Newbies Nest

[Rahulthesweet]

Hello Nesters,

I have been to a dark drak place. Bottom of a bit. Sad and sick feeling of uttur guilt and shame. I was in this place about 239 days ago.

It was election day here in our state in North India where I live. Its the first time I voted ! I always remember election days as dry days (licquer shops and bars dont serve AL) which they still are ... Except I was free this time. It was good to vote for the first time.

Today after 239 days of my freedom from my alcohol and about 67 years of my country's freedom from AL I feel maybe I am taking both for granted. But the giving a vote make me realize how much I value both freedom. Today concepts like free will, freedom speech, fundamental rights are like fresh air which maybe I take it for granted.

Our neighbors are Pakistan and china where citizen have no free will to choose and here was I for so many years cribbing on election day being a dry day.

Yes I have been to a dark dark place. I must not forget all the struggle ai have gone thru.

I am also part of rotary group. We started this in our side of town as young men group when all others were of eldery people. Proud and young in late 20s or early 30s we were new lids on the block. That club turned about 10 years old yesterday and we had a party. 10 years on the group has turn put to be an opposite of AA meeting. Everyone drinking with exception of few like me. I kinda felt quite normal NOT drinking. I guess I have now started taking sobriety as normal and granted as the freedom in my country.

Strange to see all these folks trappened to addiction. One friend for example has become a health freak. He started started workingout and running like crazy. I have been seeing him on Facebook becoming slim and fit and smart hunk. Talking to yesterday was cool as I felt he has found something which I am aiming now : fit and healthy. It was not a pleasant site to see him smoking and drinking like crazy.

Another fellow saw me with a lemonade and admitted he drinks everyday. I didn't say anything but felt like preaching.

Coming back late yesterday night and see Byrdlady post I can spnrelate to her post. Being around a bunch of people drinking and trapped I feel I have a secret knowledge.

All I can say to new bies: Abstaining is not about control. Infact I should call it freedom nor absatining. Sobriety after a while becomes like freedom which we enjoy and becomes a new norm. Cherish it, nurture it, protect it !

Today I cannot imagine myself NOT being sober ! And that me talking ME ... Who was in such a deep dark place from where it seemed impossible to come it ..

[Matt M.]

On that note~ I believe I will check in! Read back a couple of days, great stuff!
All is well for me, have a day filled with my kids and multiple sporting events. I feel so relieved that Im not going to have to schedule my drinking amongst all of this...I'm fortunate my children are still young, I have some making up to do!
Stay Hard! Matt

[little beagle]

Rahul sobriety is true freedom for me. I'm sorry you were in such a dark place. Many of your friends saw you not drink. Perhaps they will think about that and find the courage to do the same.
Good to see you Mossrose. I'm sorry for so many health issues in your family. But I am happy you are present for those who need you.
Mr. B I am glad you are here. This is a wonderful, supportive place. It has changed my life. It can do the same thing for you. You too can have the precious freedom Rahul was talking about. Freedom from addiction is a powerful thing. One I will never take for granted. Each day I come here to renew my commitment to it.

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Happy Saturday to all! I hope everyone has a good AF weekend plan ready to go

I am grateful to see you Mimi & MossRose!
I know you both have been dealing with some tough life issues. So happy to see you have kept AL out of your struggles. Having a clear head & conscience will only help you move forward with strength & grace. Please stick around & let us help in anyway we can.

I have a day full of chores ahead including hauling home chicken feed & straw for their muddy yard! Stella & the girls deserve the best
Wishing everyone a great AF Saturday!

Lav

[mimi911]

Thanks Lavande,
Life is hard enough right now that I can't add alcohol to the mix. Strange isn't it that since it didn't take my pain away I gave up on it and left it in the dust.

[peppersnow]

Hello Nesters,


All I can say to new bies: Abstaining is not about control. Infact I should call it freedom nor absatining. Sobriety after a while becomes like freedom which we enjoy and becomes a new norm.Today I cannot imagine myself NOT being sober ! And that me talking ME ... Who was in such a deep dark place from where it seemed impossible to come it ..

