Newbies Nest

[Kailey]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1642676 wrote: Welcome back, Kailey! I followed your personal thread. It was clear that you really loved your AF life but you went on a personal retreat to gain it. Are you going to do that this time or work it in to your "regular" life? As you know, there is so much information here and people who really want to help you if they can. :l

That gave me a good laugh NS! My co-workers were very understanding when I suddenly took a month off work, but I don't think they would go for it a second time! No, this time itvwill have to happen in my real world! I'm ready, though. Today is Day 1.

Thanks for all the welcome backs! It feels good to be "home".

[Pavati]

Newbies Nest

Morning, Nest:

NS - Thanks for posting that from Solitaire. That is exactly it - a weird feeling to say and believe I won't drink again - simulaneously losing a long term friend and a huge relief.

Welcome back, Kailey. I followed your thread, too. My DH did not quit - he doesn't need to - so there is alcohol in the house, but he knows that in a moment's notice he might have to take it all out... Stay strong.

Have great Fridays, all.

Pav

[NomoreJim]

Newbies Nest

Byrdlady;1642698 wrote: Dream....
Believe it or not, as I get ready in the morning, I think about what I'm going to post when I check into the nest. What 'THING' can I possibly say to someone new (or old) to help them make this journey easier? That is my constant mantra! What can I do, on this day, to make someone's quit stick? As we know, if I knew this for sure, I wouldn't be sitting here on a Friday morning with 74 emails from customers and a house that needs cleaning!! I'd be RICH on a yacht somewhere with my diet coke served with a tiny umbrella in it! But THIS morning, I was thinking about what separates the chronic relapsers (of which I was one) from the long termers who don't seem to struggle at all? WHAT is the thing that separates these two groups? Then it hit me like a speeding ticket for Lindsey Lohan:

ACCEPTANCE.

As we all know, there are 5 stages of grief. Anger, denial, bargaining, depression and acceptance. When I was struggling so, I just couldn't quite ever give in that this had happened to me. I couldn't quite get my head around the fact that I am a common alcoholic. I couldn't GRASP never drinking again. So all the while I was holding out hope, but I was really sabotaging myself. In THIS case, HOPE is not our friend. I only began to succeed when I accepted that I will not drink again and I took the choice OFF the table, like Dream said. Just like the peanut allergy people, I'm sure they long for a peanut every now and again, but they push that thought OUT, realizing that the one peanut could kill them. This is exactly the same. We have to tell ourselves, NO, HELL NO! AL will NOT take another day of my precious life! To me, the choice IS off the table just like peanuts are for the others. It was a relief! Blessed, relief. The burden of choice had been lifted.

The folks you see on this site who are successful, and I won't mention any names but her initials are LAV, she has a ZERO TOLERANCE POLICY. I just thought she was a hardass, until she kept making it and I didn't. When I became a hardass myself, I understood this. We MUST be hardasses when it comes to AL....Not one, not ever! You will never see Lav saying....'at least for now, I won't drink' You never see her waiver and THAT is the key to this thing! As alkies, just the slightest bit of HOPE keeps that addiction alive and simmering just under the surface. It makes every single day an uphill battle. You can surrender to it now, or wait 10 years, I believe the result will eventually be the same. At some point you are going to have to STOP drinking or it is going to kill you. When you ACCEPT this, the road really does gets easier. MUCH easier, too.
Rahul asked me yesterday what the key to success is in this battle. It is acceptance that we will not drink another drop of AL no matter what and no matter who.

If what you haven't tried in the past hasn't worked, try it this way! Say NO MORE, and mean it. You will be amazed. Go out and make the most of your precious life today! If I can do this, I know you can, too! xxoo, Byrdie

AMEN!!!!! Good post these are truly words to quit by.

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Welcome back Kailey! We know you can do this. Just look at your avatar "never give up"...that's it exactly....never quit quitting!

Happy Friday Nesties! I hope you all enjoy your weekend, safe and sober. Remember that the weekend is not a pass to drink. It's just 2 days where you can enjoy being sober even more.

Velcro, staple, glue or tape your butts to the Nest! We can help

[-143]

Newbies Nest

Hi....this is my first time in the nest....... and I'm pretty much like muppett... I'm not drinking wine right now but I plan to later. Ok...this is what's going on.... I've been drinking heavy for a little over a year. I've always drank but not the way I've been drinking lately. It started around Sept. 2012...my 18 year old daughter and my then 2 year old granddaughter started staying with her "cousin" around the corner. I got use to it after a while. Then I hadn't seen my grand baby for almost 2 weeks and I heard she wasn't feeling well. I finally got my daughter to bring her to see me. I almost broke down in tears..... my grand baby could barely walk cause she could barely breath!!!! My daughter said she just had a cold..... I knew better ....we rushed her to the er!!! She had pneumonia and a double ear infection. I told my daughter she couldn't go back with her.... that I was going to keep her until she got her act together.. ..that was November 5, 2012.....I had my grand baby for 6 months!!!! At the time I was 46....and had raised 3 children of my own....and my patience just ain't what it use to be. I started drinking right after breakfast til I'd pass out after she went to sleep.

I was drinking brandy and beer. After her mom moved back home cut back a little but was still drinking heavy. A couple of months ago my Dr. told me my liver enzymes were raised
and to cut back... Not!!! Went to see her 2 weeks ago.... enzymes are higher. Now I'm scared!!! But I'm not ready to quit I just want to cut back. So I started taking milk thistle and finished the last of my brandy. Now I have been drinking 16-20 oz of red wine and 2 lite beers around 9pm. I made it pass the nervous itchy feeling and starting mon.I'm going to try not to drink anything.... one day at a time.....

