Simply Sober October - Week 3

[Kaslo]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Stopping by to say Hi again. I havent been on the daily thread which used to be my usual hangout. I was feeling sort of bad about stuff cant put my finger on it. Or maybe I can but i dont wanna. Anyway, Rusty congrats on the EM career choice. I have worked as an ecotoxicologist for 33 years, on all kinds of effluents, from things like fertilizers to horrendously toxic substances, mostly in industrial settings. But often complicated, spills, fires, disasters, etc. From the arctic to dry southern grasslands. In plants soils and wildlife habitat. And some human health. Its been hugely rewarding and full of amazing interesting people. I found it much more friendly and rewarding than working on rare warblers and big horn sheep, which is something else that i did. So I hope you really enjoy it and that you are well taught. Its challenging but its really cool.

Blondie, I knew I was DONE when I quit. I could just tell. There was no door left open, or thoughts of continuing to drink, it was over. Like a bad romance.

Pap, how is the resume going?

[Lavande]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

I'm going to embroider something funky on LBH's pantaloons :H :H

I swear I absolutely do not have any more quits in me........
There is no such thing as moderation for me, honestly ~ therefore no AL & no smokes for me ever again. I am happy that I have accepted all that & don't have to worry about it anymore

On the very day I took my husband to the ER I have come to find out that his brother was in the very same ER after ingesting huge amounts of AL & Rx pain meds. He had just been released from another hospital the day before after having back surgery. When I say these two guys have issues I really mean they both have issues!!!! God help the pair of them

Wishing everyone a peaceful night.
Lav

[Lavande]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Cross post Kas
You can teach Rusty everything you know!!!

[papmom3]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Hey Kas-I hope you find a home here! I think I know what you mean.
I sent you an updated resume about a month ago but never heard back. Should I send it again? Rare warblers and long horn sheep huh? I think I would like that very very much. I used to dream about being a biologist and studying geese. This was when I was in my 20's, very unhappy with what I was doing and we were still in a cold war with Russia so I was constantly worrying about the button being pushed. Boy, did I drive myself crazy back then :H

Lav-so sorry to hear about YB's brother. Either he was in a ton of pain or he was trying to end it all. Either way he's got problems and I am SOOOO glad you do not have to be involved. One YB is enough I think. I am glad to hear YB is back home-I just hope you don't get a call in the middle of the nite. Sleep well sweet Lav!

Rusty-your new career path sounds just awesome!! I'm so glad a few doors have opened for you after the other one closed. Can't wait to hear more about it!!

Chill-so glad you had a great time in London and that you were validated. Must feel soooo good!! How are things with Mr. S?? Here's hoping your old car gives you many many more years. I have a jeep for sale if you're interested!!
LBH-a professional pond cleaning! Now that must be something to see! Too bad my pond is too small for it. Plus, where would Mr. Froggie sleep all winter if I get rid of the muck on the bottom? the fish too for that matter!!

Oh oh, ambien is kciking in. cna't see straight. bertter say goodbue and goodnite. I wasn't kidding1
!

[Kaslo]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

If you get a chance to read this Papy send it on.

[Chillgirl]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Good morning Sober Octoberers

Blondie - YOU ARE A WINNER!
Only it's even better than winning the lottery, nothing as far as I'm concerned is better than feeling good :banana:

Great to see Jenni & Kaslo here, hope you stay with us.

Rusty - I so admire you and anyone who gets involved in pollution prevention, what a wonderful worthy job to do, you rock!

Papmom - I know what you mean about not having another quit in us. If I ever imagine drinking again it's because I've totally given up on life and just want to drink to oblivion. I don't think I could live with the disappointment in myself after coming so far. Luckily it's not a consideration and even typing it fills me with horror. I'm far to curious as to where this sober journey will lead me.

