New here and starting Topa and with a question

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

And yes, I forgot to mention, that I have the titration schedule from the book but I also think it's the same one that my doctor gave me.

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I agree with you that I think your OB/GYN was off base in telling you to share this stuff with your 12 year old. Way to young!!!

My 10 yr old son is just starting to get adult topics and one of them is what "drunk" is. No way do I want to speed him through that knowledge! One of the reasons I decided I had crossed the line and needed to do something about my drinking was when I had gone overboard in the presence of the kids (they thought mommy was 'sick') and then to add to it I realized I had no personal relationships outside of the home. The kids were begging me to have play dates with friends from their school and stuff and I realized that even though I was highly successful to any causal observer i was so socially isolated, I didn't know any of the other parents from their school, we have no neighbors with kids their age...

Anyway, happy to say we're getting better at all of that stuff now and also now that my kids are learning about 'adult stuff' I'm not the poster child for alcoholism so hopefully they've forgotten about those 2 or 3 times mommy was sick and couldn't walk, etc.

God just saying that makes me realize I'm so proud of myself that I haven't been in a state like that in at least 2 1/2 years I think!!! :goodjob:

Well, gonna finish the show I was watching and go to bed. I swore to hubs I wouldn't stay up ridiculously late.

Love to all and special valentine hearts!!! :h:h:h:h:h

Illuminae

[Dreams2thrive]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

I think doctors have this power trip or something. I think they think they know all, when clearly they don't. They might know all there is to know about the flu, or delivering a baby or pap smears, but they don't know about addiction and family therapy.

So, I have a very very big problem in my house. I rent a room to my good friend. We were best friends as teenagers. She was an adopted child, abused by her adopted parents. She got into a meth addiction, lost custody of her son when he was 9 months old, and cleaned up. She fought hard to get her son back 5 years ago. She tells me she slammed, injecting herself in her body everywhere, including her breasts if necessary. She was very open during her recovery.

Over the past 6-9 months I noticed some strange behavior. First, I found a hypodermic need in the bathtub. She gives her dog a shot of medicine regularly, and she blamed it on the dog. but in the back of my mind, I was suspicious. Then, I was out of town for the weekend, and the when I get home I get in the shower in MY BATHROOM (the master bath connected to MY room - she doesn't use this bathroom) and look up on the cabinet over my toilet and I see a big black wad of something. It's a pair of tights, hidden in the corner of the shelf, but I can see it from the angle being in the shower.

Yesterday I came home and UPS delivered a package. On the outside it says "medical supply, LLC. When I came home from work the package was not there anymore. I went in her room and it was there, hidden, but sealed. She was out with her DOG at the time.
This morning when she left for work, I went in her room and the box was opened. THREE needles were used.

I confronted her and she denied it. She was so dumb! So dumb, I have snagged her and she still continues to lie like she is on some other planet.
CRAZY CRAZY. She is wacked. She is moving out, totally denying her addiction. When I asked her about what I found, she said "I don't know - I'm done talking to you". I mean how dumb and obvious can you be?
I want to help her so much. I love her and just want to help. But she isn't willing I guess. So very very sad.

[Dreams2thrive]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Oh, I also need to add that the fact that she was out with her dog and the box was still sealed, means a lot. Because her dog is half Pitt Bull, and he bit my son in November, so I made the dog move out. So she was out visiting her dog, didn't take a needle with her, and when she came home there should have been no reason for her to open the box. And not to use 3 needles.

When I confronted her she totally denied the obvious. A clear addiction.
So very sad.

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

D2T,

Unfortunately addiction is addiction. I had a really freaky interaction with it about a year and a half ago with a guy that works for me.I might not even recognized it as soon as I did if I hadn't gone to rehab.

But I'll tell you - this guy was the least likely person I would have EVER thought would be on drugs - it was Meth by the way - so I think it really took me a while to come to the conclusion just because it was so hard to believe. A really straight laced person, very by the book at work, etc. But he's gay and just recently before this fully "out" since he retired from the Navy (where gayness and drugs are both forbidden).

he started being late for work and nodding off and making all of these weird excuses, blanking out... very uncharacteristic stuff. Since I had been in rehab and happened to become super good friends with a gay guy who was there for meth addiction I learned that it's a big thing in the gay community here so that helped me figure out what was going on with this guy much sooner.

