Newbies Nest

[NoraC]

Newbies Nest

Kradle - I've been thinking about you a lot. Sending you lots of positive energy. :l :h

[BelleGirl]

Newbies Nest

Such a good looking bunch in the nest...Keep up the good work, y'all! Lots of good stuff going on and nobody giving up.

The devil does not want to die though...2 days away from my 6 months AF and I had a dream that I was at a wine tasting event. Instead of tasting, i guzzled a beer glass full of wine. I didn't feel so bad doing it either. However, when I woke up, before realizing it was a dream I felt awful. Good gawd, does this ever end???

[DfromCT]

Newbies Nest

Hi, Nesters!

Busy as can be at work, and checking in here for some reinforcement and to share some insight I've had the past few days.

My goal is 30+ days of abstinence. I'm hoping I can be a moderate drinker at some point, but know if I tried that now, I'd be back on the binges VERY quickly. I don't know if I will be able to achieve moderation at 30 days, and quite frankly those that have told me it's unlikely have opened my eyes to how hard it will be to moderate. I don't know how dependent upon alcohol my brain became, or better put, how much of an addict I was/am.

I do know that I'm LOVING sobriety. I'm loving the feeling of being real, not hiding something from the rest of the world. I've re-connected with my wife (who is in her 9th month of pregnacy, with twins for those of you that don't know) in ways that would not be possible had I kept drinking.

Lilly--I totally get that for you moderation is not a choice, YOU GO GIRL and keep stringing together day's of sobriety!
Gdog--we're on this path to reach 30 very close to one another. Keep it up and we won't need to go back to the beginning.
Kradle--24--congrats! I'm sure you'll make 25---keep blazing that trail for me!
LibGirl--I'm sure your sauce would have been better with the wine, and I have always believed that the alcohol cooks out very quickly, though I suspect the issue would be once you open the bottle, what do you do with the rest AND/OR how are you sure you don't take a swig (or pour a glass) right then and there?

Good luck, all! Back to work for me. I also need to grab a late lunch so I can take my lunchtime herbs/vitamins and Naltrexone.

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

Hey, I'm back. Wed. afternoon, and I am doubly looking forward to the weekend! We've rented a cabin on the river for Saturday nite. It is only about 12 miles from our house, but we never knew they were there, lol. Also, may rent a kayak or canoe for a two-hour paddle up the river. Not sure how prepared I am for that!

I ordered some powdered L-Glutamine yesterday, and plan to take it like Redthread does, and do two large doses a day. I hope that it helps with weight loss, as she has said, and also with AL/sugar cravings. I have faith that it will.

Keep chanting Kradle, it seems to be helping you rack up the AF days! Gdog and D, congrats on day 4?... And helloooooooooooo to all I didn't name!:l

[Arrii]

Newbies Nest

Have to say after reading so many posts i feel for once very positive about attempting to stop this bad habit. For once i actually feel i can be truley honest about my feelings and how ive been with alcohol and not be judged and that im actually not the only one or alone. Dont even feel i can be honest with the closest ppl in my life as im quite ashamed. If i feel agitated and start thinking of popping to the shop for a bottle im going to pop on here instead and im pretty sure it will keep me strong!

[Didz]

Newbies Nest

Back to day one. I hate this merry go round. I hate feeling "less than". Worried I won't last the day- hubby going drinking tonight - this is my biggest trigger- when no one is around to hold me accountable. Feel so bad this morning after too many drinks last night- a bad sleep and now an anxiety attack. Aaarrrgh.

[SAUSAGE]

Newbies Nest

Hi nesters

Back from my 10 day trip away. Lots of catching up to do, and lots of washing! Didn't drink so today is day 139 AF - it was tough at times though. Will write more tomorrow.....off to bed now.

[Gdog]

Newbies Nest

Heading home. All the triggers will be there, but just want to stay steady and keep moving towards bedtime. Really hoping to get day three done.

[Fin]

Newbies Nest

LillyE;1348519 wrote: FIN, where the hell are you? Somebody needs to take roll call around here! *Cracks whip*

Hey LE - I'm here. I've been testing the waters. Very moderately. I've gone days without, then one night with one beer, another day or two without, etc, etc. I'm not really sure where I am with all this now, but I am happy to be away from the 6-7 IPAs EVERY SINGLE night - that was a nightmare. I'm actually just about to go on a date with my wife. What will be the choice tonight? Hmmm...I'm going to commit to zero vs. allowing one IPA tonight since you piped in. Thank you!!!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

I want to state that I do not advocate (trying) moderation. Obviously, all of us would probably agree that moderation is good. The trouble with AL for many of us, is that is difficult to impossible to change our relationship with it. Especially for newbies. I agree with the founder of this site that it takes 30 days to break a habit. Many rethink their goals after 30 days, and some commit to total abstinence. Others do try the moderation path, and it may or may not be successful. Most of the people who still post on here say that it did not work. There may be people it did work for, who stopped posting. We will never know.

