14th April

[porqoui]

Re: 14th April

MAE ALL...

Lav...you crack me up...the frog croaked, literally...sorry I know it's not funny and I hope the boys weren't too upset. I'm glad YB stayed civil and I think pointing out the "it could be worse" scenarios is a good idea. I think a trip to Longwood is a good idea.

Mick...only you would get a bag of dandelions. LOL The pond you put in 3 years ago looks great. Can't wait to see what you come up with now. I hope you're not serious about a water diet. At least make sure there's some nutrients in it. Yes, we got the promised temp, it was like a summer day. Tomorrow however it's supposed to rain all day which is better than the snowfall warning in Banff just west of me.

TG... Spent a long day on the land yesterday and what went through my mind was Little House on the Prairie. LOL So did you get to truck #3?

Pauly...I totally agree, will stick with our elections over yours any day. Maybe carrot head will get impeached before the 2020 election and your guy could move in sooner. It was left over French Onion soup for my dinner tonight. Son was at the dentist for 2 hours so only had to feed myself.

Looking forward to these 4 days off regardless of what the weather does. May even tackle my taxes. Have a good night all....:smile:PPQP

[Lavande]

Re: 14th April

Good evening friends,

We did have a nice day ahead of the coming storm system for tomorrow.
I'm wanting to spend time outside working on some neglected garden beds BUT that stupid redness & itching on my neck has reappeared. Same damn thing I had last April that went on all summer long. Crap, I don't want to have to spend another summer hiding inside. I think this is proof positive that sunlight & my statin drug do not mix. I'll stop taking the statin & see if it clears up. The doc didn't want me to restart it anyway, I insisted. Damned if you do damned if you don't, right?

Mick, the pond pic was nice. We had one at our old house & had fish, I miss that.
I'll see if we can get to Longwood next week after the holiday crowds are gone.

Cyn, you sure must have had a lot of storm damage to fill up two trucks, geez. We have a designated burn area for all that so we just pile stuff up & when the pile gets big enough throw a match on & poof, it's gone. My son brings stuff over from his place from time to time too. Sounds like you are on top of things, good for you

Pauly, our election process has turned into such a sh*tshow, it's not even funny. I keep thinking about people my parent's age & what they would have thought about all this nonsense. The Russian interference apparently was more substantial that previously thought

PQ, the older grandson was here last night for the animal pick up. He said the frog belonged to the younger guy anyway, haha! I don't think anyone was upset. I felt a little bad but it didn't keep me awake or anything. Somehow I just can't get too attached to reptiles, ugh.
I hope you have a wonderful 4 days off, nice!!

Hello to Det, PIe, Sam & SK.

Have a nice night everyone.
Lav

[Determinator]

Re: 14th April

whew, getting mighty hot in Vegas these days.

Treegirl playing with trees. makes sense to me. sorry you lost a couple.

Lav, I bid you strength playing nurse for YB, hope he knows he's lucky to have you. speaking of carrying glass... that's what I'm
doing tomorrow morn before work. it's a request from my boss to pick up a 7x5 foot glass table top and I only have one helper....
if it's too iffy I won't do it.

work is great, social life is great, gym is great. Good grief I sound so sappy ;P

Narilly great to see you on the thread, any fun things going on?

Mick, fasting is a great healthy thing, good idea too.

PPQ, I haven't even visited my etsy site in ages as I've been so busy but I'm sure it's ok.

Photoshoot with my cousin yesterday was a hoot! and a hit.... got some downright 'magazine cover' glamour shots.
is it ok to post pics of other people here? hmmmmm. I'd redact the eyes but that's so critical in these kinds of compositions.
hmmm. dunno. At any rate my technique is improving and it was super fun helping her pose and model.

not sure why I made hot soup for dinner. I'm sweating profusely now. time to step out on the porch.