You asked about Mr S, he is not an easy man, full of insecurities and carrying the pain of rejection from the past. He gets down quite often and becomes argumentative. He developed alopecia at 15, dropped out of school and didn't come out his bedroom for a year. His stupid ignorant parents never got him any help or gave any support. It was "not" talked about! Go figure! He has since had 2 wife's, both of who cheated on him. I honestly dont know if I can cope with the baggage having worked endlessly at getting rid of my own in the last few years. I'm not looking to have to fix someone else, so we will need to see how things develop. He is a wonderful, quiet kind man and I wouldn't want to hurt him but I strive every day to be happy and love life. If the two are not compatible I will not stay.

Wishing you all a Magnificant Tuesday!

[papmom3]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Morning dear ones!

Chill-I am so glad to hear you say that about Mr. S! You deserve to live life baggage free after all the decluttering you've done! I'm glad you are keeping your eyes wide open and putting yourself first.

Kas-will do.

Got to bed way too late and up way too early. Quilting tonite-hoping the frustration level is down a bit this week!

Enjoy the day!

[Lavande]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Good Tuesday morning one & all!
I sure could have used an extra hour or two of sleep myself but oh well.

Chill, let me be the first one to tell you - these difficult guys are soul suckers, emotional vampires if you will. Think of yourself & all the work you have done. Mr S is not going to change anytime soon just like YB - they choose to not change - end of story

I need to focus on work this morning, daughter & Ms Lily coming for the afternoon, yay!!!

I hope everyone has a terrific AF Tuesday!
Lav

[ladybirdheart]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Good Morning. Haven't had much sleep in the past couple of nights, not sure why, but I guess I need to be awake as I don't feel particularly tired now. Off to the gym and then onward with what comes my way. I am sorry Mr. S might not be a keeper, Chill, better to understand that early on I suppose but still hard. I used to frequently have wounded or needy people in my life, I don't know if I thought I could rescue them or if they were less threatening in light of my own areas of damage. I also used to drink after carrying around that baggage all day, it is easy to mix up whose is whose. Later and love, Ladybird.

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Hi Abbers! Hey, now that I'm getting caught up...where's Sunshine from Canada? With the horse and farm? Miss her! Didn't see any recent posts...

Can't tell you how good it feels to be back on track. This feels like home.

Pap, you crack me up: "We are here to support you and I swear to god, if you disappear again I will personally come up to the North Shore and hunt you down"...Ok Ok...I'm sticking around...lol. Seriously, would love to get together for a lunch sometime. Next week I will be away but maybe sometime before the holidays? Let's PM.

You know...I don't think I have another quit left in me. I just can't stand waking up hungover and the feeling of bad health and what I am doing to my body and soul. I don't even like getting drunk...I am onto the 3rd and 4th glass of wine in 5 minutes flat of drinking it. I don't sip, I gulp. Then I am a vegetable for the rest of the night. Or argumentative or just plain stupid. Done with all of that.

Ok, I have to be honest and please everyone do not roll your eyes on me because I need your support. Hubs and I are taking vacation starting Monday, the 22nd. Going on a short cruise to the Bahamas from Miami. Flying out monday morning first thing. Now, I went on a cruise to Bermuda in June...from Boston. Was great, except that I drank...but not too much. But enough. This time, I am so early in my sobriety that I am scared. This is only day 2. To prepare myself, I am mentally playing through each of the 5 day cruise without booze. I know I can do it. I am going to plan our shore excursions to focus on activity instead of drinking. I will try to get us to an early dinner so that I am not tempted by AL beforehand. I will be happy that I won't be pouring money on cruise drinks which are way over the top marked up to begin with. My plan is to just relax on the beach or by the pool. Work out in the ship's fitness center in the morning and then do laps around the walkway, listening to some peaceful music on my headset. Maybe even splurge for a massage since I won't spend money on booze. Hubs is another issue...he will drink. For sure. But maybe less if I don't. Any other suggestions from those of you who have been on these trips before? I know Lave, you are not a fan of them and this will be the last one for me for a while. I am kind of regretting that we booked it long ago and opted to rent a quaint cottage up the coast of Maine instead but I know it will be fun once we get there. Plus I hate flying...

