very tired shaky

[magic]

very tired shaky

Hi Want and Welcome!

You're never alone around here, it's just 4.53 p.m. at my house. Supper time, the witching hour.

I think that many of us with addictions have a hard time asking for help, at least I certainly do/did. Suck it up, I'd say to myself, you can do this on your own~I could take care of three babies but I couldn't quit drinking on my own no matter how hard I tried.

I'm glad you asked for help, try the medication, like Paula says and see if it helps.

While taking care of three babies on my own I lost myself as well. She's changed a bit since I saw her last but I see her more and more often these days. A sober life is a grand life, so full of possibilities, really they're endless.

Saturday morning will be day 6 AF for you! Feelings of fear....what exactly are you afraid of? Yes, you have a difficult journey ahead of you but it is so worth it, and so are you!

Congratulations on your first steps, they were hard ones!

magic xx:schmokin:

[Flip]

very tired shaky

It's morning in Aust, so I have the whole day to talk to you if you need it! I am just wondering if you can possibly get another appointment with someone else reasonably quickly (one that you can relate to). having a good relationship with your dr is imperative at this point. I think it's terribly irrisponsible of that Dr to just hand over drugs without real discussion with you and making sure that YOU are happy with what she's perscribing. Once again, I am amazed at the poor health car system of other countries.

Want darling, go back to your GP ASAP and get another referral or what ever you have to do to get someone to help you. Don't take the drugs if you don't want to. One visist to a person that you don't understand does not constitute a diagnosis. You are in charge of your recovery ok.

[bootcampbarbie]

very tired shaky

well, there perhaps is another doctor you can go to? i just can't believe you have to stop at one idiot. i know that isn't nice to say but i don't know today when i had had it with one more idiot in a managerial position i snapped. and i just wouldn't stop snapping til she got me and i quote "give me someone with a brain". i know doesn't seem nice but at the end they actually gave me customer service. odd. and the moron who was supposed to be in a position of knowing was still an idiot. so i guess what i'm wanting to say is this. don't take what you get just because someone is giving it to you. fight for what you want til you get it. otherwise the world is full of morons, who are very unconscious and have no idea what the heck you are going through. the world is also full of really good people with brains, like all those here that post on this site. lol so stick around and go get what you want. bootsie

[magic]

very tired shaky

It's unfortunate that olanzepine has the label "antipsycotic", well I guess it is one- but it is given in other circumstances as well.

I have taken it for depression, I am neither manic or psycotic.

I'm with ya Flip on health care systems....

m. xx

[paula]

very tired shaky

We only get to hear of the bad parts of our NHS, it is mostly free and and an excellent
service. Dear Want you are perfectly entitled to ask for another opinion, if you go and
see your GP, you can request this. Like magic says Olanzapine is used for many other
illnesses, just look at Topamax.! Hope you feel better soon .
Love Paula. x

[wantrealmeaning]

very tired shaky

wow, thankyou all so much, what a lovely bunch of caring people.
i feel a bit better today. i made it through last night without a drink. i was up late reading lots of posts, quite a lot of old ones. they are all so inspiring and enourageing. flip yours are hilarious, what a brilliant spirit you have, you all have!!!!!!!!!! hope i'm not speaking out of turn here flip, but, yes, i have been fortunate enough to of had sober sex, and yes it is great, hope your still getting plenty of it:goodjob: , i really hope i haven't affended you or anyone else by mentioning that.
i did i lot of laughing and crying last night, but i did go to sleep feeling hopeful. this time last week i'd already started drinking, so i'm pleased to say i am sober now and have no alcohol in the house. i go shopping every saturday and last week i was anxious and had palpitations having a crazy fight in my head, should i?... shouldn't i?.... what should i get?.... how many?.......well i ended up getting 8 cans of fosters (i usually drink wine, but drink it far too fast and always end up having 2 bottles), so fosters it was. i cracked 1 open almost as soon as i got home and drank it in the back garden, i made dinner drinking the fosters and then came on here and registered, still drinking the fosters, feeling pretty shit about myself. anyway, to cut a long story short, my ex came round and i asked him to go and get some more, i ended up completely shit faced and woke up on the sofa at 6 in the morning. i felt dreadful, i came on here and went on chat for a little while and spoke to flip and some others, sorry can't remember your names. so here i am 6 days on and 6 days af. i truly, truly have all of you to thank for that even people who don't know me, that means an awful lot to me :l . i've been fighting this problem for far too long now. well when i went shopping today, i wasn't anxious, i had no palpitations, i had to walk down the alcohol aisle, but the bottles and cans just got a sideways glance off me because i knew i didn't have a choice, drinking is not an option for me anymore. i'm craving like bloody hell at the moment but it will pass.
i'm gonna give the olanzepine a go but if i don't like it i'm gonna stop. i agree with what you all say about our health care system in england it sucks, but i also agree with paula, its free and there are some bloody good doctors and nurses are out there who are dedicated to their work, i just haven't come across them yet :H , but seriously, resourcres are very thin on the ground and moral among some staff is low. having said that, i am going to try and be more assertive in getting the help i need.
to answer your question magic, what am i scared of? well what am i not scared of, i've blagged my way through life pretending to be happy, confident and self assured. i can't keep up the pretense anymore, the mask has completely fallen off. i've got no confidence and chronically low self esteem. alcohol has always been my saviour in that regard, so in a way i feel like a child who has to learn how to grow up, well really i suppose you could say that i'm about 12/13yrs old because thats how old i was when i started drinking. now that REALLY scares me. i have to do this, i have to grow up, truly grow up without pretending and hiding behind alcohol.
oh dear, that was a bit of a waffle, sorry about that, well thanks for reading and being there. its good to get things off your chest isn't it? i'm going to go and make dinner now with a glass of orange juice.
love want
xxxxxxxxxxxx

