Newbies Nest! for bac

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Newbies Nest! for bac

You may find (even at 30mg!) that if you put your thoughts in the right place it will be fairly effortless to not overdrink. Sometimes overthinking might be a good idea!

Use the other tools...You know the ones! Eat a lot before you go. Make sure you're not dehydrated. Take a nap so you're rested. (Not such a good idea at work, but whatev. Tell anyone who asks you HAVE to. That should work.) Avoid getting pissed off (and then pissed) when you don't hit the ball into the endzone. Or have to chase the gopher to get it back. And when you get a home run, celebrate with gatorade! Those things should help!



Avoid alligator filled ponds, too. Just in general.

[Ne/Neva Eva]

Newbies Nest! for bac

TexasAg;1354144 wrote: Am I just a rookie or does everyone have a hard time splitting their pills??? I bought a pill splitter

You're a rookie.

So...My husband, after seeing me trying to do just that, suggested a razor blade and a cutting board. Please don't make assumptions about how it is that he would know to offer this as a solution. Your assumptions would be absolutely correct, however.

I had a tiny cutting board and a craft razor in my bathroom drawer for a very long time! I can only imagine what people would've thought... I was so used to hiding things when people came over (the recycling, for instance and the cases of very cheap wine) that it wasn't a problem. :H and :upset:

Now I can pretty much split any pill, no matter the size, with my fingers! I do not use to this newfound skill to impress people at parties. (Unlike the fact that I can open a bottle of beer or a bottle of wine with many handy and completely unrelated objects! That IS impressive at the right kind of party.)
But the pill splitting thing does come in handy, since my pooch is on various and sundry meds at times.

[StuckinLA]

Newbies Nest! for bac

NE: Good lord, woman, how I love your mixed-sports metaphors

Ag: Don't know your planned schedule (or your goal, for that matter, man I should read around a bit more, sorry). But yeah, quarters can be a motherf--k sometimes, so I'd say plan your schedule so it's all in 10s. & if you're at 30 that's just 10x3, right?

I do 4x a day, so when I want to move by 10 I just add 1/2 a pill to my evening dose. To go up 10 again I add 1/2 a pill to my afternoon dose, etc, so my morning is the last one to match the others. That's just me... but it keeps me from trying to add those pesky little 1/4 pills evenly throughout the day. (If you want more details or specific #s I'm happy to give. Tried it in the post, actually, but it looked all weird so I stopped trying.)

[TexasAg]

Newbies Nest! for bac

Sat:
Congrats on your senior status. I hope you don't get senioritis...

I've been good on Bac, I've had only one binge in the last 10 days, which is good. I had been on 4-5day binges before Bac but had lasted up to 29 days AF before. (I could never make that 30 day coin)
The only time I felt tired was when I titrated up to 30mg from 10mg. It was Saturday afternoon but it could have also been the result of a quick and hard business trip. (That doesn't sound right!) By Sunday morning I was fine and today Tuesday have no effects. I think I'm going to take Ne's suggestion and take an additional 10 mg today before going to play golf to try to prevent the Binge beast.

Ne:
Hahaha, then I’m going to have to use all kinds of tools if I’m not going to get mad cuz I’m always hitting my homeruns in the water!

And I won’t make assumptions on your razor and cutting board and I’m NOT getting euphoric flashbacks!

Stuck: I was thinking of going up to 60mg (not the 50mg I’m supposed to) on this next titration just so I could take 3 - 20mg pills and not have to worry about pill splitting. I’m lazy like that. I’m supposed to go up 20mg per week so I figured I can just add a pill divided evenly throughout the day. Any thoughts/suggestions?

Cheers!

Day 10 on Bac - 30mg
AF - 7/19/12
BBF (binge beast free) – 7/16/12

[StuckinLA]

Newbies Nest! for bac

Meh. Ag, I don't know if that's too big a jump or not, but I'm not really an expert and I certainly don't remember what I was doing in the lower doses. This was back in March, and I was stone sober (the irony).

