My Story

[Pavati]

My Story

Ava, My Friend!

I am not feeling as eloquent as NoSugar right now, but - all those things and more.

I am so happy we decided to quit at almost the same time so we could be on this journey together. You're a special person!

xo

[available]

My Story

It has been 33 days since i last updated my thread and its been a good 33 days. I am at a stage where al is not a focus in my life constantly, day in day out. Sure it is around but al is so much easier to deal with.

I have been through stress and made it alcohol free
I have enjoyed starting to bring bits of my old life into my new life, simple things like knitting, walking the dog
I have enjoyed suffering less anxiety
I have enjoyed waking up daily without a hangover
I have enjoyed communicating with my children more so than ever before
I have enjoyed spending quality time with my children sober, rather than being there in body not mind
I have enjoyed meeting so many new friends here, it takes time to develop good friendships, i did not have time when i was drinking, i was too busy planning my next drink
I have enjoyed being more patient and tolerant, people amuse me more now
I have enjoyed starting to be able and confident enough to help people on here
I have enjoyed cleaning even!
I have enjoyed being totally honest and open in my quest of staying sober, i dont have to lie or hide now or be ashamed or embarrassed.
I have enjoyed waking up every single day of these 90+ days

I still have days where i THINK i could have a wine and just have one, take it or leave it but that is my al brain working to try and entice me back to the deep dark place i used to live in. That is not an option for me, it cant be ever.

What can be, is to be content. I dont have a lot of money, none actually haha, i dont go for materialistic items in life, i work because i have to not because i want to but i do have everything i could possibly need and that would be my children and my self esteem. Its a wonderful experience to like ones self again and i highly recommend it.

As i will always say MWO saved my life and the warm and wonderful friends i have met along the way are a total bonus. Bring on 2016 and 1000 days!

[Dottie Belle]

My Story

Way to go ava...I am looking forward to 1000...but for now 200 will be nice...

[NoSugar]

My Story

available;1633181 wrote:
What can be, is to be content. I dont have a lot of money, none actually haha, i dont go for materialistic items in life, i work because i have to not because i want to but i do have everything i could possibly need and that would be my children and my self esteem. Its a wonderful experience to like ones self again and i highly recommend it.

As i will always say MWO saved my life and the warm and wonderful friends i have met along the way are a total bonus. Bring on 2016 and 1000 days!

You do seem content, Ava, and you truly enjoy the normal things of life and see the humor in the rougher parts. You help me remember not to take everything so seriously - including this business of keeping AL out of our lives. It is serious business but we don't always have to have boring, sober attitudes about it. In fact, it's becoming a lot of FUN! I'm glad to be doing it with you. :h NS

[little beagle]

My Story

Ava part of my enjoyment of waking up these days is reading your inspiring posts.

[Pavati]

My Story

Yeah, what they said.

I'm with LB - I love your posts - truthful, funny, heartfelt, helpful, all of it.

Onward to 100 and beyond!

[j-vo]

My Story

Ava, thank you for all you've done for me, the time you've given to me. You're one incredible, beautiful woman, and I feel so blessed to be on this journey with you!

[NotHappyHourHappyLife]

My Story

Ava, I want you to know that you inspire me... I'm taking a chapter out of your book!

Next month, I will be traveling to Paris for a week, and rather than set myself up for failure, I'm taking my 24 year old daughter along with me. Rather than drinking memorable french wine (that I would most certainly forget), I'm creating an Alcohol Free memory with my daughter that will last forever. I thank you for sharing your Bangkok holiday with us strangers across the world.

My mom died about 19 months ago, and I miss her everyday. Your bantering stories with her are endearing to me, because while she loves you in action, she's rough around the edges. :hug:

Happy Friday, Ava! I'm glad you are here! Patty

[available]

My Story

Thanks Patty, it was worth every single minute being sober on this holiday. I plan on updating my thread in the next couple of days as from when i first started to today my life has only gotten better. We were both very sad to say goodbye today and that to me makes never drinking again an easy option. My children are coming over tomorrow to celebrate my birthday and i am having a 50th birthday on sunday completely sober. 2014 has thus far been totally amazing and one which i never envisaged in 2013.

[NoSugar]

My Story

Welcome back, friend :l!

