Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

hi all
vera congrats on 27 years! that is amazing! Do you mind me asking, do you still get along? I am divorced, was in a very unhappy marriage for too long, and I wonder if I will get married again, and if marriage can be happy...and can I have your dinner leftovers? DeeBee, are you by any chance into birds? Evie, it sounds like you are really focusing well on what you are doing. Ask for Help, it is nice to see you back, the more the merrier! Let me know how the tapes work. I admit, I never set up the tape player, I have been feeling very spacey lately. Moving, all this reading for school, kids, etc...Sunbeam, you sound exactly like where I want to be. I think of myself as the problem drinker RJ describes - certainly not an alcoholic, but well....not normal either. As I sit here drinking a glass of wine....hi Vlad, I had borscht once, made by a real Russian here in the States. It was yummy.
'see' you all tomorrow
Lila

[Sunbeam]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

Hi Lila,
I am so glad we can connect here. There are lots of ways and levels of moderation, many choices and paths. I am delighted to share my path with you. I feel like less is more: drinking less gives me much more control when I do drink, without making it a conscious effort, which takes away the relaxing pleasure for me.

I also am happily married for nearly 28 years. I feel happy and blessed. Marriages are as unique as ways to drink moderately. We spend a lot of time in the home we share, doing our own things. I still work full time, but he retired last spring. He still stays pretty busy, is involved in leadership of community organizations. He drinks daily but moderately. I know I cannot do that.

We moved just over four years ago, so I still have memories of how disruptive that is to your life. It was also a cleansing experience. Last winter, on of my tasks was going through all of the things in boxes in the basement that we had not used since we moved. Most went right back into the boxes, were moved to the "donate" pile, went out the door in the spring to my church rummage sale. There just isn't time when you move to go through things you probably don't need - it is quicker and easier to move it.

Stay well, enjoy the day.

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

good morning modders!
that is good to hear, Sunbeam. Some people are married a long time, but they just take shots at each other ( I am thinking of some of my relatives here) and I wonder if it is possible to have a happy marriage for myself someday. And with moving I guess I can't do everything at once, lucky there is a storage room! I can sort thru things later!
have a great Sunday everyone
Lila

[Evie.Lou]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

Morning modders,just a quick HELLO and want to say that this is such a wonderful group...You make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.The love just radiates out from the screen when I read this thread.Keep up the great work that you all are doing..

[j-vo]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

Morning all,
Congrats Vera-b on your 27 years. That's awsome. Just like moderating, it takes a lot of special tools and strategies to stay together for that long. I've been with my husband since I was 15 and now am 43.Not married since 15! Just dating until 25. And what is a ciabotta roll? Last night was my first "special" occasion to moderate after 71 days AF. I was nervous about it. My husband and I did some x-mas shopping for my son who was at a friend's sleep-over b-day party. We decided to go to a smoke-free restaurant and have pizza and a few drinks. (I just quit smoking about 1 1/2 months ago and am currently chewing Nicorette gum - 3 to 4 pieces a day). We did that, it was enjoyable. Now I sit here and think, did I have two because that was the limit I put on myself - why didn't I just have one instead? I tend to beat myself up over shit like this. Two drinks was intended for a longer session - but we were only there an hour or so. Did I f-up already?

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

hi J-vo
I think quitting cigarettes is a major accomplishment! I have never smoked myself, but I know cigarettes are incredibly addictive, and manufactured to be as addictive as possible. It is interesting to me to hear about these happy, long term marriages. I am single, and enjoying this time, just me and the kids, but like I said, I think I would like to get married again in the future...
Lila

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

Hi mod squad!

Time for me to catch up! Hubby set me up with my new computer starting yesterday and we just finished up. I have been able to jump in to the forum here and there but just now able to get to our special thread.

So many things I read that I'd like to respond to!
I'll start with Vlad. What is balalaika? I love the word but have no idea what it is.

DeeBee I do love the bird blurb. I love birds and do much of my learning from nature.

Guitarista :guitar1: I haven't really said hi to you yet, so "hi". I assume you play guitar. I play and sing a little. It's one of those things though that I've not done much of recently since AL became so important. It's one of my goals, to pick it back up as it's very enjoyable to me.

j-vo, I thik you are over-analyzing the 2 drinks way too much! Relax, you had 2 drinks! If it had been 12 you would need to be worried.

Lila, I have been through 2 divorces - both yucky marriages. My 3rd hubby is awesome! We knew it immediately and have now been happily married 10 years. So it is possible!

