Newbies Nest

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Re: Newbies Nest

Evening nesters

So glad Byrd that you are over with all your eye surgery and the future will look even brighter still.

Belle, Kensho, all i can say is that thankfully they grow up into beautiful adults and take all the time you can with them. one day you wont be the centre of their life, one day they will think "oh shit i have to call mum, i have not spoken to her for a few days", one day they will be too busy with their friends. I remember i used to think "god i cant wait till they are grown up" and now i wish they were little again and wanting my attention. Mind you with four you do seem to still get a lot of attention but make the most of this time, one day they they will be saying "damn mum is needy, she wants to spend time with me" lol. I never seemed to have enough hours in the day when they were young and i wish i had of put things aside to spend it with them. I am lucky though that we are all very close and i would not have it any other way. You are great mums and will work it out.

Feeling about 80% now which is good, had a case of the wanting to pass outs yesterday but i think that was the Tramal so stopped those. My narcassistic mother is at it again. she went and told her woes to one of my son's so called friends who then head butted my son and tried to choke him. My mothers response was they must have been drunk. my response to my mother was very measured and sensible where i told her that no one f*cks with my children. she told me my son was drinking too much so i told her that i get how people drink AT other people and that she drinks too much also so may want to look at her drinking issues and i used to drink AT her and my father but years of seeing a psychologist and being sober have taught me so many things. before i replied to her she posted a thing on my fb page saying that if i didnt want to talk to her that was fine. i replied asking her not to post things like that on my fb as they were cruel and hurtful and it is not me that stops talking it is her. I had so many hurtful, cruel things that i could have said to my mother but i refuse to lower myself to her level. i wish that i had of gotten one decent parent in my life instead of two duds but it is what it is and it does not mean that she can treat my children how she wants to. I have not check to see if she replied to my email, i have communicated to her nicely on fb asking how she is. i dont need to be angry, i dont need her to suck the very life out of me, i dont need her to make me feel worthless and the good thing about sobriety is that she cant. she has also lost her power over me and its her choice to be in my life now. so there is my whinge for the day and boy it feels good to get it out. i have spoken to my son lots today and told him to get away from her, he has one life to live as he chooses and drinking AT people does not help at all. He told me that he was so lucky to have me as his mum and for me that is all i need to hear. i cannot sadly say that to my mother.

i did just eat a tub of 98.3% raspberry ice cream though and it was delicious. Tomorrow i have to take photos of the house as they have virtual house inspections now. i like those, take a photo, hide stuff, take another photo, hide stuff. works well.

take care and thanks for letting me rant. xx

[BelleGirl]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nesters,
Thanks for all the wise words on raising daughters. I have set aside tomorrow as 'her day' (after her allergist appointment where they will stick her with hundreds of needles to determine why she has chronic post nasal drip...ugh). We can go dorm shopping, get ice cream, go out to dinner, and go to the crystal shop. All options are on the table. She will be going to what I see as a medium sized college in Washington, DC. In addition to being brave about not having friends going there, she will be in a racial minority. When she first introduced herself to the new student instagram group, she received a number of nasty comments. She worked very hard to get accepted into this school and has every right to be there. She handled the negative comments with grace and maturity. And, she said that she had support from other students 9 to 1. However, I cannot help wondering if her current anxiety has to do with the proximity of facing other students in person. We'll see how it goes. Fortunately she can easily come home on weekends using the DC Metro subway system. However, I do wish she stays there most weekends to make friends and connections.

Ava, I am so sorry you have to deal with crappy things from your mother. I went through difficult periods of time with my mother, where she would not speak to me due to differences of opinion, etc. but no where near what you have had to deal with. And I agree that nobody f**ks with my kids or they will see wrath from me like they never imagined. You are definitely handling your relationship with her with grace. It is so great that you are sober and are able to deal with her with a clear head.

I have a lunch date with a few work colleagues to say 'goodbye' to one who is moving to New Mexico to go to grad school. She is the youngest and the brightest in the office of us oldies and has her whole life ahead of her. We will miss her but wish her well. The lunch is at a brewery/winery but I hear they have great pizza. Of course I won't drink, because I just don't.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

Watching the news about the wild weather going on around here, several tornadoes spotted in nearby counties, geez. I hope everyone is OK.

Wags, yep the windshield/bug thing is about right too, haha!!

Byrdie, great that you’ve had your 2nd cataract extraction. Things will end up being so much better for you very soon :hug:

Ava, glad you are feeling better. Honestly, your mum has so much anger. Obviously she’s never realized she can simply choose happiness like the rest of us. I guess she has no ‘filters’ if she’s posting stuff on your FB page, sorry. I had an angry drunken brother do that to me once - I blocked him, haha!! Take care of yourself & your kids, that’s all that matters right now :hug:

Slo, I hope your babysitting went well today

Belle, there’s so much to see & do in DC. My son works there, has a 2 hr commute each way but he keeps going back. I hope your daughter goes with an open mind & has a chance to spread her wings & grow! Hope you enjoyed your lunch date, sounds nice.

