New here and starting Topa and with a question

[DizzyBee]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all

On the ipad, which is another reason I've been posting less, I miss the keyboard. I still have my laptop though so no excuses.

I don't know where to start, I still miss Space around here though. I drank too much in South Africa, which led to my mum trying to bible bash me into sobriety. I did do two weeks sober there with the help of AB. Then I had a couple of drinks on the plane and contracted flu (without realising it at the time) so by the next day I went to the doctors I was drunk and had to tell her I drink too much, it was sooo embarrassing.

We had Easter and hubby's birthday so today is my first day sober again. I'm going to join the gym later this week and am on the waiting list for a CBT therapist. I want to start work in July after my hubby's holiday.

Meggie, I found rehab really hard as mine was really strict and communal. I'm an introvert and set in my own ways so it felt like school. I also felt humiliated to be there. I prefer Antabuse and counselling, although you should do that AND go on a week long holiday without your husband... Before rehab I just wanted a holiday from my life, and it was, albeit a tough one.

I'm so proud of you Sun for doing so well!

Fingers crossed for the exams, Gum.

I second Sun, Houtx, it has been too long without a proper update of your adventures.

:l:l:l

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Haha, Sunny - you did hit the nail on the head that I've promised to return and haven't. I do check in and read the posts, just haven't had much to add. I appreciate and enjoy everyone's posts: Diz, good to hear from you again & hard to believe it's been nearly a year you've been married! Hope you're feeling 100% soon!

As always, Stuck, your thoughts on the comings & goings of all of us, getting ready for the new road ahead w/ "the girl" are always fun to read. Then "maybe I'll cry" keeps it real, too. You're great & I love your posts. Meggie, Gum, the new people chiming in...love the stories and comments. It gets quiet here, but then it gets busy. It will go on as needed & stoked.

It's getting near the end of our school year, thank GAWD!! It's been another rough one. I really hate these kids. They are soooooooooo rude.
It's our state testing today and tomorrow, and I was asking for cell phones to be locked up. I asked a boy to give me his cell phone & he raised his voice and argued with me LOUDLY "What does my phone have to do with the test? Why do I have to give it to you? Oh My GoD!!!!" On&on&On&On until he finally said he didn't even have his goddamned phone. He was ranting on about it so much I told him to sit down and shut up! That set him off again "No one can tell me to shut-up! Only my Mama can tell me to shut-up! I'm going to have you fired!" etctetctetctetc I almost lost it - put him out in the hallway for about 30 minutes while we got ready. Little asshole. I have to have every student sign a form saying they turned their phone over to me, it's off and in their locker or they did not bring one to school. I had words with him over the legal issue, at school I AM his Mama only worse and he owed me an apology. It was so stupid he escalated something so benign into a big scene.

I wish I hadn't even brought up this story. Makes me mad all over again. I can't wait to quit teaching. I hate most of these little assholes who have idiot parents who "don't know what to do" with them. A big nasty bar of soap in their mouth and perhaps a few good pops with a belt might work. Anyway -

Otherwise, I am doing pretty well. I have not done the AB in awhile, but I have switched to light vodka/tonics weeknights and most weekends. Wine is maybe a once a week splurge. I am not as foggy the next day at all. Plus fewer calories is helping. So far so good. I mentioned I met a man a few weeks ago. He kind of disappeared from the radar screen until I texted a "Hey wussup?" kind of thing. Turns out he's been out of town most weeks and playing odd hours of golf on the weekend. Another week went by, and I sent him a "Guess you're only interested me as a friend & that's ok, let's play golf one of these days" text, and we started texting again. Spur of the moment he & his buddy met me & my gf for golf Easter Sunday. We had great time & he expressed interest again in pursuing this. A little kissie, huggie stuff in the parking lot afterwards was fun too! He's one of the rare men I've been even remotely interested in in forever, so we shall see.

He & his buddy drink a shitload of beer on the course, while we chicas were sipping some vodka drinks. He's just a lot of fun, in the oil business but has a musician past. Very interesting and cool. I think I just have to let it unfold & be cool about it. That' easy! lol If all goes well, I look forward to having a fun, sex partner again!! - if I can get over my self-consciousness about my 10 lb weight gain the last few years!! UGH - we should all get over it and just be comfortable in our own skin. I'm trying - but in the meantime, I'm stepping up the workouts and going lightly down the vodka trail!!

