Here we go again

[MeJustMe]

Hey Stuck, we've all been there in some shape or form. It's so hard when you're in the thick of it with AL. All I'll say is, you have the tools to fix it, it's just picking them up and using them that is hard. Keep trying and posting.
My posts, just weeks ago really, we're full of my frustration at my inability to stop drinking. Thanks to Bac, I've had approx 3 weeks AF, 5 weeks if you exclude the 2 nights where I went back to it.
A bit like LIS, Kronk and Stevo, my life is mainly good and busy, so I don't. Have much to post here. Yes, I have my ups and downs but nothing like before.
I will say that the sense of peace I mentioned before has come back from time to time. It has some relationship with exercise. I do mostly none, but last weekend I trimmed a bunch if trees in the yard and it took a day, they were very overgrown. I felt really relaxed after.
I don't think Bac alone is enough for me. I think I need exercise and some form of mindfulness/meditation/relaxation too, but am too damn lazy at the moment to do anything about it.
Anyway, got to go. Hope everyone has a great week!

[Stevo]

I know that many of you regular posters on this thread have already seen this video -and I have watched it at least 10 times. With as many reads as your thread gets Lost, I just hope that maybe some folks who have not yet tried Baclofen are able to watch this:

https://www.hbo.com/addiction/thefil...segment_3.html

It was good to see this again SF,thanks for posting.

Congrats on your AF time too MJM.

[StuckinLA]

Congrats on the AF time! That's really great.

I'm about to try to embark on some AF days myself. After school finished up I got a little down like I usually do in transition times (ends of semesters, ends of long projects, and this was the end of the whole damned degree). It was a bit of a honeymoon with drinking, though, and I wasn't having hangovers or withrdrawal. I wasn't much fun for my girl to be around, but that was the only downside. That's started coming to an end, and I've been going back to drinking all day. So that's going to have to stop.

I don't want to make grand promises to anyone or anything, but it's time to really try to get in some AF time. Last night I was really drunk, and we were out with this friend from out of town, and I started talking with the girl and said I know at this point the only thing keeping her with me is logistics - the problem of finding her own apartment. But neither of us want that, and so I need to put in some work and sober up. The funny thing is that it was otherwise a great night. I got too drunk, of course, but she got a little drunk herself and we ended up at a strip club and the she bought lap dances for her and myself, which we've done once before. And then we had great sex at the end of the night.

So it's not exactly like hitting rock bottom or anything that's making me want to quit for a while - it's just wanting things to be better. And I want to get back into my routine and writing and actually making use of the summer. Because I have the life I've always wanted right now - nearly limitless time to write - and I'm throwing it away if I don't get my act together.

Hope everybody's doing well.

[Lostinspace]

kronk - I did plan AF time this weekend. Actually, being AF is always my goal at this point, and I was doing pretty damn well at it in the week or so before starting my new job. I just backslid a little when I started this past week, due to a combination of overwhelming anxiety, and long hours that left me feeling like I had no time for anything else to help regain my sanity. I’ve gotten in some AF time this weekend, and will continue to make that my goal for the coming week. I think it will get easier, the more I adjust to my job, and the more I ensure to take time for myself in the evenings, no matter how little time I have left.

Stevo - I don’t recall ever feeling anything specifically when I’ve accidentally missed a dose of bac, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it caused you to feel lethargic. Bodies are weird. We all respond so differently to the same medication. I’m glad to hear that you’re still doing well.

MJM - That’s so great that you’ve been AF so long I had no idea that much time had passed already. Congratulations! And you’re right - bac alone is not good enough to get the job done as far as overall peace of mind and happiness are concerned. Exercise and some form of mindfulness/meditation are pretty much essential. After taking a brief hiatus from both during my first week of work, I actually found a good balance for combining the two this weekend, without that even being my conscious intention. I went for a couple walk/jogs at a local park that were fast enough to get my heart pumping, while at the same time allowing myself to clear my head and get completely lost in the beauty of nature. It’s really helped to reset my mental health after my first anxiety-provoking and pretty stressful first week at my new job. Maybe you could try something similar?

