Newbies Nest

[Rahulthesweet]

Hello nesters,

I see some strange vibes here. I can't believe someone can go out so loudly against few regulars here. I can only raise my objection and urge all members to maintain cordial relationship.

This forum is here to help people who want help. For so many of us including me this place has been a life changing experience. The road to recovery is hard and difficult and along the way we need the support we can gather. Behan as I see your posts have been nothing but a sort of an attack to the few members. It's meant to hurt and raise emotions. I don't know the background behind it but if it's is just to show your desperation or frustration (for not able to give up AL) then I can only say please vent out your frustration but not by attacking other members.

Members you have been making few personal remarks have helped me personally in desperate times. Small suggestions or lists of encouragement goes long way in solving the problem for which we all are here.

I therefore would urge all to maintain coordial relationship on this forum.

[Marylou123]

Hi Nesters,

Just caught up. Wow.

Star - a heartfelt welcome, or I should say, welcome back. I tried so many times to quit but it was here I've had success and feel so close to everyone. (With one major exception, and that's today - in 19 mos here, this is the first time I've seen that kind of behavior. That kind of anger is so unhealthy.)

NS - I am on day three of no sweetener in my coffee!! I was a licorice fiend at the beginning of my quit but the sugar crush has subsided considerably. This is a good thing. I actually ran out of Truvia and have decided to give it a try.

Ava - I hope you are able to balloon with Robert tomorrow. You are such a wonderful lady. Not only are you present for Robert, but you are here for us as well.

Addy - Wow, 51 is so young. I couldn't agree more about not being clouded by AL anymore and being able to handle the tough and the easy. I have so much to be thankful for too - to the love and support I've found here along with so much more that has come with my sobriety. FYI - Dr Oz says drinking a glass of AL-free beer one hour before bed is supposed to help people fall asleep quicker. I've never been a good sleeper (I was good at passing out though) but I don't like the taste of beer. Apparently the good sleep aspect has to do with the hops. Sometimes I'll have a cup of camomile tea and it helps a little.

Rahul - yes, yes, yes! One of my goals in becoming AF was to respond rather than react. I have gotten better at that and try to choose my words with more consideration.

Brydie, LilB, Jane, Matt, Dutch, Pauly -- be well.

Greetings also to those I haven't mentioned and lurkers too.

This weekend DH and I are having diner with a couple we met at the retreat. New friends -- whoot whoot!!

TTFN - happy Friday.

[Starfish1]

Thanks, Mary Lou! What a thoughtful post....And Congratulations on 19 months! That is AWESOME!

I agree that MWO is a great place to get well. I probably need to stick to posting (and reading) in the nest only for a little while, until I get my "sea legs". I hope that angry poster feels better tomorrow.

I have had a pretty good day and hope to have a restful night. My weekend plans are to stick close to home and catch up on some reading, do some housework, and enjoy my pets.

Thanks for everyone's support!

xoxo

[Samstone]

Let's use the Ignore function and move on.

Star, I hope you're up and ready for day 2 of the rest of your much better life! I've thought about you so often since you left and have been hoping you're doing well. I'm sorry you're not right now but know you can get back there again.

LC, I'm glad to hear you're feeling better. Enjoy what's left of summer!

Take care of yourselves out there and ignore your AV and others who aren't helping you achieve your goals - NS

The ignore function is one of the better features here. I see none of that bullshit. I see there's been a post but no ugly unjustified
words appear. What a waste of time even conversing with that type of bullshit. Started over in 100 Dayers. and I sure as hell hit the ignore button then. It may be that he/she be drunk is a reason, but it sure ain't no excuse. Bad energy, ain't got time for it. Nuff said, all I'm gonna say.

Sam

[Dutch1988]

Don't know what the deal is but I have just been feeling really down and out the past couple of days. I am constantly thinking about drinking, which is a shame when I haven't been for five in a half months. My wife and daughter are staying at the inlaws because her little brother goes back to college soon and she wants to see him. so I have the house all to myself tonight, that would definitely been a time to drink without worrying about restraint a few months back. Now I am going to try and pray that my disciplines are strong and I simply workout out drink some tea and hangout on here.

By the way, I scrolled the Behan thread, and let me reassure you people ruining my way out, he is so ass backwards it's hilarious. I've always considered most of you the equivalent of a Sempai, which for us martial artists means the one who has walked the path before you. I never took anything as gospel, I always took advice on here as someone who cares grabbing your shoulder with some good advice before you go do something stupid. As always, thanks for being a place I can vent.

[jane27]

Dutch,
I'm glad you came on and posted about how you are feeling. This is one of those times when the accumulated time you have in your sobriety bank pays off in spades. Opt to shelve the negative feelings for now because they are not as big as they seem. I've gone to sleep when I've had a challenging spell before; 3 hours later, the mood had left the building. The truth is that it hasn't all been roses for the 5 1/2 months either; but all together, I'll bet its been waaaaaaaay better than any 5 1/2 months of your life when drinking was a full time job. Do what you know- bust out your tools, get through it. It (the power) is totally in you. xoxoxo

[All done drinking]

Dutch,

Reminds me of triggers. Mine used to be husband coming home late. Then it seemed ok to have the excuse to have a drink or two to relax because he was going to be late. Sounds like when your wife was away it was a time for you to drink. Be aware of that thinking as you are going back to that memory and it's causing this craving. Shake it up. Go work out and get busy on a project, anything, but don't give yourself too much time to think when you have a trigger firing at you. Stay strong!

