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    #16
    My husband returns today! Please help!

    Pamela, I went back and read your past posts. I felt I couldn't really reply to you unless I knew more.

    You seem unsure of a lot about this program, but you stated you own the book and the CDs but have never used them. Why spend all that money for the Cds and not at least try them? Read the book, especially since you have med and supplement questions. And by all means, try the CDs. I think hubby might feel a little less stressed too if he sees you making physical strides. Tell him you need a certain about of time in the evening (maybe after your boys are put to bed) to sit and listen to them without interruption. Maybe even listen to them when you go to bed at night. I've seen RJ post that it is ok to fall asleep while using them because your subconcious is still absorbing the information.

    I also see where you were upset because you cut back to 1/2 a bottle the other day and ate more food. And then stated you wanted to drink instead because you didn't want to gain weight. If I misunderstood this, than I want to apologize right away, but if I didn't ...well, this is not a healthy attitude, hun. Eating more is common when we give up the booze. The booze is a lot of empty calories and no nutrients. This is why you're stressed and have so many body aches and pains. The alcohol may seem like it helps your aches but it is most likely what's causing your aches!! Please discuss this with your Dr. And if the Topa, made your hair fall out, then please go back to your Dr and ask your something else. Also, you don't have to begin a huge stressful exercise routine. But gentle stretching and/or light yoga will also help reduce anxiety and body aches.

    So, again reading the book (which you have), using the CDs (which you have) and starting a supplement routine immediately will give you a huge jump start on your health. Checking in with us everyday will help tremendously. We are not sponsors, but we are better. Instead of relying on one person that just may not be there when you need them, you have hundreds of members here to help 24/7!

    But, Pamela, nothing will improve your situation unless you are ready. We have no magic wands to wave for you. You have the tools already and you have us, but you must do the work. Chart out a plan. Commit to it.

    I truly wish you the best of luck.

    Love, Me
    :l

    And I would like to point out that stress and anxiety was a HUGE trigger for me. I carried a lot of stress in my neck and shoulders that use to bring tears to my eyes on a daily basis. Since being AF the daily chronic aches and pains have gone away. The cramping in my fingers and knuckles are gone. Please keep that in mind. Good luck, hun.
    Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure.

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      #17
      My husband returns today! Please help!

      Thankful and all out there,
      I appreciate your words and the time you took to write them. I have read the book and listened to 2 CD's. I didn't finish all of them nor did I listen to them frequently. I should give them another try.

      My husband and I took the children to dinner then to my older son's hockey practice. I didn't drink, but thought about it. My husband is so tired from his trip so he went straight to bed when we got home. I am also tired and ready for bed. When I feel this way during the day, a drink seems to give me a second wind ( then a 3rd, 4th and so on).
      I will see what the a.m. brings. I know I have to do it but I don't want to not have a drink tomorrow. It's like saying, okay I'll have a lousy day tomorrow. I hate to say that but it is how I really feel.
      Good night everyone, I know I have much to be thankful for. I wish I could get comfortable in my own skin and find peace and comfort without chemicals. This is what my mother (Pamela) seeked and never found. I guess I need to look further.
      Thanks,
      P

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        #18
        My husband returns today! Please help!

        QUOTE by Pamela
        I know I have to do it but I don't want to not have a drink tomorrow. It's like saying, okay I'll have a lousy day tomorrow. I hate to say that but it is how I really feel.
        Hun, how can you think this way? How can you think you are going to have a lousy day without it? You are miserable and hurting so much now because of alcohol.

        Please try to think more positive if you can. I know it's hard. But you deserve to be healthy and happy. And your little ones deserve a mommy who is happy and will be able to remember all those precious little moments of their's and your life. ODAT. Don't think about anything else but ODAT.

        Be good to yourself. If you won't, no one else will. It's up to you. I bet you are stronger than you think. Hang in there.

        Love, Me
        :l
        Alcohol is simply the device between success and failure.

        Comment


          #19
          My husband returns today! Please help!

          Just to clarify, I was just using Tough Love as an example. Partners and family do get frustrated, confused and scared. Their reactions can be very mixed but you have to decide to stop for you.

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            #20
            My husband returns today! Please help!

            you are in the processing period. I did a similar thing before I started to work on being healthy again.

            I felt miserable, stuck, I also felt like there was no support so maybe I was meant to live a life of misery.

            Then I cut down drastically started to go to the gym and taking supplements and forcing myself to think positive.

            this took a good 10 months, but now I can enjoy life.

            take it easy on yourself. first start looking inside yourself.

            be well.
            You can't turn a pickle into a cucumber

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              #21
              My husband returns today! Please help!

              I couldn't imagine never having a drink ever again...but also what helped was to imagine me at 80 ... drunk and old, looking and feeling like a total idiot... (that is if I had gotten to 80 ?) It helped me to imagine certain events with me drunk or abusing alcohol ... not a happy dream more like a nightmare !
              Pamela ... please keep trying...
              ?We are one another's angels?
              Sober since 29/04/2007

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                #22
                My husband returns today! Please help!

