Newbies Nest

[Janewalker]

Newbies Nest

Hi all
Just to let you know- I am not going to give up trying to give up. I appreciate each and everyone of you

[Byrdlady]

Newbies Nest

I hope this works, I'm not a computer geenyus.....it's like this was written for us!



Mentally Strong People: The 13 Things They Avoid


We can define mental strength by identifying the things mentally strong individuals don?t do. Over the weekend, I was impressed by this list compiled by Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and licensed clinical social worker, that she shared in LifeHack. It impressed me enough I?d also like to share her list here along with my thoughts on how each of these items is particularly applicable to entrepreneurs.

1. Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves. You don?t see mentally strong people feeling sorry for their circumstances or dwelling on the way they?ve been mistreated. They have learned to take responsibility for their actions and outcomes, and they have an inherent understanding of the fact that frequently life is not fair. They are able to emerge from trying circumstances with self-awareness and gratitude for the lessons learned. When a situation turns out badly, they respond with phrases such as ?Oh, well.? Or perhaps simply, ?Next!?

2. Give Away Their Power. Mentally strong people avoid giving others the power to make them feel inferior or bad. They understand they are in control of their actions and emotions. They know their strength is in their ability to manage the way they respond.

3. Shy Away from Change. Mentally strong people embrace change and they welcome challenge. Their biggest ?fear,? if they have one, is not of the unknown, but of becoming complacent and stagnant. An environment of change and even uncertainty can energize a mentally strong person and bring out their best.

4. Waste Energy on Things They Can?t Control. Mentally strong people don?t complain (much) about bad traffic, lost luggage, or especially about other people, as they recognize that all of these factors are generally beyond their control. In a bad situation, they recognize that the one thing they can always control is their own response and attitude, and they use these attributes well.

5. Worry About Pleasing Others. Know any people pleasers? Or, conversely, people who go out of their way to dis-please others as a way of reinforcing an image of strength? Neither position is a good one. A mentally strong person strives to be kind and fair and to please others where appropriate, but is unafraid to speak up. They are able to withstand the possibility that someone will get upset and will navigate the situation, wherever possible, with grace.

It takes much practice to hone mental strength
It takes much practice to hone mental strength

6. Fear Taking Calculated Risks. A mentally strong person is willing to take calculated risks. This is a different thing entirely than jumping headlong into foolish risks. But with mental strength, an individual can weigh the risks and benefits thoroughly, and will fully assess the potential downsides and even the worst-case scenarios before they take action.

7. Dwell on the Past. There is strength in acknowledging the past and especially in acknowledging the things learned from past experiences?but a mentally strong person is able to avoid miring their mental energy in past disappointments or in fantasies of the ?glory days? gone by. They invest the majority of their energy in creating an optimal present and future.

8. Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over. We all know the definition of insanity, right? It?s when we take the same actions again and again while hoping for a different and better outcome than we?ve gotten before. A mentally strong person accepts full responsibility for past behavior and is willing to learn from mistakes. Research shows that the ability to be self-reflective in an accurate and productive way is one of the greatest strengths of spectacularly successful executives and entrepreneurs.

9. Resent Other People?s Success. It takes strength of character to feel genuine joy and excitement for other people?s success. Mentally strong people have this ability. They don?t become jealous or resentful when others succeed (although they may take close notes on what the individual did well). They are willing to work hard for their own chances at success, without relying on shortcuts.

10. Give Up After Failure. Every failure is a chance to improve. Even the greatest entrepreneurs are willing to admit that their early efforts invariably brought many failures. Mentally strong people are willing to fail again and again, if necessary, as long as the learning experience from every ?failure? can bring them closer to their ultimate goals.

11. Fear Alone Time. Mentally strong people enjoy and even treasure the time they spend alone. They use their downtime to reflect, to plan, and to be productive. Most importantly, they don?t depend on others to shore up their happiness and moods. They can be happy with others, and they can also be happy alone.

12. Feel the World Owes Them Anything. Particularly in the current economy, executives and employees at every level are gaining the realization that the world does not owe them a salary, a benefits package and a comfortable life, regardless of their preparation and schooling. Mentally strong people enter the world prepared to work and succeed on their merits, at every stage of the game.

13. Expect Immediate Results. Whether it?s a workout plan, a nutritional regimen, or starting a business, mentally strong people are ?in it for the long haul?. They know better than to expect immediate results. They apply their energy and time in measured doses and they celebrate each milestone and increment of success on the way. They have ?staying power.? And they understand that genuine changes take time. Do you have mental strength? Are there elements on this list you need more of? With thanks to Amy Morin, I would like to reinforce my own abilities further in each of these areas today. How about you?

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

My husband is drunk and drinking alone in the bedroom. I brought my son out into the living room to watch tv I don't think either of us should be around him right now. He said he wants to quit but I am starting to think maybe he isn't ready...I do not want to leave him but I don't know how long I can stay strong with him drinking around me everyday..I am proud of these 15 days and I am not giving them up for anything but I am not sure at what point I should walk away? hes been to a few AA meetings with me but he continues to drink and hes been getting mean lately too. Should i contiinue to stay and offer my support or should I leave him until he can get it together? I just don't know anymore. Should I be doing more?

thank you. hope everyone is doing well

-Love

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

Great post Byrdie!!!!!!!! That is a keeper for sure.

