Newbies Nest

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

I have disappointed myself...after being so good and so strong for so long...I caved while using the leftover wine while cooking, and drinking a glassful that wasn't needed for cooking. I am kicking myself. This AL is one sneaky b*stard! I am guessing those "6 sips" the other night cracked the door open for the AL demon. Again...I need to pull my head out of my arse and start again tomorrow. I almost did not want to even own up to this, but if I am really serious about kicking this, I need to. Maybe my butt velcro was not attached well enough.

I'm an idiot and feel myself slipping in the direction of the rabbit hole. DO NOT WANT TO GO THERE!!! Not now, not ever.:no:

[ImHereNow]

Newbies Nest

I can also strongly endorse calms forte! So great to sleep thru the night again!

[lilla]

Newbies Nest

SL - you CAN do it and you MUST and WILL. Stay strong, I was like that yesterday and Windy reminded me to focus on how bad you will feel tomorrow if you cave in. Feel that tight head, remember how horrible it feels and all the guilt that goes with it. Go and do something or read through the Tools and past posts including your own to get back into that strong head space. Hang on in there, please. I feel so proud of myself today and I want you to feel that joy tomorrow too. Good luck.

[ImHereNow]

Newbies Nest

Prairie Fairy;1217561 wrote: That's a good question - Rich gave me samples that are premeasured so I don't really know. It didn't seem like much and said to dissolve in 4 oz of water. Does that sound like the dose on the side? All I know is get up an extra 10 minutes early because regularity IS NOT going to be a problem. At all. You should sleep like a baby AND be downright slender.

:-). Nope - no issues with bloating... Not with this...

I take 1 calms forte after lunch, 1 after dinner and 2 before bedtime.

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Hi all. I'm back again. I've been struggling for a long time now. Been drinking the last six days after being off it for a couple of weeks. I thought I could just go for a few drinks and leave it at that. Can't be done, as we all know. There's an AA meeting just a hundred metres from my house. Thinking about going.
I've been low before but never this bad. I actually don't want to wake up tomorrow.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

What's happened here?

Belle, why would you think it's OK to use wine for cooking right now? Why do you have an open bottle in the house? If you are commited to quitting ~ you know what you need to do.

scottish lass, a cup of tea will warm you up ~ make new associations.

Andrew, I'm sorry to hear you decided to drink again. You had such a strong start! Hop back in the nest & go to the AA meeting if that will help you. AL will do nothing but make your depression worse but I think yuo know that.

[Andrew from Ireland]

Newbies Nest

Lavande;1218167 wrote:

Andrew, I'm sorry to hear you decided to drink again. You had such a strong start! Hop back in the nest & go to the AA meeting if that will help you. AL will do nothing but make your depression worse but I think yuo know that.

Thanks Lav. I know what to do. I don't know why I keep slipping though. It's so stupid! I love being sober and after a couple of weeks AL free I feel amazing. I just need to figure out how to stay sober and not go drinking again. That's the hard part for me. I'd appreciate any tips in that regard.

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Lav, thanks for your wisdom and giving me a kick in the butt. The opened bottle of wine had been sitting in the fridge since Sunday, and I have been very proud that I had left it alone til tonight. So I thought I would get rid of it by using it for cooking. I think it was the devil talking. He found me on a day that I was feeling frustrated, tired and without a moment to myself. I have been trying to meditate daily, and was not able to today. also have not been taking care of myself when it comes to eating right. It seems like all these pieces fit together to bring the AL back in. I had been feeling so strong and happy. My husband noticed this morning that "my smile was back".

Yes, I do know what I have to do. No more excuses. No more BS from AL. I'm pissed off and I am done.:damn:

I'll start right now with a bedtime snack of a banana and a tall glass of soy milk.

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Andrew,
I've decided the best way (for me) to stay sober is to remain grateful - truly grateful for the gift of sobriety!
I make sure everyday that I run my gratitude list through my mind & add to it whenever I can. I reach out to newbies & others here to stay connected & not become complacent. I don't dwell on the past but I don't want to forget it either. I push myself to learn & try new things to keep from returning to old patterns. There's a lot you can do, you just have to get started

I hope everyone has a safe night in the nest & is prepared for a wonderful AF Thursday!

Lav

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Belle - I'm glad to hear that & sorry for the butt kick but you know how nest mums can be

[Herbie]

Newbies Nest

Wow lots happening tonight... I am really coming in late tonight... The last 3 days I have had the phone glued to my ear on business stuff for my hubby while he is out of town... major busy, gators biting everywhere... 22 days ago, I would have had a least 3 glasses of wine by now just to wind down etc... but I haven't, went and met a friend for coffee and had such a nice time.. feeling relaxed and ready to settle in for the night

Blonde enjoy that hat in the morning!!!

Belle Girl... get back on that horse and start riding again

Andrew... from Ireland... I have a friend from Cork... she liked her drink (alot) and she use to say "If God intended for the Irish to rule the world he would never have invented whiskey". !!!.. (Just trying to maybe put a smile on your face) We all know what we need need to do to lose weight, stop drinking, stop smoking etc... but knowing and doing are two different things.. . I have been reading Jason Vale's book Kick the Drink Easily.. he states "for years I never thought about stopping drinking for one reason and one reason alone FEAR. The thought of never drinking again ... petrified me. ... It is only the fear that prevents them from stopping drinking... the fear that I would never be able to enjoy or cope with my life in the same way again without AL.... fear of feeling miserable and deprived. the truth was I wanted to stop drinking but I wanted to drink as well.. I was confused as hell... what alcohol addicts fail to realise is that all those fears are only caused by one thing and one thing alone: the AL itself... Once your realise that AL does nothing for you then for the first time you realise that you will be giving up nothing are for that reason you will not fell deprived when you stop. you will not have to fight the desired; you will simply feel elated you are giving up nothing"

Anyway Andrew I went on too long... with the help of the nesters you will ( not maybe) you will figure out how to stay sober

Sleep well all my fellow nesters, can't wait to say morning to ya all!!!

