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Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

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    #46
    Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

    Yes, sara I can totally relate. Because of all of the disfunction in my upbringing I used al to alter my mind and escape. I would need it daily for relief from the anxiety and tension because things just weren't 'right' in my head. I am now learning how to deal with reality and forgive the things of my past.
    Living in the present and meeting life head-on sober is a new and exhilarating experience. I still may drink again but never the way I used to. I never ever want to go back there again. Two glasses of wine is manageable. Did you go over your goal? Yes, I do measure and am strict about reporting the exact amt. on the tracker. If I am not honest about that I may as well give it all up.
    Blessings to you and your sweet family for Easter.
    Toughen up!

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      #47
      Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

      Thank you, Delta Moon,
      I stuck with two, but my plan had been to abstain. Even with just two, I went to bed feeling guilty, because two wasn't my plan. Turns out I was pre-menstrual, which is often a time when my tense moods lead me to want to drink when I haven't planned on it. (This may be more than you want to know, but hey, it's part of the problem!)

      Today my sister and her kids come to visit, and I'm going to plan on 2 glasses of wine tonight and tomorrow. I measured four ounces of water into my wine glasses, so I know how little that really is, compared to how I have usually filled them.

      Although I woke up this morning thinking how much I wished I'd had nothing last night, I'm planning on two today and tomorrow, to avoid setting myself up for "failure". If my goal is two, I can say, "hey I did it. Good for me, I stuck to two" instead of being mad at myself. Does this sound like rationalizing, or planned modding? There's a fine line, I guess. But having two glasses of wine in the company of my sister, whom I adore, have a healthy relationship with, and who is not a heavy drinker, seems like a reasonable drinking scenerio. It's what I'm aiming to be able to do. The trick will be to go back to being AF for Sunday, and through the week.

      I hope everyone enjoys their Easter weekend, and Passover. My kids are out of school today, and I'm planning on remindinng myself through out the day that although the days seem to last forever, the years will fly by.

      Love and good wishes to all.
      Sara
      "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

      Comment


        #48
        Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

        Good Morning, Ladies...

        I AM the last man standing, yes?
        I don't know what edge of the world Zed fell off of;
        I hope he's not back in jail and not able to contact us;
        but now it's me...the man.

        Short note since not many have posted yet today..
        Sara:
        If you are not going to let yourself enjoy it; quit.
        Two drinks is fine;
        it's moderation.
        If you can BEHAVE on two drinks,
        I said, if you can BEHAVE on two drinks,
        then stick to it and NEVER feel guilty;
        and stop trying to do stretches of AF
        that don't seem achievable right now.
        That's adding to your guilt.
        Just enjoy your two drinks and let it go.

        A Modder is not a failed Abber.
        A Modder has DECIDED that she still wants to drink,
        but drink a controlled and sane amount
        that doesn't disturb her or her family unit..
        You decide what that amount is
        and then ENJOY it...
        Stop all this hand wringing...

        Delta: Watching your next step with excitement and interest!

        ((ThatGirl
        ))

        Everyone else: Hi...TGIF!!!!



        ~Kid~
        It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that brings us happiness.
        ~ Charles Spurgeon

        Comment


          #49
          Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

          hi everyone
          I will be super busy this weekend, so won't see you all for awhile.
          Sara, hang in there, keep working thru your feelings here, things will work out somehow.
          happy Easter everyone!
          Lila

          Comment


            #50
            Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

            Hi all

            I didn't make it through the mid-week as it turns out. I seem to have created this pattern of having a binge once a week and find it hard to get out of. No bad conseqences, aside from feeling bad. The rest of the days I am moderate typically.

            I felt discouraged but not going to give up. I will try creating a second account for drink tracker. I contacted RJ already but did not hear back.

            Sara: I agree with Kid, two glasses is moderation!

            Comment


              #51
              Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

              Nancy, the GOOD news is...

              If your pattern is THAT predictable,
              you only have to break the pattern once.
              If a person ALWAYS broke down on Thursdays at 5PM and drank,
              then something must be substituted at that time and place.
              Go to the gym or something.

              What is amazing to me is, that URGES PASS.
              You think "I am craving this SO much right now; if it gets any worse I'm going to go crazy. I must have it RIGHT NOW"
              It's like you'll never get another chance to drink or something.
              Then suddenly; the urge is GONE and you're good for another day!
              Find a way to get through it..
              ~Kid~
              It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that brings us happiness.
              ~ Charles Spurgeon

              Comment


                #52
                Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

                Kid Shelleen;590035 wrote:
                A Modder is not a failed Abber.
                A Modder has DECIDED that she still wants to drink,
                but drink a controlled and sane amount
                that doesn't disturb her or her family unit..
                You decide what that amount is
                and then ENJOY it...
                Stop all this hand wringing...
                Kid,
                VERY well said for the modders on board. Thank you!!

