Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

[Recluse]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

Just thinking aloud here P3. Could you not ask the doc for some kind of sedative to have available for emergency situations like those? If you explained that it was either that or the bottle, might your doc not be willing to cooperate? My doc gave me sleeping tablets to try to help me with the booze when I asked. I suppose it depends what your relationship with your doc is like. Does he/she know you have a drink problem?

[pingu1997]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

Reccie, my Dr is fab however it is virtually impossible to get to see her. Hence I get two months work of meds at a time which means I don't have to go back too often. She knows I've given up drinking. The others in the practice,are rude, ignorant, and I'd hav to be on deaths door before I went to see one of them...

[Recluse]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

pingu1997;1462082 wrote: Reccie, my Dr is fab however it is virtually impossible to get to see her. Hence I get two months work of meds at a time which means I don't have to go back too often. She knows I've given up drinking. The others in the practice,are rude, ignorant, and I'd hav to be on deaths door before I went to see one of them...

I'm in the same situation with my GP. It takes around 4 weeks to get an appt and my experience with the other GPs at the practice has not been good. But I'm able to renew my prescription online...are you not able to do that? Had you run out of your meds last week because if that was what the problem was then the solution would seem fairly straightforward. If need be, make an appointment 4 or 6 weeks before you run out.

[pingu1997]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

no, I have to go to the surgery which is 3 miles away, then go back and collect it, then last week I stupidly lost it and had to ring up today and beg for a new one...

I can't get an appt, not even in 6 weeks, when you ring up and ask for that doctor they just say no. You have to cry and pretend you are desperate and then they can usually find you something !!!

I've run out of meds today as it happens as that would have added another disaster into the equation LOL.... and they are on a 4 month repeat which means I can go 8 months without having to actually see anyone. Good job really given the dr situation in our practice!

[satz123]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

pingu1997;1462049 wrote: sorry to have butted in and created a new discussion....

my thing is this, I drank because things triggered me, depression, shit going on, difficulties at home... and before I knew it I was knee deep in drink every day starting as early as I could, sometimes at 345pm when I got the kids home
OK so I stopped, it wasn't easy, but I did it. And there were times I really wanted a drink, but those times got less and less, and recently I even reportedly said that I had hardly thought about drinking in weeks, feeling great and really knocking it out of my head
But the triggers, it seems, never go away. And last week was a perfect example. I'm run down, Lucy is driving me to despair, and 2 specific incidents last Thurs really pissed me off, one being about some gt bullying my son. In the old days, whilst sitting crying on the sofa, I would have turned to a bottle of vodka and necked a few mouthfuls of that just to calm down...
So last Thurs, I am sitting crying on the sofa, having been really pisssed off by happenings in the day, and for some inexplicable reason, the urge to drink just hit me. And I cried more and felt sick. Then I thought No-one would know, I need this, I can't think of another way to calm down
Then the clear side of my head remembered that I nearly have 2 years sober and this would be madness. The urge had never been so strong. I was really on the edge....
So I did what I knew was the right thing, I reached out to people, anyone who would say don't be so fucking stupid, and the support in the end came from my best friends and a group of random people on Facebook. Talked and chatted until I had calmed down until the urge went away
I'm still feeling well screwed up about it, even nearly a week later.

I guess I'm saying 2 things, it is an ongoing battle and even nearly 2 years off drinking the triggers still show their ugly faces now and again
Secondly the best thing you can do is seek help, not run away from it
I would not be here now typing if I had opened that bottle last Thursday...

Much love
P3

Hi PPP
This is a great post as it lays bare how we deal with the shit that is thrown at us. Sorry there was no-one around that day last week - I do think it was a quiet time in the Army late afternoon ?
You did the right thing, reaching out somewhere else - even on Farcebook .

I think though that having some way to deal with day to day stress when it strikes needs to be something we should all have in our arsenal.
My life is a 'doddle' I'm sure compared to yours with the 2 young uns - so this is easy for me to say I know
But .... maybe a pill is not in order every time ? You proved that last week PPP - and a chat & an ear to listen was what worked for you in the end.

Great job Mrs :goodjob:- an inspiration to us all I'd say !:l

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

Well said Satzy - totally agree. And P3 that is a brilliant post.

I guess I'm saying 2 things, it is an ongoing battle and even nearly 2 years off drinking the triggers still show their ugly faces now and again
Secondly the best thing you can do is seek help, not run away from it
I would not be here now typing if I had opened that bottle last Thursday...

