Newbies Nest

[j-vo]

OMG, G, running on the beach?? Just a lil jealous!!

Congrats on your 8 weeks, Ann! How awesome that is. Enjoy your nice, sober week.

Nar, I think you should go hang out with G. Pick me up on your way to Ausland...

Great talk about self esteem. Love the way you look at it G and NS. Makes so much sense. And it sounds so simple to let all of that go. Our thoughts do a number on us, don't they? I need to try that strategy of embracing the good thoughts, and letting the others go, and they will go. They always do.

Wow, what a productive day! Even went to church and it felt great. Xmas decs done, school work done, now just going to watch a few episodes of Grey's.

Have a good night or good Monday.

[Wilson1]

[ATTACH=CONFIG]3153[/ATTACH]Hey Nesters!
Mr. G, what an awful cycle it is. When I was drinking, I wished I werent and when I was sober, I wished I could drink. Thats what the gift if time does, like Pav said, even if I COULD drink, I wouldnt. Life in technicolor is better than any drink. AL doesnt do anyone any favors. I used to think that a couple drinks would help me make sales calls more easily. If I were having surgery, would I want my dr to have a couple drinks to steady his nerves before my operation? Hello no! AL improves nothing, it just wants you to think it does.
Busy day making cookies! I still like to keep busy, idle hands[ATTACH=CONFIG]3152[/ATTACH] and all that. Have a great evening!

Byrd Lady -you do have some great talents:
(1) Helping others
and
(2) Creating and making some of the most delicious looking editables that I have ever seen.

See ya.

[j-vo]

Roobs, I get that awkward feeling if someone notices or asks. In my case, I think it might be known. It has slipped out here and there that I quit drinking, but off and on. No one even questions when I don't go to any work functions anymore, but funny enough, it doesn't bother them or me.

SL, hugs for your sweet daughter. I'm so glad she decided to see a counselor. I bet that will help her greatly. I'm sure it will.

[Lavande]

Good evening Nesters,

Wow, great to see so many posts in the past 24 hours! Of course now I can't remember what I read 2 or 3 pages back, ha ha!

LS, Congrats to you on your 4 AF weeks, great
Ann, Congrats on your 8 weeks, yay!
Roobs, you are quickly approaching your first 30 days & that's just awesome!

I know a lot of folks are concerned about remaining AF during the holidays. I certain was too during my first year. One thing you need to remember (helped me out a lot) is that you are giving yourself the best possible gift & do not want to screw it up. You do not owe anyone an explanation on your decision to be AF. A simple 'No thanks' will do then change the subject. Anyone who questions your decision after that is just being rude so feel free to walk away. I actually did that a few times, they got the message

Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!
Cold here but nothing like what you are dealing with narilly - Brrr!!

Lav

[Nursie]

Love the action in the Nest! So much positivity.
G-Man, I'm working on the same thing! Positive self talk, self love, it really settles in after awhile!
Byrdie, those cookies are way to pretty to eat! We are making cookies next Saturday to distribute to the police stations.
Madonna, you're sounding awesome!
J-Vo, Ava, Narilly, Roobs, Scottish, Lav, a big hello! Who am I forgetting?

Don't worry guys, I am definitely distancing myself from that couple. I just found it so interesting how very little patience I have now that I have been putting my sobriety first. He is definitely obnoxious to say the least.

Ann, I feel the same, I don't know too many people who are worse than I was.

Well today is 37 for me. I had to look it up on my tracker because I lost count.
I had a nice relaxing day just puttering around the house.

Safe and sober night in the nest! *pulls over some twigs and nestles in*

[NoraC]

I love reading here. Thank you. I am so grateful that I am not drinking. All of you give me the motivation and encouragement to continue on this AF path. :heartbeat:

[narilly]

I am grateful too NoraC. Being sober is a gift.

G I am comin down to Aussie Land to run on the beach, I'm running away from the cold (in my dreams)

Nurse keep up the good work, tomorrow is day 38!

Have a great sleep tonight everyone xo

[mario]

Good morning nesters, lots of great positive happy posts here to read , Gives me a bump to my day.

Mr G , self esteem , Well when your opinion of yourself goes up .And we are not afraid to give ourselves credit for what we have /are achieving in our life's, When we stop having dependence on others for our faults as well as our greats, You become less needy and find an inner stability even when your world might be negative or uncertain at times.

Everyone else have a great happy positive day, The sun is coming up here time to go out & make the sun shine :-)

[Byrdlady]

Struggles,
It is interesting how different people react with AL. When I first met my husband, I didn't drink that much at all (if ever) but he would have one or two beers every night. So I would have a glass of wine. My AL use escalated and his didn't...he still has one beer each night (two is now the exception). I just wonder what is in our wiring that makes us suscpetable to this addiction. NoSugar has done so much research on this and posted interesting articles about it, but it still makes you wonder, WHY ME? I guess, why NOT me? If this is the worst thing I have during my life, I will consider myself lucky! Thank you for the thought-provoking post!
Hope everyone has a good week! Byrdie

[paulywogg]

Hello nesters, Byrdie my hubs drinks similar to yours now but there was a time a few years back where he was drinking a lot,everyday with me,think he just got sick of feeling sick all the time and was able to reign it in unlike me,so yeah our wiring is different somehow, hope everyone has a great start to the week

[Justme Again]

Hi Nesters

I need to share something with you guys.