Pauly, the heat doesn't make you wilt like me and I'm jealous!

well, early morn so time to wind down.

be well loves

[Mick]

Re: 14th April

hiya alll happy good friday ...the sun is cracking the flags here its 12 midday and 21degrees ..Im orf to get some stone for the garden...water diet yestrday went ok ,on to "normal" today ..does you good every now n again ..will do another couple of days next week.

ppqp...as we speak dandelions spread all over the greenhouse floor ..drying out as forage

Lav ,yesI miss having a pond too ,but these 2 rabbits are a risk Im not prepared to take ..I will come up with somethin

hiya det ...you doing good??glamour shots eh?nowt sappy about enjoying life mate

hiya tg ...you good ? hope so take it easy .

hiya pauly ...nope no drunksville for you this year girl. ..you stay with the sober gang of whichyou are a member ..

happy easter to everyone else x

Said to my mate, ”I bet the Chinese will be up in their planes today."

He said, “Why’s that?

I pulled the corner of my eyes back and in an exaggerated Chinese accent said, “Because it GOOD FLY DAY, innit.”

He said, “Very good mate. But maybe not here in the takeaway.” His eyes nodded towards an angry looking chef, advancing with a meat cleaver ...

My Thai wife is a considerate woman. Find she always leaves the toilet seat up for me afterwards.

Just heard they are opening a nando's especially for OAPs... it's going to be called Grando's

i popped out of the time machine in May of 2045, very eager to see what was going on in the future. Even I couldn't believe though what was written on the front page of the newspaper...

"Brexit delayed again 7 more months" !!

A wizard goes to the doctor. “Doc, I keep getting light headed when I do magic?”

“Don’t worry.” Said the Doctor. “They're only dizzy spells.”

There's a royal reception for the government at Windsor, and Prince Charles gets a bit drunk and starts coming on hard to Diane Abbott.

Diane Abbott is flattered with the attention, but she says, "I'm still surprised you'd even be interested in someone as absolutely hideous as me !"

"Even you manage to look like a supermodel though next to Camilla."

[treegirl]

Re: 14th April

Mae all -

Mick, in a week or so I will be able to send you a boatload of dandelions!! We have a well system here, so there's no using chemicals to keep them down... it will be quite a show. I've asked the lawn guy to come every week this year to try to keep their tops lopped off so we don't look like a dandelion farm. PS, loved the phrase "cracking the flags"... perfect description.

PPQ, ha, I say "working the land" because most of our 3.5 acres is forest, with the edges lined with horrible raspberries, 2 feet of blown-in leaves, invasive bittersweet, invasive garlic mustard, and poison ivy. Oh, and throw in handfuls of disease-carrying ticks and you've got the picture. Actually, I have resurrected a huge rock garden, and am in the process of mulching it. Also using up a pile of wood chips (lying on the grounds for 3 years now) to mulch other areas, including a raised-bed garden area that was shoulder-high weeds until recently. Yep, my over-busy schedule the last 3 years, and my tight-fisted DIY tendencies have taken their toll... but I am wrangling this place into shape finally, and it feels good. When I'm not distraught over the near-hopelessness of "woman against nature"! enjoy your days off ---

Lav, oh no not the rash! Good luck with that... I hope it is resolved. Your Longwood plans sound good - any family meals this weekend?

Pauly, what's cooking? I hope you have a good day off... any egg-coloring in your future?

Det, good luck with the glass.

Hello to Nar, Sam, Pi and the mystery SK.

Wishing all well on this Good Friday.

[paulywogg]

Re: 14th April

Mae everybody,Cyn well dye eggs tomorrow night,Lou will probably get bored with it fast anyways haha,Lav,ugh that rash,hope it goes away once you stop the meds, interesting how that report was all blacked out in spots,that should be illegal I'm sorry but if there's nothing to hide then why black it out? PQ,he won't get impeached he's the new Teflon Don Det,you sound great,yup I loooove the heat! Mick,I'm sure you'll come up with something awesome for the yard,much love to all and wishes for a great BF Friday!!!

