Newbies Nest

[Byrdlady]

Morning, Nesters!

I have noticed along this path, that there are so many mine fields out there....and a big one is believing everything you hear!
My hubs didn't think I was an alcoholic! (yet he packed his bags and left because of my alcohol intake). In other words, no one knows the despair of alcoholism if you aren't one. I am sure our spouse's are trying to be supportive by telling us we aren't alkies, but none of us would be on this site if we weren't. Once we get the AL blinders off you will see clearly in that rear-view mirror what was going on. You will also recognize this in others. Just like I don't know what it's like to have a gambling addiction, I don't think anyone that isn't an alkie can tell me the extent of my problem. Hells bells, I even passed some of those quizzes!! (and I am a stage 3 alkie). So don't believe everything you hear from the outside world, this is one of those things you have to LIVE to understand. If you are reading my words here, you understand!
This is something that I have to do for me....like Ava said, it's my problem, no one else's and I am a steward of my body and actions. I KNOW what I need to do (and NOT do). If you stay AF, next year this time you will be looking back saying, 'Free at last, free at last, thank god almighty! Free at last!' It will have been the best gift you've ever given yourself!

It's Friday here in NC! Bolster up your PLANS for the weekend! It's only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille.com. Stay strong! Nothing is worth blowing your quit! Hugs, Byrdie

[daisy45]

Good to hear Fin. Feeling that way too! Got a decent nights sleep which helps soooo much....really needed it. I am going to have to exercise more discipline around bedtime.
Looking forward to the weekend....lots to do in preparation for Christmas. Really, as much as it is party season, it is also good that we are so busy right now....

[NoSugar]

Thanks for sharing your music, Fin. I like it very much.

Daisy, if you use an iPad or other electronic device like that, you might find it helps to get some of those orange filter glasses or not use it for a couple hours before you want to fall asleep.

Our work also assessed one potential cause of this new and worrying epidemic. Although any type of light stops you feeling sleepy, research has shown that light towards the blue end of the spectrum is especially effective at keeping you awake because it suppresses the production of the sleep-inducing hormone melatonin. Unfortunately, computer screens, tablets, smartphones, flat-screen televisions, and LED lighting all emit large amounts of blue light, and so it's important to avoid them before bedtime. We also asked respondents whether they used these devices in the two hours before going to bed. Worryingly, nearly 80% of respondents routinely use these devices during this period. Among 18- to 24-year-olds this figure increases to a remarkable 91%.It is vital that people limit their exposure to blue light in the few hours before they go to bed. If you must use your smartphone, tablet or computer late in the evening, try turning down the brightness, ensuring that the device is at least 12 inches from your eyes, and using an app that dims the lighting on your screen at night.
However, my guess is that many people simply won't have the self-control to leave their devices alone before bedtime. The good news is that there is a simple solution. Amber-tinted glasses that block blue light are highly effective at improving sleep quality and mood. They may be commonplace within a few years.

http://www.theguardian.com/commentis...rs-early-death

[KENSHO]

You're such a wealth of info. NS - thank you for sharing!

Rock on FIN - I'm right behind you! - You too Shoshanna!

Good morning everyone! I felt awful last night. Anxious was an understatement and I was craving a drink - but I didn't have one because I don't drink. Instead, I went to bed. Thank goodness I didn't try to analyze it or stay up later - I woke up feeling much better.

Thank you all for thoughts on spouses and other people in our lives. It helps a lot to hear your similar stories and strategies.

Happy Friday!

[narilly]

Fin- Way to go! Glad to see you posting and feeling good.

Shoshanna- that's tough with a drinking family. Hang in there, Enjoy your girls. They are lucky to have a sober mom.

Last night I went to a party where the host knows I am not drinking but offered me mulled wine. "there is only a bit of alcohol in it" Oh boy, just a little? Really? Then I would need to drink the whole bowl of it to get the buzz I would need after the first sip! I just smiled and said no, I'm good with my Perrier. Its amazing how non Alkies just don't get it. Obviously if I could just have a bit of alcohol and stop I would not have a problem!

My spouse is driving me crazy too but he is supportive of my non drinking and he has cut back about 90% of his drinking. We used to drink a lot together. He made me mad this morning though and as I obsessed about it all morning I started to think I would go to my neighbor's house after work and talk about it and drink some wine like we used to. OMG! I don't want to do that...but I DO want to at the same time.
Anyway, I logged into MWO and read and am posting. Thank goodness for MWO. it is such a good reminder about why I should not drink tonight. A reminder to me that I don't drink.

Talk soon.

[Byrdlady]

Narilly,
The Prize Patrol just gave your award over there, but here it is again for you here!
:hangingmonkey:
Hang in there! It's easy to want to drink AT people, but that doesn't do a thing to get even with them! It just flies up in our faces! (like the 34 longs when I run!) So I'm glad you recognized a big trigger and came on here! 8 months is terrific! I hope you are as proud of that accomplishment as we are! It was around then that all my 'tough patches' were over and things smoothed out tremendously. Of course, there is always the occasional BOOB that says or does something to set me off, but those are now just thoughts. (not to be acted upon). GREAT JOB!!

Fin is clocking in with double digits, we are thrilled for you! That was some mighty fine picking in that song you posted for us! Do you have to make faces in order to hit those really high notes on the mandolin? I was making them for you while listening! I am so proud of you for hitting the 10 day mark! :horn:You are hitting all the right notes!
Sho, keep it going!
Daisy, sounding GREAT!
Kensho, well done!
Everyone is sounding terrific as we wind up another week! You will never regret NOT drinking! Byrdie

[MossRose]

NS - thanks for the post on amber-tinted glasses. I learned something new, and valuable, today.