About a month ago I bought my usual painkillers for the month. It contains codeine.
Around here you can buy a pack that comes in 100's. It helped with those killer hangover headaches and anxiety. The legal lul during the day. For me, hangovers and painkillers had a purpose. I either felt to awful to care, or was preoccupied with my addiction. It kept my anxiety under 'control'.

So, a month ago the pharmacy assistant told me I can now only buy a pack of 40 without a prescription. Right there and then something snapped inside of me. That was it!!! I am not going to even start with embarrassing,addict behaviour to get my hands on more pills. I will use the 40 to taper down and then quit.

The withdrawals was not too bad. A bit sweaty, insomnia and body aches for a week or so, but what got to me was how my anxiety returned!!!
I got to the point where it felt like my throught was closing up and I wanted to cry 24/7.
Last week my facial muscles were sore from clenching (which I never do!) and today I went to the doctor to inject me, because my neck and back is in spasm.

Anxiety!!

I drugged myself real good out of feeling the nauseous attack of anxiety for 2 decades. It was humbling to feel the full grip again with no dilution or buffer.
I remember so well now how I discovered how AL took that horrible feeling away. And back then I was overjoyed to realize codeine handles the hangovers efficiently.

I was discouraged. 8 months sober and my brain took a real depro dip and then cutting off the codeine. I had the worst and most negative thoughts about myself. And I hesitated to share this in the Nest, because I do not want to discourage Newbies. It is still wort it!!

Today I am proud of myself. I can't believe I didn't phone my ex with some excuse why he had to buy me pills. That I didn't cave. There is a part of me that really wants to overcome all my addictions. I have respect for the part of myself that stood by that counter and decided 'That's it!!!', although I couldn't think of nice things about myself for days.

And the revisit of full blown anxiety is a way to understand and forgive myself for the destructive choices of 20 years.

Oh, I did lit up again... But two addictions down and one to go!

I will have to do something about my anxiety. Not sure what yet. Daily exercise comes to mind, but having experienced it again and understanding it makes a difference.

I am hopeful. The layers are peeled off. Much easier to recognise it and deal with it.

Stay strong Nesters.

[Nursie]

Good morning Nest!
It is so surreal to see how much my life has changed in 38 days of not drinking. I have quit many times but every quit has been a different lesson. All of my quits have been "if only" or "someday" or "until I can't quit anymore". This quit feels different. I no longer wish I could be a social drinker. I can't. I no longer think that someday I can control my drinking. I am not faulty, I'm not broken. I just don't drink anymore. It doesn't work for me. I'm not a failure, I am a success! I finally stopped giving up and started giving in. See, drinking isn't the kind of thing you want to keep trying and maybe we will get better at it. This is the one thing that you should STOP trying to get better at! Maybe that's why we keep trying, because we learned from an early age to never give up? Ahhhh, I digress

Sometimes I wake with a little panic but then I remind myself I did not drink and then all is well.

I will be reading a lot today because I have the day off!

[Nursie]

Sorry x-post Justme!
So happy to see you here! I have some experience with painkillers throughout my journey. Prescribed to me at different times over the years for surgeries and whatnot.
I noticed definite withdrawal symptoms after stopping them when my pain was gone.
I could see how people got addicted. My mother was a pill addict until she died.
Part of withdrawal is severe depression and anxiety.
My mom would not get out of bed for days, crying and suicidal. Unable to walk around or eat or smile. This passed after a couple of weeks and then the sun came out again for her.
But as soon as she had a pill, she was off to the races. Cleaning, putting makeup on, taking chances, drinking, having men over, truly manic behavior.
Then off the pills she was herself. My mom.

We have to treat the pills just like drinking. We cannot do that. Give yourself some more time and you will see your anxiety start to get better.
You got this!

[Pavati]

Gotta run to work. Just checking in.

"Just do your best." G, I am choosing to live by those words today.

Great posts.

Pav

[NoSugar]

All of my quits have been "if only" or "someday" or "until I can't quit anymore". This quit feels different. I no longer wish I could be a social drinker. I can't. I no longer think that someday I can control my drinking. I am not faulty, I'm not broken. I just don't drink anymore. It doesn't work for me. I'm not a failure, I am a success! I finally stopped giving up and started giving in

Our thoughts can change in an instant, Nursie, and it sounds like that has happened for you :smile:! Some people have a Eureka moment and they can see something in a new way immediately. That may happen to some people regarding alcohol but I think what you and I have experienced is more common. Some "background work" has to be done before a new, fresh thought is available. For quite awhile after I joined MWO, my thoughts ran along the lines of: I can't drink, I won't drink, I have to be strong, This is my last chance, etc. It was hard to do this using will-power and frankly, I think that is ultimately unsustainable. But, at the same time I was having these deprivation thoughts, I was learning to notice what was good and be grateful, and I was learning all I could about addiction. By having all of this information and thoughts of gratitude swirling around in my head, I believe my brain was primed for the thought that I so clearly remember: "I don't HAVE to drink!" That had never occurred to me before and it changed EVERYTHING! It felt like true freedom. Will-power was no longer my main tool. This idea was! I didn't have to force myself not to drink and no one could make me do it.

Over the subsequent years there have been times when I've had the thought that a drink would be nice or was needed but it was pretty easy to just let that ridiculous idea go. And what you don't give attention to eventually fades away. I don't feel worried about occasionally having those thoughts anyway. Wine was my go-to escape for many years and seemingly "everyone else" does it so it seems almost expected and normal. Why wouldn't it cross my mind now and then? But now that I know it isn't a command or a need -- it's just a thought -- it can be let go like all the other weird ones I have every single day. (Thank goodness we don't act on all of those !).