It all came to a head when he was just falling asleep so bad in a meeting that he literally bounced his head off of the table. I sent him home, called the boss from his company and rehab for him began. Luckily he got the wake up call and has been straight ever since. It took the very real threat of him losing a very good job though. that's much different than getting called on it by friend like in your case Dreams.

I feel sorry for your friend and I know it's hard. There's not much you can do when someone is in that zone and doesn't want to be helped.

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Our thread was getting low here so I thought I'd better post something.

As I have mentioned in previous threads my work has been going super awesome. I mean just everything I've been working towards is coming to fruition. It has been so great. And then ----- there was this big glitch in the contract with the company that does a lot of the work in support of me and they are facing a stop work situation! So we have been furiously trying to work all these financial/contract options to keep my team working on all this important and cool stuff. Sooo frustrating!

The good thing is these are just really fantastic and understanding people and I just know it will all work out eventually but it is just the absolute worst time for something like this to happen.

On to positive stuff, I'm going to a swanky black tie event this Saturday put on my the local chapter of my US Naval Academy Alumni Association and I'm so looking forward to it. The funny part is I'm not even going with my husband. He'll be out of town on another motorcycle trip so I have invited my intern from work - this cute 22 year old kid that has been working for me for about 4 months and part of while he's working for me we've also been teaching him about the Navy so thought he was a good choice to be my +1 to see what a formal Navy social event looks like, especially since the guest speaker is the Superintendent of the Naval Academy. My good friend/deputy and her husband are also going to come. Just excited about getting dressed up and going to a dinner dance, etc. My husband probably wouldn't be that into it anyway and at least he's not the jealous type or anything.

the event is at a Sheraton on the harbor here in San Diego - so gorgeous! And don't worry, I've decided to get a room so there will be no chance of drinking and driving.

Okay I've done my duty and got this thread moved up the ladder. Who's next???

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi there - I am getting ready for work. Illum - the event sounds wonderful - I remember going to events when Hubs was still in the military! Hope you enjoy it! We will look forward to hearing about it.

Dreams - bummer about your friend - I cannot imagine how you must feel - taken advantage of/betrayed etc. However, there isn't a lot you can do - you know how addiction goes. Your poor friend too. She must feel awful - I am sure she is as upset with herself deep down, as you are. As you said, very sad. On a different note, how are you doing? how goes the AL?

DYD - how are you doing on the upped dose of Topa? How are you feeling? Do let us know... And I cannot believe that your Gyn would tell you to tell a 12 year old about your drinking - WAY TOO YOUNG - docs just don't get it sometimes. It makes me laugh when they tell you about nutrition - my cholesterol was high and a different one to my regular one asked me what I eat a lot of - I eat a lot of nuts - and he said that they are full of fat and that i shouldn't eat them - the reason my total chol is so high is 'cos my GOOD chol is off the charts! Talked with my own doc and he said that my chol is fine and the nuts are fine. It is animal fat that is not good - which I knew but wasn't going to say anything to the other doc. They don't know everything!

Well, I have to get ready for work - talk later everyone - hope you all have a great day today - our temps are going to be near 70 - ye gads!! I went out for a ride on my motorcycle yesterday for the first time this year - it even started first time - cool eh??

Hugs, sun XX

[doyourdream]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Feeling fine

Now that my dosage is up on the Topa I'm feeling fine. Funny that I'm not as sleepy even though I'm up to a total of 150 mg per day. Isn't that strange how that works?

But I got home from my son's piano lesson this evening and his teacher called and asked if I had left a check. Oops! I have never forgotten to leave a check for him in 5 years! Now granted the last two weeks I've had him ride his bike and had him take a check but can you believe I'd sat there and not thought to write a check?! I was feeling sleepy sitting there but that's always been the case whenever you give me a half hour to just sit and not have to do anything.