                Hi Pamela
                This is never easy but it does get easier. At first, I also HATED the thought of life without drinking...believe me, I did everything I could to avoid that possibility - I HAD to be able to drink. And I wont lie, I have been sober for almost 6 months now and I still think about it - especially recently - dont know why. But it IS doable. I also had terrible anxiety and I used alcohol to treat it. It only made it way worse. Now i can truly say I can have a fun enjoyable day/evening without alcohol - and I find the joy in simple things....You CAN do this too! If I could, anyone can!
                Hang in there,
                xoxox
                Jen
                Over 4 months AF :h

                Comment


                  #23
                  My husband returns today! Please help!

                  I'm encouraged by the latest responses and appreciate them so very much. I bought a pint of V on Saturday and it was supposed to last the weekend. It was gone on Sat. and today has been rough. I went to a baptism and there was very little in terms of alcohol there. I felt frustrated. I did have a few sips of very bad wine and a beer. My husband and I are going to a concert tonight (Jackson Brown). He is at hockey practice now with my son. I went in the back of the cabinet and opened a bottle of tequila that we still had from a surprise bday party my husband had for me a few weeks ago. I opened it very carefully and placed it back in the box after pouring myself a substantial glass.

                  What a jerk I sound like, I know. I wouldn't want to go anywhere, however, if I didn't have a bit. I feel better now; just a little nervous b/c I can't get caught. I'm not sure I'll ever really get better. I am going to focus on moderating and not drinking an entire pint on one day when it needs to last two days.

                  I hope you are all well and thank you for any comments, whether I want to hear them or not.
                  P

                  Comment


                    #24
                    My husband returns today! Please help!

                    Pamela, It sounds like you came here in a panic, but you do not sound like you are open to stopping this madness, even though you are living in constant fear of getting caught and loosing everything, husband children, home etc. But, that is your choice.

                    If you ever do decide that you have had enough and want to stop. There is nothing better than My Way Out. I am sure that this site will still be full of people that will support you. In your efforts.

                    Good Luck,
                    KH
                    A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes~Cinderella

                    AF 12/6/2007

                    Comment


                      #25
                      My husband returns today! Please help!

                      You are right KH. I was in a panic, but do not want to stop. I do want to slow down and not hurt others. I will make myself stop by this site each day, whether I feel like it or not. I do spend quite a bit of time reading here and it does keep the fact that I have a problem in my everyday awareness. I am thankful for responses, I really am.
                      P

                      Comment


                        #26
                        My husband returns today! Please help!

                        Pamela, I have and I am sure others have done the 'putting it back in the box' thing. Not sure what to say.............I decided to give up the fight 4 weeks and 3 days ago (stopped when I got in rehab 2 days later) but can see your back where I once was. My life was controlled by alcohol.

                        Hopefully you will get to your turning point - where you find yourself able to surrender and get a clear start. It will come to you if you keep at it.

                        R

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                          #27
                          My husband returns today! Please help!

                          Pamela,
                          You mention not hurting others.....what about yourself?
                          You deserve to be happy and healthy in mind, body, and spirit..
                          ~Laura

                          Insanity
                          : doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results................... Albert Einstein

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                            #28
                            My husband returns today! Please help!

                            I was you Pamela just over a year or so ago...I NEVER wanted to stop drinking NEVER EVER ... I want to moderate ...but came to terms with stopping or moderating while lurking around here...

                            It will come to you one day, yes some people believe in the 'cruel to be kind approach' and others believe in the 'softly, softly' approach. I think I do both, so do others, I think you should keep coming and should keep reading... it may help you to make the decision ....

                            Only YOU can make it though.....

                            Heavenly
                            ?We are one another's angels?
                            Sober since 29/04/2007

                            Comment


                              #29
                              My husband returns today! Please help!

                              InnerStrength;305561 wrote: Hi Pamela
                              This is never easy but it does get easier. At first, I also HATED the thought of life without drinking...believe me, I did everything I could to avoid that possibility - I HAD to be able to drink. And I wont lie, I have been sober for almost 6 months now and I still think about it - especially recently - dont know why. But it IS doable. I also had terrible anxiety and I used alcohol to treat it. It only made it way worse. Now i can truly say I can have a fun enjoyable day/evening without alcohol - and I find the joy in simple things....You CAN do this too! If I could, anyone can!
                              Hang in there,
                              xoxox
                              Jen
                              I missed your post....I am 100% with you I.S.

                              I never imagined an enjoyable night without alcohol.... but now I do have enjoyable nights sober....and BONUS ...the next day is fine too......
                              ?We are one another's angels?
                              Sober since 29/04/2007

                              Comment


                                #30
                                My husband returns today! Please help!

                                Heavenly,
                                I absolutley love the picture that is posted with you. It is so beautiful and so is your understanding. Thank you and I.S. I'm not sure where I go from here, but your posts are cause for reflection.
                                P

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