June modders

[Cherbear]

June modders

Wow its already the 6th of June!!, I have been crazy busy out of town for a trip and celebrating my daughter's 21st birthday, ugh. It was nice, she has had few of her own Al issues but seems to be in a good place currently. She knows my issues I have been very honest with both my daughters. I feel that is very important. My other daughter is 27 and is quite a partier too. Their dad, my ex. is a heavy drinker too, Alot more baggage with him. He is an "ugly" drinker. I was always the "holier than thou" covering up drinker.
I was reflecting on some comments from Lila and TMH and the running theme... that fits for me.. highly driven., Bad self talk, boy can that be me. I have to stop myself when I hear my inner voice beating me up. Why do we do that? Well, I'm rambling right now.
Rebirth. , sounds like you are doing great! I am not moderating as well as I'd like, I need to be honest.
I can stop at 2 drinks but again I want to have those 2 every night. I had a debate with some friends about how bad is that habit .. 2 a night. and I know for me, I have slipped up and began drinking more and more. when I would wake up and know that I had consumed a whole bottle, I DON"T want that to happen again.
Hope all are having a good week.

[rebirth]

June modders

Morning Cher- I also wonder myself why we like to beat each other up. I think we are born with certain emotions. We need to feel loved and unfortunately society is about the fittest, the strongest, the prettiest. If you are not any of those then you are worthless. I know that my insecurities stems alot from social conditioning.

Its really admirable that you are being honest Cher. Some people drink on a daily basis and have no issues with it. I think only you know whether it's right for you are not. I personally avoid drinking during the week because I see it as a trigger and I dont think I am strong enough to moderate on a daily basis. I also like the fact that I am giving my body a break. i also love to exercise and AL makes me feel tired.

It's all a learning curve and you got to try out different methods. Stay vigilant. x

[Lila]

June modders

I think I will get sparkly water and limes and have a "drink" this evening. Sounds nice!
I met with a friend yesterday and he wasn't surprised I got so stressed, given all my stressors - he said to be compassionate with myself. I guess how you wouldn't talk to someone else, you shouldn't talk to yourself that way, either.
I am going to do some yard work today, that always makes me feel good. I have Kava Kava ordered from Amazon, that's a nice de-stressor.
Thanks for your words, rebirth. I think when things get to be so much, we (I!) really can lose perspective. Also, with all your exercise talk I got inspired - lately in the evenings when it is a little cooler, I ride my bike. I live by some very nice trails. It is a beginning.

[rebirth]

June modders

Hi Lila-Kava Kava? I heard of this before. Isnt this an energy drink? Bike riding is a great destressor and it burns some serious calories too.

One more hour to go and then I have finished work. One of my friends passed by with a HUGE slice of carrot cake which I ate ofcourse. Cream frosting and all! It was yummy.But it only means that I shall be working out more this evening. But thats okay. x

[rebirth]

June modders

Hmm. That slice of carrot cake set me off on a binge eating session. I definitely need to keep working on my all or nothing attitude. One day at a time...sigh.

[Lila]

June modders

Rebirth - Kava Kava is for calming you down, and for anxiety.
Much better than alcohol, actually!
I wouldn't get so upset about too much cake - if it becomes a huge deal you might start thinking about it too much, you know?
Hope all you Modders have a great day!

[ToMyHealth]

June modders

Hey Rebirth, like Lila said, don't worry about the one day binge. Start over. Either forget it, or if it makes you feel better you say you eat what you want on the weekends, take one weekend day & stick to eating plan. As in a drinking slip, probably just better to move on but understand your resolve too. You're doing great! In a couple weeks I want to be just like you. Seriously. You are my role model.

Anybody hear from Eve? I'm wondering how her Vegas vaca went.

Hitting double digits today!!! Day 10 for me. Accepted an invitation for tomorrow night to "stop by for a drink" and go out to dinner. I plan to bring a couple O'Douls (NA beer) and just nochalantly say I'm taking a little break here. More than likely I'll only have one of those and not a bad thing to leave the other one as I know someone who is extremely worried about the man's drinking. I had/have no room to judge. Know he likes to bike ride and if he has never tried NA beer he may come in and grab the NA after a bike ride and think hhmmm, not so bad. However, my main concern is moi.

You guys I'm pretty strong here but it sure would help if I could sleep. I got up at midnight and read, got up at 6:00a, watched a fav religious program at 6:30a, was so sleepy that I went back to bed until 9:30. That is so not me!!! I've tried no sleeping in, no naps, short naps, extra exercise, cutting back on exercise, Calm Forte. Any ideas?

