Newbies Nest

[narilly]

Re: Newbies Nest

Have a good Saturday night everyone.

Glad you are doing well Julia.

It’s warming up here, -20 right now but will be -3 at 2am. Crazy hey?


Don’t drink tonight, xo.

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

Afternoon nesters

Dublin that is so sad, the loss of a child is very hard. Take care of yourself.

Nursie, happy 33+ days. Remember we are never too busy to check in. I always used to think it was a drag but it kept me accountable on may occasions and still does. I also figured i spent a good 5+ hours drinking so i could use that time wisely on here.

Nar, swimming well i thought it would have been skating. You go girl. My daughter and i are going to check out a swimming centre near my work but wont go till school holidays are over. I made a date for this thursday after work but i forgot i have my psych apt. Menopause mind drives me crackers.

Still cold Lav? Stay inside, i am a big fan of hibernating in winter. The only issue is work.

Great work on 17 days Julia and its nice to be able to talk about our addictions and know we wont be judges. Us addicts cannot moderate, i know i wont play russian roulette with my sobriety ever. Its too precious to lose.

My son and i went for a walk to the shops with carl. Im trying to do my bit for the climate with not using my car unless necessary. I then went for a longer walk without Carl and it is so humid. Carl is going through a stage where we walk a couple of kilometres and then he stops as if to say "ive had enough now". Ive tried different routes, having a rest half way around but nope he does it all the time. we do eventually get home but its frustrating. We dont walk until 7pm when its cooler and he just had a hair cut. Talk about spoilt. I think i will have to take him a shorter distance, drop him off and keep walking but once i see that front door its enticing to stop.

Take care xx

[ThreeBottlesOfWine]

Re: Newbies Nest

Happy Sunday all, just checking in. Thanks for all the tips on cravings, I found a nice grape drink that works too.
Have a wonderful AF day all!

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning nesters, Ava, we had a basset hound who would get halfway down the street and lay down on the sidewalk cuz she was just done with her walk, so we'd hafta pick her up and carry her back home and she was HEAVY and saggy like bassets are, there was something off with that dog, your story of little Carl reminded me of that 3-BOW great to see you, glad your grape drink helps, my cravings were all about escaping reality and not the taste so a drink alternative never helped me, I had to do things to get outta my head like exercise or mindless tv, Dublin, sorry about the loss in your community, it is very sad Nursie fab job on over 30 days! Julia, day 18 now? You're doing a wonderful job, speaking of jobs I passed on the one I posted about and it's a good thing too cuz I text him I needed more time and he text me back a really rude message, defo someone I wouldn't want to have ended up working for and now I know why that particular salon is always looking for stylists, whatever on to the next I'm defo not gonna quit the job I have to go somewhere else I just want like 2 days part time at somewhere, my friend said Sally's beauty supply is looking for people for just a few hours maybe I'll see what they say, anyhoo enough on that! Waves to the gang and wishes for a happy and healthy AF day!

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav, we must have written our posts at the same time yesterday (how convivial ). Only I was apparently way slower in writing.

Trust me, family will drive you nuts.

Wow Byrdie, that is one hell of a situation you’re in with your family. Jeez…. topping it off with the 26 cats. My mouth almost fell open when I read it.

Well, I know I said I’d better leave my family alone, but today was yeeey family day.
First a visit to my father, who I’m in touch with again (after 15 years of no contact) since he was diagnosed with vascular dementia and was committed into a care home. He has always been a very abusive man (mostly mentally) and has basically made my life hell. A psychiatric patient (severe narcissistic personality disorder, bipolar and strong obsessive traits) that has mostly taken it out on others. But I feel sorry for him and visit him now, wheni can find it in me to do so. The dementia has taken away his ability to be aggressive and blow up, so he’s mainly a very tragic person now, though of course still completely self-absorbed, no empathy what so ever, which in the end is also very sad.
Then the birthday of my nephew (same city as father), whom I like, despite of the problems every time with my brother and his wife.

