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    Thanks lovelies. I really appreciate your thoughts. I think I'd better clarify why it's depressing though and I've had a big think about this one to try to work out a strategy to stop being so woe-is-me. I think that it's a combination. Chemotherapy is something you're there for quite a few hours for and every effort is made to keep you comfortable, you have friends or family with you and the ward I was in was lovely. Radiation is a quicker procedure, you feel like you're literally on a production line, the waiting room is full of older patients, most with quite distressing cancer symptoms and the vibe is very sad. No one really is in the mood for a smile. Envelopes you when you walk in the door.

    So my plan will be to spend as little time in the waiting room as possible and see how that goes. Physically though, the plastic wrap seems to be doing the trick. And after today it's four down! no radio tomorrow - Glassy and I are in Brisbane and its G20 public holiday.

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      Man, that's rough. Hope you can spend as little time in that waiting room as possible. Sending you energy to help kick radiation's butt.

      I saw on Facebook that nursie is still in a lot of pain. Poor girl

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        MHP - my father had radiation for prostate cancer and I remember how terribly hard the waiting room was for him, it was so very demoralizing and put him really down. He felt as if he was ill after those visits. I had forgotten about that until you mentioned it - and sometimes some of the waiting room buddies dropped out and it was awful. I think your plan to avoid is a wise one.
        Hang in there - you have done absolutely brilliantly - do not let this bring you down.
        Have a wonderful day off - do you and Glassy see each other?? (just being nosy:happy2
        “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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          You're absolutely spot on SL...and I won't let it get me. Today my middle son came in with me. I've not wanted the boys in there but he was fine, practising his driving skills as he sits his licence test soon. And we arrived on the dot of time, still had to wait but somehow it was ok. Going to take it all ODAT. And Glassy and I've caught up once, when one of the other Undies was in town and a group got together earlier this year. May get the chance for another catch up soon too.

          Today, before radiation, I did my first work with the lady who is my case study for the yoga for cancer. It was quite emotional, working through a practice that is about physical rehabilitation but essential for her mentally too. Still digesting a lot of the process, but have to say I found it really interesting and uplifting.

          I've been thinking of Nursie and sending her good thoughts. Thanks for the updates Ginge. x

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            Yep...ok I'm confessing now. I had a major meltdown yesterday. Cried and cried. Then had a big sleep. I'd love to say it's all better however it is easier. I'm wondering if this is because of the transition in treatment or the treatment itself though? My poor menfolk, the look on their faces was bloody priceless...it was like - make way for the crazy lady...

            Kicked off today differently, did some meditation, had a walk with hubs and now just pottering. I'm trying to be aware of having gentle down time, not just collapsing in a heap when I'm tired. Also, having a few problems with my right arm, kind of a numbness, pins and needles or general dead feeling. Check up with oncologist scheduled and I will see the radiation oncologist before him so will ask about it there too.

            Phew!! debrief over...how are you all lovelies?

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              Oh My UNhappy Place - I am so sorry. I do feel that a good cry can be a form of therapy, and I feel that tears contain all sorts of toxins that are better out than in. I do hope that the cry and sleep were just that. I am sorry that you are not all better though.
              At the risk of projecting - you were so wonderful getting through chemo, so happy that it was all over and really pacing yourself on getting to that stage. Maybe this is a bot of a reality that it is not all over yet, and radiation is worse on your poor body than you had allowed yourself to prepare for? I really don't know, but I was in awe of your positivity.
              I don't think a reminder or two for your menfolk is a terribly bad thing. You are going through something very major and it is really hard on your body and your psyche - letting them be aware when you have been such a trooper is ok.
              I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all better - I would be so happy to do that - or even be able to bring you something that makes things a little better even for a short moment.

