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[changemylife]

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Pardon my French but this is a fucking roller coaster. Went on vacation last month and have been drinking heavily since. I need to get back to sobriety. It gets harder and harder every time. Its definately taking a toll on my body!

[Doggygirl]

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Hi change. I read your whole thread and I can totally relate to the roller coaster. After 60 days AF last summer, the "let's have one!! Let's moderate!!" mind speak got to me, and off the wagon I went. I was quickly back to MAJOR excessive drinking. Had a couple of other false starts at AF in between, and now I'm back again with the 100% knowledge that I will NEVER be able to moderate - I don't even want to have that fantasy any more. I'm SICK SICK SICK of the roller coaster you describe.

I can relate to the aches and pains (except for the liver - hopefully I have dodged that bullet!) that you reference in earlier posts. I had let myself go to the bottle so badly that when I first went AF I too felt pain in so many joints, I had swelling in my ankles and severe pain in one of my feet - I thought something was broken in there. Take away the booze, and I could sure feel every ache and pain.

I was actually amazed at how those problems started to clear up pretty quickly between some combo of the full MWO recommended supplement program purchased here and no AL for 60 days. Of course after the fall, the weight and bloating and aches and pains started to come back...but not as bad which I can only attribute to continuing the supplements even with the AL.

Now I am not only AF and taking the full range of supplements, but also exercising 5 - 6 times per week. My aches and pains are going even further away. (except for my right hip, which is a problem that will probably require surgical correction if it gets where I can't stand it any more.) So...IMO there are LOTS of benefits of an AF life style, and after all this experimentation I'm learning to appreciate them more. AL just leads to an ugly miserable pit, at least for me. Bless the ones who CAN moderate....I can't and I have accepted that.

I hope if you are truly in that position yourself, that you can peacefully accept it...and take positive steps to get yourself off the craziest and most dangerous roller coaster ride on the planet.

Best wishes!!

DG
Day 20 AF - hopefully for the very last time!
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[changemylife]

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Thanks DG,

I need to get my head together for another round. I want to try and stop smoking also. I think that will also help since they go hand in hand. Maybe I will quit smoking and use the excuse to other people that drinking will make me want to have a cigarette so I quit both.:thanksbubble:

[bestlifeldms]

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Change,

I know the roller coaster ride! I have been here since July 06. Am now AF after many, many, many attempts. I can only say that ALL parts of my life have improved. I CANNOT moderate. There is no such thing for me. Either SOBER or DRUNK. I choose SOBER.

Good Luck, nice to have you back!

Best

[brittzak]

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I too can not moderate....always end up drunk again. Of course, I too have tried to tell myself I could moderate and failed every damn time. I think for many, moderation is just not an option, will never be an option. ACCEPTING that is the hard part.....harder than actually doing it. For me, I would tell myself..."why can't I be like other people and have 1 or 2 drinks and stop". You gotta not analyz it to death, just accept it and proceed. Just my opinion. wishing you the very best!!!!

[FloridaBoy]

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changemylife;343847 wrote: Pardon my French but this is a fucking roller coaster. Went on vacation last month and have been drinking heavily since. I need to get back to sobriety. It gets harder and harder every time. Its definately taking a toll on my body!

I cannot moderate either. My brain has no AL off switch...it never has...never. This is not a bad thing...it is just the way I am. I accept it now and staying away from AL is my only option. I had to ask myself if I wanted to die from AL. No, I do not. The hangover and guilt last a lot longer than the buzz. The guilt came from KNOWING I should not drink but doing it anyway. I had short AF stints before but finding this site and reading posts was the catalyst I needed and gave me a huge reality check. I am actually starting to like myself.

[changemylife]

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I've decided to quit again. I feel like shit and miss those days of feeling good without AL. I'm having withdrawel syptomd right now. I had 3 beers last night instead of 12.

[Evie.Lou]

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i was in withdrawl last month on this very day of the week.That was truly HELL.I have to stay Sober because I do not think that I am strong enough to stop again.The good news is that after one month AF my liver does not hurt anymore and it seems to be working again(no more light poooh).My skin color is better and I can even look at myself in the mirror and recognize who is looking back.I am slowly putting my life back together again and it will not be the same as before,it will be even Better than before.You can do this tooo.I know that you can.We will be here to help along the way.Think about your life in 1week,1month,1year from now.It is so worth doing what ever it takes to make the future to be with you in charge.....If you can dream it,you can do it(I know you can and we can help)....LOL..Evie