[Samstone]

Re: 14th April

morning all,
shingles seem to be subsiding, pollen attack now! first time I've ever had to take a antihistamine! I know... bitch , bitch, bitch. Baby calf back with mom but I'm afraid mom lost some of her milk capacity by the time they both figure it out. They're but so many times a cow is going to go in that chute too be milked out. So I sill give it a bottle a day.

sounds like possible severe storms coming our way, you ready, Lav?
Pauly, the redacted word never existed till to years ago. Don the Con will eventually get caught, once out of office. His party of enablers have no courage to do the right thing because politics is all about staying power. I could rant on, but what would it achieve??? higher blood pressure!

hope everyone enjoys their day

[paulywogg]

Re: 14th April

For realz Sam,I've tried just blocking out all this political crap cuz I work myself up to much and how much can Paulys ranting and raving help? None! Haha glad the shingles have moved on, allergies suck but at least they're somewhat tolerable (most of the time)

[Lavande]

Re: 14th April

Greetings Abbers,

I think I'm set for whatever Mother Nature throws at us tonight, geez. We've had a few heavy showers move thru so far but not a big deal. I would sure hate to see people dealing with no power over the holiday weekend.
I have been too distracted to actually make any holiday meal plans so......we'll just eat whatever.

Mick, glad someone had nice weather today!!
Back at the house where we had the small pond we also had a built in swimming pool. Sadly I scooped out a lot of wildlife in the mornings that couldn't swim including chipmunks, field mice & the occasional bunny. I'm almost afraid of attracting more wildlife around here having a large open watering space.

Det, hope you do OK with that glass, geez.
Glad everything is going well for you now

Cyn, you are working like a mad woman, LOL.
I'm leaving dandelions for the bees & other pollinators until the flowers start blooming. At least that's my excuse, haha! I bet your place is looking awesome.

Pauly, I hope the kids are feeling good for the holiday weekend. Allergies are always going to be with us I'm afraid. My neck rash isn't any worse today so I hope it goes the heck away soon, looks ridiculous. You can officially call me a RED NECK, haha!!

Sam, glad you are on the other side of the shingles now. They can be super harsh, painful.
36 years ago this summer our golden retriever gave birth to 12 puppies. I almost dropped dead, I couldn't believe what I was saying. Th evet had told m eit was going to be one or two, duh. We had to bottle feed those pups until we could get on solid food which I made in the blender for them. Nice you are taking care of your calf.

Hello to PQ, Pie & SK.

Have a nice night everyone.
Lav

[Mick]

Re: 14th April

morning all ...23 degrees yes here and it looks more of the same today,and tomorrow and monday brill ...I am in the process of drying out all these dandyleon leaves for the rabbits its like a tobacco factory ..

20190420_062700.jpg

Ialso played about digging out that bed on a temp measure,just to make it look as if it was a bit of a garden and not a plot of waste land..got some rocks ,contoured the soil and put some rock in ...not finished yet ,but you get the idea..it is just to tidy it up for the time being.

20190420_062544.jpg

20190420_062613.jpg

out detecting tomorrow ,so it will be hot ..hat required methinx

ok brew time

Will the real redneck please stand up???how are you today thenLav? any better?did you get the power cuts ?hopefully not.Ive got a rabbit here who keeps sneaking in the front room ...she is a star.oh before I put any water in proper.....you take care ..

hiya tg ...would love to see pics of what you are up against ...sounds like a pretty big task...bit by bit you will crack it ..nice to see the rockery ...for some mad reason I like building them ,

hiya sam ...glad the shingles are on the way out mate ...your politics are no different from ours save the russian influence ,tho it wouldn't surprise me if they were involved in our pseudo government somehow

hiya pauly ...well you dyeing eggs today then? hope all is well and have a good easter x

hiya ppqp ...you ok?

well happy easter to you all Im out early tomorrow so if I aint on early ..thevery best to you ..

An airplane encountered some turbulence, it started juddering and rocking noticeably from side to side.

The flight crew wheeled out the drinks cart to keep the passengers calm.

The attendant asked a business man “Would you like a drink?

“Why not?” he replied unkindly “I’ll have whatever the pilot’s been having.

The rain was pouring and there was a big puddle in front of the pub just
outside the Air Force Base. A ragged old Marine Aviator, was standing near
the edge with a fishing rod, his line in the puddle.


