Announcement

Collapse
No announcement yet.

Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

Collapse
X
Collapse
 
  • Page of 3
  • Filter
  • Time
  • Show
Clear All
new posts
Previous 1 2 3 template Next
    #16
    Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

    Uda, before I discovered this forum, I believed that I was the only heavy drinking mom in the world. Reading and participating in countless threads I realized that there are so many mom's just like me. What a wonderful comfort that was. To no longer feel like a freak, etc. And it helped ease some of that guilt - to communicate with other moms who are very caring, devoted, loving... and happen to have drinking problems. When I figured out that these moms were good people and good moms, it helped me to believe that maybe I am too. So - I understand your idea to have a mom section... but wonder if you have read and perused the forum enough to know that - as a mom - you'll get plenty of support and comraderie all over this site without the need for a special section?
    Hugs,
    imatree

    Comment

      #17
      Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

      uda, i'm sorry, i wasnt being flippant like tawny (your own words tawny!), i was being sarcastic. after all, most on this site are mums, but i was in a bad mood.

      imatree said it really that because you are new to this board you dont realise that you are already communicating with alot of mums (guilty or otherwise). you also shouldnt narrow yourself to 'just' mums, you will miss out on a lot of insights and opinions.

      personally, men are a valid minority on this forum and i dont read their thread.

      honest.


      no really.

      roxane

      Comment

        #18
        Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

        "Mom" here! Got the T shirt and everything......including the guilt!
        BTW...the T shirt says......YES..It's ALL my fault"! LOL!

        Being a "mom" is the most wonderful-awful job in the world, isn't it?

        :l Nancy
        "Be still and know that I am God"

        Psalm 46:10

        Comment

          #19
          Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

          tawnyfrog;149585 wrote: Hi uda,

          Good points but I think you'll find that about 90% of the people here are mums/moms and another small percentage are dads/dads and an absolute minority are childless/barren/selfish or whatever societal values are place on the non-procreators.

          You are leaving out those who couldn't have children for one reason or another, or who might be same-sex attracted, in which case, society makes it impossible           to have children or establish any sort of solid foundation on which to build a relationship and have children (eg. unfair marriage laws - heterosexual people can get married, but gay people... no way). Just drawing your attention to a few points so you can see what it looks like from the other side. Not very attractive...

          I know that i, for one, do not want to have children as a single person :bonkers: .
          One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!

          Comment

            #20
            Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

            ha, it's funny how people do not respond to a post with the word 'gay' in it... lol. Proves my point.
            One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!

            Comment

              #21
              Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

              Change - please don't assume that because no-one has posted on this thread for 3 hrs means that the word "gay" has had anything to do with lack of response. (I think a lot of folk are sleeping right now.)

              Furthermore, we have quite a number of extremely valued and active members who are gay - so homophobia is NOT an issue here.

              You quote my post - but do you have any idea into which category I might fall?

              Proves my point.

              Comment

                #22
                Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

                Eustacia please come help

                Actually Change, I've been trying to figure out how to respond to all of this. I think that part of what is happening here is many of us are fairly new (some very new) and we don't know each other yet, don't know peoples stories, their sense of humor, etc. The trouble with the written word when you don't know this is that you don't hear the tone, see the face, or get a reponse for hours due to time zones, jobs, etc. So much can get misconstrued. This is a wonderful site with lots of support. We all have many things going on in our lives besides our drinking but lets remember that the main reason we are here is to help each other with that. I think that Uda was saying she feels there are messages she gets from society about being a good mom that she ends up feeling guilty about and wants some others moms to talk to about it as sometimes it seems like it contributes to her drinking??? Other people were just trying to let her know that there are lots of moms here, she can post threads on that topic and get lots of support, etc. I really think Tawny was just mostly joking around and trying to say that society has lots of guilt messages for us all???? I don't think she meant to exclude anyone. I may be wrong, but somehow it seems we far afield from where we started.Maybe we can all take a deep breath here?? eace: Eustacia, we need your help. Can you kill this thread for us, or at least give it a good cleaning?

                Comment

                  #23
                  Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

                  Uda, I think that society in general believes that the hand that rocks the cradle shouldn't be lifting a glass.

                  Great input from everyone.

                  I believe grown up children of alcoholics have specific emotional problems, because we were "absent" for them a lot of the time. But grown up children of most families have issues too.

                  Both of my children are grown and are workaholics, but they rescue pets too. I guess that animals are much easier to rescue than their mom was. As my therapist said, everyone has something and it's better for kids to have a crazy aunt in the basement than pollyana. They learn life closer.
                  Enlightened by MWO

                  Comment

                    #24
                    Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

                    Sorry Tawny I did not mean to put words in your mouth. We were posting at the same time so I did not see your message before I wrote mine. Good Morning Tawny! Goodnight SK.

                    Comment

                      #25
                      Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

                      Sorry!

                      Ah, i get your point about time zones etc. I meant no malice in my tone and understood that tawny wasn't bagging anyone... it is just societies attitude that gets me sometimes and i think that tawnies post got me on that one.

                      I agree with Una on that parents in general are put under so much pressure to 'do the right thing' etc.

                      I guess i have some issues, eg., i have to constantly listen to whinging cousins who are unmarried (and only 30 mind you), when there is a certain % of society who can never get married... These are the things that 'we' gay people have to live with. It just makes me seethe when i hear that this is their main issue in life, when people i know have had to endure gay bashings, harrassment etc. and i don't want to turn this into a 'poor me' thread or a 'poor anyone' thread, it's tough and no one will ever understand unless they are put under those circumstances.

                      But, anyway, no malice here... just listening.

                      Btw, i don't think we should delete this thread, we may all learn something :thumbsup

                      Tawny, you are right. I have no category you fall into . Guess i am so used to homophobia that i feel a mixture of wanting to educate people while at the same time, cry because i know how hard life has been at times. But :thumbs:, i have my head up high and i am going to try my best

                      I guess this is the other thing too, you give up drinking and all these issues come flooding in.
                      One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!

                      Comment

                        #26
                        Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

                        OK Change ... now I don't know if you'll understand the significance of this but .... ok .... squeezes eyes, selects bloody smilie and ...

                        ... g-d help me - I've got to do it now...


                        alright.... there you go.

                        :l:l:l:l

                        Phew! Wasn't that hard at all, now I come to think of it. (Again - not homophobic, just smilie/huggy/kissyphobic)

                        Btw Una - Great thread! All mums rock! (Mine jitterbugged)

                        Comment

                          #27
                          Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

                          Frog, you crack me up.
                          What St. Frances of Assisi said of himself is true for me.
                          ?If God can work through me He can work through anybody.?

                          Comment

                            #28
                            Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

                            tawnyfrog;149986 wrote: All mums rock!
                            So do gay people :happy:
                            One day at a time.. Sometimes it's one minute or one second at a time.. Most important thing is to look ahead and don't look back!

                            Comment

                              #29
                              Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

                              Change - you're right. Just some of them dance better than others .....

                              Comment

                                #30
                                Mother's little helper-mother's ruin?

                                Change you fall into the same category as we do i.e. human being with a drink problem.
                                That as far as I can tell ( unless your a secret serial killer) is the only problem you have.
                                Any probs. regarding sexuality belong to other people who perceive them, and there is
                                nobody on this site that I have met with that perception.
                                Best wishes Paula.
                                .

                                Comment

                                Previous 1 2 3 template Next
                                Working...
                                X