Newbies Nest

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, Nest:

Ill do my best and leave the rest.

Those are words to live by, Byrdie!

Lav - you are so lucky to have such close relationships with offspring and grandchildren!

Marylou - My FiL is the contrarian, and I heartily concur that the non-alcohol-infused step back from the brink rather than the alcohol-fueled toe-to-toe is a far superior outcome in my book as well. I know I'm not going to change his mind, and he just gets pompous, dismissive and argumentative. I used to stand up for myself and everyone else NO MATTER WHAT. Now I can diffuse the situation much more easily. Same with my husband. Instead of holding a grudge and nit-picking, I can stand back and say to myself ' "what's going on here? What is his perspective?" I'm not saying it is perfect or that we don't fight, just saying there are FAR fewer fights, and they are much less intense. Chalk one up for sobriety.

Happy Friday, Nest. No ticket to Boozeville here.

xo

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Pav, I had to leave a lot more undone than Id hoped. I camt tell you how many vacations Ive spent on the phone trying to get a security system installed! Today was absolutely nuts. I havent packed a single thing and we are leaving Sunday morning. I was telling Mick, it sure is stressful getting ready to relax!
I hope everyone has a peaceful evening! Its only Friday, not a ticket to BoozeVille! Byrdie

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Just had a big thunderstorm move thru here with tons of rain. Here's hoping tomorrow is a touch cooler & a lot less humid

Byrdie, I sure hope you can get away & not have to worry about work. We all deserve a little peace & uninterrupted quiet.

Pav, I have to work on those relationships from time to time, ha ha but they are mostly good. My DIL has been totally avoiding us for the past 11 months though.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lots of good posts here, as always!, Nesters..
I know that all of my relationships are better when I don't drink. How I listen, my perception, how I choose to respond or not respond and then the way I do it. Right now I'm having the chance to practice with my almost 16 year old daughter. She is so smart and clear and mature and fortunately didn't inherit my way of manipulation.. which I'm working hard to lose... so she says it like it is. And I have to be strong with both feet planted for her to respect me and take me seriously. Which thank god she still does. I hope I someday have another chance to try out a sober romantic relationship.. I believe what everyone recommends about having a year af first. I think part of my problem in the past has been that the relationships have alway begun with alcohol playing much too large a role. It would be nice to begin differently.

I'm happy it's Saturday and am looking forward to an easy day with my younger daughter.. Weekend market and falafel, a bit of Modern Family, some card games and sewing..I'm cherishing the last months before she's a teenager!:happy2:

My friend Andre is taking great steps to get himself sorted and will hopefully have a room somewhere soon. I have to admit I will be very happy when that happens.. for myself, as well!

Hope everyone has a nice weekend.. I'll be checking in to read often.
xx

[lifechange]

Re: Newbies Nest

Have a wonderful vacation, Byrdie!!

[Byrdlady]

Re: Newbies Nest

Lifechange, happy to hear that about Andre, I worry about him too! Amazing how all our lives touch.

I was thinking about my comment above, 'preparing to relax is very stressful'. It isnt a whole lot different than what we go through as we try and lose our dependence on AL. Yes, it is hard work, stressful, anxiety-inducing and all the rest, but the rewards on the other side are MORE than worth it. I wouldnt trade my MinPeace today for all the AL in Vegas (sorry Pauly and other residents of Vegas!). All I can say is when you get an urge to say Feck IT, fight it with every tool you've got. It is ONLY a thought and they can be controlled. The harder your craving is, the more we shoukd say to ourselves, 'THIS is NOT normal, I MUST get through it to get over it'. If not now, when? THIS is the day things change. I promise, there is NO downside to NOT drinking!
Happy Sattidy, all! Byrdie

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, All:

LC - Being "present" for my teenaged kids has been one of the greatest gifts. I'm glad to hear Andre is doing well.

I was cleaning up a hallway closet - a process akin to an anthropological dig because it is so stuffed with stuff. I came across two bottles of prescription medicine for high blood pressure. The last time I filled those prescriptions? January 7, 2014. The date I quit alcohol? December 2, 2013. It really doesn't take rocket science to figure out what happened there. I danced a little jig in celebration with myself.

Byrdie - I hear you on vacation. I went on vacation the end of July/beginning of August and I SWORE that I would spend at least four of the seven days completely unplugged from work. Of course that didn't happen. I am eyeballs deep in a fun and interesting but EXTREMELY time consuming new venture. I have to remember that living in stress day-to-day, even if it is sometimes good stress, is not good for me. I sometimes feel like I'm going to hit a wall hard, but I really try to get exercise and sleep in order to take care of myself. I know this work phase won't be forever. I really do hope you get to actually unplug from your job for a while and enjoy your vacation.

Speaking of exercise - off on a hike. I love getting out in nature and enjoying the company of friends in a beautiful place.

Happy SOBER Saturday.
Pav

[Neo]

Re: Newbies Nest

Got a new app called headspace. It is a meditation app for iphone

[Hypernova]

Re: Newbies Nest

Just a quick drop in to say hello to everyone. I am sorry I caved. I am not drinking much but know that this will be temporary if I continue. The stress, lack of sleep, poor diet and my inability to exercise go me here. I am looking for a day 1 b/c a couple of beers a day is stressing me out even worse than being a caregiver. At the very least it does not help me and only increases the stress. I cannot believe how upside down my life is and I need to take it back. I know that when and if I come back I need to share more and get more off my chest. Best wishes to everyone and until I arrive ready for a day one I will come on here and lurk and read.