A curious young Air Force fighter pilot stopped and asked what he was doing.


'Fishing,' the old guy simply said.


'Poor old fool,' the Air Force officer thought and he invited the ragged old
Marine Aviator into the pub for a drink.


As he felt he should start some conversation while they were sipping their
whiskey, the haughty fighter pilot asked, "And how many have you caught?'


'You're the eighth,' the old Marine Aviator answered.



Don't mess with old Marines...........

"Do ya wanna hear the dirty joke of the day??"

Assuming him a pervert, I hurriedly said, "No, please leave me alone," and continued on my way past him. He didn't follow, but he did yell after me.
"You don't?? Well I'll tell ya anyway!"

I was bracing for the worst. He croaked louder and louder as I steadily distanced myself.

"What did the dirt say on a rainy day?"

He paused, and then yelled out his expert punch line.

"He said, 'If this keeps up, my names gonna be mud!

Found on the Refrigerator One Morning


My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 57 years old, can no longer satisfy.

I am very happy with you, and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter, I hope that you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18 year old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel.

Please don't be upset----I shall be home before midnight.



When the man came home late that night, he found the following letter on the dining room table:


My Dear Husband,

I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 57 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 57 years old.

As you know, I am a maths teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you read this, I will be at the Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, is 18 years old.

As a successful businessman who has an excellent knowledge of maths, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference - 18 goes into 57 a lot more times than 57 goes into 18.

Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.

Political Aphorisms

If God wanted us to vote, he would have given us candidates.



The problem with political jokes is they get elected.



We hang the petty thieves and appoint the great ones to public office.



If we got one-tenth of what was promised to us in these State of the Union speeches, there wouldn't be any inducement to go to heaven.



Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.



When I was a boy I was told that anybody could become President; I'm beginning to believe it.



Why pay money to have your family tree traced; go into politics and your opponents will do it for you.



Politicians are people who, when they see light at the end of the tunnel, go out and buy some more tunnel.



Politics is the gentle art of getting votes from the poor and campaign funds from the rich, by promising to protect each from the other

I offer my opponents a bargain: if they will stop telling lies about us, I will stop telling the truth about them.



A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country.


I have come to the conclusion that politics is too serious a matter to be left to the politicians.


Instead of giving a politician the keys to the city, it might be better to change the locks.



There ought to be one day -- just one -- when there is open season on Congressmen.

Mr. Greenberg was an illiterate immigrant, but he worked hard, saved his pennies, and started a small business. It did well, and soon he had enough money to send for the wife and children. The work kept him very busy, so he never had time to learn to write, but the bank was happy to do business with him, even though his signature consisted of two X’s.

He prospered, he opened more stores, the kids were transferred to private schools, the family moved into a fancy house (with one staircase going nowhere just for show)…you get the idea.

One day his banker, Mr. Smith, asked him to drop by.

“So vat’s the problem?” Greenberg asked, a bit anxiously.

Smith waved a bunch of checks at him. “Perhaps nothing,” he said, “but I wanted to be on the safe side. These recent checks of yours are all signed with 3 X’s, but your signature of record has just 2.”

Greenberg looked embarrassed. “I’m sorry about making trouble,” he said, “but my vife said that since I’m now such a high-class rich guy, I should have a middle name!”


While reading an article last night about fathers and sons, memories came flooding back to the time I took me son out for his first pint.

Off we went to our local pub only two blocks from our house.

I got him a Guinness. He didn't like it, so I drank it.

Then I got him a Kilkenny's, he didn't like that either, so I drank it.

Finally, I thought he might like some Harp Lager? He didn't. So I drank it.

I thought maybe he'd like whiskey better than beer, so we tried a Jameson's, nope!

In desperation, I had him try that rare Redbreast, Ireland's finest. He wouldn't even smell it. What could I do but drink it!

By the time I realized he just didn't like to drink, I was so fookin' shit-faced I could hardly push his pram back home.

A school teacher asked her students to make a sentence containing the expression "I presume".

One little girl held up her hand and said: "Yesterday my mother hand washed the dinner dishes and I presumed that the dishwasher was broken."