[Luckyflower]

Newbies Nest

Honey- Way to go girl. Keep it up. The first and second weekends were tough but once I pass them it was a smooth ride. I wish you all the best. You deserve happiness and you will discover it once AL is out of the picture. Guaranteed.

Kailey-I posted in a different thread called: One Drink? I hope you get a chance to stop by and read it. That one drink created a lot of agony. I hope you will be able to learn from it.

Kensho- I will take the worst sugar headache over AL any day of the week. The need for sugar is much needed for some of us in early stages of the quit. I know I was craving it and I didn?t have a sweet tooth prior to my quit. If that?s what it takes then so be it. It did subside later on.

Wishing everyone an awesome AF weekend. Being sober feels so liberating.:l

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

MAE all,
Renters emailed to say that the upstairs shower is leaking into the downstairs shower...I can not wait to sell this place...I dont know whether to cry or scream. It is a money pit and I just dont have the time or patience to mess with this. Now I have to hire someone to fix it. And I dont even know what it is....dam....
Waiting all afternoon for stove to be delivered. I mopped the floor under the old stove. Not as bad as I thought it would be and no dead bugs....good thing....
Hope the weekend is better...

[K9Lover]

Newbies Nest

Welcome -143! We know how daunting this journey can be. You've taken a first great step by jumping in here. Read, read, read and keep posting! You will always find something valuable to take away with you. I hope you stick around so we can get to know you!

[-143]

Newbies Nest

Thanks K9..... I'm scared but I know I have to do something....

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

-143;1642785 wrote: Thanks K9..... I'm scared but I know I have to do something....

143, I'd just like to echo K9. I'm relatively new at this AF life (34th day). It's one thing to cut back, but I believe you need to go AF, at least for an extended period of time. For your physical health as well as your psychological Heath and General happiness.

As K9 said, read and stick around. There's lots of moral support here. Make a plan. Replace AL with something else as a reward.

[-143]

Newbies Nest

Thanks petrelhead!

[Lavande]

Newbies Nest

Afternoon nest check

Glad to see you back Kailey, you know what to do

-143, glad you found your way here!
Make yourself comfortable - pull up a twig right next to me!
Get your plan squared away, get the last of the AL out of the house & commit yourself to a better life addiction free. You'll never regret doing this for yourself & for your loved ones. Stay close to the nest & check in frequently - it really helps!

[Petrelhead]

Newbies Nest

NoSugar;1642673 wrote: Hey, Jane. Eating shouldn't be as complicated as it has become, should it? In an opinion piece a couple of days ago, Mark Bittman put forth a pretty reasonable, simple approach that would be enough of a change for most people to be very healthy:

"Rather, let’s try once again to pause and think for a moment about how it makes sense for us to eat, and in whose interest it is for us to eat hyperprocessed junk. The most efficient summary might be to say “eat real food” and “avoid anything that didn’t exist 100 years ago.” You might consider a dried apricot (one ingredient) versus a Fruit Roll-Up (13 ingredients, numbers 2, 3 and 4 of which are sugar or forms of added sugar). Or you might reflect that real yogurt has two or three ingredients (milk plus bacteria, with some jam or honey if you like) and that the number in Breyers YoCrunch Cookies n’ Cream Yogurt is unknowable (there are a few instances of “and/or”) but certainly at least 18."

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/03/26/op...f=opinion&_r=1

NS,Jane, thanks for the convo about the paleo diet, books etc. i've been tinkering with my diet about a week into my new AF life. I've always been interested in a healthy diet ( dispite the booze) and have managed to maintain a reasonably healthy diet and weight all of my life.

But I could be better. NS, your above post reminds very much of a book I read many years ago. It was called something like " vegetables, fish, sex and laughter". .....the only things in life you can never get enough of........I don't recall the author. Essentially he said, moderation is the key to a long life. Moderation, except the 4 items in the title. And not necessarily at the same time :H...........his joke, not mine.

He also said, the only diet is the 1/3......2/3 diet. In other words: 2/3 real food like vegetables, whole grains etc. unprocessed "real food".
And 1/3 treat food.

I agree with this, but think 1/3 may be too generous. That's still a lot of crap in the diet. Basically it's a principle.

NS, your quote rang a familiar tone when I read it. Thanks. So I will go and read some paleo diet theory before I do the groceries later today.

Cheers!!!

[peppersnow]

Newbies Nest

Hi everyone - 143...I tried to moderately quit 100 times but it never worked, at least not for me, but everyone's different. I wish you well with your plan.

In 12 hours, day 6 will be down for me AF. I don't feel like celebrating anything yet as I'm still very nervous about this. I've been trying to eat before I get hungry, which is hard at work, as I'm constantly in meetings and don't like to eat in front of others when they are not eating. But have decided the hell with modesty and manners while I get through this period.

I've also stuck to the supplement regimen recommended on this site, and feel like I'm constantly popping pills in front of people! I've been completely exhausted all week and going to be really early but this morning I felt some new energy for the first time since forever. It was a very different feeling than I'm used to in the morning, but in a good way. Its not like I felt like superwoman or anything, but going up and down the steps seemed a lot easier and less taxing than it has in a long time. Am thinking of hitting the gym tomorrow and see if I can get back into an exercise routine.

Good luck to all, and have a nice weekend!

[Rahulthesweet]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters

In Dubai. Coming here after 10 years ...absolutely shocked to see the process.Its like Singapore or hong Kong.

Sober and really tired .. Good night