Rahul its so great to see your posts again - you are always so inspirational! I love the way you describe being sober as a new freedom. Where I work, drinking is very normal, but I also have several colleagues who are full-blown alcoholics. A ton of people I know also smoke marijuana recreationally, but I don't know anyone for whom its a problem. I don't - I tried it twice about 25 years ago and it had a really bad effect on me - made my heart race and I thought I was going to die. Anyway, a few days ago, our employer did random urinalysis tests on about 1/3 of our workforce, and several people came back positive for marijuana. I was arguing with an administrator about the equity issue...someone could have been drunk last night, but pass the UA test today. But because marijuana stays in the system so much longer, someone could have smoked weed 5 days ago and they fail their test. As I was arguing that this was unfair, I heard myself say, "And I'm not a biased person -- I'm 100% clean - I don't drink or smoke!"

Okay, so maybe I'm not completely unbiased, as I've lived how AL can destroy someone's life. But it felt SO good to be able to make that statement -- that I'm 100% sober. It felt like freedom, totally -- not weird, not uncomfortable, but liberating. 7 months ago I wouldn't have been able to imaging telling people I don't drink. In the early weeks and months of my quit, I was terrified of the stigma of telling anyone that I don't drink and paranoid about what they would think of me. But today, damn does it ever feel GOOD to make that announcement. I'm proud of how far I've come, but the journey isn't over, ever. The only people who think not drinking is weird are those who have a problem, because they can't imagine yet what life would be like without it. At least that's my theory.

Here's to freedom!

[abcowboy]

MAE everyone! Mimi and Moss, nice to meet you! :hiya:

I think my crazy autumn has finally slowed down and I can spend time doing things I like to do. Of course idle time gets my AV to whispering to me about having a nice cold one, so I do, Arnold Palmer's style! Winter is just around the corner in my neck of the woods, so Bubba, Hank, and I are heading to the farm this afternoon to winterize the RV for another long, cold winter. Then home for a nice smoked t-bone steak supper!

Seems pretty quiet on the boards since the new site has got operational, maybe some gave up on trying to get back in? I know I'll continue to log on and be accountable for staying AF, and hope all the lurkers and guests do the same. It's very hard to explain to a normal drinker what being an alcoholic means, and I'm finding it almost as hard explaining sobriety to those who still suffer! I can only hope my actions will show them that there is a better way!

Matt, haven't seen you around much, hope all is well! My son and his good friend (almost like a stepson to me) left this morning for a week long moose/elk/deer bush tent hunt in the far northwest part of the province! They aren't using a tent like I used to, taking along the 24' RV so they wouldn't have to "rough it" too much lol. Of course they wanted me to go along, but with the beverages flowing as they sit around the campfire in the evening, it's too early in my sobriety to temp myself that much. They'll be texting me pics of the camp and wildlife that they see, so I'll share as I get them. And my friend, we should really plan an Alberta hunt for you next year! There would at least be 2 AF hunters sitting around the campfire!

Hope everyone is enjoying a nice weekend, AF of course, and take a moment out of the day to offer a prayer to those who still suffer.....

[MossRose]

abcowboy - nice to meet you too. Hope to get to know you better. I used to be very active on MWO but have fallen away lately due to family obligations. I hope to be back regularly soon. I saw the post about your uncle and was inspired.

Matt - so glad to hear that you have come to your senses while your children are young. I wasn't as smart and it's been a long road. I've managed to repair my relationship with my sons, but I would give anything if I could go back and avoid the problem in the first place. Good for you!!

Mimi - PM if you need to. I recently ended a long-term marriage and went through hell. But I promise, it will get better. I'm a good listener, so if you need me, just reach out.

Lav - glad to be back. I've missed MWO so much. You probably won't be able to shut me up now

I spent the day finishing converting my son's room into my new craft room. I love it!! Have a great MAE all. xx

[Byrdlady]

Happy Sattidy, all!
Sarah, Mimi and Moss, great to see you!
TGAF, you wrote a few days ago about reaching out to someone here if you feel wobbly. I hope that everyone knows I am as close as a PM if you need propping up! We all are! Anyone who is in this nest enjoys helping others because it helps us, too. Please don't hesitate to reach out!
Having a nice relaxing day today!
Freedom from AL is achievable. To be able to sit here and enjoy my Saturday instead of worrying about my next drink and praying I dont overdo it is priceless! It didnt happen overnight, but it did happen! EVEN I got sober! I know you can do it!
Jane, where are you! Get back here!
Remember, the key to this thing is to read and post! Every post matters!