I know I missed mentioning so many posts - that's a tricky one for me. But Sunny - your going AL & cig free is awesome & I am sooooooo proud and happy for you!! Whatever works, works. Gardening and baking sound lovely - nice weather is finally here! I'm pushing the post button now, keeping my fingers crossed this latest post will fly! Cheers everyone

[StuckinLA]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

houtx;1652359 wrote: I look forward to having a fun, sex partner again!! - if I can get over my self-consciousness about my 10 lb weight gain the last few years!!

NEVER underestimate what an extra 10lbs in the right places can do, darlin'.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

StuckinLA;1652387 wrote: NEVER underestimate what an extra 10lbs in the right places can do, darlin'.

ROTFLMBO Stuck ......... Hugs XX

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Crap, I hate it when I post and it gets lost. Nice to see everyone back. Houtx, I don't get finished until June 27th. This testing is killing me and the kids. I will have 30 years next year. Teaching has really changed over the years.I also am relating to the weight gain. I hate getting dressed because nothing feels comfortable. Bedtime, will be back tomorrow.

[bkyogagurl]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thought I would stop in... The threads are super quiet. I guess it ebbs and flows.

Wanted to say hi Sun.. It's been a long time. Thanks for being such a good friend thru these years I really appreciate.

Hope everyone here is still fighting the good fight.:l

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Stuck - OMG, you just KILL me!! Big laugh at your comment & appreciate the confidence booster of where & what that 10 lbs might enhance! HA! Boobs & hips for sure. Gotta tuck them into my elastic waistband these days! Thank GAWD for Spanx! LOL I'm over it. Y'all are great, helping to keep it real!

Meggie - I know a lot of school go way into the summer. Where are you? East or west coast - I forget. My cousin is in LA and they just had their spring break & don't get out til mid to late June. But then they don't start til after Labor Day. Let's just try to go day to day.

If I got one thing from AA, it's to try and live 1 day at a time. I truly try and not beat myself up about these things I only have shaky control over, like my weight. I'm 60 and think I look pretty damn good, all things considered. I've met this man who wets my whistle and I'll be damned if I'll let a few "jiggly bits" get in the way of some fun finally!!

BkYogagurl - good to hear from you & hope alls well. Same to the rest of you good people. Golf again this weekend w/ the new guy - happy!

XO

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Leave it to Stuck to keep us old girls feeling good.
I am in the north east and we start the day after labor and go to the end of June. Oh, well, 42 school days to go and then one year.
Everyone enjoy there day. 65 here with rain.

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Wow, it really is quiet here. Beautiful weekend, I love it when I get a lot accomplished. Hubby was out of the house for the portion of the day yesterday. I cleaned drawers and cupboards.
I can't wait to start to garden, however, I am new at it. Sun what do you have in your garden? I have lots of flowers on the side of the fence and started a food/herb garden last year. I only wish it would warm up.
Well, looking at upping my health insurance before I retire, I need to go through all sorts of testing. I am relatively healthy except for the drinking. Anyone ever gone through this, my doctors all know about my drinking and my struggle.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

bkyogagurl;1653191 wrote: Thought I would stop in... The threads are super quiet. I guess it ebbs and flows.

Wanted to say hi Sun.. It's been a long time. Thanks for being such a good friend thru these years I really appreciate.

Hope everyone here is still fighting the good fight.:l

Hi there BK - good to see you here !! I see you around the boards now and then - hope all is going well with you ?

Yes, it is quiet here - it happens sometimes and we are a really small group these days anyway.

Meggie - I have lots of veggies, herbs and flowers in my garden and love it. This year though I have not been able to plant in a few areas as 'they' have been doing a lot of sewer work and have gone right through a couple of my garden areas !! I thought once they pout the dirt back in the trench I could plant but I honestly think it is going to be next year for two of my garden areas :-( I did move any plants that I could before they dug so saved quite a few ....

What sort of thing do you mean by upping your health insurance ? And having to go through testing ? No, I have never had to do that and yes, my GP knew about my drinking - but not my oncologist. Good luck with it .....

Hi Houtx. Glad that you have met a chap that you like - and he plays golf? Even better and as Stuck says - do not worry about that 10lbs - after all, in my head, he liked you with it anyway - so why worry ??

SO sorry about your kids in that class - I just could NOT teach - I think it is such a hard job - the kids these days have no respect at all and I just cannot imagine being in a classroom with a whole lot of them!! You and Meggie have my utmost admiration - I have said it before and will say it again.