Stuck - I’m glad you had a chance to talk things out with your girlfriend, and that you both decided you want to stick it out I wish you the best as you embark on some AF time. I know that trying to sober up when you’re not at “rock bottom” can sometimes be difficult, given that the immediate impetus to dry out doesn’t feel all that urgent. Just try to keep reminding yourself that at this point, everything is still fixable. You don’t want to wait until it’s not.

As for me, I had a lovely, relaxing weekend, and getting a real chance to spend time with my husband on our anniversary was a very nice change from our usual schedules, which barely coincide. I’m still pretty exhausted, despite sleeping in three days in a row, but after having a chance to review all my notes from this past week, and plan out next week’s experiments, I’m feeling a bit more confident and ready to go. I’ll have to go in for a little while this afternoon (as well as a little while on Saturday morning) because the experiments I’m doing don’t lend themselves to a neat, five-day workweek. But that’s OK, because now that the initial shock is fading, I’m already loving this job a million times more than the last one. Anyway, Happy Memorial Day to those who celebrate, and I hope everyone else has a great day!

[Stevo]

G'day to all,
Just dropping in quickly to say hi and also say how glad I am for you LIS that you are enjoying the job and you seem to feel much more at ease now.
Not much happening in my world,which is good and I hope everyone is doing okay.

Until next time...

Cheers Steve.

[Stevo]

G'day to everyone from what is becoming a colder Australia,

No new posts lately from anyone so I thought that I would throw one out there.
It is Friday night here and my son has soccer in the morning so I am spending the evening AF.It is his birthday on Sunday aswell and we are having a party for him so it is looking like an AF weekend which doesn't seem to be worrying me in the slightest(thankyou Baclofen).This will be the first AF weekend since I did the drinking experiment.
My life has been cruising along with no real issues which is really nice but a little dull haha(touch wood).
I signed up to do a bit of training since I seem to have a lot of time on my hands with not working and all.The government in Australia has decided to offer loans to just about anyone who would like to do a bit of study,with the proviso that it doesn't have to be paid back until the recipient is earning x amount of dollars to pay for the cost of getting new qualifications.Therefore I decided it would be a good idea to utilise the time that I have with trying to get myself out of the field that I work in now(or would be if I was working).
I signed up to do a diploma of case management which will open the doors to a whole new spectrum of work opportunities for me.I have a background in nursing and community services(mainly disabilities) so I thought this course would build on the skills and qualifications that I already have.Whilst as I said opening up opportunities for me to step away from the fields that I have worked in for way too long now.I am doing this partly online and partly face to face.
I have been to 2 classes so far and wow being around large groups of people is something that I haven't had to do in a while yet seem to be dealing with it quite well.I quite enjoy being able to isolate or fly solo,my social days are behind me unless ofcourse it is with company I am very comfortable with.

I had an interesting appointment with my GP yesterday.I asked for some more prescriptions for Baclofen which he gave me with no issues but as he handed them to me he says"don't go turning into a Baclofen."He has become very comfortable with prescribing them for me as he has gotten to know me over the last year or so.
I said to him"as a matter of fact I have been thinking of reducing my dose."I spoke to him about my concerns about doing it correctly and that I felt that I may only need to be on a maintenance dose(ofcourse with the option to titrate up again if need be).
He tells me that he would like to know more about how Baclofen works and he is for lack of a better term impressed with my progress.
He begins to try to look things up online and doesn't really find much so I told him that I can access reputable documents that could inform him about how Baclofen works with AUD.
When I first met him and explained what I was doing he actually said to me that he knew nothing about Baclofens application to AUD but he thought that if it worked he had other patients that may benefit from it.He then became quite cold and almost suspicious of my endeavour,stating at one stage that he wanted me to be reducing my dose sooner rather than later as I was on in his words"twice as much as recommended by MIMS."
Anyway yesterday he asked me to gather some information for him and as he knew that I was going to have to come back in today to use their fax machine he asked me to bring it in with me.
He talked with me yesterday as if we were friends and even shook my hand twice before we parted ways.
I have never really wanted to be a trail blazer or some sort of champion for the cause but I got the impression that from what he has seen with me he just maybe has been sold on the idea of Baclofen as a treatment for AUD.It is only one doctor but maybe a few more people who live in the region that I do can have an opportunity to try a new approach to dealing with their drinking problems.
It is kind of nice to feel that my experience might be able to help others.

