Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Hi, all:

Those decorations are amazing, Byrdie!

LuckyMe - I was going to say the same thing. What's five minutes. And just because you have friends around? Surely they have to take a shower or have some alone time SOMEtime? Just give us a check in...

Mr. G - I am signed up. For everyone else, I RESISTED this meditation series because of the cheese factor and my overall fear of all things Oprah (soft-focus, self help mumbo jumbo), but my sister kept insisting, and lo and behold, the meditation series is EXCELLENT! And what could be better than finding grace through gratitude - their current focus. Let's give it a try, everyone. (PS - Other Oprah things I have resisted include the book Wild which I also loved - maybe she's on to something...)

Okey dokey, Nest. Take care of yourselves, and DON'T DRINK!

Pav

[Byrdlady]

Hey kids. Sorry to break the news, but my paining back broke my resolve. Got off work and got myself some beer. Thanks for all your help. Family is coming this weekend and I was a bit freaked about that....going to just be chill with the drinks and get through this round of life. Will be back to day 1 AF in a couple of weeks. The Byrdie moon will have to wait. Thanks for everything Ginger and Chief! Check in again soon. Ja

LuckyMe (Ja),
I looked back to see if I could find what happened when you left us last year. I think you were on Day 7 and after that fall, it was a year (almost to the day) before we got you back. You had some company coming in then also. I see enough of a pattern to he very concerned. Please stick with us. Dont let AL take another day of your precious life. It will not rest until it has taken every last thing we cherish. Be strong and fight this with every ounce of strength you've got. We will he right beside you. Hugs dear lady, Byrdie

[LavenderBlue]

Hey Lucky - count me in the group that thinks sticking around might be the better plan. I suppose that sounds odd when I haven't been posting as often lately, but I tell ya I was here and posting daily for a good chunk of time. I used to tell myself that I sure spent more than 5 minutes a day on my booze habit, so I wasn't actually losing any time by coming here! Honestly, even where I'm at I feel better the days I do post, the power of so many people who understand and are rooting for you is a pretty amazing thing.

Also wanted to thank you guys for the kind words on my 11 months; I can't believe it's almost been a year! Seems longer and shorter than that, but important things tend to feel that way. The idea that I've been sober that long doesn't want to fit in my head. Not in a bad way at all! Just that's really pretty amazing to me. I wouldn't be here without this site and the wonderful folks in the Nest, I can promise you that. <3

Yay for all the milestones, and especially for abcowboy who is so spot on noticing when the rest of us hit them.

Other than that, still pretty tired over here. I average 10,000-14,000 steps a day when I work (I know, if my phone didn't say it, I'd never believe it!) and tomorrow is my first day off in a while. I'm still getting used to it; but it feels good knowing it's good for me.

Lilbit, I haven't caught up with everything this week but I did catch your news. Ugh; but know I'm sending all kinds of love and support your way, too.

Take care all! My sobriety is one of the best gifts I've ever given myself, and I don't say that lightly even if it sounds cliche. It sounds SUPER corny to say I believe everyone here can give themselves that gift and are worthy of it...but I'm too tired to care how sappy I sound. :P

[LavenderBlue]

Howdy Nesters!
I decided a while ago that it's important for me to teach the girls (who are often people pleasers) that they don't have to do what everyone else wants/expects from them. And they are pretty good at listening to their gut. When my daughter got home yesterday she told me first about what a great day it was.. then she looked at me and said, "you don't have to feel bad about not going, mama. i promise".. I think it really was ok with her..

Oh, also on this - I tried to comment on it before work, but ran out of time. I grew up with a single mother who also wasn't really big on situations that call for small talk. I consider it an incredibly important thing that she let herself say, "No," to things, whether because she was tired or otherwise not up to it. It helped teach me that my mom was a person with feelings, too; plus it gave me the chance to do something kind for her by being ok with that, "No." I've struggled with people pleasing most of my life, but I remember as a kid how much it meant to me that my mom understood when I didn't feel like doing something social. I seem to recall asking her to be my "excuse" a few times, when I was still learning how to just say no, having her understand that was so important to me.

I'm glad to hear things worked out and you feel better, just wanted to throw in two cents from a daughter who is really glad her mom sometimes said no.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

The day was warm but fairly decent, now the rain has moved in. Hope it doesn't hang around too long
I'll send some rain down your way to cool things off for you Byrdie - I want your glue to dry!

Cowboy, CONGRATS on your 6 AF months - yay!!!
I'm very happy for you & glad to know you!

Lil, I've been raising chickens for nearly 11 years now & I'll tell you they do a LOT of talking! Couldn't swear to 30 different sounds but there are a few loudmouths in the herd, ha ha!!
I hope your week of treatments goes as well as possible. Give Joe a scratch for me :hug:

Lucky, please check in daily - even if it's just to saw hello. You need your tribe right now!!

LavB, enjoy your day off tomorrow!

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!!

Lav

[little beagle]

I have never regreted the time spent on MWO instead of drinking. So much easier and fun. Nor have I ever regreted not drinking.

[available]

Evening nesters

Another busy day and a day that was the best and has made me happy. I met an mwoer for coffee today and he is as much of an inspiration in person as he is on here. I may have talked too much though ha ha.

Popped in to see Robert and his sister is visiting tomorrow so he is very excited and it was lovely to see.