I just marched up by I think 10 or 15 every I think 5 days. I was doing 3 doses a day back then, and I have 25 mg pills. I just added a quarter pill (7.5ish) evenly throughout the day. Eh, I think I probably f-ed it all up, but I was f-ing a lot of stuff up back then and everyone gave me a pass 'cause I wasn't drinking at all...

But 20 mg/week is cool, but if you do +10 every 3 days it's the same thing. I'm trying to think what that would look like. Or even if 4 doses a day would work better (for pill splitting, maybe not for your schedule).

[TexasAg]

Newbies Nest! for bac

Good morning,

I just wanted to give you all an update. I’m on day 19 of bac and I’m up to 60mg. I’m taking a 20mg pill at 7am, 1pm, 5pm. I haven’t had much side effects except when I go up in dosage which is on Saturday and then it’s just sleepiness but it’s gone by Sunday morning. I had only one binge since I started baclofen until last night.

I know the baclofen is working because I’ve had a terrible week but my anxiety/stress has not been overwhelming. My complications at home took a turn for the worse last Wednesday when my wife asked me to move out. This was not a result of any recent bingeing, but rather many years of self-medicating and bad decisions by both of us. Her decision was very hard on me especially when she decided to tell the kids that I was leaving. This sucks because I just know that I’m getting better, it’s only a matter of time but she doesn’t believe about baclofen. I feel like after my friend died a couple of weeks ago from alcoholism, this doesn’t need to happen. I thought God had steered me to MWO and baclofen thread so that I could get better and heal my marriage. But now I’m thinking he steered me to baclofen so I could handle what was about to happen.

Normally any of this would have sent me for a bottle of whiskey but like I said, it’s been amazing that I haven’t. Last night, however, I reacted badly to her going out drinking with her friends. I didn’t drink enough to black out but had enough to be considered a binge. I’m upset with myself because I was really feeling good about being AF and Binge free. And also because it proves everything she’s been thinking.

Sorry for the whining. Just had vent.
Here’s to peace and success.

Day 19 on Bac - 60mg
AF - 8/2/12
BBF (binge beast free) – 8/2/12

[StuckinLA]

Newbies Nest! for bac

It's not whining. Everything about that blows. But you're committed, and that's incredible to see, really. You're doing great at 60mg, so don't kick yourself too much for a night of drinking. You're going for indifference, yes? It will work. Might take some time, but it will work. This is just a hiccup.

We're taking very different approaches--you're AF for the most part, and certainly steering clear of heavy drinking nights. I'm really embracing booze lately, because I want to, really, and because I'm waking up earlier in the morning than I have in years and without hangovers. Either way, it's going to work.

But man, I'm so sorry about everything that's going on.

[TexasAg]

Newbies Nest! for bac

Thanks Stuck, I truly appreciate it.

I am trying to get to indifference and I do believe this is going to work. Just wish it would happen sooner rather than later. Funny thing, I don't have a hangover today even though I drank heavy last night. What's your goal?

Day 19 on Bac - 60mg
AF - 8/2/12
BBF (binge beast free) – 8/2/12

[StuckinLA]

Newbies Nest! for bac

I'm heading for indifference, and might make it relatively soon-ish (?) It's tough to say. There were some signs a bit ago that I was getting close, but now over the past several days my goal seems to be to drink like a fish.

I understand the impatience. I've been doing this for like 5 months now... not going up 20 mg/week, though. Been stuck at particular doses for a while. But as many people have said, it takes as long as it needs to take--and you have a much better outlook for it to maybe (hopefully) take less time. Best of luck, seriously.

[TexasAg]

Newbies Nest! for bac

What dose are you on? Are you stuck because of the SE's?

That's my biggest fear, as I start getting higher, I wont be able to handle the SE's and get to my goal. Which is pretty stupid because I haven't really had any SE's yet, but that's the cynic in me.

Day 19 on Bac - 60mg
AF - 8/2/12
BBF (binge beast free) – 8/2/12

[StuckinLA]

Newbies Nest! for bac

Sorry Tex, I kinda forgot about this thread for a minute. I'm at 210, as of today, and this is as high as I've been. 5 weeks ago I was here, freaked out, and dropped to 175 for a while. Mostly work and drink related meltdown.