Anywho,it is getting a little late here and I have to get up early for my sons soccer match,I just wanted to share this with you guys.Any information I gave to my GP today came from links on MWO which I am grateful for,so thanks to the people who have taken the time to put them out there.

I hope that every one is okay and I get to read some new posts from you all soon.

Until next time take care,

Cheers Stevo.

[kronkcarr]

Steveo,

Your post brought me out of the shadows. Your life sounds so good. Congratulations on all parts--the AF weekend without a thought, your schooling choice and your relationship with your doctor. Wow. What a change from before.

My world is good. Work is starting to slow down as Northerners go back to get out of the heat. I know that hardly drinking has made me better at work and for the first time in my life I have a stack of money. Last year I had a cushion. This year it's a pile.

I've gotten serious about my running and entered a 7 day stage race in March 2016. I was cobbling a training program together but reached a dead end so I hired a trainer. I'd never have imagined that I'd commit to such a long term goal or that I'd part with money for a trainer. I'm happy and the training is difficult at times.

I'm almost out of baclofen and I think of tapering off but I'm not sure about that. So I want to go to a doctor I haven't seen in 10+ years. He leans alternative so I'll let you know.

Ne, I'm glad you're back posting and dd it's good to see you. Happy weekend all.

[Stevo]

G'day to all,

WOW this place is quiet.It's a bit like an empty library over the last few days.

Hope all are well...

Cheers Stevo.

[Lostinspace]

Hey Stevo. I’m so sorry for the radio silence. I’m not sure where the others have gone. I just don’t feel comfortable posting right now. I love you all (on this thread). I just can’t. Not without any real conversation the way we used to have. . . and with some of the recent comments. . . I get the sense that I’m at best annoying to everyone here.

Anyway, Stevo, that’s so awesome that a) you’re still doing amazingly well with alcohol, and b) better yet, you’re doing a diploma program!!! And what a great deal that you don’t have to pay anything back until you gain from it yourself! Please keep us informed how it's going.

kronk - I’m so excited to hear about your training program! It wasn't too long ago that you couldn't run at all! Good luck to you. And please do keep us posted.

Anyway, I’m gonna back out from MWO for a bit. I love you all, but I’m not improving beyond the great deal that I already have. I seem to be stuck at a deadend. Take care.

[Stevo]

Hi LIS,it is great to hear from you.
I actually thought that you must be so tired from the new job that you had no time to be posting.You don't need to be sorry for not posting in any way or form.It is because of you that this thread has gone on for as long as it has and I am of the opinion that every day that is survived is progress.
You have been a great source of encouragement to myself and many others and maybe it is time for you to receive a little of that back.
So I would like to start with PLEASE continue to post,at the very least it is an outlet in a safe place and a chance to debrief.Whether you do or not is up to you completely but I for one would definitely like to keep seeing you around here(I am sure that I am not alone in saying this).

I truly hope that what has made you feel that you are at best annoying hasn't come from anything that I have said because for you to feel that way is not an intention that I have had.I know that things are running fairly smoothly for me at the moment but hey that could change at any time and I will need someone with an empathetic ear and keyboard to encourage me through whatever life's dramas may be.You seem to me to be very good at that sort of thing LIS.

Anywho,I hope that things at your new job are going well and that as always I get to read some posts from other regulars in this thread again soon.
Also thankyou for the kind words both Kronk and LIS in regards to the course that I am doing and where I am at with my drinking.

Take care...

Cheers Stevo.

[Spiritfree]

Hi Stevo -thank you for trying to keep this thread active -and please continue to do so.

We have all seen the drop in correspondence on the medication thread. It is my opinion that we need to continue to try and keep people interested and up to date on medications for alcoholism. For various reasons, this thread has helped to keep this part of the site 'alive'. It is my opinion that people need to continue to have access to information regarding medications for alcoholism and this is a great site to help continue this cause -but it has to have traffic in order for people to find said site.