I chalk it up to a very busy day yesterday and today and just not thinking about things.

Looking forward to a long weekend. Wishing I had a fancy schmancy party to go go. Can I come to your party, Dreams?

Seeing that I got my appt. mixed up this week, I'm going to see my doctor next week.

And while we're dissing doctors, she's the new psychiatrist I found to give me the Topamax. I'm single and not by choice. I've looked, believe me. High and low. She asked me, "so, why do you think you're single?" and those kind of questions as if I have some kind of character defect. I have no idea. Maybe it's just because I haven't met the right person. Maybe?

I have a good friend that's a single psychologist that has also been looking. She's also a very nice single woman. I have no idea why we're single. I don't think we're awful defective people but that's the impression I got from this doctor. Sigh.

So that's my two cents and maybe it's enough to get our post moved up onto page one of the posts! :H

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

DYD that is so funny about falling asleep at the piano lesson. My daughter takes piano lessons and I totally fall asleep on the couch at her lesson all the time!!! It's exactly as you say. A half hour with nothing to do (I bring a book) but it's at 5:30 pm on Wednesday and I'm usually maxed out by them and so it's just complete down time. Kind of embarrassing but actually refreshing at the same time.

And I'm the one going the schmancy party!! Can't wait to go and tell you all about it. I had a fun conversation with hubs about it tonight over dinner. He's going on his motorcycle trip this weekend with a friend from work that has a pretty psycho wife. She's sort of making him "pay" in advance for being gone all weekend so making him run all these errands, buy stuff for their kids and stuff. Apparently he and my husband had lunch today and were discussing these things and my husband remarked on how messed up this guy's wife is (and she is - it gets WAY deeper than what I have put here) and then he countered with how our relationship is a little weird too. The case in point being that I'm going to a black tie dinner with a person that my husband has never met and he's not the slightest bit jealous. My hubs chuckled at that and went on to say he didn't even go on to mention my crazy half assed home improvement projects!

So like you have gathered Sun, overall I think we have a good marriage tho it has some ups and downs and most of those downs are attributable to the booze.

And hey staying on you - how cool that you had the warm weather and got out on your motorcycle!!! I've actually got the bug pretty hard now myself. The whole family is geared up and hubs and I are going on a riding/camping trip again next weekend and then I think we're doing a family one in March. We're also planning a road ride on the Goldwing up the California coast to Monterrey in April to see the sights and stay with a friend of mine and maybe even go all the way up to my hometown and see my parents.

Meanwhile had another ROCKING day at work. Literally I got recognition from an Admiral for the work I am doing and my boss jokingly said that if they ever put a navy star of fame on the sidewalk my name would be there. :goodjob:

Oh and I also just got within one pound of my target weight and wore a shirt today that I haven't in 3 years because it had been too tight. I have been keeping up with the Pilates and honestly ladies I haven't been doing anything crazy as far as dieting - just portion control and over a long period of time changing eating habits.

I'm getting a little scared that things are going too good for me. Seriously. My best friend in the world felt like this once many years ago. she and her husband had been struggling financially, then they both got their dream jobs, her a mechanical engineer at Disneyland, him a DEA agent (he really wanted to be FBI but close enough). They wanted a family so badly - they had tried for YEARS to get pregnant the first time with much difficulty, and finally by this time (when they had their dream jobs) had two kids - a girl 3 yrs old and a boy 18 months old - and then her husband died in a car crash.

I've been so super excited lately about how well my work is going and then I get a little freaked out thinking like - will some awful cursed thing happen to me like it did to Laurie when she was on top of the world? Or am I exempt from that because I already had a practical fiancee die on me already and go through that experience?

or am I just overthinking everything???

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Thanks for this thread!

Hello all,

Hope it's okay to step into your coffee clutch here, but I wanted to revisit the Topa and needed to find some support. I have no idea where my MWO book is and am wondering three things, could you give me your thoughts?

Does Topa have any impact on blood pressure? I got some from my BP doc so I don't think so, but I had BP problems with baclofen and want to know if any personal experiences exist for extreme hypertensives?

