I don't want to be totally AF......,

[frances]

Hey Blue - Glad you made it!! Good for you! Sounds like a lot of running around, I can see how that would make everything hurt :-D

I don't go on vacation until Sunday. I'm checked out of work mentally though and so I've decided to take a half day today and take tomorrow off. I have a bunch of stuff to do to get ready for the trip and that's all I'll be able to think about so I might as well just give in and take some time to get things done. Plus the kids are off of school already so I can be home with them. I'm soooooo ready and just really looking forward to being in the sun and by the pool and on the beach! My body isn't really ready but at 50, who really cares? I have another beach trip in July for a softball tournament my daughter has...maybe I can try to get in shape before that one! It will be interesting to see how much I drink. On a mini-vacation last year I drank every day but only one or two drinks. That did not cause any long-term problems so hopefully it won't be a problem this time.

We're really looking forward to having the family time, with this being my son's last year in high school. He won't be too far away for college, but we are rounding that corner into the time when the kids become independent and no longer 'around' with us as much. It freaks me out a little when I think about it!

Stay strong everyone!

[actiongirl46]

Blue - I'm glad you made it too. Good job! Funny you bring up using AL to hide feeling "feelings" . . . that is exactly what I am learning I have been doing too. Some of my AF days have been difficult because of having to sit with anxiety or frustration, but I have learned that in the long run, drinking AL daily and slowly allowing my tolerance to increase was NOT WORKING for me at all. My short term sense of relief was not an answer. I don't have it figured out yet but I'm a lot farther than I was last fall.

Frances, I'm so excited for your well-deserved vacation!! I hear you about kids getting too close to leaving, as you know, I'm right behind you in that! Speaking of anxiety going up, I can feel it just talking about it. My body wouldn't be ready either but at 51 I'm starting to get over that too. I'd rather have my Girl Scout cookies!! And cheese!! And french fries!!

You have such a nice pattern going at home. It seems to be working really well for you and it is inspiring. I hope this vacation is everything you want it to be!

[blue1]

Thanks guys!

I'm so excited for you Frances...if I don't talk to you before your trip....safe travels and have lots of fun and enjoy your family time!!!

Yeah AG.....I'm a natural worrier anyway....I have to really focus on positive things on purpose.

I mailed off our application to this agency that might be able to fix our roof....pray for us! If they can't fix the roof...we are willing to move now....not that we want to....but we put this whole situation in the Lord's hands....so whatever He wants is fine by us.
Our oldest son that lives with us is already looking for an apartment. Which means we could get a smaller place....so.....we'll see.

Hope everybody is having a successful day!!!!

[blue1]

Hi guys! Just stopping pass to say hey!
Frances are you still on vacation?
How are things going AG....Stew?

Hope everybody is having a successful day!

[frances]

Hi Blue and everyone! I'm back from vacation. The weather was great, sunny and 80s except for one day and we had a nice, relaxing time by the pool and beach. I had a couple of drinks each day except the last day. There was one evening where we went out for a very nice dinner and I had too much - in total that evening, about 5 drinks. It was too much and I do regret it - it was the first time I have overdone it in more than two years. I didn't do anything awful, but I know I wasn't fully present and that bothers me. Looking back, it's such a waste. The dinner was lovely but I know I would have enjoyed it even more if I hadn't had too much to drink.

Came back Friday and didn't drink Friday or Saturday - after drinking daily for 5 days straight (Sun-Thurs) I did find myself thinking about it yesterday but I pushed the thoughts away. I plan to be back into my normal routine now.

I've missed checking in - I hope everyone has had a good week!

[frances]

I mailed off our application to this agency that might be able to fix our roof....pray for us! If they can't fix the roof...we are willing to move now....not that we want to....but we put this whole situation in the Lord's hands....so whatever He wants is fine by us.

Blue - any update on getting your roof fixed? I hope everything works out for the best for you and your family!

[frances]

Morning all - just checking in again to say hello - keeping 'regular' with my visits here helps to keep me on track!

I was a little worried that the vacation would trigger something in me but it didn't - I haven't had any additional thoughts of having alcohol since the weekend so things are back on track mentally - so glad about that!

[frances]

Good morning! Friday - yes! It was a long week at work but I had my vacation to think about and enjoy. There was only one negative there that I've already told you about. I was thinking about that this morning and I thought that with moderation, if you leave the door open like we do, overdoing it is just so much more likely to happen. It took more than two years for me, but it happened - I didn't like it and don't want it to happen again. I looked back on pictures from that evening and my memory of taking them is vague. I hate that. I am going to 'stew' on this a little and see how I feel over time.

[blue1]

Hi guys....GOOD JOB Frances!!! Glad you enjoyed your vacation!
This site hasn't been letting me login....hope this post goes through....

Hope everybody is having a successful day!!!

[actiongirl46]

Hi guys! I'm back from a wonderful trip . . . Frances, your last post hits home with me - yes, I'm thinking about this too. More later!

[frances]

Hi all - quick check-in. Good to see you AG and Blue! AG - where did you go? Sounds like you enjoyed it!

Everything's good here...in the swing of baseball and softball season - it's still early in the season so I'm not sick of it yet - I love watching my kids play :-)

[actiongirl46]

Hi - We went to San Francisco and Seattle. Family is in Seattle so that is more of a check-in with them. I loved San Fran!! So nice and we had great weather.

I did have one night with too much too Frances. You are so right, leaving the door open is risky. You've done so well though for so long! I am thinking about trying Naltraxone to see if I can get a better mental balance. I think I may need a jump start but I am so resistant. Ugh. I am not resistant to stopping the binge drinking (that is a no brainer) just the choice I guess. The few beers with friends. Thanks for letting me vent, lots to process.

Blue - how are you doing? Did the roof go on yet?

[blue1]

Hi - We went to San Francisco and Seattle. Family is in Seattle so that is more of a check-in with them. I loved San Fran!! So nice and we had great weather.

I did have one night with too much too Frances. You are so right, leaving the door open is risky. You've done so well though for so long! I am thinking about trying Naltraxone to see if I can get a better mental balance. I think I may need a jump start but I am so resistant. Ugh. I am not resistant to stopping the binge drinking (that is a no brainer) just the choice I guess. The few beers with friends. Thanks for letting me vent, lots to process.

Blue - how are you doing? Did the roof go on yet?

Hey guys!
Wow...all the travels...me and hubby are supposed to drive my mother in law and her sisters to visit their other sister in Cleveland soon...and we still haven't decided where we're going to drive for our Vow renewal/Anniversary yet.

No....AG haven't heard anything yet....

Hope everybody is having a successful Saturday!

[blue1]

OH....AND WE DIDN'T DRINK MONDAY....TUESDAY....OR WEDNESDAY!!!!

Haven't had that many AF days in a row in a longggggg....time!!!

[actiongirl46]

Woot woot Blue! Great job!!