Here I am awake late again. I tell you I would much rather feel this way than I do when I feel gloomy and hopeless. I am starting to think these up and downs are just bipolar disorder or something but why is it manifesting now? I have spent more than usual, felt energized, sleeping less and waking up feeling more rested, overall happier since Saturday. My question is am I able to control these mood swings or not. You all will know soon enough haha. Speaking of controlling thoughts and feelings...
I realized after rereading my posts and responses from you all that I have a confidence issue I need to get over. Every now and then I achieve something that my brain can't believe I did, and it boosts me up a notch, only to return to form after a few days/weeks. I wrote a post that seemed like I was on a pink cloud before my wife miscarried and I am finally starting to feel that way again. But what happens when life happens again? Will I bouncd back faster since it won't be my first tragedy without alcohol? I intend to not wait to find out. So what's the solution? Believe it or not, I started learning about NLP and priming my brain to remind myself on a daily basis of some of my greatest achievements/times I acted in a flow state. I don't even talk to myself in my head anymore the same, I actually started referring to myself by a nickname that reminds myself of times I acted strong/confident. I did this because when I was a kid I changed the name I went by because the name I went by kids made fun of me for. I don't know if it's some subconscious social mammoth crap or what, but I am way more mindful of my thoughts and definitely talk more positively to myself. When I have a thought that's negarive or makes me feel bad that seems inappropriate I think that's not like you, your this new person now. I am hoping this works and prevents the next bad life situation from getting any worse.
What we think about ourselves is so powerful. I have heard that confuscious quote about whether you think you can or you can't your right,but it's really comin home lately.
Now if I start posting on here and sound any crazier than that, like I have developed another personality or something, send me a PM please lol.
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