Hello to Kensho, Pav & everyone checking in tonight.
Wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Somehow I just rolled over and slept through those noisy tornado alerts from my cell phone the other night, and heard the ungodly noise in the middle of the night when the power went out, but just rolled over groggily and continued sleeping. I should have been in the basement! They did touch down nearby.

I hope your day with your daughter went well, Belle. Does she eat a lot of dairy? That can cause post nasal drip. Especially if she comes from an ethnic group that didn’t historically eat a lot of dairy.

Thank you, Ava, for posting about your mom. Her behavior is so eerily similar to my own mother’s -no surprise there as they have the same disorder. Hearing how you dealt with the latest issues with yours with such grace and assertiveness is helpful to me. My sister & I had to protect my daughters from our mother’s negative influences on them as well. I can see that your son might be better off to move away from his grandmother, and maybe he will realize that one day. Meanwhile, at least he has you to support him.

Babysitting went well. I got a fair amount of cleaning done. That Mabel is so sweet & cuddly! I took Beckett to the park in the morning, and he rewarded me with a long afternoon nap.

Wishing a fulfilling AF day to all!

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hiya friends. Thanks for the thoughts on daughters and kids. I appreciate the perspective and validation, and will be grateful for the attention she wants now, as I do know that not far off, she will want to be anywhere but here. She does have friends and grown up mentors in the neighborhood and its helpful. I was in a really negative headspace earlier this week - so things feel better.

Ava, glad you're on the mend. Also glad you ditched the pain meds. Your mom sounds like a doozy. Too bad she takes her stuff out on you. You don't deserve it. Even if you have boundaries, I'm sure its hard.

Belle, your daughter will figure her stuff out. I'm sure she's glad she has you. No matter how much time we do or don't spend with them, they know we will ALWAYS be there for them - and that is the most important thing. This is a really, really hard time in life just starting college. Always wing adjustments before learning to fly. I get that drip thing too with dairy... and western medicine didn't reveal the allergies. She may want to try eliminating a few of the biggest offenders on her own to see if it helps. There are more markers of allergy and sensitivity than regular doctors usually test for.

I have about an hour left this afternoon to work - and I'm not feeling it. But I'll get a couple things done then call it the weekend. I'm feeling tired. Happy weekend!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Greetings Nesters,

So it turns out there was a total of 7 tornadoes in the area yesterday, one of them an EF3 that did a lot of damage quite a way north of here, geez. Mother Nature must have been mad!!

Slo, I hope you don’t sleep thru fire alarms, that could be bad. The last time ours went off in the middle of the night I almost had a heart attack. There was no fire, just likely a dust problem on the sensor up near the ceiling, duh. Glad you enjoyed your babysitting time, it’s the best

Kensho, I hope your weekend is free of work stuff & relaxing.

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Ava and Byrdie - glad you're both healing up from your recent procedures. It's always great to have things like that in the rear-view mirror.

Belle - sounds like you've got some good things planned to help your daughter transition to college. I hope you have a wonderful time together.

Lav and Slo - yikes on all the tornadoes in your areas! Glad you're both safe.


We're back in the midst of another heat wave here. Ugh! We did buy a fantastic new fan today from a neighbor about 10 blocks away, and it's pretty exciting. It's sort of a retro industrial style, all metal, and 3 levels that are all powerful. Somehow it's still fairly quiet. At least we'll keep the air inside our house moving, even if it isn't cool (still no AC).

Happy weekends everyone!

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Morning Nesters,

Got about half way through reading posts from the past 2+ weeks..
Wags, congratulations on your 5 AF years! Well done..:happy2:

I'm leaving for a day trip with my guy but wanted to post my intentions for the day.. Namely NOT to drink, no matter what/who. It's never a problem when we're together, but I want to be back in the habit of writing here each and every day.. never taking a "break" or making excuses for not having time. Will have to figure out how to download MWO on my phone. I'll check back in this evening..

Wishing everyone a nice day.. xx

[Slo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Yay for the weekend, Kensho! I’m so very tired lately, and can’t even find the energy to get out on my bike. So I’m ready to go into chill weekend mode too.

That sounds like a top-of-the-line fan, Wags, and should make a difference. Daughter is being advised to bring a “box fan” to college, for the ancient dorm with no air-conditioning that she has been assigned to.