p.s
thanks alot again, you lot are brilliant
xxxxxx
xxxxxxx

[Guest]

very tired shaky

Hi want,
Congrats on the 6 days......great to hear you sounding pitched for battle. As the others have said.........yes, it can be very difficult to access suitable medical care here in U.K., but you must remember that such medical care is your RIGHT and not some sort of favour.......fight your corner on this.

I can relate to you being afraid.........I was really afraid when I contemplated a life without alcohol, but like yourself, I think we`ve all spent yrs. encased in the "booze bubble" and most of us do not truly know who we are. Am almost 7 wks. sober, and as such, have just started out on what I now see as being my "voyage of self discovery"........and yes, I`m still finding it scary as hell, but have already discovered a few thrills along the way.

Admittedly, I continue to have issues with anxiety and depression, but I suffered from same when drinking, only like so many, I found that drink was effective in masking much of that.........I feel better without the booze, and am working on the underlying problems which caused me to turn to drink in the first place.

Wishing you love and strength to fight your good fight.

Much love,

Starlight Impress x

[magic]

very tired shaky

Congratulations Want!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Glad you got that off your chest, whew!

The thing is the olanzepine may calm some of those feelings so you can deal with them (or it may not) you'll never know until you try. If you don't like it you can change meds or quit, I suspect they will help.

I can recall my very first month on Prozac, way back when. It was like the clouds had parted and the sun had come out for the very first time in my life. I could see colour and feel warmth. I felt like I had walked out of a cave, I wondered where I had been.

Alcohol masks, and numbs so many things.....the real you is on top of the list. Go forth and find her!!

As for Flip, who is Flip? LOL

m. xx

[wantrealmeaning]

very tired shaky

thanks

starlight impress, i really like you, you sound so strong with a lot of wisdom, like many on these boards. thank you for your support. i read in another thread that at one point you were sober for 10 yrs. that is brilliant,more than brilliant, you know you can do it again. i wish you live long sobriety star, and for anybody else on these boards who wants it too. i do, i know its early days for me, but i am an alcoholic and when i drink i drink alcoholically, i've tried so hard over the last 5yrs to stop or moderate, i even tried AA about 3yrs ago, not for me, having said that i think i am finally truly understanding what they mean by :surrender:
heres to finding out who we are, worts an all eh!? :thumbsup

love want
:l xxx

[wantrealmeaning]

very tired shaky

awww. thanks magic, you are all helping me so much, its overwhelming :l

mg i hope Flip isn't going to be angry with me :bat. i'm sorry, but sober sex is GREAT lol.

love want
:blush: xx

[Finding My Self]

very tired shaky

Want love - bless you and WELL DONE!!!

I remember feeling about 7 yrs old for days 7-75 AF!!! But, it was OK and growing up can be really fun!!! I was stuck where my parents said I was useless (7) and now I'm the '49 and 333 days' I really am and still getting 'bigger' by the minute.... And everyone here has helped me do it. I hope you feel it too soon. Just 'do the days' and you'll be amazed.

In the UK the NHS don't tell you that you have Patient's Choice about your treatment. They leave you wondering where to go next but the system is that your GP has to do all the referring....so if you aren't happy with a diagnosis or person you see, go back to your GP as often as you like. The GP's surgery (Primary Care Trust) and the hospital actually make more money this way....(not from you directly but the government...!) So if you know that's the way it works hopefully it will help you to not feel bad about keeping on at your GP!! Go for it!

Oh, um, sssh, yes, sober sex is great!!!! (Shame he's b**g*rd off!!)

Love and hugs to you Want - you're doing just great.

FMF xx :l

[Flip]

very tired shaky

Lordy, I'm not angry for Dog's sake!! I think it's a hoot! If it was private do you think I would write it here for the world to see/read???

If fact I think it's time we started a new thread talking about the benifits of sober sex.... not that I"m getting any at the moment, but I haven't given up hope despite what I say out loud....

I would eat my own arm to get some! lol

So glad you are doing well, I particulary think the attitude you demonstrated in the shooping ailse is a wonderful achievement and indicative of your new outlook. Way to go Want!

[Guest]

very tired shaky

LMAO.........I would eat my whole body to get some, Flip!!!!

Starlight Impress x

[Finding My Self]

very tired shaky

OKguys......if we're on the subject...... I'd eat all my body but certainly some lovely, hunky, kind, gentle, strong, loving, funny, rich, single, sober, available, non-commitmentphobe's body as well!!!!! (Anything I've forgotten and, perchance, do you think I'm being greedy or positive?!??!)

Yum!!!

FMF x

[Flip]

very tired shaky

You forgot SANE!!!