"Very good" said the teacher.

Another one said: "This morning, my father drove the Volkswagen out of the garage, I presume that the BMW wouldn't start."

"That's excellent" says the teacher.

Little Johnny at the back of the classroom gets up and says: "Yesterday I saw grandpa leave the house with a newspaper under his arm and headed for the bush, I presume that......."

The teacher interrupted him and said, "I stopped you because you have no idea what your grandfather was going to do, so you can't presume anything."

Johnny says, "Please Teacher, let me finish my sentence."

The teacher says, "Very well. Continue."

"As I was saying, I saw my grandpa heading for the bush with a newspaper under his arm. I presume he was going for a crap because he can't read."

A couple were roaring down the road on a Honda motorcycle when the guy pulled over because his leather jacket had a broken zip. He told his girlfriend, "I can't keep driving any more, the air hitting me in the chest is unbearable."

His girlfriend said "Try putting your jacket on back to front."

The boyfriend quickly made the change and they continued roaring down the road until the next bend! The boyfriend was going far too fast, lost control and the couple were both flung into a ditch.

A passing motorist stopped, rushed over to help, then ran to call the police. The police telephone operator asked, "Are they showing any signs of life?"

"Well," the motorist explained, "the girl seems OK and her boyfriend was moving until I turned his head around the right way!"

A father was due for a major heart operation for bypass surgery and he insisted that his son,a renowned surgeon, perform the operation.

As he was about to get the anesthesia, he asked to speak to his son.

"Yes, Dad , what is it?"

"Don't be nervous, son; do your best, and just remember, if it doesn't go well, if something happens to me, your mother is going to come and live with you and your wife...."

[porqoui]

Re: 14th April

MAE ALL...

Sam...glad to hear the shingles are subsiding. I don't think you'll be alone in the pollen attacks this spring. Glad to hear the calf is thriving even if you have to bottle feed once a day. Hope you don't get hit too hard with the storms.

Lav...I hope you don't get clobbered with storms, I've been watching the weather forecasts. I'm with you as far as Easter Dinner, will be eating whatever. Sorry to hear the rash is back. If it's not too personal why do you take the statin? I remember you hiding out in the house last summer, hope you avoid that this year.

TG...it would be great to see a picture of your place. Hope you can get it sold quick so you can put all that yard work behind you.

Mick...I'm about 20 degrees colder than you this morning. Storm clouds yesterday looked like it was going to snow. We're going to warm up for a couple of days and then back to single digits for next weekend. Hopefully May will finally bring Spring, want to get out in the dirt.

Pauly...you working today? Hope you have a great Easter with the kids.

Going to try and spend some time outdoors when it warms up. Got to take advantage when I can. Have a Super Sober Saturday all....:smile:PPQP

[Lavande]

Re: 14th April

Greetings Abbers,

Red neck is vastly improved today ~ thank goodness!
Last night's storms dropped about 4.5" of rain with lots of wind. It partially knocked down the gutter that runs along the back of our house. It's propped up in place for now, haha! The tornado never got here, I'm happy about that!

Mick, you sure do love to dig in the dirt, LOL. You always have your place looking nice
I ended up inviting son & his family for dinner tomorrow. I have no idea if my DIL will show, whatever.

PQ, you are supposed to be having spring weather now. Keeping my fingers crossed for you
When I turned 50ish my cholesterol level suddenly jumped up. My ratio is good but the total cholesterol kept rising despite eating vegan 90% of the time & exercising & all that. I was put on low dose Atorvastatin because of my heavy family history of coronary artery & peripheral artery disease. I don't want to die prematurely of clogged arteries. What can a girl do? I stopped the Atorvastatin as soon as the redness started again, think I caught it in time. One of the side effects of that drug is photosensitivity so being out in the sun causes me to burn up, ugh. Now I'll be having nightmares about clogged arteries, haha!!

Hello to Cyn, Sam, Pauly, Pie, SK & anyone else stopping by.
Wishing everyone a nice night & a nice Easter Sunday.

Lav