I am going to HB’s friend’s funeral today; he suddenly dropped dead from a heart attack at age 60. So sad. He was a heavy, chronic drinker all of his adult life, and always had a beer belly.
Meanwhile, another of HB’s half-dozen close friends is recovering from surgery to remove a tumor from his pancreas, before they go back in to deal with the lesions on his liver. Another heavy alcohol drinker. His wife said he (post-surgery), “Can’t wait to get back to his Diet Coke!” And HB replies, “Let me know when he can go have a beer!” Hmmm…if I had an ailing liver and pancreas, I wouldn’t think dumping excessive aspartame and ethanol on them, both known liver toxins, would be a good plan! Each to his own, I guess.
Another of these friends, who I could see, anyways (takes one to know one, I guess), was deep into alcoholism; already passed at age 48.
HB is still trying to have his friends weekend Up North this weekend, but the crew is getting much smaller; and they have to come back early for the funeral.

So let’s celebrate our AF weekends! It’s the way to go!

LC, so glad you have a guy who is easy for you to be AF with.

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Saturday evening Nesters,

Sunny & not too hot today for a change
I was just looking at some weather stats for the year so far & we’ve had over 26” of rain. Seems excessive since the west is so dry right now. I’m pretty sure more is on the way tomorrow.
I made a vegan wonton soup for dinner which was pretty good. I used finely diced baby bella mushrooms in place of the mystery meat you usually find in a wonton, haha!!

Wags, congrats on the fan - it will be your newest & best friend this summer
I hope it cools the house down enough so you can be comfortable. We have central AC but we also have a whole house fan that we sometimes use & it is noisy but it rids the house of hot air very quickly.

LC, good to see you & I hope your weekend is wonderful & of course AF!

Slo, your husband’s friends sound like my older brothers, hard drinkers & smokers right up to the very end. One is gone now at age 67 & the other has multiple health issues. They never had any intention of quitting either. We can’t make people quit but we can show them they way if they are ready to listen.
Exercising in this heat has not been on my radar either, yuck.

Hello to the rest of the crew & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Quick fly-by to say happy Saturday. Hope you all are having good AF weekends, whether chilling or (sadly) attending funerals.

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good Lordy, it’s hot. Our heat index was 117° yesterday, just miserable. I stayed inside and made chocolates.
Vision is improving, but the second eye is still flickery. Dr. Google says that’s normal. My near vision is getting better, too. I’m very happy so far.
Wishing everyone an easy Sunday. Byrdie
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[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Sunday greetings Nesters,

Rainy day here & much cooler, OK with me!!
Had a request for turkey chili today but it turned out too spicy for me even though I reduced all the spices involved, haha! Guess I’m getting a little too delicate in my old age, oh well. My husband can eat the whole pot over the next few days

Wags, hope your weekend is going well.

Byrdie, glad your vision is improving & you are happy with the results. The chocolates are beautiful as usual!!

Hello to all & wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lav - glad you're enjoying cooler temps

Byrdie - sorry to hear you're in the throes of such heat and humidity, but that's great news about your vision! How in the heck are you getting your chocolates to not melt in the heat? I agree with Lav that they're beautiful.


Not much new to report on this end. Ooh except I have tomorrow off so a-biking we will go!

Hellos and waves to everyone, and Happy August. How did it get to be August already?!?!?

[KENSHO]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi Nest! Not bad temps here, but the air quality is not good.

Wags & PAV, how is your air quality? Wags, it's amazing that you are biking with your wife. the recovery from her surgery seems to be going well?

Byrdie... you really speak the language of love directly to me with those chocolate pics. One of my rare pleasures, since my diet is so limited. Your yummies look like they belong in a fancy shop. Sorry the heats so intense. Glad that you are seeing better every day - though I think you could bake/chocolatier blind.

Lav, mushrooms are magic, I swear! (no, not that kind) They add texture and flavor depth. I'll bet your dinner was delish! You could make another pot of mild chili and combine them to get less heat. I have done that a lot for the kids in the past. I always seem to make mine too spicy.

I opened the news first thing this morning and MAN. We have work to do as humans. I feel like I need to participate in the change I want to see, instead of just carrying on. Just having opinions and modeling the behavior of doing self-research and finding truth is not enough. What can *I* do th help? Climate change and the environment has always been a passion of mine since I love nature so much. Hmmm.

On the other side of things, I barely billed anything for July, so I'm feeling pressure to work extra this month - which puts strain on my work/life balance (my daughter still has 2 weeks until school starts)! And then there's the mask issue at schools... I'm feeling a bit tentative about sending an unvaxinated child to a cesspool. Anyway, there's clearly a lot on my mind. Might be a good morning to do a little yoga and breathing.

Have a good day everyone.