Eve, I love the drink tickets! I'm quite sure you didn't mean it this way, but when I read that, I thought, I am going to make up some drink tickets for myself. When I go to a party, I will decide ahead of time how many drinks to allow myself (2 or 3 depending on the length of time I will be there) and I will take that number of tickets along with me. Each time I get a drink I will put a ticket in different pocket, crumple it, give it to hubby, or whatever. Knowing myself as I do, this will be an effective tool for me. I love it.

vera: lobster, yummy!!!!

Everyone else: hi and I can't remember what else I wanted to say right now. Too much on my little brain. I love this thread too. It's exactly what I need right now in my journey. Thanks everyone for making me feel special here. Stay positive!

periwinkle

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

Two divorces??? And you still braved marriage again? I am so glad that third time is the charm. Really gives me hope. Peri, your advice in the other thread was so wise. My next personal problem I am taking to you!!
Lila

[DeeBee]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

HideHo Squad!

I had a wonderful weekend with my parents, they spoilt me rotten with cake (more chocolate cake, can you believe it!!), koeksisters and all sorts of treats!
My dear father bought me a dinky of wine, which I didn't finish so he gave it to me when I left and said that I should have it tonight when I get home - my Mum (bless her) promptly told him off and reminded him that I was taking control of my AL consumption so drinking on my own was a no-no!
My Mum and I touched on my drinking last weekend and last night when we were in bed and the light was turned off she started asking about it again in more detail - I find it so much easier to chat away in the dark.... we had a great talk, I told her about the program and that I saw a Doctor - she sounded a bit surprised at how seriously I was taking my problem, but she also said how relieved she was that I had it under control as my daughter had made a couple of comments to her in the past... that nearly broke my heart!

Lila, I wouldn't know a sparrow from a finch lol! I can see where you might get the idea that I am into birds.... I do love them and think they are graceful creatures but alas do not know much about them.

Vladster, your Russian evenings always sound so exotic for me.... I would love to hear you play the Balalaika. Well done on AF friday! Jolly well done!

Ask, welcome aboard!! Yes I too believe we are stronger united! Stick around and we'll help you achieve your modding goals.

J-Vo, "did I have two because that was the limit I put on myself - why didn't I just have one instead?"
I could really relate to this. I too wonder is it because that is the limit I have set. I am going to try for one glass next time.

Peri, a new 'puter, lucky lady!!

Has anyone heard from BH? Haven't seen a post from her in a while????

I am so pleased to hear everyone had a great modding weekend and stuck to thier goals this weekend.

Hi to anyone I missed, I must dash and unpack the bags and get the laundry on the go.

Happy Sunday all!

[Eve11]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

periwinkle;452811 wrote: I am going to make up some drink tickets for myself. When I go to a party, I will decide ahead of time how many drinks to allow myself (2 or 3 depending on the length of time I will be there) and I will take that number of tickets along with me. Each time I get a drink I will put a ticket in different pocket, crumple it, give it to hubby, or whatever. Knowing myself as I do, this will be an effective tool for me.

It was a charity event we went to and so yes they were real drink tickets that were handed out but that's an EXCELLENT idea and I'm going to do the same. Anyone can buy a roll of tickets here in the states at a craft's store and hopefully overseas too. So, I am going to do the same when I go to a party or out to dinner or an event. Carry the tickets and when they're gone...they're gone. Love it as well! Two heads ARE better than one!

[Delta Moon]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

Good Sunday to all! Just checking in. Had friends over last night and had 3 glasses of wine. Felt o.k. this a.m. Not beating myself up, either. Off to mass and enjoying this God given day. Blessings to all. Has anyone heard from Sunbeam? Miss that ray of light.

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

hi St John! Yes, where are you Sunbeam??

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

Lila;452866 wrote: Two divorces??? And you still braved marriage again? I am so glad that third time is the charm. Really gives me hope.

I had LOTS of therapy after the second one!!!! I believe my hubby is my soul mate. There were so many times that we should have met that our paths could have crossed in the past before we met. It's weird.

Yes there is hope!

[periwinkle]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

Lila;452866 wrote: Peri, your advice in the other thread was so wise. My next personal problem I am taking to you!!

Kid problems is something I have a lot of experience with. One of mine has bi-polar disorder. But the Drs didn't figure that out until he was 15. Until then I was being told I was not a good parent. I was sent to every parenting class that ever was created. I could teach those damn parenting classes! But until my son received the meds he needed, I was considered a bad parent. I sure gave it my all though. But thank you Lila!

[Lila]

Mod Squad Weekly Thread 20/10/08

Peri, were you ever a single parent? The bipolar thing sounds very frustrating! When did you start to suspect something may be different about him? I have a friend with a very young child who has concerns about that.
And Evie, hi, how are you doing this stormy Sunday? You sound very positive, that is good to hear.