Trying...

[dejafoo345]

I've been trying and failing to quit drinking for years now. I've been drinking at a dangerous amount for about 8 years now and I'm at my breaking point. I don't understand why it's so hard to just stop. I'm going to see a therapist next week and really plan on focusing on loving myself, which I think is where this all starts and ends. If I loved myself, then I doubt I would want to put myself in dangerous situations, allow myself to get sloppy in front of friends and family, or want to just shut out the world with alcohol.

Finding communities like this are huge for me to not feel so alone in my struggle. I have a goal to be AF for at least a month and then go from there. I know this thing needs to be tackled one day at a time, so I'm trying not to set lofty goals that might be overwhelming. I'm also going to be rereading This Naked Mind again, which helped me the last time I took a break.

Any advice or words of wisdom are greatly appreciated.

[SKendall]

Welcome. I suggest you read the Toolbox, the Newbie's Nest and formulate a plan. There is much available support here so hop on board.

[NoSugar]

Hi, Deja

You aren't alone. And you aren't bad or weak - you're addicted to a highly addictive substance that is legal, glamorized, and heavily promoted. Strange situation given that it is toxic to everyone each time it is consumed. This is an opportunity for you to quit poisoning yourself!

30 days is a good goal - it's long enough to clear alcohol from your system and be able to make rational choices. I hung out on MWO almost all my waking hours at the beginning. Please jump in anywhere, keep posting, and feel free to ask questions.

All the best, NS

[lex]

I'm going to see a therapist next week and really plan on focusing on loving myself, which I think is where this all starts and ends. If I loved myself, then I doubt I would want to put myself in dangerous situations, allow myself to get sloppy in front of friends and family, or want to just shut out the world with alcohol.

Heck by the time you figure all of that stuff out you'll be an old man like me and still drinking!

I probably shouldn't be offering advice, but I will anyway: Don't waste any time or effort on the soft stuff right now- put all your efforts to quitting for 30 days. Then you can reward yourself by seeing a therapist and you and he or she can muse about how to love yourself better at your respective leisures!

Good luck with whatever you decide on, of course.

[SKendall]

I like lex's suggestion and had momentarily forgot the 30 days and I encourage you to do that. There will be some difficult moments but keep posting and reading here. So many here have gotten sober that way.

[little beagle]

3 years ago I started with a resolution of 30 days. Just as you are.

[lex]

One year ago I started with a resolution of 30 days. Just as you are.

[dejafoo345]

Thanks everyone, your words of encouragement mean a lot. Today is day 2 and I'm still feeling very low from my previous drinking. I know I just need to make it another day or so to get out of the fog and then I need to stay focused on my goal. My issue is that the minute I start feeling better, I also think it's okay to have a drink which sends me into my tail spin again.

I'm so afraid that this is my last chance before I lose everything that I've worked so hard to achieve. A career, an amazing boyfriend, a new house. Everything. Maybe it's a blessing in disguise, but I'm taking an antibiotic that I can't mix with alcohol for the next 7 days. I'm hopeful that a week off will turn into a month will turn into a year....

[dejafoo345]

Good morning all,

Feeling great and motivated this morning, but also humble knowing I've had plenty day 3s before. Things that have been super helpful the last couple of days:

- My Way Out community
- HSM community (Hello Sunday Morning)
- This Naked Mind audio program and workbook
- Taking it day by day, moment by moment
- Recognizing the moments when I could be having a drink and being thankful for being clear headed

I've talked about This Naked Mind before, but I want to talk about it again because I'm approaching it differently this time around. Last time I read the book, and it was super helpful and showed me just how dangerous and harmful alcohol is to our bodies. This time, however, by doing the audio program, I'm participating in this learning. The workbooks force you to be more involved in what you are listening to and learning by having you answer questions before and after listening to each lesson/liminal point. I've printed out the sheets to fill out my answers and refer to/reflect on down the road.

Have a wonderful Thursday everyone!

[lex]

I'm rooting for you dejafoo345, and so are many others here!

[dejafoo345]

Feeling grateful for another day 4, and hopeful to get to day 5.

Some thoughts from yesterday:

- I need to focus on the idea that I don't drink rather than I can't drink
- There will always be a future event, trip, etc that will involve alcohol and the temptation; keep living day by day
- One of my favorite quotes is by Aristotle and goes "It is the mark of an educated mind to entertain a thought without accepting it" - I'd like to apply that to thoughts of drinking; that I may be able to entertain it without accepting, and therefore acting on it

As I head into my weekend I am hopeful and humble. I've promised myself that making it to day 6 will earn me a manicure or massage as a way to be kind to myself for getting through what I know will be some tough circumstances. Thanks for listening!

[NoSugar]

- I need to focus on the idea that I don't drink rather than I can't drink

Congratulations, Deja - you're sounding great!

One day it occurred to me, I don't have to drink! Relief washed over me -- for so long I had felt compelled to drink, as if I had nothing to say in the matter. But it is totally up to us. We just have to realize that. Like Pav's avatar says: