Newbies Nest

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Started the day with gray skies & rain showers. Now at 7 pm the sun comes out, ha ha!!

Great to see everyone & wising a safe night in the nest for all.
Remember, we're never alone on this journey. The nest has provided me with comfort & support for the last 9 1/2 years

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Un-hung Sunday, Lovely Nesters,

after 10 hours! of uninterrupted sleep, I'm feeling better than I have in a long time. For the past 16 years, since my first was born, I've been someone who wakes up several times a night, light sleeper, and even though I usually fall back to sleep quickly, it is not as rejuvenating as a sleep with out disturbance! I always thought I'd become a better sleeper again when the kids "grew up" but I'm beginning to doubt it. Anyway, I'm set up for a good Sunday today.. mostly dedicated to trying to review all of the Spanish I know for a class that begins tomorrow..

Lots of good stuff going on here, as usual.

NS, I love that video.. especially the last part has stuck with me since the first time I saw it.."good morning, God!" or "good God, morning".. I don't know why that made such a big impact on me, but I think of it almost every morning as I'm climbing out of bed..

Hyper, congratulations on 33 days! Letting go and learning to live by your nature.. sounds like a recipe for peace within.. it's taken me such a long time and I'm still working on going deep within myself to figure out what's really important. Finding my truth, believing in it and not being so easily swayed by what others think about it. Finding ways to be ok with what I have, how I've chosen to live, concentrating on the positive aspects of who I am and what I have to contribute.. this is key for me. To lose the bad habit of comparing myself to anyone else.. You seem to be in a good space, albeit too busy. The bike ride and having those realizations wash over you sounds wonderful..

Belle, you're sounding so strong in your quit. I'm right with you.. knowing that being sober is absolutely the only way to "deal" with the teens. Let us know how it develops with your son and his idea of having a gap year. I'm almost 100% sure my eldest is going to take one.. her dream is to travel/work for a year before studying. She still has 3 years of HS first though. Anyway, I've been interested to hear everyone's thoughts on the sublject.

Rava, it's good to see you! I meant to tell you that I really appreciated your quotes in the Café that came in via AB..:happy2:

Ava, that is a darn early time to go to work! But great that you can.. I am also an early bird and love my mornings more than anything.. I was at a dog-lover friend's house yesterday to watch the film, "Best in Show".. have you seen it? It's a mocumentary about five entrants who have dogs competing in a major dog show.. it's so funny. Thought you might like it.

Pav, sounds like you had an amazing vacation. Nothing better than being off-line and in Nature for a few days to relax and come back to yourself.. and thank you for that gem of a paragraph about how you finally quit. Taking the option of drinking completely off the table.. Being so honest with yourself, knowing that you couldn't have the life you wanted AND drink and then making the CLEAR and set decision not to drink so that you could use your mindspace for finding new solutions/ways to deal/gratitude. Drinking for us, takes up so much of our precious brain space! Amazing what can happen when we get rid of that option.

Byrdie, I hope you're having a relaxing weekend!
you, too, Lav!

Wags, glad you also had some off grid time! Just what the doctor ordered.. Did you stay home or go off somewhere? Yes, frisbee seems like a really great sport.. it's true that the people are open and layed back at the same time as being serious about their sport.. the training is quite hard core, but fun. I think it's free-style that they play.? It looks to be a bit like football but no contact.. I'll have to ask on Tuesday. Are you getting ready for a summer vacay? I can't remember where you're going this year-- was it off to a cabin?

Kensho, you are sounding really good! Munich isn't very close by.. but I would definitely make the trip down to see you if you visited! I would also love to put some more faces to names and actually meet in person. you'll have to keep me informed of your plans when the time comes closer. I'm with you on not having any illusions that I might someday be a normal drinker.. In hindsight, I never was.. not even in the beginning. It sure took me a long time to accept my truth. Thanks for the lovely Robin's egg picture..do you know how long does she/do they leave it alone? That pretty blue egg looked so vulnerable!

