridgetjones]

Re: International Army October 2020

Morning all. I am full of arthritis (and empty on patience) this morning so after working until 10.30 am on urgents I have called in sick.

I need regular thinking days [MENTION=22411]IamMary[/MENTION]. I just find I get the speed wobbles if I don't. I'm also trying to live more mindfully these days. I don't really understand what that means tbh but I've reached the second half of my life and I want to be more conscious about the way I live and for whom. Perhaps there are others here who feel as if they have lived their lives up until now only responding and reacting to what others want and need. And I don't want to be a cranky old biddy any more. I'm mainly hurting myself there. Anyway, that's what I think about as I look at the ceiling (and how much the ceiling needs painting)
[MENTION=778]molly[/MENTION] The Lad Who Went on the Plane to Spain sounds a lot like our Richard. I must admit I snorted when I read the bit about losing his car. By the grace of God.... But it's not funny at all is it? What a sh*tty waste of life.

I'm with [MENTION=9248]KTAB[/MENTION] - I am just so glad that you are all here.

[mollyka]

Re: International Army October 2020

morning all! -- yes Jackie -- deffo wet brain -- it's excruciating listening to him on the phone to Joe -- he hardly knows who he is half the time - and re. the missing car -- d'ya know -- many MANY years ago -- a group of us were in town - went to our favourite chinese restaurant on Georges St. and then on to the theatre afterwards -- it was a brilliant night - one of the men had decided not to drink so he drove in and said he'd drive us all home - but he changed his mind and parked the car up in town --- none of us could remember where he'd parked it!!! so we stayed in the chinese having a blast - pissed as newts -- and it was the most sober of us was sent off to find the car -- that person was the 'lad who went on the plane to spain' -- he was by far the most moderate drinker of us all --

How's things MrsA? thinking of you and sending hugs - you are lucky having the girls - well actually - luck has nothing to do with it - as the others say - you were obviously great parents and what goes round comes round -- you deserve it xxxx