Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I just heard that we are actually supposed to have a partly sunny day tomorrow, ha ha!!!! I'll keep my fingers crossed anyway.

Byrdie, take a breather lady - you deserve one
Everything is going to be OK, I can feel it in my old bones!

Kensho, your description of your day sounded a lot like mine used to be. It is hard to wear so many hats, amazing that any of us survive those years when the kids were growing up. Somehow we do though & live to talk about it here & there. You are doing great!

Justme, it still feels a little like winter around here. It has been one weird spring. There's a possibility of frost next week - seriously!!
Stay close to the nest regardless of the season, we will weather it together

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!
I have to be up & out by 7 am to go watch my granddaughter for the day - oh the fun!!

Lav

[Justme Again]

Hi Nest

Another boring day at work and my mind full of AF thoughts.

It is as if I can finally focus on things that needed to be done years ago. Daily living, finances and even career goals. Now I have solutions. Sounds stupid to admit to myself that I didn't have time or energy, because all that time and energy was to protect, justify and continue my addiction.

I also don't want to chat with people at work anymore. Before I used it to hide my hangovers. Talking about "interesting" stuff and wanting people to like me.

I like the sober me. They don't have to. And I've got nothing to hide. So, no chit-chat anymore...

[Eloise]

Yeah, great post and glad you are doing fine!
Looks like you have a nice horse & hound to keep you straight.
:congrats:

Just popped in to say hi. it's been quite some time since i visited here last. I know that the most common reason for people to leave is a re-lapse I am happy to say that i am still sober. I lost count of the days but my last drink was on December 31,2013. It's great to be sober any one just starting out hang in there it gets better.

[ssd858]

Kensho - I hope that you can find the time to build into your schedule to get the down time you need on a daily basis. What a great insight!

[Lavande]

Good morning Nesters,

Happy AF Thursday to everyone.
I drove an hour to get to my granddaughter's this morning with my sunglasses on - real sunshine for a change, yay!!!

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF day!

Lav

[Fin]

POSTED TO ROLL CALL (Day 32 Comments)

Thanks, Eloise! Yes, it does feel great to have my life back...to have control over substance vs. the other way around. What's changed? Experience, I guess. I've been through here at least four times since 2012 and made some decent progress only to eventually cave and end up back at the bottom.

My record days is around 90. Even then I could not successfully return to a life of moderation. I tried a lot of tricks to reasonably moderate but good lord, the mental distraction that creates is insane. It's exhausting to be constantly bargaining with oneself. I'd get to the point where I would just have to give in to shut down the internal dialog.

Experience has now taught me that indeed, I do have a problem. Then, I started to become increasingly unhappy at home and with my marriage. The more evolved side of myself said, "hey, take care of the things in your control and then and only then, start working on the other details that are causing you unhappiness." So, I've started the journey to really work on myself and clean up my act for ME.

I'm working on the introspection and self love right now. The more intentional process has been fascinating and incredibly rewarding. If we could bottle up sobriety and sell it, we'd all be millionaires over night! Seriously, I am finding such joy and peace in this process knowing now that there is no bargaining left to do. That ship has sailed.

Experience the great day before us you amazing people,
-Finny

[ssd858]

Fin - you sound very strong. Giving up the alcohol is one thing, but then untangling the mess that has become our lives it really the hard part.
Stay strong.

El - thank you for the encouragement! My goal is 8 weeks and beyond. The 8 weeks is the length of the online course I am taking.

Today is day 8 and the last few days have been tough. Lack of sleep is a killer when it comes to holding onto my resolve. Last night I had some anxiety which has been a recent thing for me. If I had al in the house I may have succumbed. I see why the need to remove all al from the house. I did get a decent amount of sleep last night and will try to take a short nap this afternoon.

[Byrdlady]

ssd, I'm with you on the sleep thing. That has been one of the biggest issues of this whole thing, I'm just exhausted. I did lose those 5 pounds that have been pestering me for the last year, so that's a plus, I guess.

Let me just say one more time how grateful I am to have solid sober time behind me. I just can't imagine throwing AL into this shitstorm. Do whatever it takes to get thru this day AF....that's what I'm doing!

Fin, I'm so happy for you. Growth is a surprising aspect of all this....you are going to be surprised at how badly AL held you back (even when we thought it was helping us!!).

Hang in there, everyone! One day at a time! Byrdie

[aihfl]

Well, the shit really flew yesterday and today. Literally. Sewage came exploding up out of my tub drain last night. I had a plumber out for about 2.5 hours this morning and just now finished the cleanup (tons of bleach). BLECH :cuss: It is gratifying to know, though, that I can handle these crises without a drink "to take the edge off."

After work, I'm meeting a group of friends for sushi, and I have a date lined up tomorrow night - a fellow teacher. It's great to be too busy to drink.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

I had a fun day & am happy to see folks checking in with positive reports

aih, so sorry about the sewage problem, gross.
I have noticed that I have been able to handle life's storms much easier with a clear head too, that's pretty cool

Wishing everyone a comfy & safe night in the nest!