Arriving at their house I was greeted by sister-in-law saying ”great timing! We’re just pouring in drinks!” and I thought I'm not going to take part in this make-believe familial bs! Asking for a glass of water felt like an act of autonomy. I liked it. No more suppression or oppression for this girl.

Good to hear from you again 3bottles!

Available I like the Russian roulette line. That kind of slogans stick and can be very helpful I think. My dog is a never-enough-dog. Never enough of attention, walking, eating, impulses. He mirrors my restlessness, so the last few weeks, he’s been like a bouncing ball. He’s a great guy, a stray dog that was found in a garbage bin in Portugal.

All the others: hugs! I’m so happy to have met you all. How you share your lives here means a lot and touches me a lot.

I’m going to cool down now (sssssshhhhhhh). Have work that desperately needs to be done before tomorrow, but enough is enough.

This is day 18.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Yep it’s still cold but the sun came out today & melted the ice & snow that we got yesterday, nice

Julia, glad you got thru the family stuff unscathed. Family interaction can be rough (been there & done it with mine). In the end you’ll feel good that you tried to maintain contact with your father, even in his demented state. My rescue dog is half beagle & half ??. She is ruled by her nose, always on a sniffing mission for something or the other, Lol

Pauly, keep on searching for a part time position that will leave your sanity alone. Life is too short for jobs that makes us miserable.

3BoW, good to see you & I hope you are doing well!

Ava, I’m good with hibernating, haha! I emerge when I need to go get supplies. There is no where to walk to around here. The closest stores are at least 7.5 miles away & I’m not walking that far!!!
Tell Carl I said to take it easy until the heat lets up

Hey Narilly, hope you are staying warm!

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Congratulations to @Byrdlady and @Marylou123 on their 9 and 6 year soberverseraries!! We are all the lucky ones.

I watched a documentary yesterday about how the brain works. Some of the episodes address addiction but the thing I learned which really made some thing makes sense is that the same part of the brain involved in future planning is involved in memory. So it seems kind of logical so me that people who muck around it past regrets tend to be anxious about the future. And maybe people who can learn from past mistakes and move on can plan for the future without wasting time worrying about things they can't control anyway. All of it argues for trying to stay in the present moment, which is all that we've got anyway. The episode on mindfulness is really interesting - I think you'd like it, Mr G.

I'm home alone for the next 3 days. That used to set the stage for disaster. I'm so so glad that won't be going on.

Have a good week and don't drink! NS

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Thank you so much, NoSugar, I didn't realize MaryLou shared my anniversary day! It was a Thursday. I usually proclaim changes on Monday, at the beginning of the month or the beginning of the year. So as you can clearly see, the change met me at the door and said, NOPE, THIS is the day. This day 9 years ago I was scared to death. I knew the failure rate in this disease is high. I knew I had never made it before. I knew THIS was do or die. As NS wrote, I made up my mind to live in the present and not bite off too much. Forever is achieved one day at a time. I can tell you this, without the tools and support of MWO I would not have made it this far. I owe so much to this place and for LAV in particular. Thank you for the kick in the pants and for not enabling me. It was NOT ok when I drank, or 'slipped' as I liked to call it (made it seem less like it was my fault). It was not a slip, it was a conscience choice. Thank you for making me see that I was choosing to be miserable when I chose to drink. While I may not have appreciated it at the time, I certainly realize it now. Emulate those who are achieveing what YOU want. I wanted to be AF so I did what AF people told me to do and continue to.

In this 9 years I have not had one drop of AL nor purchased it. That is my goal for the next 9. Thank you all so much for listening to me day after day and for making an AF life a reality. It IS a wonderful way to LIVE! So grateful for the kind words! Much love and appreciation, Byrdie

[available]

Re: Newbies Nest

morning nesters

Byrd, happy 9th birthday to you, you know the song! i always wanted to be you when i came on here (and lav) but never thought it possible. i remember when i was 30 days you sent me a PM and told me how proud of me you were and to me that was all i needed to keep on going. I was never proud of me and to have someone who was just inspired me to keep going. Those days of early sobriety may be long gone but i still remember that simple gesture that meant the world to me. much love to you today.