Sounds like you are doing really good Stevo and this is what people want and need to hear.
Thank You
--sf--

[Lostinspace]

Hey Stevo. It’s nothing you said at all. And perhaps I’m being a bit sensitive about the whole thing, but it’s got me thinking. I really don’t contribute anything of value to this community except when I’m there to lend support and encouragement to others. The rest is just me going on about how I’m trying to rid my life of alcohol once and for all, but am once again unsuccessful. It’s boring and unhelpful.

I really appreciate your words of encouragement Thank you. I will certainly keep checking into this community to see if there’s someone who needs some support, or advice, if I feel I’m capable of giving said advice (a lot of things surrounding bac I don’t feel competent to give advice on, given that I’m the weird exception who never reached a comfortable switch, even at really high doses. In the past I would try anyway, based on what I know from other people, just because I hate to see people suffer, or go unanswered. I will no longer do that. I can’t speak from experience).

Other than that, I’ll update you all if and when I have something positive to contribute. Unfortunately, it seems like going up on bac is a no-go at this point (from my now 250 mg). My initial plan was to go up on GoldPharma’s. That’s, regrettably, no longer an option. Other pharmacies I’ve seen listed have mentioned having your information sold. I don’t know where to go. I feel utterly alone. I don’t know where to go next, or if I should just skip down to the 160 mg that are afforded to me by prescription. THIS IS THE ONLY QUESTION I WOULD LIKE ANSWERED. What pharmacy still reliably sells this stuff? Thank you to anyone who read this far. I’m so sorry. My long-winded posts are a thing of the past. Don’t worry.

[StuckinLA]

Man, I've been a shite contributor on this thread. Lis, I don't know where to turn meds-wise. If not River, then I don't know. As for me, well, lots of ups and downs. Some good nights, and some talks with the girl. She doesn't mind if I have a couple, but every time we (or I) try to set limits I seem to plow right past them. Last night was the perfect case in point. In the morning I said I was probably going to the bar in the evening. She texted around 8 to say I'd been there long enough and should come home.

I have no idea what flipped the switch, but when I got home I was just in such a bad mood. I went to my laptop in the living room, she got mad and stayed in the bedroom playing video games and watching tv. Then I slept on the couch and that made her even more mad. What a cluster.

Anyway that's where I am. Hope everyone else is in a better place. Hang in there Lis - and don't feel as though you're not contributing. You're very helpful here, for lots of people. But take care of you first. Hugs all around.

[davelet]

Hey Stevo. It’s nothing you said at all. And perhaps I’m being a bit sensitive about the whole thing, but it’s got me thinking. I really don’t contribute anything of value to this community except when I’m there to lend support and encouragement to others. The rest is just me going on about how I’m trying to rid my life of alcohol once and for all, but am once again unsuccessful. It’s boring and unhelpful.

I really appreciate your words of encouragement Thank you. I will certainly keep checking into this community to see if there’s someone who needs some support, or advice, if I feel I’m capable of giving said advice (a lot of things surrounding bac I don’t feel competent to give advice on, given that I’m the weird exception who never reached a comfortable switch, even at really high doses. In the past I would try anyway, based on what I know from other people, just because I hate to see people suffer, or go unanswered. I will no longer do that. I can’t speak from experience).

Other than that, I’ll update you all if and when I have something positive to contribute. Unfortunately, it seems like going up on bac is a no-go at this point (from my now 250 mg). My initial plan was to go up on GoldPharma’s. That’s, regrettably, no longer an option. Other pharmacies I’ve seen listed have mentioned having your information sold. I don’t know where to go. I feel utterly alone. I don’t know where to go next, or if I should just skip down to the 160 mg that are afforded to me by prescription. THIS IS THE ONLY QUESTION I WOULD LIKE ANSWERED. What pharmacy still reliably sells this stuff? Thank you to anyone who read this far. I’m so sorry. My long-winded posts are a thing of the past. Don’t worry.

Hi LiS. You're not the weird one who didn't reach a switch - I didn't either, and gave up at about 220 mg and titrated down to zero.

David.

[Molly78]

Inhouse pharmacy (based in Vanutua?sp) is very reliable & does not need a prescription. I have been using them for a year now. They only do 10mg, so no good if you want the 25mg They supply Pacifen, produced byMylan in NZ.