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

good morning!!

woke up a bit confused after 10 hours of sleep!
i may have exagerated. i was so tired last night i could barely make it from the computer to bed. and my back was killing me from hours of sitting in this chair!

Belle, i am so glad you didn't let that glass of wine turn into more than that--signing on and moving on with the help of a firm kick in the butt from mama is the best thing you could have done for yourself. i didn't do that in july and one drink turned into 5 months!
so good on you. you've been a source of inspiration for me in these early days and i laugh out loud (LOL, yeah?) everytime i see that cute little dog and read about butt velcro.

Minstar, you are so fortunate to be catching and conqueoring this in time to enjoy babyhood. i think the regrets of missing childhood due to alcohol are some of the most difficult to overcome. my mom missed my childhood (fr my 8th -20th year) and that of my sisters and after 15 years of being sober still has deep sadness. i also have sadness for her after having followed in her footsteps the past couple of years.
i feel so grateful for this way out. for finding the strength to get the f*** out.

i'm not a pray-er, but each day i pray for great strength for us all!!

Audrey, i'm so happy you got through the 2nd day. have people given you advice on how to deal with living with an alcoholic while becoming sober? i'm sending you the most mega strength vibes i possibly can.!! there must be some good tools to use in that special situation.

Andrew, i went to a couple of aa meetings awhile ago and found that they did help. my prob. is i have to travel an hour each way to get there. if they around the corner i would def. rec. trying them out. in a time of struggle, it will at least keep you away from alcohol for 1 hour!

i wish all of you a wonderful AF! free day.

[lifechange]

Newbies Nest

i forgot.
i wanted to say one more thing.
yesterday afternoon i was sitting around, exhausted, with several not-so- important things i felt i should be doing-- i couldn't make any sort of decision. started this and that. then sat down and Pipers post about swimming 30 laps (how big is that pool, anyway?!) popped into my head. hey, i used to be fit!
i told myself i would just get dressed and walk to the track and if i didn't feel like it i could turn around and come home.
i managed 6 laps!! and during the last 2 i visualised with every pound of the pavememt (track turf) the squishing of the little pessimistic voice that tries to tell me i can't see this sobriety thing through. she's a little voice, but i do hear her every once in awhile saying, "yeah you're doing alright, but for how long?"
i was so gratifying and amusing to squish her.
AND i got out so much weird energy that i was able to relax at home and just do my thing.
EXERCISE helps so much. we may have to trick our tired bods in the beginning.

[if dreams were horses]

Newbies Nest

Good Morning Nesters, today is Day 10, and I feel as if I have lost a close friend. Still irritable, but that is better than drinking. My sleep is still bad, but yesterday I managed to sleep at least 10 hours, which also allowed me stay up later. This morning up again at 3 a.m. I have a full day planned.

Blonde, congrats on your day 30, that is what I am working on. Then 60 and so on. You are an inspiration.

Lass, congrats to you also on finishing Day3, and now you will enter into Day 4 stronger and more determined.

Belle, please do not kick yourself too much, you could loosen that but velcro. Honestly, we all slip, and take a step back, fesing up shows your strength and determination. You may be going back to Day 1, but it will be your last time, we all feel your strength.

Andrew, I felt like you did, I did not want to wake either, I even took steps to make sure I did not, but a picture of my grandchildren woke me, and told me I was being selfish. They are the reason I am here and cleaning up my life. You need to focus on what is truely important to you, if you have children or granchildren, they can be your focus. You asked for tips, well I am still fairly new to being AF, but I made a decision to start on one certain day, and that is what I did. I keep all temptation away, drink lots of water, herbal teas, and have been told to rest when ever I feel like it and when I can. So pick a day and start. You can do it, Lord if I was able to with the amount I drank, which was 24/7, so can you.

Lav, you have so many wise words for everyone, that is also a goal for me. I would like to be inspirational to all.

Audrey, congrats on your Day 2 and Day 3, you will go into it strong. Have you got any good advice on staying sober while living with an alcoholic, wish I could offer some good advice. If he continues not to drink that is a positive. Maybe you two could work together on this. I hope you get to see your daughter, our children are a very important part of our lives. Good luck on that Visa.

[Prairie Fairy]

Newbies Nest

Morning all - have been busy this week with a major project due (if they gave me the extra time, I got to work it) and having the SO here this weekend PLUS getting ready for all sorts of people staying for the holidays I feel like I don't know if I am coming or going.

I do know I have to be hyper alert to getting my supplements on time still eating when I am supposed to, and I hope to get some extra sleep on Sunday night.

But I realized (duh) that part of the holiday issues about staying straight is NOT just family, social expectation or stress- but that we get out of our time habits that protect our trigger times and therefore our quit. So I am going to redouble my vigilance.

My best to everyone this morning - hope to have more time to come visit during the day.

hey LOLAB...how is the Natural Calm working now?

Irie - any change in the Hypnos?