Ok, that's my novel. I guess I picked a bad time to get sober in lieu of an upcoming vacation like this but on the positive side, I kind of want to get through it sober so I can prove it to myself that I can. Then the holidays might be easier for me to get through this year. That's what did me in last year as well...Thankgiving, Christmas, New Year's.

Sorry for the long post but I wanted to get everyone up to speed so you know where I am coming from. Make it a lovely day...going for a walk with the dog around a resevoir. It's a glorious morning.

Peace out,

Blondie (PS...BAFA is cool too)

[Stargazerlily]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Good morning to all...

Blonde, good to have you back, have been there myself, but the good thing is you have the tools and know how. I too am going on a trip and no matter what type of trip,there is booze. Heck, its at the store, gas station. I focus on feeling good, activities, (hungover, inactivity is the rule) and early mornings. You are so right, the gulping and immediate numbness just no longer works. We are all idiots with impairment when drinking. I like myself, laugh alot, and just have a better, REAL, time than when drinking. I am going to focus on lots of pictures, meditate, and exercise. I bet that is what you will do too. We missed you, you are a lively personality. So happy we were here when you came back.

Kas, love to see you on this thread, followed you on the other thread as I related to your story and continued journey. Keep on posting, you add so much with your insight and experience.

Lav, glad you have your life back. You deserve it.

Chill, relationships are just plain work. We all have issues, I guess with me it is that the love is so strong. Lots of forgiveness both ways on a daily basis, and an ability to move on. For instance, today my son locked himself out of his car with the it running, and since stressed, we started snipping at each other, but then just let it go. Also, we are not home all day or we would probably kill each other. Please let me know your thoughts on this, as I sometimes wonder what makes or breaks relationships. I know you will find a job soon, it just takes time in this economy.

Dill, hello to you, that internet better get better.

LBH, you house and grounds sound so lovely, you sound as if you are feeling better. I think that over time, we train ourselves to drink for so many reasons, and after a time of being AF, we are able to retrain ourselves with constant self-reflection and a good sound plan.

OK all, off to work. Have a great day.

[Chillgirl]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Blondie - I understand your concerns about your trip but believe me, there is NEVER a right time to quit other than right NOW. There is always one more party or one more birthday. A cruise is a big hurdle this early on but I know you can do it and just how proud and amazing will you feel when you do! Focus on the goal of coming home AF and the massive boost this will give to your determination. I hope hubby supports you and won't try to tempt you to join him.

Thanks guys for the responses re Mr Suffolk. Lav, I fear you are probably right but I'm willing to be proved wrong. LBH, I have never had a "needy" partner before and sure as hell see why! I'm not a sympathetic enough person to cope with having to constantly reassure someone, I just don't have the patience. I'm also way to independent to want someone leaning on me constantly. Star, I agree with you about when the love is strong you can endure most things, but this is something that has to develop over time and in the early stages pointless disagreements only lessen the likelihood of these feelings truly deepening. Relationships with offsprings and siblings are different and like your incident with your Son, I could snipe all day with my Sister but would then fight with all my heart to defend her or protect her.

I'm sure im not faultless here (as much as I like to think I am :H). Having been on my own for 4 years I have become very set in my ways and Starty and I were discussing this at the weekend. We agreed that sobriety changes you so much, you really find out who you are and have to be true to that self. In the passed when things went wrong I'd deal with it by having a drink and pretending it would go away. Being sober makes you self examine as well as seeing others in a different light and being is such control of my life makes me hell bent at staying in control. This I'm sure makes me difficult to live with and as I set such a high standard for myself I expect too much from others. However this works out I'm incredibly grateful for the experience as I'm learning a ton from it.