This is hard to hear for those early on - like me - BUT I think we need to hear and try to understand and embrace the fact that the ugly faces of triggers can and do make their faces shown - even 2 years down the AF road...indeed prolly 10 and 20 years down the AF road.

It WILL happen and the best thing we can do is learn from those who have gone before us and, as Kuya I think suggested, have a "go to" mechanism if ever we are there. Like our own "red button". The hard part is recognising it and not giving in.. which as Molls has said is all the harder cos it is the nature of our addiction to retreat and go into ourselves and not reach out.

P3 - I am SO glad you are here today typing.

[pingu1997]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

I'm really sorry, I shouldn't have said that bit on reflection, for some people the putting down is hard, the first day, week, month is hard. We are all different I guess. I really struggled the first month then it got easier, then I had a mental relapse.... and nearly caved at 3 months,,,, then managed another few...then another "why not" moment just after a year...

the triggers affect me less, so nowadays it's so unusual for me to think like that, I guess that's why I felt so damn scared....

hope this gives you comfort?

[RunningCourage]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

Da be sorry P3 (if you mean the bit i quoted) cos you write what is real. This isn't the newbies nest here. We're all at different stages - you, JC, Molls, Reccie, NursePea, mrsa, Satzy, Questy... all of us, Tipps, Mario, Tabbers too. And we're all gonna respond differently with our journeys. But there's no point in saying summit like "well after 30 / 100 days (or whatever) it's sort of like you find the end of the rainbow and there's a pot of gold and you feel good and you have this warm fuzzy feeling inside you..." That aint the case. (Correct me if I'm wrong here JC :H) The reality is you, P3, as with us all here, used AL for years and years for our own reasons... and that habit became an addiction and the memory and knowledge of that addiction will stay with each of us forever. It doesn't surprise me that even the long term Affers in moments of distress would desire a drink.

[Mick]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

Hi all just a wee pop in....weather is crap....only 27 degrees:-) went dor a good walk earliee into los gigantes....no alc is a dawdle...calming down on food is hard ..found an ace pudding...raspberry tart wi coconut ice cream...molls youll love it...foing up mount teide tomorrow hope you are all ok

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

I heard my name mentioned so here I is.

Pingu, you spoke with complete honestly there. You're children are very lucky to have a Ma who is sober going through their teenage years. I wouldn't do that again for a starring roll in The Rocky Horror Show and more money than I knew what to do with. You thought it through and came to the right conclusion. 2 years down the shoot. It's not worth it.

And you're right, Runners, it's not all about warm and fuzzies. Sometimes it just plain stinks.

I actually wonder where I'd be if I hadn't started using MWO. 6 feet under probably.

Oh and where's me cup of tea.

[Recluse]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February



Jaysus - bit late with the kettle there! Lucky JC hasn't turned up yet or we'd never hear the last of it!

Edit - shit, she has turned up!

[JackieClaire]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

Ahem :H

[Recluse]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

JackieClaire;1462208 wrote: Ahem :H

Well, it's the thought that counts! :H

How was work? I've lost track of which days you work at the counselling place and which days you work for Mr JC.

[Zenstyle]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

Hello me auld muckers. Did i hear the kettle?

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time Pingu... I hope you start to feel better now that you're talking about things... :l:l:l

A bit of a quick fly-by from me. IOP, AA, the commute and stuff in general is consuming a lot of my time... I keep thinking I'll get into a rhythm but so far no dice. I reckon I could use time management classes... In all honesty, we have to get there early and it's in rush hour so by the time the commute is out of the way it's up to 4 1/2 hours out of the day... and that's before I fit AA in... and the trip to that. Everything is spread out, that's the problem. Och well...

I had my hair cut today... it really needs colouring something rotten and all, and I'd really have liked to have them do it... but you need a second mortgage for these places.

I'm toying with starting a pilates class on the days I don't do IOP... has anyone done that?

OK, off to do laundry and wash the car before hauling ass up the road. I'll call back in between shirts as the thought of being chained to the washer and feckin ironing board is not even SLIGHTLY interesting to me! Bleurgh!!!!!!

[anon]

Army Thread Wednesday 13th February

JackieClaire;1462208 wrote: Ahem :H

:H:H

A bit of a parallel with the drinking stuff and being seduced back. When I was running my first marathon and was 25 miles in I smelled fresh cigarette smoke and felt more than tempted and nostalgic for a ciggie. I think we are going to have many of those occasions when we are tempted to drink:upset:

Would have looked bad running down the Mall smoking a Benson and hedges:H