Yesterday afternoon I went on a "Herb walk" in a beautiful old, over-grown cemetary, led by a woman who is a Naturopath and Horticulturist, who had the most amazing amount of knowledge about what we could find and use for teas/tinctures/oils to heal ourselves.. she read poems about teas, told mythological and biblical stories about the names of the plants and what they were used for, shared different house teas she had made.. it was so interesting and a reminder to me that I need to move outside my box! Do things that I think I might be interested in.. just show up! This walk was a 3 hour trip into another world..

Hope I didn't miss anyone.. ah, G-man, How are you doing? and you, Nar? Good to see you!

Love to all..

[frances]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi all - just thought I'd stop in and say hello - I was away for awhile but I'm back. Really looking forward to getting alcohol out of my life. Again.

It's been great reading around this morning and love the links to the books/blogs - it's always so interesting when there's so much to relate to!

Hope everyone has a great Sunday - I'm gonna try to get showered and get to church in 30 minutes - hope I can make it!

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

I read and thought I posted yesterday... Anyway - NoSugar, thanks for posting that link and blog. I ended up sharing with two of my friends who are also sober, and then sat and read the blog for a while. I really like that idea of not giving in to everything you want. My husband is overweight, and it is sort of the message I'm trying to get him to understand about food. It is also the lesson that you have to teach your children - in essence, how to tame that lizard brain.

Frances! Great to see you, and I'm glad you're back if you need to be.

LC - I want to take a Spanish class, too. I can understand SOME (especially if I know the context), but can hardly speak at all. I hope it goes well.

I have spent the last two days of my vacation deep cleaning the house. It is amazing how much dust and gunk can accumulate in corners you never think to look in. I feel like this house is dustier than any I've ever lived in. It feels great to get it clean, but my allergies are all over the place...

Happy SOBER Sunday, all. I'm back to work tomorrow, rejuvenated and ready!

Pav

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday Nesters. This is the first Sunday in months where I have not felt compelled to drink. Finally got my head back in the right place. It feels good to feel in control again. I am staying close to this site and staying busy. Planning a full day ahead. Wishing everyone a Sober and happy Sunday!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday, Nesters!
Hot as heck here.
Taking it easy today and loving it. Hugs to all, Byrdie

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

I'm with you on not having any illusions that I might someday be a normal drinker.. In hindsight, I never was.. not even in the beginning.

@lifechange, this reminded me that I meant to come on here yesterday and share an experience I had.

I was supposed to have a "home alone" week this past week and was really looking forward to it. BUT - life intervened and I ended up w/ people overnight a few times, babysitting, cooking (which I was planning NOT to do), etc. etc. Anyway, I did have the last 2 nights alone and both evenings, drinking thoughts did pop up. I don't at all think it was weird or bad or scary that I had those ideas -- pretty normal, actually, after the way the week had gone and given my years of practice using alcohol to escape. Why wouldn't it occur to me? But, the idea of drinking makes me feel worried and anxious so it was not a problem to let those thoughts (and the feelings they cause) drift away. What interested me about the whole thing was that my thoughts were not, "Oh, it would be nice to sit on the patio and have a glass of wine, watching the sun go down". They were more along the line of "Man it would be great to start drinking and not stop until I could drink no more".

That's definitely not the thought of a "normal" drinker and a good reminder of why I don't drink!

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters

NS, i am so glad you didnt act on those thoughts and you have the tools in place and knowledge to realise what a dumb idea that would be! i do get where you are coming from though, i know i have those thoughts when huge stress falls on me but i also know i cant drink ever again so chocolate it is.

Rava keep checking in here and keep your head where it is now. Nothing is worth drinking at was my motto and still is. al solves nothing

Oh Pav do you want to pop over and de-dust my house. My boys are not bad cleaners but they dont seem to move anything. The positive is its winter so the dust is not going to go far as its too cold.

Welcome back Frances. Are you planning on modding or stopping completely if you dont mind me asking. I was happy to see you sign in again and come back to join us.

LC, no i have not seen that move as yet, i think it will be one to watch without the SO. he is a channel flicker so not much hope watching anything with him unless its on his radar.

I had a nice quiet weekend, we went to visit the twins for an hour or so, managed to do some knitting and napping. I do quite enjoy hibernating in winter

Take care xx

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy UN HUNG Sunday everyone.