Thanks for the kudos re the AL and cigs - I did have a day last week when I got some Guinness - I was SO upset about my garden and the guys digging the 5' deep trench through it - just got really stressed out and although I shouldn't have, did get some AL. But stopped again - it was a silly thing to do and didn't make me feel any better at all ... LOL It is over 6 weeks since I had a cig and would have been over a month AF - except for that day !! But I can live with it and am back on the wagon just fine !

Hope everyone has a good week - hugs to you,

Sun XX

[gumtree]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

hi all,

Hope everyone is doing ok. Have been enjoying getting caught up on posts this morning.
Dizzy, Houtx, so good to hear from you two again!

Well, I feel like the month of April pretty much put me through the grinder. I did a very poor job of handling stress. just drank more instead of going to the gym or sticking to my antabuse plan. Has put me in a bit of a funk tbh.

Here I am first of the month with a new plan. I think I should go a month AF before trying moderating again. So taking an AB tonight. Will take one every few days and stay on the wagon. I expect to be a right cranky puss!!! But needs to be done, and I have plans for my yoga, house/yard cleane up so on.

The last time I managed a whole month AF and eating disorder free was December 2012. back to the basics I go. ...journalling and all that crap that works as much as I hate it lol!!

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Good for you. Do you go through withdrawal with the Ab. I afraid to try it. My counselor says such awful things about it. I haven't been to the gym in 6 weeks from today. I am feeling so fat. My house is clean and most the spring cleaning is done.
I haven't been al free since August of 2011.
Sun, to raise my life insurance I have to have bloodwork, and other tests to be able to raise it. I am very healthy if I didn't drink. I worry that they will not allow me to have it because of my drinking.
WE will see. Things are very quiet around here. Sorta like my energy level.

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all-
Gumtree, hang in there and good for you on going AF!! Meggie, by the time I've gotten logged on & all, I've practically forgotten what we've said before, but hope alls well!

I am doing ok, as usual. Have been having vodka tonics instead of wine most nights. Works very well so far as the next day! However, this is now the weekend, and i drank a huge amount of wine last night...moderating tonight, thank God. Have a Dr appt next week for high blood pressure BS. It's completely AL-related, of course, but I do not plan on confessing anything.

I am living a very happy life, but I worry and question what the next part of my life will be...

[meggie]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Houtx, so happy to hear you are happy. Let me guess, you are out of school. I still have 40 some teaching days to go. Are you still seeing the new guy. Oh, to love, sex and being on vacation.
I read somewhere that gin and vodka don't give you hangovers. I don't have many, and I drink gin.
My doc's know I drink, I don't think they know how much but they do know I think I have a problem. Looking for life insurance and I might not get it. I am basically very healthy but am afraid that I won't get it because of my drinking.
My friend who is in the hospital for drinking may never get out. She may need to spend the rest of her life in a hospital.
What are you worrying about.???

[houtx]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Meggie - no, not out of school but weekends find me so much happier than M-Th. We've got 4 weeks to go then hopefully I'll get hired on for summer school. It's an extra $3,000 net, and I can really use the money. The downside is, it's the kids who failed and did 0 all year long...

The new guy & I text off & on most days, but it's still kinda weird how to approach it all. We got together Wednesday for an afternoon of golf, light dinner at a fun bar and then playing music (he plays guitar & sings, so do I) at his place & kissing - I didn't want to shower, have sex and then get back into my dirty clothes, so we just had kissing fun. Texts the next few days into this weekend, but we didn't get together. I'm thinking he's the independent type, just like me. He has friends & entertains himself well, so goes on with the weekend as usual. I also think he doesn't make a lot of money and can't afford a whole lot of the picking up the tab expectations of dating. Maybe I should ask him out more, I don't know. I don't want to bug him, but I also would like to see him & do stuff together. Yesterday he texted "Wussup" - told him I was bored and about to go play some twilight golf & did he want to join me. He said he was playing tennis in an hour. I was thinking 'then why the hell are you asking me wussup' ya know?? I dunno - not going to worry about it. Just going to let it unfold

And finishing the last of the weekend's wine. My sister & her bf got married unexpectedly on Friday then another man I used to date posted his wedding photos. Shit. I was about to be sad and then thought "Oh hell! I'm not going to let other people's happiness make me sad for heaven's sakes!!" And that's where I am. Good times

Love you all!