              I have had a tough few days, but come out of it smiling today - nothing like you are facing, but as I mentioned to someone earlier - each battle is personal is it not. I am happy I am smiling today and ready to start a new chapter in my life. 2015 is going to be my year, and I am looking forward to that!
              Be good dear MHP - so many wishes coming your way - I wish upon a star for you:hug::love::hug:
              “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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                MHP, I'm so sorry, sweetie. You've been such a trooper through all of this, maybe you just needed to crash for a bit. The men folk can handle it. Sounds like you have a plan, which I would expect nothing less from you. As always, sending you good vibes.

                SL, I second that motion....2015 is the year of Scottish Lass!!

                We are enjoying 70 degree weather while my family back home freezes.... Brrrrr I dread heading back to the cold end of next week but it's only for a month then back to the warm country right after Christmas.

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                  There's only so much stress a person can take, Happy. I think those of us who can have a good cry are the lucky ones :hug:. Even the stuffy nose and post-cry headache are worth it.

                  Take care of your arm while you wait to find out what is up with that. Actually, take good care of all of you - you deserve the best. XXOO, NS

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                    Hah! I've worked it out. There's a reason you've put on 10kg. It's the Universe telling you that at this point in time you actually need some bigger pants. It's a temporary thing. So, my lovely, put 'em on, pull 'em up and drop a resounding, joyous fart on a wooden bench confidently knowing that this shall soon be over. You're on the home stretch, Happs. You're nearly there.

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                      I'm not surprised about the meltdown, lovely one - I'm only surprised it doesn't happen more often. I hope you can manage to join us when Raggsy visits. And if not, let me know when you're up to it and we'll catch up some other way.
                      There's two ways of looking at the holes in your shoes
                      You can dig the ventilation... or you can sing the blues

                      I didn't come this far to only come this far.

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                        Originally posted by tawnyfrog View Post
                        Hah! I've worked it out. There's a reason you've put on 10kg. It's the Universe telling you that at this point in time you actually need some bigger pants. It's a temporary thing. So, my lovely, put 'em on, pull 'em up and drop a resounding, joyous fart on a wooden bench confidently knowing that this shall soon be over. You're on the home stretch, Happs. You're nearly there.
                        I read this on my phone and nearly wet myself laughing. Thanks Froglette. Thank you ladies. You know Glassy, I WAS surprised. Shocked the shit out of me, tbh...so in between bawling I was laughing hysterically. You get the picture as to why everyone was a bit stunned.

                        I think you're right SL. Mentally I think my end game date was chemo...I just hadn't got the process going for radiotherapy too. So now, thanks to support from all quarters, it's big girl pants on and a REAL smile on my dial. I'm not good at faking it, pretty much what you see is what you get. And now its a lot more positive. I suppose if I couldn't get to the ocean, I had to get some salt water somewhere :love:

                        Yep...2015...SL, me and whoever needs a different perspective...

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                          :heartbeat:
                          It is not what we do, but how much love we put into the doing.
                          Mother Theresa

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                            Originally posted by myhappyplace View Post
                            I read this on my phone and nearly wet myself laughing. Thanks Froglette. Thank you ladies. You know Glassy, I WAS surprised. Shocked the shit out of me, tbh...so in between bawling I was laughing hysterically. You get the picture as to why everyone was a bit stunned.

                            I think you're right SL. Mentally I think my end game date was chemo...I just hadn't got the process going for radiotherapy too. So now, thanks to support from all quarters, it's big girl pants on and a REAL smile on my dial. I'm not good at faking it, pretty much what you see is what you get. And now its a lot more positive. I suppose if I couldn't get to the ocean, I had to get some salt water somewhere :love:

                            Yep...2015...SL, me and whoever needs a different perspective...
                            Is this where I wrap you in blankets and carry you lovingly to the sea. Cos I'd do that, you know. If the gal wants salt water, that's what she shall have!
                            There's two ways of looking at the holes in your shoes
                            You can dig the ventilation... or you can sing the blues

                            I didn't come this far to only come this far.

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                              She's back! That's our MHP! Have a great day. 💞

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                                Happy to help carry the mermaid wrapped in seran wrap for some ocean therapy!!
                                “The only courage you will ever need is the courage to live the life you want"

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