My husband returns today! Please help!

[Dolly Sunshine]

My husband returns today! Please help!

Just keep reading so you don't forget the feeling that brought you here. It will come back. I was very much like you.

[Pamela]

My husband returns today! Please help!

Oh God, how much you all know. I will keep reading. I know what you mean about the feeling coming back - it always does. However, I love the "lull" when the pressure is off.I feel like a loser, but indulge anyway.
P

[Dolly Sunshine]

My husband returns today! Please help!

You're not a loser. Once you consider yourself that you've already lost. You're an addict and we don't always make the right choices. I think the good angel on our shoulder gets drunk and passes out way before the little devil on the other shoulder

[Beaches]

My husband returns today! Please help!

Just find a way to begin cutting down now. The sneaking around and hiding will do nothing for your self esteem. You know your husband hates it but it's not his place to decide that you can not drink it is your decision.
From your posts it sounds like going cold turkey will be a bit too much on your system. Try starting drinking later and later in the day and smaller and smaller amounts and then before you know it you will find that you don't need that drink.
If you are still panicking it sounds like you may be using the alcohol as a self medication. Go see a doctor.
There are also many great things in the Health Store here that help with anxiety, cravings etc.

Best to you.

[uda]

My husband returns today! Please help!

Pamela,

Your post really struck a chord with me. Do you think it's possible that you no longer feel like you 'own' your life, not just because of the alcohol but because you find yourself in a situation where you feel you have little control over it?

This was certainly the case for me. I felt trapped and very, very guilty for feeling like that because I had 'so much to be grateful for'. The problem was that wanting to feel happy and grateful didn't alter my real feelings one bit. Alcohol didn't, either.

Accepting my feelings - that it was ok to feel trapped, to feel angry that someone else was running my life etc., that feeling like this didn't make me a selfish ungrateful monster did help me in making some big changes to my life, including greatly reducing the amount of alcohol I drink.

Good luck!

[fairyfeet]

My husband returns today! Please help!

Hi Sister

The only time I dont get really scared and anxious is when I take Kalms, Im taking them again now, and they really do seem to take the edge off the day
They dont stop me drinking but seem to help me cut down and just not feel like my heart is pounding when I think about anything stressful
I am new to this site and although have not stopped drinking I feel sooo releived that all these awful solitary thoughts are also thought of by other people too
In the past every time I have said I was cutting down etc and really meant it in the day, but I still had to go to the shop to make sure I had drink in, my husband used to insist coming to the shop with me to make sure I didnt buy any and I felt like I was in prison and really resentful of him, in fact it made me drink more the more he went on about it
And if I was in secret drinking mode I would glug as much as I could without him knowing, I had bottles hidden all round the house, this is in more recent years though he has started doing this and I swear, along with all the other pressures this made me worse
I am by no means in control of my drinking, my cravings do control my life
But I am sick of beating myself up and thinking that I am a failure
Maybe he is envious that you have that means of escape I know that my husband thinks that way sometimes, but we still have to face life in the morning, and sometimes I hate my life so much because of me, if I could wave a majic wand I would never have started
Try to stop beating yourself up, that is probably stressing you more than anything
Good luck to you and your little men, you will be fine I think if you let your husband in on this site, or another one just to show him you need support not anger

[anxious]

My husband returns today! Please help!

Pamela,
I have a horrid anxiety disorder and the dr tried to put me on anti's and that just made it 1000 times worse A.D.D CRACKHEAD Which btw did increase the desire for alcohol to come on down. And like trixie said it takes a while to get unstuck and out of anxiety mode. We are just too toxic and it takes a while get it all out of your system. I can't even really enjoy drinking anymore. still just do it out of bad habit but everyday see more negatives for it leaving it less than desirable. I am freaky around my husband too then we just end up fighting. This is no way to live life is too short and we're making it shorter!!

:l

[Lorelei]

My husband returns today! Please help!

I too have a tendency to drink when I am anxious. For me that led to binges every few days. I was also drinking while taking an anti-depressant (AD) which screwed my system all up. The thing is Pam you will feel anxious when you stop drinking, for a bit but then the anxiety will subside. I promise you it will. Earlier this year I had a decent AF stretch going and I felt really good. Then I got cocky and well I started drinking more and more; never quite reaching the level I did before the AF stretch but enough to where I am going for abstinance now. I'm going through the anxiety attacks and mood swings which I knew would come, but now I know they will also go away.

We're always here for you!

-lorelei

[Pamela]

My husband returns today! Please help!

Cutting back to 1/2 pint per day didn't last long at all. I seem to need a drink earlier and earlier. I drink in the a.m.! Upon awakening, my body feels physically bad - not hungover but rather in need of a drink. I don't drink right away, but I do between 10 and 11 am. I know this is gross. By the time I go to bed at night, I am exhausted but not drunk. THe thought of quitting seems further and further from my reach.

Thanks for all your posts. I read them all but I just don't know what to do.
P