Lav

[Byrdlady]

Good Morning, Nesters!
Got some sleep last night....not my required 9 hours, but better than it has been so I will count that as a win.
I am planning to make some cookies this afternoon for a good friend's baby shower (it's a boy). I told her I would make the first 36 cookies as my gift to her. If she needed more after that they are $40/doz. So we'll see if she orders more. I was having a conversation with my step daughter (she was encouraging me to bake cookies) and I told her that nobody wants to pay $40/dozen for decorated cookies....she said nobody WANTS to pay it, but they DO pay it because that's what it costs! So we'll see what happens.

Tomorrow we are going to visit my niece for her graduation. We'll ride up for the day and have lunch with her. Her internship will be very near where we live, so I will get to see her more than ever, I hope. Sunday, hubs' brother and gf (he is 80, she's 70) are coming to town to look for her a new home, so we will most likely ride around with them on Sunday. I love the brother....the gf, not so much. She doesn't have an edit button. Told me once my hair looked really good long....not so DAMAGED looking. What do you say to that? So we'll see!

Hope everyone is gearing up for a happy weekend. It's only Friday, NOT a ticket to BoozeVille!! If I can stay sober during one of the most trying times of my life....I know you can, too. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[KENSHO]

Morning peeps! Good to see positive attitudes here.

JUSTME, I'm so proud of you and your progress! The self-respect and strength of character we gain when we leave AL behind is priceless. Isn't it wonderful to get a clear handle on the real story at work and the social setting there, instead of worrying and focusing on keeping the addiction alive? I have found that it's these things - namely an accurate perspective of life and relationships - THAT have given me so much peace on a daily basis. I don't have to worry about them because I'm too distracted and foggy, I see them as they really are.

FIN - WTG. That's all. It just gets better and better - so glad you are leaving the bargaining behind. It's such a mind f&%k, no?

SSD - Anxiety is common and understandable when we quit. Sorry you are having it! Keep going, it should lessen over time!

AIHFL - enjoy your sushi and date night! You sound good!

I'm headed up the mountain again to pick tile for the project up there. SO tired of that drive. But I'm so very glad it's Friday. I could sleep for a week and not feel caught up - at least tomorrow morning I won't hear the alarm. It's my husband's and my anniversary, so we are dropping the kids off at their grandparents and heading to the foothills for a hike, dinner and I scheduled a surprise massage for us. We're both working really hard right now - so as long as we can stay awake, it should be a nice afternoon.

Take care, and DON'T GIVE UP! Most people here have been back to the beginning multiple times. It will click one of those times if you just keep trying different angles. It's hard to give up something you think you need, and that you dearly want. The true freedom is getting some AF time, and realizing that you no longer want - and definitely don't need alcohol. All it takes is time, a little faith, and a willingness to look at your life without the filter of alcohol. This can be scary at first, but then it becomes empowering, and a habit. KEEP GOING!!!!!!!!

[KENSHO]

Byrdie, you're in sales! They NEED these cookies! These are the best damn cookies east of the Mississippi! Their lives will be better with these cookies because you're not some big mass-production unit, they are made with love and attention in your own kitchen!

BTW, do you have a way to ship them? I would like to buy 3 doz. from you for my daughter's bday party... I'm not kidding, if you can ship them.

[Byrdlady]

Kensho, you are a doll! Yes, I can ship the cookies, I have shipped dozens of them and (so far) nary a casualty! Oh how funny, starting a cookie business from the Newbie's Nest!!
Let me know what you have in mind and I'll see what I can do for you! THANK YOU! Byrdie

[Fin]

Morning peeps! Good to see positive attitudes here.

JUSTME, I'm so proud of you and your progress! The self-respect and strength of character we gain when we leave AL behind is priceless. Isn't it wonderful to get a clear handle on the real story at work and the social setting there, instead of worrying and focusing on keeping the addiction alive? I have found that it's these things - namely an accurate perspective of life and relationships - THAT have given me so much peace on a daily basis. I don't have to worry about them because I'm too distracted and foggy, I see them as they really are.

FIN - WTG. That's all. It just gets better and better - so glad you are leaving the bargaining behind. It's such a mind f&%k, no?

SSD - Anxiety is common and understandable when we quit. Sorry you are having it! Keep going, it should lessen over time!

AIHFL - enjoy your sushi and date night! You sound good!

I'm headed up the mountain again to pick tile for the project up there. SO tired of that drive. But I'm so very glad it's Friday. I could sleep for a week and not feel caught up - at least tomorrow morning I won't hear the alarm. It's my husband's and my anniversary, so we are dropping the kids off at their grandparents and heading to the foothills for a hike, dinner and I scheduled a surprise massage for us. We're both working really hard right now - so as long as we can stay awake, it should be a nice afternoon.

Take care, and DON'T GIVE UP! Most people here have been back to the beginning multiple times. It will click one of those times if you just keep trying different angles. It's hard to give up something you think you need, and that you dearly want. The true freedom is getting some AF time, and realizing that you no longer want - and definitely don't need alcohol. All it takes is time, a little faith, and a willingness to look at your life without the filter of alcohol. This can be scary at first, but then it becomes empowering, and a habit. KEEP GOING!!!!!!!!

Thanks, KENSHO! Coincidentally our anniversary is also this weekend and we are also leaving the kids with the grandparent. However, we're leaving the foothills and hitting the bright city lights. Have a great weekend.