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I decided couldn't take it any moe soo I'm staying in a al phase

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    #16
    Shades I often think of you and your son. I feel so much empathy for you. I admire you for standing by him when everyone else turns their backs. Your situation has touched my heart.
    No matter how far you go or how fast you run, you can't get away from yourself. ....said at an AA meeting. It stuck with me.

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      #17
      Dear Polly,
      Thank you so much for taking the time to reply. It means so much to me. I appreciate all ur special understanding and support and this forum. I always admire what wisdom you share with everyone here. I have copied ur signature saying and sent to my son. He doesn't reply to often to my help and just relieved that he is still here . All I can do is be calm & love him boo boos and all. So indifferent to the fact that he goes thru so much pain and misery. It almost like a constant pattern . Alcoholics are children of chaos as is says in the blue book. There is so much more to it that that. There are lovely people we love and cherish who struggle with this disease every day.
      I see a change in the philosophy and treatment of addiction. Even the Pres of the US has spoken that more money is allocated to treatment for addiction, other than locking some in jail. So much more is usually going on other than the addiction.
      I hope to hear from you on how your doing. What's really working for you and if you have tried any meds to stop the cravings. I know of many I have suggested to my son . Pills he takes but when he binges he doesn't take them. There is a weekly shot for stoping the cravings hoping he will get there some day.
      AA is great for some and is it for everyone? There is a new book out on a study of all the meds to block the cravings in different countries very interesting.
      Never lose HOPE always help someone who needs the kindness from a stranger every day. I thought that was a great idea as I read most of the posts the past few days. "Women on a mission". Very enlightening! I will get that back in my daily lists of positive things to do for others. I used to deliver food and take flowers to shut ins and elderly they were so many lessons I learned from that experience. Life is full of surprises. You never know when the one you need the most will come.
      Take care, peace & heeling!
      ((((Hugs)))
      Shades
      "Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. " by Winston Churchill .

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        #18
        Dear little beagle,
        How wonderful to hear from you. Your words are always so encouraging and caring. That means so much.
        I do keep up on all ur posts on how you are doing and always have you in my prayers. This is a special devotion for many of us who hold love and hope in all our hearts to give and share. I know you have been thru so much and always find a way to be grateful for many things in your life. You are so smart. I like that about you!
        Beagles even little ones are the most honest breed. Loving and protective easily make friends you'll ever find . And little Beagle like you, who, I have gotten to know thru reading you heartfelt posts you have a wonderful temperament, personality, behavior, traits, and characteristics everyone looks up too! However, Beagles we know were developed as hunting dogs and they have many hunting dog behaviors "hardwired" into their genes. Little Beagles need much more to keep their lives busy and distracted from learned behaviors.
        Like myself I am a border collie. Hard wired to herd my prey into the best direction to protect them. I have done well with my other children herding and nipping at their heels when I know they are in danger. Yet with all my life's energy and with all the hard wired in my breeding there is one that has fallen to the side led by the heart of a lion and determination of a flock of geese heading south with no way to block their direction.
        There is always that one that will stray! Right down the rabbit hole down, down, down.
        Yet there is the little beagle & the border collie laying in waiting for the lost one to come home. Always greeted with a nip or two to let them know they are very much cared for and loved.
        This scenario is so clear that we as humans are hard wired to do many of life's goals and challenges. No matter what side tracks us we still are hard wired to stay on our journey. No matter what the side tracks or where it takes us we always have hope. We still care have realistic dreams for our flocks to have a good life even the strays.
        Hope to hear more from you on how your doin. I realize I have been so selfish and I am deeply sorry to always write only of my pain. When there are so many of you in pain too. I wanted to tell you I am here for you and can support and hold up on days when a little extra friendship can give you what you may need to help lift ur spirits & help make it a little easier for you to make it thru your day! Keep me posted!
        Peace and Heeling one day at a time. (((HUGS)))
        SHADES
        "Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. " by Winston Churchill .

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          #19
          Dear SKendall,
          Thank you so much for you words and thoughts of support. I know it is wonderful just to hear others care about my son and the horrors of losing a child to addiction.
          I wish you well and know your struggles has been a journey .
          I do like your signatur, Enlightened by MWO...
          I am looking foreward to getting to know you and will be here for whatever I can do to help you. It's time that I give back!
          We all have suffered enough. Time to turn our lives into more than just disappointment anger, agony and pain
          I have accepted my son's life, adopted many ways to be there for him and choose sources of support for myself and others as well as believe tomorrow is a new day!
          Helping others is truly a gift as many here have been here for me. A kind thought a the understanding from a post has heled me thru some very dark days.
          Now I want to turn it around and be here for you!
          PEACE & heeling
          SHADES
          "Never give in. Never give in. Never, never, never, never -- in nothing, great or small, large or petty -- never give in, except to convictions of honor and good sense. Never yield to force. Never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy. " by Winston Churchill .

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