I even received a few compliments on my latest knitting creation of my scarf. A knitter can spot a knitter a mile off i am discovering and it starts some great conversations.

LC i won a free 6 month gym membership at my work and i used to swap visiting robert before work and gym at lunch and vice versa but he is not awake early anymore so i gym before work and i feel much better that i have gotten it over with. All i want to do in the afternoon is get home so it suits me. Opens at 6am but i have a swipe card that i can use anytime. I always talked about joining a gym but drinking cut into that. I vaguely remember spending a couple of grand to go to the gym twice once and it was a 12 month membership.

LB i am with you, i have never regretted being on here and one could say i am addicted now to MWO, i have to have my daily fix.

Lav i so never wanted to listen to you but i am so glad i took your advice and listened to your very wise words, finally!

Have a great one. x

[abcowboy]

Just wanted to jump in and add my agreement about daily MWO appearance, it was and still is, very important to my recovery! Even if you think you have nothing to say, I can think of at least 3 threads, Roll Call, Gratitude, or 24 Hour Club" where you can pop in, reaffirm your desire to quit, and just read. The only time I can see myself not here daily is if there was no internet service, and then I would most likely drive somewhere to find it lol.

El, have fun being a tour guide, but find time for yourself and us too please! I saw this picture on another site and immediately thought of you!

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Have a great MAE my friends, keep it between the lines eh!

[Lavande]

Good Tuesday morning Nesters!

Gloomy looking outside, oh well. A thunder storm woke me at 4:30 this morning - that's not nice, ha ha!

Ava, I'm sure you're not the only one not wanting to listen to me
I stay around MWO to keep my head on straight & to try to get the message out to everyone. Life is so much better without AL, it's a choice we all can make

Wishing everyone a great AF Tuesday!

Lav

[NoSugar]

If reading and posting on MWO is one aspect of your support system, checking in daily might be optional. Perhaps on days a person goes to in-person meetings or reads a drinker's memoir, cyber-support would be optional. However, if like me, this is IT, I think it is risky to back away for a time. Getting free of addiction involves actually changing your brain and repeated exposure to stories of the consequences of drinking and the benefits of not drinking is part of that. Even more important are the brain changes that occur when you think about and type out your questions, concerns, or words of encouragement. Repeating those thoughts and ideas helps them become your reality. But especially early on, those new connections aren't very stable and need nurturing and attention or it is too easy to slip back into the default mode that most of us were in for a long time. I personally intend to keep my brain in its current state even though it takes some time each day (and yes, I did post from the ladies' room of a fancy-shmancy restaurant one time in my effort to keep going - that was at around the 4 month mark). I'm not willing to run the risk of going back. I've read too many stories here of people who felt like they were fine and quit doing the work to maintain what they'd gained and eventually ended up having to start over. Just because we can inactivate the old neural pathways by not drinking, the connections are still there and drinking again can put us right back to where we were. I have 4-6 hour longer days now than I had a couple years ago. There's more than enough time to check in here.

Have a great day, Nesters!

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Being accountable IS a key part of staying sober. I check in every single day, many times, in fact, while I'm working. If there is going to be a day I CAN'T post for whatever reason, I text or email someone on here to check in for me. It's THAT important. To me, anyway.

Over the weekend I was doing some reading on here and the stats are not good as it relates to our condition. There is a very high rate of relapse and that scares the white right off my teeth. However, there are some folks ahead of me (for whom I have THE greatest respect!) and they post daily, OR they are active in some sort of support system. I am convinced from what I have seen right here that pulling away from support is the beginning of the end of sobriety. SURE, there are a few exceptions, but on this one, I'm not willing to take that gamble. I worked WAY TOO LONG AND HARD on this quit to blow it by being slack. This takes work....
Even at 54 months sober, I get THOSE THOUGHTS still! If I didn't have some skin in the game, it would be easy to pull away, and test the waters. I've seen this 1000 times! I have the choice! Like Lav, Ava, NS, the P-Ava Twins, I enjoy checking in here. This is a community where I DO belong! There are people here who know things about me that would be unimaginable to my 3D friends and family. Stay connected! It is a major key to this!

I hope everyone has an easy day! Byrdie

[Byrdlady]

Cross post, NS!!!! SAME MESSAGE, DIFFERENT WRAPPER!!!!!

[lifechange]

Hi Nesters,
great posts and I agree 100%.
I've been one of the people who decides at some point that she doesn't need MWO any more. And always with less than 4 months AF under my belt! Either because I was feeling good and strong and thought I could hack it alone, or because I was going to visit relatives, or because I secretly thought I might not be as bad as I'd previously thought, or I felt that I couldn't connect, etc. etc. Each and every time it led to my drinking again. And to be honest, at least a few of the times, that was my intention. I never would have admitted it up front and it may not have been a full blown plan.. but still, it was in my mind.
Lucky, I am worried about you taking time away at this point if you really want to stay sober. You have been so positive and happy with yourself the past week+, feeling like you want another chance at living. And because you are early on in your quit., I think it's important to make checking in and keeping yourself accountable a priority. At least 30 days like you planned.. You can definitely find the time if you want it!!! I know I can.. and if I start telling myself that I don't have the time, it's a WARNING!.. Big hugs to you..

[Byrdlady]

Finally got the chair together but dont look too closely at it. Also the cake Im going to put in on.

[lifechange]

That's so beautiful, Byrdie!!