                I chose to have 1 glass and 1/2 (finished a bottle from last Saturday night) last night.

                I totally re-arranged my sons bedroom (moving heavy furniture with sliders underneath) mostly by myself. Got to be around 9:00, wanted to watch t.v. and gosh darn it...no work the next day, no school for the kids and I decided to enjoy the glass and a half from the bottle our company didn't finish on Saturday night.

                I sat down, relaxed, sipped slowly and thoroughly enjoyed myself. Did I feel guilty? No!
                Why? Because I drank a controlled amount that didn't affect myself or my family in any way. Hubby was home so if an emergency had occurred I had a designated driver. An so it was...and so it is. The mod life is the good life when one is careful with how they choose to drink.
                Hugs all,
                Eve11:l
                "Control your destiny or somebody else will"

                ~Jack Welsh~:h

                God grant me the serenity to accept the people I cannot change, the courage to change the one I can, and the wisdom to know it's me. ~Author unknown, :thumbs:

                Comment


                  #53
                  Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

                  Ditto on that. Well said Kid.

                  I don't feel guilty if I have a beer or two when I'm out kayaking(there's still one in the cooler from last week, just didn't feel like drinking it, even though I had it on board) or if I sit down and enjoy a shift drink after work.

                  That is so true about breaking patterns & allowing cravings to pass... finding something else to do...
                  It amazes me sometimes on a day off, I'll have it in my mind to enjoy a beer @ a some moment, then I'll get busy doing something,... next thing you know hours have gone by, and I've forgotten all about it.
                  The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower: zwink:

                  Comment


                    #54
                    Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

                    Great Pic, StJ...

                    (I can't wait til it warms up to take my girlie paddlin'!)

                    Sitting in tonight, Good Friday.
                    There was some drama in our church this year
                    and we kinda drifted away.
                    My family started back this Easter Season,
                    but I haven't made the leap yet.

                    Every year I watch Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ" as a sort of penance; that's what I'm doing now.

                    Had some more supps delivered today;
                    3 days AF since going out with the wife Tuesday.
                    Seems alot easier to go AF if I don't drink that second day in a row.
                    "6 off/one on" is going to be the basic system for now.
                    Everyone going to have a great evening and weekend?
                    ~Kid~
                    It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that brings us happiness.
                    ~ Charles Spurgeon

                    Comment


                      #55
                      Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

                      Nancy,
                      Before coming to MWO I was more of a binge drinker, although I also had 2-3 glasses on a weeknight or two. What I discovered is that if I keep my frequency at once per week, I will not go overboard. If I drink more often than that, I seem to be priming the binge pump. For me, it isn't that important that I have those three glasses instead of two. What is important is that I keep my frequency down to once weekly or less. Then I can easily avoid drinking too much. My husband always has wine in the house, so this is even with readily-available alcohol.
                      My life is better without alcohol, since 9/1/12. My sobriety tool is the list at permalink 236 on the toolbox thread under monthly abstinance.

                      Comment


                        #56
                        Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

                        Kid- Our family watched the Passion last night too. I am always so emotional when I watch it. It is a Good Friday requisite in our home now after we do the stations of the cross.

                        May all of my mod friends have a very blessed Easter.
                        Toughen up!

                        Comment


                          #57
                          Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

                          Checking In

                          Hi all;

                          just a quick note to say I've been working too hard these past two weeks and have gotten myself into a bit of a hard spot. Have enjoyed a quiet day today and am looking forward to Easter tomorrow and a lighter workload for the next two weeks. Hope to do more checking in.

                          Ask

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                            #58
                            Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

                            Long time no see...

                            Ask,
                            Good to hear that you are still kicking..
                            Don't be a stranger!
                            ~Kid~
                            It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that brings us happiness.
                            ~ Charles Spurgeon

                            Comment


                              #59
                              Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

                              Hey Ask, It is good to hear from you.
                              I'm having a busy weekend, with family visiting, so it's been hard to check in. I'm modding successfully, I'd say, though. Looking forward to having a little time to myself again on Monday, and checking in then.
                              Happy Easter, everyone.
                              Sara
                              "When she enjoyed her drinking she couldn't control it, and when she controlled it, she couldn't enjoy it." (from The Big Book)

                              Comment


                                #60
                                Mod Squad Week of 4/6/09

                                Happy Easter Morning to everyone...He is risen!!

                                I know it's primarily a Christian Holiday
                                but it's also a day for feasting, fun and family.
                                Enjoy the Day,
                                and each other..
                                **Peace**

                                ~KID~
                                It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that brings us happiness.
                                ~ Charles Spurgeon

                                Comment

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