Ava - This time with Robert is precious. You are fully present, and giving him much love, and comfort. :hug: Isn't it wonderful to experience it all - the good, and the not so good - without the anesthesia of AL? I know that sounds odd, but I would rather feel the full range of emotions, even when it hurts, rather than the dulled-down version provided by a drink. Hang in there friend. Much love winging its way to you.

Matt, I enjoyed the article. Thanks for sharing.

Everyone else sounds strong and determined.

Dinner is simmering in the crock pot. It smells wonderful. The weekend is full, so I'm going to take it easy tonight. I heard a couple pieces of good news today, so I am happier. For the time being, life is calm and I am grateful.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Good going Fin
Narilly, glad you made it through a rough moment. Why mess up your progress now after a fabulous 8 month AF stretch? Good for you!

MossRose, we have to be grateful for those good news moments. Sometimes they seem few & far between!

It took me until 10 pm but I finally got both grandsons to sleep. Day 1 done, now to rest up for day two with them. Grateful for a clear head or I would be missing all these precious moments.

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Pavati]

Hi, All:

Old lady moment - I came here and read last night, had some things to say, but apparently I didn't post. Oh, well. I think my kid came in and I forgot to come back.

Fin - Really like the song, and love the sentiment - we were made to fade. Did you play all of the instruments? Love that mandolin. Congratulations, and I'm glad you're feeling so great.

Kensho - I've been antsy and anxious, too. I am not a big fan of December as a month (might think differently if I was down under), and I have not been exercising because of an injury. It is healing, however, and I'll be out soon. I'm so glad you didn't drink because you don't drink!

Nar - Eight months is STUPENDOUS! You are a positive force here, and you demonstrate how it is done by coming here and posting about your feelings BEFORE you turn to drink. Sorry you had a tough one. I had that moment the other day. My husband pissed me off, and I almost detoured to a friend's house instead of coming home. I had this flash to last year, me crying in my beer, drinking and telling her all about a fight we had had. Thank GOODNESS I can deal with the fights better in the moment, and thank goodness I don't have to do drink to get help from a friend.

Byrdie - Your 34 longs crack me up. I was thinking I could use some of that butt velcro for something else... One thing I was going to say last night was exactly what you did say - I don't think that anyone who hasn't experienced alcohol dependence or addiction could ever REALLY relate. They don't do all the reading and talking that we do, and they think that if we can go this long without we MUST be ok. I have to be very direct with my husband - I CAN'T drink. He says he gets it, but who knows.

Sho - I had to google your handle - I never saw that movie. I'll have to check it out. Congratulations on day 8!

Lav - Quietly heading to 6 years. LOVE IT.

OK. Another sober Friday. Just ate a great meal with the family and heading in for a movie. Friday is just another day. Take care of yourselves, and don't drink, No Matter What!

Pav

[Matt M.]

Good morning to some and good evening to others.
Checking in, been a busy weekend thus far.
Nar~ congrats on 8, I appreciate all you do for us in our little group.

Alcohol
I can choose to let it CONFINE me, REFINE me, DEFINE me, OUTSHINE me, or I can choose to move on and leave it behind me.

Today I will choose the last sentence. Make it a great one my friends and stay hard!

[open halo]

No Sugar thanks for the article regarding the effects of alcohol on women and men, it really resonated with me as in my younger days I was known as a girl who could keep up drinking with the boys, no one seemed to notice or care about how totally inebriated I would get, I could and did drink a lot! I have no idea why this was for me and others a sense of pride.

Well it's a new start, I went to two Christmas parties last night and no AL, didn't even have the urge, surprsingly!! Many comments but right now I couldn't give a crap if people think I should have a drink or two, because I am doing this quit for ME! Wishing the nest a wonderful AF weekend

[Byrdlady]

Afternoon, Nesters!
I spent the morning making shortbread cookies! Yummo! I have them in gift bags now and will take them around this afternoon to the neighbors. I love to take my baked goods to folks who aren't expecting it. I find a lot of joy in that, and it keeps me busy and out of trouble.

Soft Focus, not sure how to respond to your question, as you know, I got the ultimatum from my husband: Him or AL. It was a hard choice, if you can believe that. I couldn't conceive of NEVER drinking again. At the time, I was angry at him for putting me in that position. With some distance from AL now, I can tell you he actually saved my life. I was definitely headed down a path. I don't know what it's going to take for you to finally come to terms with stopping AL completely. If we looks at the facts, you have been fighting this battle for a while. You joined and participate in an online forum for AL abuse. You have tried to quit but continue to test the waters. You feel better when you don't drink, yet you drink anyway. If I may ask you a question..... It's a yes or no question, and needs no qualification or explanation. Would you say that you are an alcoholic? B

[Lavande]

Good afternoon Nesters,

Soft Focus, I think the difference is 'acceptance'. When you finally get to the point where you truly & honestly believe that your switch is broken & you can no longer consume AL safely then you either have to accept the truth & quit or keep on drinking until something terrible happens. This disease is progressive, there is no good ending except to quit entirely.
I feel tremendous gratitude that I finally accepted the truth.

Glad to see someone is baking Byrdie. I can't today as I am up to my eyeballs in stinky little boys, LOL

Greetings to everyone & sending wishes for a good AF Saturday for all!

Lav

[daisy45]

Back from another days shopping....wrecked! Only shopped 2 days and the first I left my bank card in a perfume shop and today when I got to the mall I realised I left it at the petrol station yesterday! Got it back both times....thankfully.
Well Byrdie, your famous day 13 for me....glad to be here! Haven't looked back this time.....on my guard and keeping busy...

[BeachGirly]

I wish I lived next door to Bydie - love cookies.

All very good here!

Sorry - off to work