April Achievers!

[papmom3]

April Achievers!

Impart a way P1. Just a little history: I was at my other job for 5 years. Had only meant to stay 2 but then the economy tanked and with it my house value. Still underwater. My former boss and the boss before him at another job were both egotistical power hunger mean people although take them out of work context and they are pretty fascinating. My last former boss was also a horrid micromanager. I'm beginning to think all supervisors are and I don't want to be that person. I liked my former job even with all the abuse I got until about 3 years ago. Kind of the same time as I stopped drinking but it was just a coincidence. My job got boring and rote and I started looking for other positions. I went through 2.5 years of job search hell. Came close a number of times but nothing worked out. Got denied a promotion which was the last straw. I'm beginning to think maybe Im the one with the problem as I don't stay happy no matter where I am after a few years. I can't tell you how many promotions I have been denied over the last 30 years so it must be me. I don't really have a passion for anything career related anymore. Haven't for about 10 years. I have so many other things in my life I'd much rather be doing and if I could figure out how to support myself working part time at my demo job I would do just that. I would kill to walk away from my house and debts if I could find an apartment that would take 5 animals. I don't have the time or money to keep this house up anymore and I don't see my salary going up significantly. I guess that is way I'm so pissed at myself for screwing up the one opportunity I had to make enough where I could start saving a teeny bit. I'm too young to retire (12 more years to go to get my 80%) but I'm old enough to realize I was freaking lucky to get hired at this new position considering my age. Still would like to hear what you have to say tho.
How did your doctor's apt go on Thursday? Any good news?

I have spent most of the day fighting the credit union where I have my car loan. For the 2nd time in a year they've contacted me to say they haven't received my payment, yet I'm looking right at the bank withdrawal. After about 2 hours on the phone with them, it turns out the account number my bank had had 2 numbers transposed!! Not really sure whose fault that is. Probably mine. It always is these days. The money was going to someone else's account but not every month. Spent another 2 hours on the phone with my bank trying to sort everything out. I think it's all set now but there goes my day off. I decided to sit down and do some sewing which got out some frustration. LM now has 2 brandy new belly bands that match his fur color. Styling!! Was going to my nephews' hockey game against the Bruins but just didn't have the energy to shower and change so I begged off. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day and I'll be way more productive. Kitty is also not eating today so that's another worry. I'm trying to accept it all for what it is and not make myself crazy trying all different things with him. I've already decided no more fluids. It's too stressful for him and me. I do think he is still drinking quite a bit so I guess that's an OK decision. I can't get more than 5 or 10 mls in him anyway so it's just not worth it.
I think I'll just go back to bed and watch a marathon of American Pickers.

[Rusty]

April Achievers!

Good Afternoon, Friends,

Perse-sorry you're not feeling well. I hate it when my internet doesn't work...it makes me feel so isolated.

Pap:l:lNot ALL supervisors are micromanagers. I know, because I was one, for many years and I got good feedback from my team on my management style. Too bad I can't remember what "style" that was!:H I've had some great supervisors, and some horrible ones. I know what it's like to be embarrassed, and ticked about the mistakes you've made at work. I was FIRED several times when I was in my 20s and early 30s, and although I don't offer that information to people who don't know me, I feel comfortable sharing that highly personal information here. I WAS the problem. I was so insecure.... way too sensitive to criticism, took everything too personally, and was overwhelmed with anxiety. I really became a much better employee once I became a boss because I realized that my actions were a reflection on my supervisor...and any screw-up might make him/her take heat for my actions. I got some really good advice from my uncle, who was the CEO of a public utility,: "Always make your boss look good." It's hard to do when you can't stand your supervisor, believe me. I have followed that advice and it's worked for me. You mentioned that you have been passed over for every promotion for the last 30 years. Was tardiness something that you have been very casual about in the past? I'm not asking you to respond, it's just that in the last 15 years of my life....with this career....I've been probably been in close to 300 companies as a consultant, trainer, and auditor, and lateness and absenteeism are showstoppers when it comes to a promotion at any level, from the hourly shop floor operator to engineers and salespeople. With this new job, now at least you got feedback as to why you didn't get a raise...now you know what to fix. A few times when I was terminated, I didn't know what I did wrong, and it was just the worst feeling. [/B] I think with this supervisor, you might try and stay one step ahead of her, and think like SHE would think. For example, now you know she may be calling you before she gets there in the a.m., so rather than wait for a phone call from her at 8:03 a.m. to see if you've arrived, why not send her an email/text about some innocuous work-related item at 7:40 a.m. when you get in? Then she'll know you were early. Just my thoughts:l

Lav, how was your day yesterday? Inquiring minds want to know.

