October Mod Squad

[FarfallaP]

October Mod Squad

Hi Bond Girl...wanted to mention that I clicked on the link you posted about moderation chances of success and enjoyed taking the little quiz. (I am a sucker for helpie-selfie type quizzes)...thank you very much...FF

[Lila]

October Mod Squad

hi all
BG, thanks for all those links. This weekend, my kids will be at their dad's, thank God, and I will click on them. LG, did you mention that you felt safe here? I do, too.
I started seeing a therapist, so many things in my life are out of kilter. He asked about drinking, just as a matter of course, and I downplayed it. The whole issue of it. Is anyone here honest with therapists, medical professionals? Just curious.
L
L

[FarfallaP]

October Mod Squad

The topic never really came up, as I recall, but I was careful to check the boxes for "occasional" drinker, so effectively, I DID minimize the situation...but, I didn't want anyone telling ME what to do!

Knowing what I do now about facial redness, I wonder if perhaps a good dermatologist could have/should have clued me in to a very clear sign of my drinking more than my liver and cardiovascular system could handle, but no one ever did.

Of course, when my CT scan (to rule out a different tummy issue) showed fatty liver, that doctor just very bluntly said, "no alcohol." Fortunately a different dr. Looked at the liver enzymes, which were fine, and said moderation was OK...and the scans soon showed the liver is fine, and now my face is white again.

I guess it might depend on whether or not you'd like a Rx for something to decrease the desire to drink, or Antabuse, for example. I personally did not want to quit, although I felt I should.... FF

[FarfallaP]

October Mod Squad

Oh, Lila, sorry, I got focused on the medical professional part of your remark. I guess for me it would depend on how much I grew to trust the therapist, and whether or not I felt he would have helpful insights.

BUT, I read such scary things on some of the other threads here at MWO about medications, side effects, etc etc, that I personally WOULD be completely honest about my alcohol habits and quantities before taking any Rxs... Don't want to take any unnecessary risks, etc. Hope you like the therapist! FF

[Lasha]

October Mod Squad

Hi FartfallaP,
We're going to the East side of Mexico below Cancun, it's all inclusive so will be a challenge but one I am looking forward to. Don't think I'll taper much below 8 drinks until I get back to work.

[vlivengood]

October Mod Squad

Probably not the best thing to say but all bets are off on an all inclusive vacation. I will say that when my hubby and I went to Cabo last year we drank pretty much the entire time and I HONESTLY think I would have enjoyed it more if we kept the drinking to the evenings only, and not started off with bloody mary's and mamosa's at breakfast every day.

I think we would have enjoyed a lot more the resort had to offer..... well we did a lot of stuff but it may not have been such a haze

We wanted to make it a yearly trip but with son away at college we can NOT afford it and no way I want to be away when he visits for Thanksgiving

[FarfallaP]

October Mod Squad

I agree with V...when AL is available, for "free," in a luxurious setting, I find it almost impossible to resist...even though I KNOW just the orange juice would be fine, without the liquor in the mimosa.

On the good side of the equation, I am sad to report that I was already such a heavy drinker at home that I did not feel that the indulgence at the resort exceeded what I normally drank in my own living room. And, food always came right along with the cocktails, which slows down my drinking.

Do not forget the sunscreen and the insect repellant...I like the pre- moistened towelettes for insect repellant which I can keep in my purse or beach bag or pocket, as sometimes the mosquitoes find my feet under the table in outdoor restaurants...only me, of course.

Oh, what fun! Have a grand time.... FF

[Lasha]

October Mod Squad

I see what you're saying and would normally agree but this is a request from my best mate to go on holiday with him and his wife and 2 lovely kids to try and get rid of this depression. I was drinking a lot less until I lost Dad an big sis within 4 months. He's going to look after me he says!!

I'm going down to 7 drinks today and don't seem that worried, target is now 6 drinks until we get back, I've got to be realistic I can't not drink on hols but not before 7pm.

After all my local pub and offy are all inclusive I just hand over some booze tokens (money).

We went to Gambia all inclusive 15 years ago and yes it was a boozy hol but I was younger and organs were better but not this time....

[BondGirl]

October Mod Squad

Hi Farfella,

I've been honest with my therapist about the drinking thing since it's one of the issues I'm working on. Therapists are bound to keep privacy about the sessions. I used to lie about my alcohol intake to regular doctors, but since the last couple of visits concerned alcohol withdrawal, I sort of had to be honest.

I recently learned that thanks to HIPAA it's harder than you think for insurance companies to access your medical records. I was a little worried about my rate going up sky-high or getting dropped altogether. Still not sure about all the rules, but I'm a little less worried.

I'm on Day 28 of successful moderation. The ONE beer I had this month means I can't claim total abstinence, but coming from 15 or so drinks a day, that's really nothing. I feel great and people keep telling me I look better, so I figure simple vanity will help keep me on the right path. Almost no cravings, though I have regained my desire for chocolate (which could also be because it's "that time of the month", LOL!)