Pie, great job on your 100 days!!!! That is EPIC!
:fist: Keep fighting!!

Hugs to all!!! Byrdie

[Guitarista]

Yo Nesters near and not so far.

Congratulations Pie on the big 100, and Elvis on the big 14 days booze free. Bravo friends!

Have a great weekend everyone. The word freedom has been mentioned quite a bit the last couple of days. It is true. This is how you feel, and this is what happens to you when you stop drinking, and commit to staying stopped.

Freedom. Liberation. Clarity. Pride.

L8tr, g8tr's!

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Glad to see happy sober newbies (and oldbies) checking in!!!
I had a nice day, great weather & had my son & his family here for dinner. Fun times
If I was still sitting around hugging a wine bottle absolutely none of this would be possible.
So I remain focused & become more grateful every single day!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[Matt M.]

Good evening from Texas

As always some great therapeutic reading in the nest.

Cowboy~ Thanks for checking on me, I'm doing well! An opportunity to hunt in Alberta would be a hunt/trip of a lifetime, and I truly appreciate it. I humbly and gladly except! We can work on that over the next year. You sound good brother!

Moss~ Thanks, I think your plenty smart because you have put the plug in the jug and made your amends. I believe we all have many regrets from our practicing days, I don't want to dwell on them, but I also will never forget them~ I need that reminder. Your doing great!

Sorry if I missed any replies to anyone.
Had a great day being there for my family today with so much going on in there young lives ( 14,12,7) with extracurricular activities.
More than anything I can look forward to waking up in the morning, and not feel like a douchebag!

And that's all I got to say about that!

[Pavati]

Rahul – I love that idea of freedom, not abstaining. I think of sobriety as freedom, too: freedom from thinking about alcohol all of the time. Sorry you’re in a dark place, but so glad you’re not drinking through it.

Glad you checked in, Mimi and MossRose – you both make good points that life still brings hard, hard times, but alcohol is not going to make those times any better – you can deal with it and your emotions.

Pepper – You make a good point. At one time I talked with my counselor about trying weed as a way to relax without alcohol, and I quickly decided that the new normal is about getting through life without having to numb myself. I just filled out a survey for something and got to answer the question about alcohol in the house with “zero, I don’t drink.” It was very satisfying!

Matt – So glad you get to be there for your kids growing up. That is one of the things I am most grateful for – being present for my kids in a way I wasn’t when I was drinking.

Cowboy – what a great adventure for your son.

Byrdie – that vision of you in taped up shoes is hilarious. That sounds like something I’d do. I hope you have since treated yourself to a new pair. That conference sounds like a nightmare sort of, but I went out to dinner with a bunch of drinkers lately and it WAS sort of satisfying to watch them all get more and more loud and obnoxious and then feel like crap the next day. I felt so good. Schadenfraude! Contentment in someone else’s discomfort… Maybe I shouldn’t have typed that out loud…

G – I’m adding Pride to my list.

Congrats, Pie! Whoot on 100 days. And Elvis, good to see you going strong, too.

Hi, Lav, NS and everyone else.

My cousin’s husband isn’t drinking, and when we were alone this weekend he said to me (knowing I haven’t been drinking) “so, did you do a 12 step program?” It took me by surprise as no one has been that direct with me before, but it started a gratifying conversation with someone who also had to (GOT TO) quit recently. It was a giant step for me, coming out from behind the “I just was drinking too much so I thought I’d stop lah di dah”” that I’ve been saying to most people.

And here’s to waking up in the morning not feeling like a douchebag. What a way to wake up.

xo
Pav

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Sunny & chilly over in my part of the nest ~ nice

Pav & Matt, it truly is wonderful to start the day without having to remove the douchebag, HA HA!
Yet another terrific reason to be grateful & keep your quit going

No special plans for me today but I do have plenty to do to keep me out of trouble.
Wishing everyone a great AF Sunday!

Lav
65 months smoke free today - yay!

[Guitarista]

Hiya Nesters,

Congratulations Lav on turfing the smokes! One of the best things i ever did. Such a big killer as we get older.

My Luck! Congratulatons on one year booze free today! Bravo friend. Sensational stuff.

Speech! How did you do it?

Take it easy y'all. G