Happy Saturday to LBH, Dill, Star, Cyn, BHOG and anyone else who drops by!

[papmom3]

April Achievers!

Hi my dear Rusty. Thank you sooooo much for your feedback. You know how much I admire you and I take everything you say to me to heart. thank you also for telling us how your early career went. I have only been fired once in my life and it was extremely traumatic. But, i was still on probation and they decided not to hire me permanently so I was let go. I totally understood too-I was a bank teller who couldn't balance her drawer! I later found out the teller next to me who was "helping" me balance it, was helping herself to my cash and was later arrested for embezzlement. Stil, I was a pretty horrible teller. I think you might be on to something although early in my career I was never late because I ran the show. You are right-I was a much better employee when I was a supervisor. I was also young, passionate about the career I was in and given a lot of latitude to do things my way and to make mistakes without feeling like I was a POS for doing so. Unfortunately it was a VERY stressful field, especially for a single woman and I burnt out after 20 years. I was only 42 when I switched to another "career" in higher ed. although I was pretty good at it, it all went down hill as I was all of a sudden low man on the totem pole.
Your idea of emailing her when I get in might just work. How else is she going to feel confident that I am in on time every single day unless she comes in at the same time? I know she probably has a spy in the office and probably asks her what time I come in (this woman is in by 7:30 almost every morning-it would be hard to beat her and she is admin too, not even professional staff!). I could offer to purchase a date stamper and stamp a piece of paper every morning and leave it on her desk .
All of this is great food for thought and I know I will get something from it that will help me enjoy the rest of my time in the working world. Thank you.

[Rusty]

April Achievers!

Awww.....Paaaapppp.....:l:h I am SOOOOOO glad you are not p.o'd at me. I agonized about whether I should bring the subject up again since I knew you were still smarting over the not-getting-the-raise situation. And yet, if you are anything like I was for YEARS AND YEARS (and still am to a certain extent) I used to be in hell over the weekend, just anticipating what Monday morning would be like when I went to work...wondering whether the boss was mad at me about something or wondering if I would still have a job.:upset: You bet your boss has a spy...the admin. So....you will be outsmarting two potentially sneaky/self-serving people if you keep a step ahead of them WITHOUT THEM KNOWING (this is the key...see... they may not know that you are that smart, but alas, you shall prove them wrong. Hahah). As far as your boss's hours of 9:00 a.m. to whenever....well, she's the boss, and she can, so she does. Not your worry, right?

I could offer to purchase a date stamper and stamp a piece of paper every morning and leave it on her desk

:H:H Love it!!!

I'm with LBH....you CAN turn this situation around. I think our Ladybird was spot on when she said that with regard to being to "chummy" with the staff, maybe your supervisor was trying to protect you from the situation LBH was in....imagine how awful that would be if it happened to you??

Regarding the burn out....you were so happy when you started your exercise program and I am pleading with you to keep up with it. A physical outlet is ALWAYS good. I'm glad you had time to do a bit of sewing today. Stay close, friend. We're all here for you. :-)

[Rusty]

April Achievers!

Newsflash

The sun just came out here! Are we all frickin' sick of winter.....where the hell is spring? Nah....let's just fast forward to summer!!!

Star-I think you're getting back tomorrow. I hope you've had a week of sunshine and relaxation. you've earned it! I know you suffer from SAD. Coming back today surely won't help that!:H

[Lavande]

April Achievers!

It actually hit 90 degrees here on Wednesday & it was too HOT for me!
Seasonal temps are back after a bit of rain, thank goodness.

Sorry if this grosses anyone out but.....
I got word that my brother's foot was amputated today
He had a bypass graft done in that leg last year in an attempt to restore circulation but it failed. He developed gangrene. So sad! I am so sorry they have started this cutting process because it will never end. I've seen far too many patients in his condition go through this, very sad.
The only good thing is that this has prompted my nephew to go visit his parents. They have not seen each other since my son's wedding in Sept 06. My bitchy niece (his twin sister) is in Germany & I know she won't go see her parents. Long story with that group & there is nothing I can do.

I cleaned out part of the chicken house today, hope to finish it up tomorrow. Those girls make a freaking mess in there over the course of the winter :H

papmom, Rusty & everyone I hope you have a restful night!

[Rusty]

April Achievers!