[Lila]

June modders

TMH - have you tried 5-htp? Or Kava Kava?
I take Trazedone to sleep, but someday want to stop taking it. I have a hypnosis CD from Paul McKenna called "I Can Make You Sleep" but I haven't listened to it yet. Just another thing I want to do!
But, if it is bad, I am sure your doctor would get you a prescription for Trazedone. It is an antidepressant that they prescribe off-label cuz one of the side effects is extreme sleepiness. I take it and do not feel groggy the next day.

Good for you getting in the double digits! I had a few beers last night - it was over 100 degrees here, so I did.
Yes, where is Eve? I haven't *seen* her in so long!

[ToMyHealth]

June modders

Hey, Lila, thanks for advice. Have tried 5-htp in the past for depression issues. At the time did not work for me. Can't remember why but doc gave me prescription for Trazedone once, long time ago. Sure it must have been sleep issues. You know I think I'm going to try taking either Benadryl or the Calm Forte an hour or two b4 bed, and then another one and if it doesn't turn around then I'm going to call my doc.

Are you from midwest? I am but presently in FL and kind of chuckling that it's hotter up there than here. So were you doing an AF stint or are you already in the moderating phase? Just wondering.

Edit: see you are from upper midwest.

[rebirth]

June modders

Hi Lila and THM and any other modders lurking,

TMH- Double digits! way to go! When I abstained for five months last year, I had sleep issues for the first month or so. I couldnt sleep properly as I always medicated myself with AL to get to sleep. I use to wake up with a pretend hangover too. Was very odd. But that didnt last long and I was sleeping like a baby afterwards. I didnt take anything during my abstinence. Just accepted that I couldnt sleep.

It remined me of the days when my son was a baby and kept me up all night. Lol.

Anyway, I stopped being angry with myself about the cake so I am back on track. I have to stop thinking that i need to be perfect all the time, right guys?

[ToMyHealth]

June modders

Ok, am ready to go out the door for "a drink" (for me, O'Douls) and dinner. I already marked my Drinker Track with a zero. Day 11. 1/3 of the way if I decide to do the full 30. It's getting harder. I spend an inordinate amount of time here reading; think I should monitor that as I feel like all I get done is my exercise. Hope there is a turning point here soon as in lose some wt, look better, feel even better.

Rebirth - 5 months - that is a long time and something to be very proud of! Good for you moving on re: cake.

Lila - saw you in the archives here, 2008? Not many daily posts so went to page 12 and going backwards on the LT Moderators. Hope you're having a good day!

[rebirth]

June modders

Good luck TMH! Stay strong!

[ToMyHealth]

June modders

Hey, rebirth, thanks! I did it! Drank my O'douls while they had a cocktail. They asked me to drive since I wasn't drinking. Had one more na beer while they had another cocktail and then wine with dinner and we (even me) had a good time! I felt so good about myself arriving home. In the past I would have had glass of wine at their house, 1 or 2 glasses of wine with dinner, and then when I got home I'm sure I would have poured another one. Fast forward to Moderating: want to enjoy that glass of wine with friends again, then 1, at most 2 with dinner, NONE upon arriving home.
Like the new pic too!

[rebirth]

June modders

TMH- WELL DONE!! It's such an amazing feeling when you do what you set yourself out to do! And it shows that you can do it. Great news. x

So today is friday and I have been invited to a big 40th birthday party.There will be plenty of food and AL so I plan to do a light exercise workout when I get home. I will then drive there and just have the one glass of wine.Nothing when I get home. I want to feel fresh tomorrow morning to perhaps go to the gym.

For the past seven weeks, I have been watching what I eat 90% of the time and exercising a minimum of five days a week. So far I have lost a good solid five pounds of fat by still eating chicken wings, cake, bread etc. I have another five pounds to go and then i have my bikini body. It's slow but I prefere it this way as diets make me feel deprieved. I only end up putting the weight back on again.

My weightloss this time is about changing the way I eat permanently. It's about nipping my binge eating in the bud. I just have to stay consistent rather than my all or nothing attitude.

I am doing it with AL so I can do this with food. It's all about moderation right guys? Have a lovely friday all. x

[ToMyHealth]

June modders

2nd night in a row - invited to join same friends plus others for Happy Hour & dinner at club. Bartender asked "chardonnay"? Well, I'd love to BUT diet tonic with lime please. Went into dinner and as waitress was going around table taking drink orders she got to me and asked "chardonnay"? I said, no, still on the wagon (only she could hear). O'Doul's? Sure. 7 of us, talked and laughed just as much as if I would have been drinking. I'm sorry if this is boring, it's just that it is surprising and empowering. I mean I have a large bottle of chardonnay in house and an open one in frig from when I was down here in May so between not imbibing while alone or being tempted with friends, well, who would have thunk!

Rebirth - see you have an excellent plan for the b.d. party. Sure it's going well! Here's to a good w/o tomorrow!