Well, I went to an outdoor concert last night and did not drink. My cousins and my husband were all drinking and a few people asked me if I wanted a drink. My husband got pretty plastered. I ended up having to 'take care' of him. So I made him drink lots of water and didn't let him have any more drinks. He was slurring and staggering around. It sure made me grateful to be sober. I drove him home and put him to bed, it was nice to be able to drive. Thank goodness I wasn't drinking because we would have had a big drunk fight. We used to have them all the time.
Obviously he has a bit of a problem with drinking and hardly drinks at all anymore. He slept in and was hung over today, this made me super grateful to be Un hung, Yay!!

Anyway, the concert was good and I had fun and I am sure glad I did not drink. A lot of people that were there will be hung over today.

Thanks for the links NS and Hyper.
Yeah, I agree Pav, not giving into everything you want. That is a pretty good mantra. I have been giving into some bad eating lately and my excuse is always 'well, I don't drink Al so I can have this'. I find this mind set gets me in trouble a bit with food but at least I am not drinking. (see I just said it again out loud)

Hello everyone, have a good sober day.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters,

Wow, looks like just about everyone checked in today, nice

Welcome back Frances, good to see you again. You know the nest is the place to be so settle in for a while.

I'm nursing an injured chick - she's back in a box in my laundry room again. I don't know what happened but she's missing all her feathers on the back of her neck & is having a hard time holding her head up, geez. I have a feeling she stuck her head thru the wire fence to reach for grass & either got stuck or some animal was on the other side with the chicks head in it's mouth, eeww I'm doing my best, I hope she recovers.
Well, that's my exciting Sunday news.
Wishing everyone a safe & comfy night in the nest!

Lav

[frances]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thanks for the welcome everyone. It feels good to be back! I had a good run but over the past few months slowly but surely have been drinking more and more. In April I had a shameful night where I really overdid it. And lately I have had more days with alcohol than without - AF days have become rarer and rarer. And when I have had a drink, frequently it has been too much. This past week, I had 4 bottles of wine over 6 days - that started on Sunday a week ago.
On that day I also had a few beers. Monday through Friday each day, finish a bottle, open the next one, and so on. This is very similar to how I was drinking before coming to MWO previously. Saturday I decided enough is enough and here I am.

Welcome back Frances. Are you planning on modding or stopping completely if you dont mind me asking. I was happy to see you sign in again and come back to join us.

Thanks Ava! I don't mind you asking. I wish I had a definitive answer. I guess I haven't really decided yet. At the moment I just want to stop what is rapidly starting to feel like "the madness". It has been feeling all too familiar. I know I can do this but I am worried about slipping back too easily yet again if I don't shut the door completely on AL. So for now at least, I am stopping completely.

[Rava]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Monday morning nesters! Frances, our stories are similar. I started drinking again over the last several months too. Its very scary how quickly you go back to your previous level of drinking madness with no effort. I like so many others try to moderate and play games with my brain, but the alcohol always ALWAYS wins out. The book that someone recommended in another post calls her the Wine Witch. My witch is very powerful. I came to this site and half assed kept drinking. But I kept coming back and now I feel committed to getting this right. This past weekend was my first in months alcohol free. Feels good. I am gonna keep it up and not give in. When I drink I wake up feeling so ashamed and remorseful. I hate that feeling. Waking up sober and accountable is the only way to go. Wishing everyone a sober week ahead.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

[MENTION=16186]available[/MENTION]: Dust knows no season. Bah!
Rava, your experience sounds like mine, when I first came here to the nest, I gave it half hearted attempts. After all, I wasn't as bad as many here....as it turns out, I was (and worse than many others). Just as dust doesn't discriminate, AL doesn't either. Everything I needed to know was right here, my receptors had to be activated in order to make it work....that finally came in the form of an ultimatum from my husband. Then I opened up and became willing to listen and be coachable instead of thinking I KNEW what was best (I was listening to the wrong voices....AL was the loudest, so I listened to it). I had to stomp and claw my way past that voice and listen to the ones on the other side of it....the ones like Lav, Jackie Clair and Mario. It worked! I'm so glad you are finding your way out. Keep it going!
Happy Monday, all. Byrdie

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters, checking in here before packing for a 3 day beach trip with the kids...meeting up with my brother and family also.

[MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION] and [MENTION=7263]frances[/MENTION], your stories are so similar to mine. I came here in 2011 after googling "how to stop drinking"...it took a few months to actually sink in but in Jan of 2012 I started an almost 5 year AF run. Yes, almost 5 years. AF wedged it's way back into my life so innocently with a pseudo "uncle" saying "how about a little gin in your tonic water...just a half shot" and I said OK, because Hellyeah it was Christmas! so then I figured if I could handle that, I could handle a little AL here and there. And we all know how that goes with us alkies. before too long, I was back into my old habits slugging shots of gin, vodka, and scotch in my laundry room. I could never get the AL out of the house because hubby enjoys a drink now and then and he drinks like a "normal" person. During this period my hubby caught on to me. it was shameful and awful. I was so drunk one night I dropped a pot of hot soup and scalded my foot. Tho I acted like nothing was wrong because if I had to go to the urgent care it would be surely noted I was drunk. UGH.

I knew I had to come back here to be accountable. it is unreal how AL can slowly start to get its claws back into us, and then basically consume us. I'm on day 115 now. life is a lot more stressful than it was 7 years ago, but I know that the stakes are higher also. I am so happy that I was sober for both the deaths of my mom and dad. Dad needed a lot of attention in the months before he passed and I was able to be sober and there for him.

I now know the danger of "just a half a shot". and even with almost 5 years under my belt, I still went down hard and fast.

[MENTION=24196]Rava[/MENTION] and [MENTION=7263]frances[/MENTION]...stick with us. Read as much as you can. Post when you feel vulnerable and someone will talk you down from reaching for that bottle.

❤️

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

LC - that definitely sounds like Ultimate Frisbee and it's a fantastic sport for sure. That was the type of team I was on all through high school and it is one of the few things I look back on fondly. Yes, we're gearing up for a vacation in early July, and we're spending several nights in a cabin in western Montana. I will still have to work some from there but it'll also feel like a decent break.

Nar - glad you enjoyed your outdoor concert and were sober to drive and take care of your husband, but also sorry to hear you had to take care of him. Just out of curiosity, how was he the next morning? I can't recall - is he a "normal" drinker or does he have issues similar to most of us? I ask only because I'm curious whether normal drinkers feel any of the GSR after what sounds like a night of over-doing it. Totally fine if you'd rather not say - I know it's not always comfortable sharing about someone else.


Things are pretty good in Wagland. My workload has tapered off a bit and feels much more manageable, although the drop in income is a bummer. As I mentioned above, we're getting ready to spend a week or so camping and a few nights in a mountain cabin and I cannot wait. We will be in a beautiful valley surrounded by the Rocky Mountains of Montana, and from the pics online it looks gorgeous.

One of the best parts is that we'll be out in the middle of nowhere for the 4th of July (Independence Day in the U.S.) and thus we will escape the fireworks and fire crackers. I don't mind celebrations, but our neighborhood sounds like a war zone and our next door neighbor is the worst of all. He always gets a large supply of illegal stuff and shoots it off in the street. These devices start on the ground in front of his house, but then shoot into the air and explode over someone else's house - often ours. This goes on way past midnight and it's really awful but he doesn't seem to give a sh*t about the pets, war vets, and others in the neighborhood who are deeply bothered by the explosions. Sigh... I'm so glad we'll be missing that.

Like Nar, we also went to an outdoor concert the other night. They sold beer and wine at the venue, and if you wanted to purchase you had to show ID at the entrance and get an extra "over 21" wristband. We were standing in line and I was about to pull out my ID and I suddenly realized what I was doing. I had no intentions of drinking, but it was just the default behavior that of course if you are over age 21 you'll get that wristband whether you plan to drink or not. I put my wallet back in my bag bypassed that station. I never really thought I'd be tempted, but I was also glad I caught the auto-pilot behavior and just nipped it in the bud.

Hellos and waves to everyone stopping by today! Hope it's a good one