Have a great day everyone!
-A

[FarfallaP]

October Mod Squad

Hi guys...
This is such an individual journey, I think we each just have to figure put what works for us...
Bond girl, I noticed you have San Fco on your sign in, when I was very young I worked for an insurance co. on California Street...lived at the corner of Sacramento & Larkin, on the edge of Chinatown...happy memories. Is Taddich's still there? first time I tried abalone, $ am now allergic!
Anyway, congrats on your successful moderation/abstention during the last month. I will confess that vanity has helped me a LOT in this struggle, especially right at first, when the differences were so notable.

[FarfallaP]

October Mod Squad

Hi guys again... ( trying to post before I get timed out means two short notes are better, I think) back to individual personalities...I have a competitive streak, which I can sometimes harness to my advantage...and I am pretty careful to tailor my drinking, when in public, to what the other women are up to...I will almost ALWAYS have at least one alcoholic drink, but am VERY careful to never be the one to have the most...and in the scenario you mentioned, I probably would be very careful to never have any more than my mate's wife...(hoping hard she'd have quite a few!). LOL.
You will have a wonderful time no matter what. FF

[HabitualDefender]

October Mod Squad

vlivengood;1387852 wrote: Probably not the best thing to say but all bets are off on an all inclusive vacation.

Excellent point V. I would add to that- other celebratory gatherings like- open bar weddings. Heh, especially because I had two of them in a row last month. I was able to keep the wheels on, but most of my family are teetotalers even though plenty of others were whooping it up, so I endured some attitude despite my continued restraint (6-7 beers) at each wedding and 2-3 beers on weeknights in between. I was pretty damn pleased about that given my recent history!

Then the shite hits the fan at work and I get to feeling out of control due to extreme expectations on the job. It pays well but family tends to get the short end because I have to work extra hours in too frequent spurts to solve some really difficult technical problems. But the bills are high and somebody has to pay them. We're underwater on the mortgage so we feel trapped there too. Wife works but has no secondary Ed so income is a bit limited for her but at least her job provides decent medical ins.

So I get to feeling that the job is taking an unfair advantage of me and family isn't showing much appreciation for the extra effort necessary. Then I get to the ole "poor me, poor me, pour me another drink!" I was blowing my successful taper, and the wife got in my face about it. I will not respond to her trying to provoke me to violence so I go to the bar for a few beers and maybe a little weed if I'm lucky to help me chill and blow off steam.

This cycle really hurts my self-esteem and I feel disrespected. I won't stay out all night and overdo at the bar because I have to drive so I'm not totally over it by the time I go home. My wife only has initiated to make up as many time as I can count on both hands in 29 years of marriage, so I'm not going to crawl to her either. Then we live separately under the same roof, even the same bed, even same dinner table without a word for sometimes a week (yep tomorrow will be a week this time). I have allowed bitterness to take root, but I am realizing it more now.

I feel so pulled in opposite directions at times, it can be very frustrating. Sorry for the long rant, I'm not really looking for advice, I know I could make some really tough choices but there are some really bad circumstances for those too.

Thanks for letting me get this off my chest.

--HD

[HabitualDefender]

October Mod Squad

Forgot to mention, I'm back on the taper. Last 4 days have been 9, 7, 5, and only 3 beers last night.

But today is Friday....FECK!

I didn't feel well today, I get stomach pains after a drawn-out stressful push on the job. So I called sick. Not hung-over at all but the meds for my stomach make me really drowsy. In a really odd way, that helps me feel like I have at least a little control.

I know I have a thinking problem and a drinking problem. Time to get the hypno CDs, yeah, maybe that could help.

--HD

[Lila]

October Mod Squad

HD, that is GREAT!!
FF, it is a therapist, and he wouldn't prescribe. it was one of those screening questions they always ask. i have a kid with problems, which i don't want to talk about on a public forum, i get paranoid. he did say i "needed help managing stress" as we summed up our meeting, which i agree with.
sooo glad it is friday!
L

[vlivengood]

October Mod Squad

HD - I can relate to a lot of your struggles but I am 100% sure that take away the alcohol and that bitterness is not HALF as strong.... The no talking thing is just stupid, my hubby and I used to play that game and still do at times but for MUCH shorter stints (we once did TWO weeks), I just came to realize that we are absolutely in love with each other and not going anywhere and I know eventually each silent treatment will end so why prolong it? PRIDE?! Get it over with as fast as you can the longer it lasts the longer you stew the worse YOU feel..... it may hurt for that ONE second when you give in but it passes right away, who cares who is the one who succumbs to the silent treatment first, it is MUCH harder to be the one to break the silence then it is to continue it..... You should be proud that is you most of the time....

Good Job on the Tapering Have a good safe weekend