Regardless, it is a very personal choice, obviously. I just want to state for the record that my experience (or experimenting) is not what I want to see emulated, and I will shut up now.

[Kradle123]

Newbies Nest

LG,

If you were to shut up I shall have to leave the nest.:upset:

I love your spirit and wonderful words...:h



PS that cabin sounds awesome. Hope it has a hot tub!!

[LibraryGirl]

Newbies Nest

It is a county park cabin and the amenities are minimal. However, it is very nice looking from the outside, and seems fairly newly built. We saw them from the outside last weekend, and were impressed. At $60.00 a night, you do not get a hottub, or even a television, lol. Back to nature!!!

I love your spirit too, Kradle, sweetheart!! I'm glad to see you persevering! (((hugs)))

[LillyE]

Newbies Nest

Wow, Kradle, that's terrific! You are doing SO well! Especially given the stress at home. How is that going anyway? :l

Library Girl ha, yeah I sure am doing a lot of reflecting. I totally related to your post about overanalyzing that one time - me too. I'm definitely in a 'reflective' mode. Please anyone feel free to tell me to shut the hell up if I'm blabbing on too much here.

Also, again, I hesitated to say anything about the modding issue as I was afraid it would come out wrong and drive you from the Nest. I think/hope you get what i meant and I don't mean you should never mention what you're going through here, obviously, just that modding talk can be really risky for Newbies. I'll shut up now too. And please don't leave!

Hmmm, spinach pasta sauce idea not one I would ever have thought of but like the idea. I've done pasta sauces of basically pureed veggies with seasonings/spices (like pumpkin, say) and they can be surprisingly good and healthy/low fat. I am ALL about making soup right now - cause I'm dieting and it's so freaking cold here right now. So warming, so healthy. Yummo. Made a great potato-broccoli-spinach one recently. Want to make a red-lentil-bean one soon too.

BelleGirl, HA! Yes, there are some incredibly attractive and intelligent people around here, I agree

Welcome Arrii - sorry if I missed posts from you before. Tell us more about you!

Didz, welcome back! Jump on here tonight while your hubby is out and hang tight. You can do this.

Sausage, AWESOMELY WELL DONE on your trip. A huge challenge conquered. You should be very proud of yourself and hopefully feeling even stronger in your sobriety.

DfromCT - Thanks for that and WELL DONE for you committing to 30 days. I think anyone who has questioned their drinking enough to come here has a lot to gain from that experiment, wherever it ultimately leads you. I mean, look at Library, whether she keeps modding or not it's clear her AF time has helped her gain a deeper understanding of her issues with alcohol. That can only be a good thing. And for you, right now, with your wife about to give birth (congrats btw, twins - amazing!), it's a great time to have that peace of mind and clarity. The booze will ALWAYS be there if and when you choose to go back to it.

Fin, really glad you're back, was getting worried about you! Sounds like you're doing well. And, again, I don't want my previous comments about modding to alienate anyone from the Nest. It's better to be here sharing and trying than alone and struggling. If you can moderate, that's fantastic. Although as I said to DCT above, a month off entirely could only be a good thing either way, but see how you go, right? And keep posting your progress either way.

So, two bits of news here:

1) I called up this am about attending a SMART recover group (alternative to AA some of you may have heard of). There is one tomorrow at 11am. I may not be able to go, depending on work, but am going to if I can. Scares the hell out of me but seems like a good move to try and seek out some more real world support.

2) Am booked in to go for a degustation dinner with some friends at the end of the month at this amazing restaurant that's very hard to get into that I've been wanting to go to forever. My first thought of course was how tempting the matching wines will be. But I've already told my friend I won't be drinking and I hope they will understand (code for: please don't give me shit about it). The upside, I can use my booze-saving money to go and it will be WAY cheaper without the matching wine.

So, challenges ahoy!

Once again I apologize for my super long posts. Because of my time zone I have to catch up on a day of posting all at once!

L x

[Destiniey]

Newbies Nest

Wow...I am gone from the nest for a day and it's taking me forever to read back through the posts...so much happening! My daughters friend rom college came to visit yesterday and she is staying a couple of nights so I wasn't able to read/post yesterday or today. But here I am.....wide friggin awake since I sleep like crap since I've been AF. Oh well...it can't last forever!

Rooni...my NC buddy Rooni....you are NOT a failure!! I sent you a PM but I wanted to post on here too. We all cave.....time and time again....but the fact that you keep trying is what is important. We have to make 30 days so we can celebrate and meet up for coffee! Just a little incentive...no pressure!

LG...you are going to have soooo much fun at the cabin! It sounds awesome.

Kradle...keep chanting girl...it's working!!!!!!:whee:

LillyE...love the post about viewing sobriety as an exciting new way of life...I am definitiely going to print that out!

Hi Litre, Gdog, Dave, Byrdi, Fin and all the other peeps :hithere:

[Mick]

Newbies Nest

Hi Sausage ..welcome back