[Kaslo]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Thank you Star, for the welcome. This thread is awesome, always has been. The support and kindness you show each other is wonderful. Chill I dont know you very well, but I sympathise with your situation. I dont know what it is about men with issues, that we take them on like a project, and then eventually the project goes off the rails on us. Sometimes it takes years. Everyone is different. But shy quiet men, hmmm. I married one. He is no longer shy with me, after 28 years he doesnt hesitate to tell me when he thinks I am full of &^% . He can be very cruel when he wants to be. But he is still very introspective and quiet, and I am therefore alone a lot of the time. He has his good points. Let me see.......

:sofa:

Blondie, I have heard non-drinkers say a cruise w/o booze is not impossible, but you do have to plan to avoid it, because its pushed all the time. I bet you will have a lovely, much needed diversion. I imagine I could do all those activities with a diagonal red line through the glass in my hand.

I have to write about some really horrendous human health issue this morning, its looming over my head. better get on it.

Fair days and breezes to everyone.
k

[BlondeAFAmbition]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Good evening everyone on week 3 of this beautiful month!

Chill, Star, Kaslo and Turn from the Oct. 16th thread, thank you all for your words of encouragement. You are right, Chill, I will be proud to accomplish a sober cruise and it will only strenthen my resolve of quitting! I really appreciate the support and warm welcomes back to the MWO abberoonies!

Today I met with success...long walk in the woods with beautiful foliage, a lake and hubby and dog. Weather was perfect fall day. Then home for lunch, which I usually go light on...only to leave myself suceptible to getting hungrier later in the afternoon which triggers cravings for you know what. But I know my triggers and filled up on a high protein lunch...finished by a sugar free hot cocoa as a treat . Then we went to do some errands...groceries, etc. Stocked up on my favorite selzter...new flavor out...vanilla pear, whoohooo! It's actually pretty good. Went to work out for a while while hubs went fishing (he is on vacation this week and next...me just next, but I had the day off from work). Also stocked up on some boxes of tea. Sleepytime comes in a new flavor too...PEACH . Just had some.

Well, off to take a bath, do some reading and relax under the blankets with my 2 cats and dog. Hubs will be watching the debate and although this may sound unpatriotic to me, I really don't have an interest tonight. Would rather read and relax.

Loving my sober evening...by this time, I would be in the bag right now and not even able to type straight. Yikes. This is so much better!

Hope you all have a lovely evening!:l I have an early start tomorrow morning but I'll be sure to post at least in the evening if not before.

:thanks:

[SAUSAGE]

Simply Sober October - Week 3

Hi everyone

Good to "see" you back Blondie - I remember you well from the early days of this quit back in Feb when I really felt like drinking and you posted me a picture of a gluten free cake and it stopped me!!

I don't normally post on this thread but I can't sleep right now so I went on my I pad and saw your comments about your concern over your forthcoming AF trip. Although I've never been on a a cruise I understand exactly where you are coming from because I broke one of my early stretches of sobriety (in 2009) after drinking on holiday when I'd got about 57 AF days under my belt. Since then I've had some successful AF trips so I thought I'd offer one or two thoughts....

Will you have Internet access? If so you can regularly log on here and that will help. You sound like you are planning things mentally in advance / developing a strategy which is good.

If you wont have Internet access then write out or print off some key posts / notes from here to motivate you ie to to look at if you struggle - how awful you feel if you drink ( be graphic about hangovers etc,) also list motivational things from the tool box etc.

Do you have the Jason Vale book or similar you can take with you?

I imagine alcoholic drinks are very costly on cruises so why not keep a tally of what you would have spent if you had been drinking at your usual levels and then save that money aside as a reward for something youd like or even towards another trip on your return. I bought myself a decent watch to celebrate 100 AF days and it's cost was only a small drop in the ocean to what I would have spent if I'd been drinking daily during that time.

Keep posting if you can, I find when I drift away from this site ( which I have been lately) I start developing drinking thoughts which is why I am making more of an effort to post again.