Addy

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I had a great day with my girls - such a change of pace after hanging out with my grandsons so much lately, ha ha

Dutch, keep your thoughts positive, stay in the present because it really helps. Are you eating properly being on your own? Don't allow yourself to fall off your plan - you have done so well.

Sending wishes for a safe night in the nest for everyone!

Lav

[LavenderBlue]

Super quick flyby tonight - work is kicking my butt extra hard with the heat, and I've been juggling a few writing projects. Typing that here has just reminded me to be careful not to overcommit or let myself get too fried, actually.

Star, glad you came back, this is a great place to be!

Dutch, I hit some really crappy and/or flat times pretty close to where you are. It honestly WILL pass short term, and will happen less often after more time. I used to think of it at delayed healing, and try to do the same things I did at the beginning like watch my eating and sleeping, and read here more often. Sending good thoughts your way!

And a good night to everyone in the Nest, time for me to get some sleep!

[available]

Afternoon nesters

Seems to be a bug in the nest, where is the spray?

We did it! What a wonderful wonderful morning for a balloon ride. For myself that suffered such bad anxiety and is petrified of heights, it was the best experience of my life. To share it with one so dear to me was a memory that i will treasure forever. Robert is over the moon and the staff were so considerate and caring of his needs. I will treasure today forever.

now i am exhausted, been up since 3am and full of adrenalin.

Off for a nap, take care everyone.

oh Dutch, i felt after the months went by that i experienced the 'what nows', it seemed such a long time not to drink and i loved not drinking but really was this it. Well give it time, live for today and believe us when we say it only bets better as time moves on. you are still healing from the al you consumed for years, take it day by day. i know that if i was still drinking, today would never have happened and if it did it would not have meant as much to me as what it has done sober.

[Pavati]

Hi, Nest:

STARFISH! Welcome back. I am so so glad you're back. How are you feeling today?

Hooray, Ava and Robert. I am SO glad you got to make that trip. What a wonderful trip to take with a wonderful friend.

Dutch - I was VERY flat for a while there 5 - 7 months or so. Jane makes a good point - take advantage of your experiences as a sober person, ride the meh times out, and you'll never be sorry.

LC - I LOVE LOVE your post, and am so glad that you are working through things. I have gotten into yoga and often have a good cry with a shoulder stand or after a good class. Finding healthy ways to release is SO important.

Hi, Sam.

Happy Friday, all.

Pav

[Dutch1988]

Ava I am glad you and Robert finally got out there.

Well I did it, came home, worked out, ate a nice dinner my wife left for me(guess she still loves me haha) and finishing my preferred drink of choice(a slowly melting pint of ben and jerry's). Appreciate everyone mentioning how they felt flat/this is it feeling. I definitely can relate, tired of feeling off and on. I feel like some weeks I take two steps forward and then the next week its 2 steps back. I felt so down all day, ticked off my wife with my bad attitude, was short with the 2 year old, and half assed it at work all day. I don't know how I did any of this when I was drinking, I don't want to do it at all sober.

[Mr Vervill]

Ava,
So, so happy for you and Robert! You will never forget! This memory will soon eclipse the sad times.

[Marylou123]

Good Morning!

So much to smile about this morning. Big shout out to Ava and Dutch for that! I'm so happy you, Ava, got to experience the balloon ride with Robert. I think you've created a memory for all of us. And Dutch, way to go -- I'm grateful every time I work through tough emotions, or just a general pissy attitude, without turning back to a bottle of wine. What used to be just another excuse for me I now realize is life!

A quick note to newbies and those who may be reading but haven't joined in (what we call lurkers): sometimes it might seem like there's a clique here and you might feel like you're walking into a party where you don't know anyone. Please come in. All are welcome to this safe place of healing. We all have one great big thing in common and every story/situation resonates with another or sometimes everyone. A year ago, I was one week away from my divorce being final. The notice from the court said, "Please allow five minutes for this hearing." Five minutes to legally end 22 years of marriage -- 22 years that had been destroyed primarily due to MY loving the bottle more than cherishing my husband, my marriage.

What a difference a year makes. And it all started with one day of sobriety -- then another day, and another, etc. Having the support and sometimes the tough love of both those that came before, and those that have come since, keeps me grounded. I still don't venture far from this Nest - maybe an occasional book review -- because this is where I feel safe and not judged. This is where my friends are -- even those I haven't yet met and new ones to come.

So if you're here but waiting to come in, the door and our arms are open.

With gratitude and love,
ML

P.S. We did not get divorced. It keeps getting better.

[Lavande]

Good Saturday morning Nesters!

Sunny & pleasant here so far although another heat wave is in the works for next week - oh well.

Ava, I was so happy to see your pics, Robert smiling & looking so happy. Cherish the memories, you are a wonderful friend to him :hug:

Dutch, aren't you happy today that you worked your way thru yesterday's angst? We are helping others when we help ourselves

Marylou, your gratitude is showing

Hello to everyone & wishing for a great AF day for all!

Lav