Lav, so sorry to hear about your brother's foot having to be amputated.:upset: I feel even worse that his daughter won't go see him. A dysfunctional family tree that keeps on giving, huh? I'm glad you have a good relationship with your kids.

Ah, you can sleep tonight with the thought of clean chickens dancing in your head. A coop free of poop, ole!!:H

Well, I'm studying AGAIN, friends!!! Do you remember how I took that environmental management course in October? Well, my biggest consulting client wants me to train one of his employees on this environmental management standard this Thursday and Friday. Yikes!! So, tomorrow is a work day. I'll be putting together ANOTHER training manual, and Monday morning, early, I have fly to Detroit. No days off next week so I better be focused.

I'll see you all in the morning. Sleep well, everyone.

Big hellos to Chill, Sooty, Rustop, and TDN! I hope you are well.:l

[Rusty]

April Achievers!

Good Morning!!!!!

Sunday a.m. and I am awake at 4:30....so just want to pop in here and say I hope everyone here has a lovely, AF Sunday.

Dill-I just love your new signature line....I've been meaning to tell you for months and I keep forgetting. I also thought when you and Mr. D. were in NO....and you saw the drunk person sitting on the porch, and you said, "how ya doing?" and he was just really out of it. Yesterday, I was at the grocery store and I was at the checkout and there was a man ahead of me, looking like he hadn't showered or shaved in days, and his only purchase was a GIANT jug of cheap vodka.:upset: The cashier asked him how he was doing and he replied softly, "just fine." But then he turned around and looked at me and his head just sunk down in shame. I so wanted to put my hand on his arm and say, "it so does not have to be this way." Anyway, just thought I'd share. You know, a few years ago, something like that would not have bothered me....now I just feel empathy and sadness.

Pap-I hope you have a restful day. Enjoy your day off with furkids or whatever else you choose.

LBH-I'm dying to hear of your maiden voyage up the hill to the co-op pushing your new bionic shopping cart. Do you have appropriate apparel for such an occasion? Please, no tree bark and fig leaf mini-skirts...the neighbors would be jealous!:H

Lav-I hope you get to spend the day to yourself and your chicks, and have some "me" time. Also, sending positive vibes for Will's continued recovery.

BHOG-where are you? Really, this is NOT a "ladies only" thread.

Ok, wonderful friends, my coffee is kicking in and I better hit the books. Big hellos to people here that I miss: Chill, TDN, Rustop, Sooty, Cyn...have a swell AF Sunday!

[Stargazerlily]

April Achievers!

Good morning all...

I had a lot of reading to do to catch up on all the posts. Glad everyone is well and things are moving along.

My trip was a mixed bag...a bacterial infection hit me and I had to see a doctor on Friday, so now on a course of meds and made it home safely. The resort was gorgeous, perfect weather, lots of swimming, tons of food, but the stomach issues (they also affected my husband to a degree) were a downer. On the other hand, it made both of us so happy to be home, we were looking forward to our home, pets, and even cooler weather. Today is supposed to be in the 70s and sunny, so I will open the house while cleaning later today. I will never go to Mexico again, by the way.

Lav, Will is so lucky to have you taking care of him, I know he will get better, it will just take time and work. My goodness. I was thinking about YB, and it is my opinion that psychotropic meds (Celexa) can help, but they are not magical. Lots of therapy and hard work are needed to effect change, and in our pill happy world, we are told that pills will do it all. I like the way you stopped his negativity, a huge indicator of someone who will continiue to be depressed and lousy to be around. You are positive, loving and realize that attitude is a choice. Thanks for the pm. I tried to leave a post the morning I left, but it disappeared and I had no time. It was a masterpiece too

Dill, another good book I bought at the airport, and loved. Caleb's Crossing, by Geraldine Brooks. She also wrote another one I loved, People of the Book. I know they are at the library, so if you are interested, check them out. I had heard Caleb's Crossing reviewed on NPR a while back, so was so excited to see it out. I always treat myself to a new book when I travel.

Rusty, you have really got it going on...good to hear it. To grow professionally and to be asked to do new things is so refreshing, and complimentary. Hope you make lots of money too!

Pap, you can make this job work, loved the suggestions given by Rusty, Lav, and LBH and your ability to humble yourself and take it all in. None of us like to be criticized, it hurts. Especially when we are doing our best. I think office interactions are sometimes the hardest part of a job. My daughter has a job of a few months and recently told me that alot of the employees are negative and nasty, for no reason, and she is sick of it. I felt badly to hear of it, but know that is the way it goes. Professionally, punctuality is really important. I don't think it is fair that people with kids get away with being late, I have never experienced that thank goodness. Speaking of debts and budgets, I too need to really simplify due to various circumstances, so lets make it fun, OK? I am going to start to get rid of clutter and do a garage sale...no purchasing anything new, no going out for a time and lots of taking stock of what I have. Let me know what you think.