[NoSugar]

Re: Newbies Nest

Here's some thoughts on what you're dealing with @Hypernova: https://www.mywayout.org/community/j...t-day-1-a.html
I hope you're able to grab that elusive mindset soon. All the best, NS

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Gearing up for another one of those wicked thunderstorms. Apparently yesterday's didn't quite clear the air, haha!

Hypernova, I know that being a caregiver is an all encompassing, tough, never ending job. Back in the mid 80's my parents moved in with us & my mom passed away less than a year later. I was devastated & unaware that my dad was going to live another 12 years, omg. By the time he passed I was depleted & that is when y drinking career began. I hurt myself pretty badly during that time until I finally just got so sick of it I finally said 'Now or Never' & quit for the final time. You can do this & we're here to support you.

Hello to everyone & wishing a safe night in the nest for all!

Lav

[paulywogg]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hello nesters,Byrdie have a nice trip Lav,I learn something new about you and the life you've lived everyday, would be hard to be a caregiver for so long,especially to someone you love,Pav,excellent on not needing those meds anymore! So many "health problems" we thought we had were only from boozing! Neo you just gave me an idea to download a meditation app on my phone,i like the youtube ones but sometimes theyre too long,Hyper,your post made me sad,you seem so down,read the thread NS linked,i know how hard it is to get out of the bullring while drinking,its awful!hello to all and hoping everyone has a blessed AF day

[Pavati]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi, and happy sober Sunday, all.

I have so much going on in my life right now that I'm having trouble sleeping all the way through. That hasn't happened to me in a while. I know I'll push through it - mostly by checking some things off my list today. I got out in nature for a long hike yesterday, so I'm feeling better prepared to tackle everything.

Hope you all enjoy your days. Take care of yourselves through good times and bad.

Pav

[wagmor]

Re: Newbies Nest

Hi everyone,

Hope you've all been having (or have had) good weekends. Things are good in wagland, albeit a little busy. My B-I-L and S-I-L, who were staying with us for the past 9-10 days, just flew home late last night. We loved having them, but it was also a lot of work. My B-I-L doesn't drink but he does have a serious eating and weight problem. Sometimes it felt like our entire day was being organized around the next meal. It actually reminded me of the gyrations people go through to ensure there's enough al on hand, to be sure they get their next drinks, etc. It made me sad, but it also made me realize again how freeing it is to quit drinking.

I'm also still juggling a boat load of work as I try to grow my business. Things will be very busy through mid-Sept, and then I'll be done with several of my current clients. I might turn around and get a whole new crop of people, and it might taper off for awhile since the work is a bit seasonal and cyclical.

I've been talking/chatting with my cousin who has brain cancer. She's really struggling right now, and my heart is breaking for her. I'm just trying to be a good listener, and to be someone who is honest with her and that she can be honest with in return. I know from experience with my mom that people often rally around someone who receives such a devastating diagnosis, trying to encourage them to "fight" and "beat" the cancer or whatever. And with good intentions, people tell the diagnosed person that they just need to be strong, that they will be done with all of this soon and back to life. But the reality for some of those patients is that it isn't about fighting hard enough or keeping a positive enough attitude, and being told those things can only make the patient feel like they're letting everyone down, or like it's somehow a weakness on their part if they don't kick cancer's ass or whatever. So, I'm trying to be a different source of support - one who is loving and encouraging, but who is also honest about the reality of such a diagnosis and who doesn't impose my own expectations onto my cousin. I'm trying to give her love and support no matter how she chooses to deal with this, and to lovingly share the little I know about end of life etc. It's very hard, but it's the least I could do. I hope it's providing her some small bit of comfort.


G-man - glad you're on the mend and hope you continue to heal quickly!

Lav - hooray that your weather seems to have turned a bit more comfortable

Ava - happy belated bday!

Byrdie - have a great relaxing vacation. Yep, preparing to relax IS exhausting!

Waves to Pav, NS, LC, MaryLou, Pauly, Neo, Hyper, Roobs...and everyone else I'm forgetting at the moment. Catch up with you all again later today or tomorrow!

[Lavande]

Re: Newbies Nest

Good evening Nesters,

Much nicer day around here even though we never did get that storm last night, ha ha - wonder where it went!!!

Wags, I am happy you are using a different approach with your cousin. During my long nursing career I heard family members almost demanding their loved ones to hang on & fight their terminal disease - so sad. I truly believe they do that for their own comfort only, it sure doesn't help the dying patient any. Assuring her comfort & peace is the best & kindest thing you can do for your cousin right now. It's the right thing to do :hug:

Pauly, I have lived a very long & full life. Believe me it's not easy to spill it out all at once. Keep paying attention & you will hear it all

Pav, everyone is telling me that their sleep is off lately. I read that the solar eclipse may be responsible, who knew?

Wishing everyone a safe night in the nest!

Lav