Marylou, 6 years, congratulations. I hope you have the bestest day.

Julia, i think we all deserve a medal dealing with families sometimes. I have an extremely dysfunctional one also but they are who they are and probably why none of us really talk anymore. I always wanted to be a princess, thought they would have a nice life ha ha.

Day 2 of the week and im already over it. We are now having flooding in some parts of Australia. My cousin who was so close to the fires was in a huge hail storm yesterday and her car is a write off. The insurance companies must be wondering what is going to happen next. She was safe so that is all that matters.

Pauly, i had a chuckle about your dog getting so far. i think carl wants to be carried too but thats not going to happen. my son keeps telling me to leave him and he will get the message but will he?

time for a coffee, take care xx

[julia1970]

Re: Newbies Nest

day 19. i don't feel too good, the family stuff had quite an impact. i'm hoping for a better night's sleep tonight.
but still sober. that is the most important thing.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Life doesn’t stop, [MENTION=24444]julia1970[/MENTION], just because we somehow came to our senses and quit drinking. In fact, it may seem to come at you harder because you’re not hiding in an alcohol haze, numb to the worst of the blows. If it feels like the lows are worse, know that the highs will be higher and longer lasting because you’ll be fully present to experience and remember them. I promise you the trade-off is worth it. You’re doing great :hug:

[Guitarista]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hola friends,

Quick fly by. Yes NS. The trade off is so worth it. The transition period can be a little uncomfortable from boozing to when we are feeling more, senses come alive again, foggy thinking and foggy disposition fading. but when we stick it out and back ourselves, the results are - NO LIMITS.

Did i just see a thread announcing Byrdy hit 9 years of sober living? Yes.i.did. Great stuff Ma'am. Love you and love your work. :black::sendflowers::woohoo2:

Big waves to evabody.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Byrdie, CONGRATS to you on your 9 year AF anniversary!!!
I have always been proud of you, I hope you know that :hug:
You have gone on to inspire many here & that’s just awesome!

MaryLou, CONGRATS to you on your 6 years AF :welldone:
It just keeps getting better & better!!

Julia, family has been know to literally make me feel sick as well. But it doesn’t have to be that way.
I realized somewhere along the line that those certain people will never behave the way I would like, it’s their choice & it’s also their loss since I no longer have contact with them. It’s just not worth the agony IMHO. Take care of you because you are healing & doing great!

Ava, I’m thinking about my big Swiss Mountain dog, the one who weighed over 100 lbs. I wanted to walk her for exercise to lose weight but her arthritis prevented her from walking in a hilly area. I almsot cried a few times trying to get her home because I certainly couldn’t carry her . I think young Carl is waiting for cooler weather, haha!

Hi G!!

NS, enjoy your quiet time. Sounds like a good opportunity to pull out the hobbies - knitting, sewing, etc!!

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe & cozy night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

CONGRATULATIONS on 9 sober years, Byrdie. You are one of my OG Nest Moms - your humor and no BS advice have been so valuable to my own sobriety. I am so grateful to have gotten to know you here, and glad you stick around to share your wisdom. I hope you had a BIG celebration today...

Ava, my small dog started doing that to me, but just on particular trails. I sometimes carried her because I couldn't get her to budge. I also found that a leash helped (she didn't need a leash otherwise). Carl is just a teenager - figuring out his own mind...

Julia - sorry for your family stuff. Being sober through it all should help. Hope it does.

Pauly, I agree with Lav - life is too short for a job that is bad.

I have had a busy but nice weekend. A couple of good hikes, yoga, time with family. I didn't end up volunteering at the Inn - I decided service to myself was needed. Another time...

Happy SOBER Monday,
Pav

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

And CONGRATULATIONS to you, [MENTION=12714]Marylou[/MENTION] ! Six years is an amazing achievement as well. xo