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

I am having a hard day gosh darn it! Bryd, your post couldn't have come at a more perfect time!!! Lots of hugs. Not wanting to give you a complex but your'e like Jesus to me at this moment!!!

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

GOOD MORNING NESTERS. Just a quick check in before work. Its been a busy night in the nest. I will catch up on all the posts later today. More Christmas parties on the horizon.I need to be vigilant. The thought of Hangovers sickens me!!! I have had enough of this madness. Have a nice days guys

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Hello Nesters, I am trying to build on all the positives of not drinking. It has only ever caused me sadness, guilt,depression and basically has robbed me of many really good times if I had been sober. On Friday I went to a staff breakup and sat quietly watching everyone slowly getting drunk. They are lovely workmates and special to me ,but I just felt what IS the damn point of it all?? If I drunk I would have just been an idiot and woke with a massive Hangover and another wasted Saturday. Don,t want to sound a smart ass, but the things people do and say when drunk is madness. Unfortunatley, one girl was so drunk she made an absolute ass of herself sexually. That girl now has to turn up to work today and face others who didn,t step over that line. It just isn,t worth the crap that goes with booze. Have a nice af Monday everyone.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

I agree hadit...made a fool of myself in the past...but NO MORE!!
I guess it is Monday Morning there....still Sunday afternoon here in Ohio..I love that we are all over the globe but still share a common bond....

[hadit]

Newbies Nest

Yeah Dottie, Monday am 8..am It is nice chatting with people around the globe. I have just realised I don,t have to start work till a bit later, so thought I would hop on to mwo for a bit longer. Humid here today. We are in Summer now and can expect Temps into the 40 deg cel in a few months. I live in a climate where it runs from 0 deg to 45 cel. But its nice; we have 4 seasons and they are all welcomed when they arrive. Some parts of oz are just wet and hot or dry and hot!!! :wow: Just love this. Best describes us alkies ha ha

[available]

Newbies Nest

Pav and OP congrats on your 7 days, we can all continue this journey together. Onwards and upwards I say.

ML so glad you are trying to work things out with hubs, its hard to throw away those years especially to AL. Keep strong girl and protect your quit as Byrd says.

Hadit good on you for going AF at the xmas party. So true isnt it that no one pays particular attention if you are drinking or not, we just think they are looking and noticing. God how many times have I been that woman you mentioned but not at xmas parties thank god. Oh well we live and learn by our mistakes I suppose but cutting out AL is a major one for us alkies. Isn't it great to not wake up with a hangover and make the most of the day that is. Overcast, humid and rain in my neck of the woods.

Love glad you made it to day 15, as we say you need to concentrate on yourself but you know that and you will be fine. Only you can make the decision on what you are going to do Love but you know you need to be AF and be there for your son. i am thinking of you a we all are.

Jane stay here and stay close, the days will soon rack up for you.

AC bad days come and go, it gets better and being on here helps so very much.

Well today i am not feeling well, headachy and just in general blah so rang up and not going to work, I need to realise that work is not going to fall apart if I am not there and I need some me time, so a quiet day at home in bed and tomorrow is another day. Glad to see everyone is going great.

Great post Byrd, going to cut and paste that one.

[Dottie Belle]

Newbies Nest

It is 27F here today with snow on the ground..I love
having 4 seasons but not a big fan of the snow unless I can just watch it snow and stay home...

[Loveless]

Newbies Nest

yes my own sobriety and my son come first if my husband can not help himself than no one else can either. i am kind of worried about my birthday on christmas eve because thisll be the first birthday ive been sober since i can remember...im also worried about christmas but i am not giving in i will get through it i just have to remember how sick i was.

glas everyone is doing well have a great M/A/E thank u for your continuing support.

-Love

[allankay]

Newbies Nest

Loveless,

I would like to make a comment on your post. I do not know much about you situation or much about your relationship with your husband. However, I do think that you are being a bit unreasonable when after only 15 days AF you want to give up on your husband and walk away...

Alcohol is a killer no doubt but it can be beaten. Look at many people on this site. Many including myself have been very mean and selfish in the past but now we are trying to pay back by helping others and being more understanding.

So unless you are in an abusive relationship I think it is way to early too give up on your family. Also your son deserves a father in his life.

Allan

[available]

Newbies Nest

One day at a time Love that is all we can do and do not let anyone get you a drink on your birthday, its funny how some people want to see you fail. A christmas baby how lovely though everyone who celebrates near christmas never gets enough presents apparently lol. I can't remember being sober on any of my birthdays and I turn 50 next year and the children want to give me a party. Oh now that will be a challenge and a half.

[aclassicgirl]

Newbies Nest

I'm having a hard day. I feel like crying and yelling at someone. I hate being surrounded by people and yet feeling so alone. It's one of my hardest times.