Also, what is the titration schedule? I know that book is somewhere around here ...

Thanks in advance for any feedback.

Girl - so sorry about your accident, hope you get an awesome new truck.
Illuminae - you get what you deserve, you've obviously been working hard at your life and your addiction. Kudos for your great Karma.
Dreams - kick that doctor right outta your life. I found one who was open to Topa. I confessed my drinking to him and he didn't know anything about topa helping but felt it was such a safe drug, why not?

Cheers.

[Bruunhilde]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

By the way, I apparently posted on this thread a while back (https://www.mywayout.org/community/f2...-19-44427.html) and could never find my way back to the thread. Duh.

So thanks Hoping, Houtx, 2run for the advice re the hair. I've used all those supplements. Rogaine did nothing. I will have to restart the spirolactone and zinc, because those might help but biotin just made my hair grow faster, it never filled in, just my roots needing doing more often. I should also have said I have baby fine hair and have been fighting the falling hair since I was 30, I'm now 48. It just got so much worse with Topa, and stayed that way when I went off Topa and onto Bac.

Ugh. My cocktail of three hypertensive meds have the equivalent of placebo effect % hair loss, which if course means they're part of the problem (although I've changed them out many times over the last twenty some years).

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Welcome Bruunhilde! All topa-takers are welcome here!!

I don't think it messes with blood pressure. Just circulation. I think that's what causes the tingling, and for me also really cold hands.

I think I posted the schedule here a while back. Let me check.

Illuminae

[Illuminae]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Yes I found it! the schedule was posted by me as an attachment on page 71 of this thread. Good luck Brun!!

[bleep]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Just a quick heads-up - the page number will depend on the number of posts you have set to display. For example, my browser shows this entire thread to be 23 pages long...

An easier way to do it is to right click on the "permalink" button in the top right of every post, and copy the link address, then post that address in your post. Anyone clicking it will be taken to that particular post.

[sunshinedaisies]

New here and starting Topa and with a question

Hi all - gosh, happenings in our 'coffeeclutch" LOL Bruunhilde !!! It is lovely to have someone else here!! I find it easier to say what page it is on - go you Illum for finding the page! #701 !! I was wondering about that the other day when someone else was wondering about the titration schedule - I knew it was on here somewhere but had no idea where - now we know!! As far as BP and Topa - I am trying to think if it was Topa or Bac that someone took and was having a problem with BP with - dang memory!

Illum - go you for being within 1 lb of your target weight - it is really good to get into a blouse that you haven't been able to get into for years !! And that really must have felt so good to get recognition from an admiral no less - my gosh we will have to ask permission to speak to you soon!! You sound so good, it is really really good to hear - and don't jinx it by saying 'what if' - things are going good because they are and that doesn't mean they will change for the worse!! I am really pleased for you my friend. Life is good! Your motorcycle trips sound awesome. Our weather will be getting cold again so the Bean machine will be tucked away again soon. It was kind of neat to get her out in February though.

Well, DYD - re the cheque and forgetting it - things happen -it is easy to attribute it to Topa - but we do get older and we do forget things anyway! Re your psych and asking why you think you are single - the gall of the woman!!!!! Because you are VERY picky!!!! What a nerve. it is better to be picky and not be divorced 5 years down the road.... I cannot believe she would ask you that - my gosh! I met and married hubs #1 when i was 18 (in 1972) and knew EVERYTHING. It only lasted a year. Then I met Hubs New years Eve 1981 and we married march 1982 - 10 weeks after we met - we were both on the rebound and are so lucky it has worked out - I had no worries about being single - I was quite happy and to have had someone ask me why I was still single would have incensed me! Did you slap her???? I have a few friends who are single and quite happy - my sister is 51 and single. Never met the right guy. Stupid Psych. Sorry - just makes me angry.

Anyway - I digress - how are things going? sounds good to me. The Topa sounds as if it is going well for you re side effects which is great!

Girl - how goes it for you? Check in with us please??

Dreams - how are you doing??? Where are you?? let us know - we miss when everyone isn't here...

Hugs and love to all,

Sun XXX