Not sure what my issue is. I had smooth sailing up to 150, but then started drinking, freaked out, and went down into the 130s to basically not be tired in the afternoon and drink all night. I think I lost a month that way... Then started going up again and it's been pretty rough at times.

But 2 weeks ago I literally decided to stop believing in SEs. That's made a pretty big difference, may not work for everyone. So now I'm really tired in the afternoons for a couple days after going up, and looking at the time now it's pretty clear I'm not sleeping very well :H And doesn't matter how long I'm at a dose, I simply cannot stay awake on the bus ride home from work--not the worst thing in the world.

So really it's more like an inability to get my sh-t together, mentally/emotionally. I had a lot of anxiety related to bac, I think my doc actually made that worse, and plus I still really want to drink. I actually still want to drink alcoholically most of the time. In other words I can't figure out what I want--but that has nothing to do with bac SEs or anything. And it has no effect whatsoever on the bac--which is the whole point for me. I'm outsmarting myself.

Last night I went to the bar, intending to have 3 shots and 3 beers (credit card minimum and whatnot). This is normal for me. But after the first shot it took me--I didn't realize until afterwards--almost 2 1/2 hours to drink the first beer. Ended up just paying cash and leaving. This isn't the best way to look at it, but it's kinda like a prison of indifference for now, until I can finally see it as freedom from AL.

Sorry this got long, I guess I had some stuff to work through. Hopefully it helped/allayed some of your worries? Just keep going up. It does work, and I'm really starting to believe it's anxiety about taking pills, and worrying that it might not work, and worrying about the SEs that has a lot to do with the SEs themselves...

[TexasAg]

Newbies Nest! for bac

Stuck, I understand the anxiety you feel with bac. I still want to drink alcoholically too. I was hoping that I could hit my switch at a low level (80mg really wishful thinking!) but I'm still really craving, and not just by habit. I'm very anxious, I feel like so much is riding on this.

I envy Ne. I read her writings and want so much to feel freedom.

I understand about not getting your sh-t together. Don't beat yourself about that, as a matter of fact, I admire you. If it wasn't for my spouse and kids I don't think I'd give a rats a$$ and be drinking non-stop. I'm actually very afraid of the near future because I'll be living alone. I'm afraid I'm going to go no-holds barred crazy with alcohol. Like I said, there's a lot riding on this. The ironic thing is that I started taking Bac to help me with my marriage and now I’ll be AL free (hopefully) but alone.

Do you think there’s a relation of going in reverse on Bac and then trying to go back up and bad SE's? BTW, I liked your prison of indifference comment. I'm like that now sometimes. I've been at get togethers recently and will have one beer and it gets warm on me. That never used to happen. But then I'll be at a happy hour and can't get enough AL. That’s how I know I’m not there yet.

I’m going to keep going. I think you’re right about anxiety about SE’s and it not working causing anxiety. I’m lucky that I don’t have another option right now. Or as AA would say, the gift of desperation. 

I hope your SE’s improve. BTW, what SE’s are you experiencing?

Cheers!

Day 21 on Bac - 80mg
AF - 8/2/12
BBF (binge beast free) – 8/2/12

[StuckinLA]

Newbies Nest! for bac

Oh, Tex, I'm sorry I don't think I came across very well in that email.

I have very few SEs now. I have an extreme sensitivity in the skin of my legs, which is frankly nearly debilitating when I try to get in bed, and I think is an SE because it started the same time I started bac. I have some real difficulty swallowing that comes on late at night and feels like it interferes with breathing--hard to explain but passes. My sleep is a little messed up at night, and I have bouts of not being really with it/falling asleep in the afternoons.

I don't have any anxiety. In fact, this is probably the most anxiety-free I've been in a long time. I drink if I feel like it. "To excess" is hard to pinpoint, because there's so much GABA-action going on in my brain that I don't feel necessarily drunk, but I pass out pretty easily at the end of the night. Still, heavy nights are less than heavy nights used to be, and I have no cravings during the day--even after a heavy drinking night.