[available]

My Story

im exhausted NS, 36 hours of being apparently awake and functioning! Nearly time for a big sleep and prepare for tomorrow but i will wake up and have my cuppa and check in with one and all. xxx

[available]

My Story

Now i am up to 140+ days, bloody date time calculator wont load so no precise date but hey who needs to be precise. How do i feel now from when i started this journey, i feel nice! Funny description i know but i never really felt nice drinking, i thought i did/was but i wasnt. I realised this after my holiday with mum which i thought was going to be the holiday from hell in so many ways. It turned out be another growing experience in my sobriety and i am enjoying "firsts" as i call them.

10+ weeks ago i agreed to go with my MOTHER on a holiday for my 50th. My first reaction was horror, what had i just agreed to, i was pleasing her yet again as she wanted to go but she was paying so yep i was going. I was petrified, emotions in full swing. What if i drink, i dont want to drink, she will make me drink with her words, i need a plan. What kind of plan, fuck any plan would do, think Linda, think. For me overthinking is not good or stress, we seem to be good at that us alkies so we bantered it around on MWO and as the time came closer and more sober days were achieved the plan was in place. And the first plan was to tell mum i was not drinking. I felt like a young child who had taken a lolly without asking and her retort was as i expected - wish you had given up smoking! No more was said but actions speak louder than words. she did not drink very much, that in itself was the support i needed. We did not speak about my drinking, past or future. We laughed, we joked, we shared a room, we shopped, we ate together, she snored, i didnt pass out. Never did i imagine i would share two weeks with mum without an argument. I learnt patience and for me that is one of my biggest downfalls. Previously if i wanted something done, it had to be yesterday or ten minutes before i asked. Yes she annoyed me but she is old, sometimes forgetful, bit slow but i always kept an eye out for her instead of thinking "god hurry up". Al seems to make you very frustrated very easily or it could be the hangover each day that does not bode well in a country that has 150% humidity and 36 degree heat.

We did not want to go home, we were enjoying this chapter together and we even talked about me visiting her in Queensland. I have not been to her place in over 9 years, my excuse i dont like the humidity at hers. Mmmm i can go to Thailand but not to her place, yep right, great excuse. Now i agreed that that would be a lovely idea. I cant even imagine what she tells her friends of why her own daughter will not visit, that makes me very sad but i cant take back what i have done. She told me she loves me which she had stopped saying, now i understand why she did, she was also starting to block me out of her life and all due to fucking al. To write this makes me sad and teary but to know that i have changed all by giving up al makes it nice. We now chat on fb everyday and everyday she tells me she loves me and everyday i tell her i love her.

I have now celebrated xmas, new year, a holiday and my 50th birthday sober. If anyone had of suggested that on the 30th November 2013 i would have thought they were totally insane.

My initial plan was to have a big party for my 50th and have a drink, just a few, make it worth my while, done the days sober, proved to myself i could do it and i have. My 50th was spent jetlagged with my 4 beautiful children drinking tea and eating pizza, how could it possibly get any better than that. My children now recognise that i am an alcoholic and to see the look in their eyes of how proud they are is worthwhile and to have seen the look from mum also will keep me forever on this journey of sobriety.

I liked me at 57 days sober, i am really starting to love the new 140+ sober me. To let the past go is something that i have found to be very important in being sober, if we hold onto the past we cant possibly move forward. To me they are memories, put safely away where they belong and now i can create new memories that wont need to be put safely away as they will be great memories and sober ones.

[NoSugar]

My Story

I wish everyone who wonders whether giving up drinking would be worth the effort, discomfort, fear, and tears could read your story, Ava. It is one of transformation, forgiveness, and love. You are a wonderful woman and friend. :h NS

[Kradle123]

My Story

I am completely humbled by you Ava...and I've trying to PM you back about my friend....I just can't get the words out yet, please forgive me.

I'm so happy you enjoyed your mom time. That is huge. :l:h

[Guitarista]

My Story

Brilliant stuff Ava.

Right. I am going to swallow my pride, or rather, leave it and ego at the door and say this.

I am inspired by every single person on this thread, and on this amazing site. But i am adopting 3 of said amazing people. Ava, NS, and Little beagle.

You 3 people are inspiring me no end. I am now going to follow you guys around like a happy, enthusiastic Pit bull who's found his direction again, soaking up inspiration from your respective journey's and using it as a positive energy for mine. (This may contravene current International stalking laws, but i plead special consideration your honour).