Hello to LBH, Cyn, Persephone, BHog, and all. Have a great day.

[Lavande]

April Achievers!

Greetings friends!

Chilly but sunny this morning, that's OK.
Just trying to grab some quiet time before the day really gets going

Wishing everyone a wonderful AF Sunday!
Don't forget to smell the flowers this week Rusty - you hard working woman :H

Lav

[Lavande]

April Achievers!

Cross post Star!!!!
Sorry to hear you had to deal with what sounds like Montezuma's revenge
My brother had it once on a trip to Mexico & I'm sure he's never gone back.

[Rusty]

April Achievers!

I'm Baaackkkk....Bored Already With Studying ;-)

Star::l-welcome back!!! I missed your posts. I feel so badly about you getting sick on your trip to Mexico. I was worried about that but didn't want to tell you.:upset: I've had to go to Mexico several times for business, and every single time, even with not drinking the water, no fresh vegetables....blah, blah, blah.....I got sick!! NEVER going back. I'm glad the weather was warm and you had a chance to swim, get some sun. I vaguely remember what the sun looks like.:H Thank you for your sweet words about my new opportunity. I'm nervous because it's a totally new subject for me, but I will do it. Remaining AF has to be part of the picture.

Lots of therapy and hard work are needed to effect change

Amen to those words, Star. You're supposed to get temps in the 70s, today? Wow, are you lucky.

Lav-I would take time to smell the flowers if I could SEE any.:H I suppose I could go sniff the snowflakes on my deck but it would destroy my chipper mood. I have a question for you, though. Do you think if YB had been a kind, supportive, attentive husband that your drinking would have escalated to the point that it did? I'm asking because I feel so badly for my aunt, who will be sober 5 years in July, and her husband just treated her so horribly....and I just feel that if he had been a kinder person, she wouldn't have tried to drown her low self-esteem in vodka. I would appreciate your thoughts. Like Star, I admire how you have put boundaries on his negativity. I don't think I would have had the strength to do that.

All right....I'm serious this time. Time to go back to this manual. It's about as interesting as dryer lint.:H

[Lavande]

April Achievers!

just fake it Rusty - not every subject is going to interest everyone

I've always taken full blame for 'my drinking' but honestly, there never should have been a reason for me to get into any drinking at all. I was always a social drinker even though we had little to no social life. He is the one who packed away a case of beer each week in addition to anything he had elsewhere. His refusal to go celebrate our 25th anni 15 years ago is what pushed me into the wine bottle. I spent 3 yeras planning that special trip for us, saved the money for it - all he had to do was go - and he refused. I know I should have kicked him to thecub that very damn day & saved myself a whole lot of grief. I look back now & see that my self-esteem had taken a huge hit that day so I began to drown my sorrow & drink AT him. Screw that......but I think it's something I just had to go thru to get to where I am now. Hmmm!

[dill]

April Achievers!

So Sorry for my absence here these past few days. The virtual world has just been too hectic for me to have much time to myself. I just finished reading and catching up with everyone's posts. Lots of good suggestions for Pap's situation. I think my work situation is just too different for me to relate. I'm not in a competitive situation being a certified educator and licensed therapist. I never wanted to advance to an administrative level because I like being a therapist. I try to keep a distance from my supervisor because she is annoying and a micromanager. She treats all of us as if we are first year clinic students!

Star, sorry your trip was a bit of a disappointment. Thanks for the book tip. I want you to know I ended up liking the Pavilion of Women so much that I recommend it to all my reading friends.

Rusty, I know what you mean about wanting to reach out to the man you saw at the grocery. There but for the grace of God...

Lav, LBH, Papmom, Pers, everyone, have a calm AF evening.

[Stargazerlily]

April Achievers!

Good morning all...

Checking in on this busy Monday morning and feeling better and better.

Rusty, wow, your comments on Mexico made me feel better because I am asked questions as if it were my fault. Obviously not, it is just something in the water or food or something. Yuck. But a beautiful country. Sorry your manual writing is as exciting as doing laundry.

Lav, YB sounds plain mean and I could see where indespair drinking became your defense. However, we like you the way you are now!!

Dill, I wonder if we should explore some more Pearl Buck books? I won't have time till this weekend.

To all, have a great day.