I have no doubt this will work.

[TexasAg]

Newbies Nest! for bac

Stuck, sorry also, I didn't want to sound pathetic, but I was writing during one of my anxiety moments.

I can't begin to imagine the leg SE, and hopefully I won’t have to, but again, these are the things I worry about. I think I'm gonna take your attitude and not "believe" in SE's because not going through with this is not an option.

I’m glad you’re heavy drinking is lower. Do you get bad hangovers? I’ve heard NE mention that a Bac hangover is the worst but fortunately I haven’t experienced one and I’ve had a couple very heavy drinking binges since starting.

Here’s to success!

Cheers!
Day 21 on Bac - 80mg
AF - 8/5/12
BBF (binge beast free) – 8/2/12

[StuckinLA]

Newbies Nest! for bac

Man, I'm up early and posting everywhere today. And now another thread to post on

No worries. There's lots of my own anxious, pathetic sounding posts on my thread and elsewhere that I'd love to delete delete delete (Reggie? Is that you? :H). Um, sorry. Anyway, that's not your post at all.

I'm actually hoping the leg thing is an SE. I know kind of third-hand that some people have mentioned leg issues, and this did start right around the time I started bac, but if it isn't an SE then I have real troubles. Compounded by the fact that I doubt my doc will take anything I say seriously since I'm on bac, and she'll take that as the cause of just about anything... probably.

So just remember that OA didn't have the SEs we do. And the people who are going through trials don't have the SEs we do. At first I thought they were lying, or hiding the truth because they want bac to become a first-line option for treatment. But think about it, if there was a doctor in a white coat, with a clipboard and everything, telling you to take this pill, and work your way up on a schedule printed right here on this official looking guideline, and it will cure you of alcoholism, you probably wouldn't have any anxiety about it. Right? That's the most normal thing in the world.

In my case, I went to my doc with some of the research right away. I was in the middle of a bender, and I tried to strike a deal. Let me try this and we'll know in a few months if it works. If it doesn't I'll go to rehab. Of course she looked at me like I was insane. Even responding would have given this whole idea too much credit, from her perspective. Then a few months later, when I was at 150, and she again looked at me like I was not only deranged but actively, and quite possibly, harming myself, well of course I had an all day almost panic attack, dropped down, and drank for a couple weeks. That resulted in the very first post on my thread.

Anyway, going against the entire medical and treatment establishment? On your own? Ordering pills online? Don't know about yours, but mine come in German for chrissakes. I can read just enough German to know they're what I think they are. And taking this stuff for what would be off-label anyway, and in amounts that are staggering--even though completely safe--to the point that any doc around would smack you in the face and tell you to stop? Yep, anxiety. And then coming to a message board--the one place on earth that understands what you're going through, and all this talk about SEs? God knows this board saved me, keeps saving me, and knowing someone out there is going through what I'm going through is so super-helpful I can't express my gratitude. But expecting these SEs now? Self-fulfilling prophecy.

I had no SEs going up to 150, except the sleepiness described in OA's book. I was also stone-cold, white-knuckled sober for going on 2 months.

This is getting way too long already, but do want to quickly mention that the people who take bac on-label don't have the SEs we do, either--haven't done a whole lot of reading there, but there are forums for muscle spasticity out there, and even people on bac pumps don't have the same SEs.

Sorry for the length! Hangovers are not an issue for some reason. Last night I drank the remaining 1/2 bottle of whiskey, felt really sleepy so didn't move on to the rest of the beer like I thought I would, and went to bed. Got up just before 7, and within an hour or so anything resembling a hangover was gone. I may be an anomaly in this regard, but I'm not complaining :H Or I should be complaining, as bad hangovers might deter me from the 1/2 bottle in the first place. Or not :upset:

OK, done rambling. Hope you're having a great day. It works, dude. It just works. I'm drinking mostly because I feel empty and don't know what else to do. Didn't even start until 9 PM last night.