D'em pesky women!
HMMMMMM ..................
HMMMMMM ..................
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D'em pesky women!
NICE!!!A F F L..
Alcohol Free For LifeComment
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D'em pesky women!
Paula's Chinese couple then open their own restaurant and one day a man walks in and orders.
After 10 minutes a duck waddles over to the man's table, flaps onto his knee and croons:
"Ah luuuv you dearly my darling. You ah ze most handsome man ah av ever seen! I want to av your ducklings you gorgeous creature you. Kiss me my darling man, take me away with you..". and so it goes on.
The man eventually beckons the head waiter over who, obvously bewildered, asks what the problem is.
The man replies:
"I asked for 'AROMATIC' duck!"Comment
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D'em pesky women!
You're not gonna believe this...But it really is a true story.
When I lived in Colorado years ago, I worked at a very posh, expensive, french restaurant... very fine dining...
Anyway, one evening these 4 gentlemen came in for dinner , all dressed up in suits & ties, etc...
I come & start taking their dinner order... the first guy orders the "Confit of Duck" (specialty of the house)
Just about that time, one of the chefs, start pounding on something kinda loudly in the kitchen. The guy looks at me and asks if that's his duck.
I just looked right at him without batting an eye... (in my black & white "peguin" suit/serving uniform)... and said, "No sir, I believe he's choking his chicken"
Here these guys are expecting a fine dining experience, and they got ME!:H Thank GOD, they laughed! I don't know what I'd have done!
The only thing worth stealing is a kiss...:flower:
zwink:Comment
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D'em pesky women!
Paula and Louise.
:H :l
Jude
:H :H
Fantastic......by the way 'Footlongs' are either a myth or a dream.
Once, I dreamed I was given a wish. A genie appeared while I was looking at my 'myth'.
He asked what my wish was. I explained that I wanted my 'myth' to reach the floor...............then my legs fell off!Comment
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D'em pesky women!
Apparently it's a real product, Good alternative to the booze one would say , but does it give you a hump back........sigpicXXXComment
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D'em pesky women!
Apparently its good for getting you up in the morning...err...Out of bed....ooo...It dosnt matter.
uch:
I don't care who you are...Your not walking on water while i'm fishing..
One drink is too many... A thousand is never enough...Sober since July 2nd 2009
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D'em pesky women!
OOOOh is that what erectus does for you ........sigpicXXXComment
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D'em pesky women!
Cruel Jokes to play on Women
Have you noticed how d'em pesky women (DPW) just cant keep away? Forever interfering - with the latest being Mack's excellent thread. How frustrating it would be if they could just see the message titles on this forum but not the messages! Or could see them but not reply. Imagine the delicious squeals of outrage!:H
In the absence of this nirvana (yet!) I thought we could up up the ante a little with a few revenge stories to be used at your discretion. Will obviously benefit the odd lady who does happen to come here by accident - forewarned and all that.
Number 1 - played on an ex boss of mine while starting out at an advertising agency:
On her first day she was sent out to buy a special light bulb for a photo shoot. She was told they needed a BLACK one for this moody shot - er.. to cast shadows! And not to come back without one or the whole shoot would be ruined!
Eager to impress she argued for half an hour at the local specialist lighting suppliers who eventually chucked her out. She then travelled across the city to another big supplier who proceeded to laugh her out the shop. The assistant even called colleagues over and got her to repeat the request so they could all have a good belly laugh. She eventually trailed back empty handed and is still teased to this day about it
Number 2 Much much worse - girls you mustn't read this!
A female colleague, single and looking for new man, but not particularly popular:
It's valentines day, not a lot happening in the office apart from some plotting. The young lady in question pops away for a call of nature. Cruel colleague leaves post-it note on her screen which ficticiously says: "Huge bunch of flowers delivered to you in reception". She leaps up, her dream come true, and announces to the whole floor "I'v got flowers, I'v got flowers!" and dashes downstairs.
5 minutes later she tries to slink back in unnoticed except the whole floor is now standing up, pointing, clapping, laughing and chanting "I'v got flowers!". You can imagine her reaction:upset:
Horrible eh?! But I kid you not, it was my first week there and I saw the whole thing.
I know this would have shocked some of the DPW contingent so thankfully none of them would have read the 2nd story after the above warning - but then that IS why it's a guy's forum.Comment
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D'em pesky women!
Oh Nick that is terrible.......
But i still nearly wet myself
Elvis is'nt dead, he's in my broom cupboard ....Comment
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D'em pesky women!
Aww Nick that is terrible....
But i still nearly wet myself:HI don't care who you are...Your not walking on water while i'm fishing..
One drink is too many... A thousand is never enough...Sober since July 2nd 2009Comment
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D'em pesky women!
Oooh no reply Macks!
We've won!
Victory!!
The forum is ours!
All ours!!
Now we can talk about .....er...girls!Comment
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D'em pesky women!
I'm here.......................I'm really easy to get along with once people learn to worship meComment
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D'em pesky women!
Sorry:
"......and Lush's!"Comment
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D'em pesky women!
I'm here too Nick..... however, I think it's hilarious!
keep up the good work...It always seems impossible until it's done....Comment
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